Fish

Wednesday, 19 October 2011

This Morning, From Sunshine To Snowflakes!!

Monday 3rd October, I woke at 6.30am, If I dreamt I don't recall it. Today is my 2nd day waking up pain free (Luxury) It's another beautiful sunny day, that feels like summer not autumn (I could get used to an Indian summer) I had a wash, washed my hair, dried it & twisted it into a topknot with a hair clip. I made myself a bowl of porridge & a coffee for breakfast. I moisturised my face & applied lip salve & mascara. I slipped on a black vest top, black jogging bottoms, B&W TrimSoles & a white hooded velour jogging top & headed out to the park super early, to have it to myself (No need to scare the public, by my make-up free fissog!!) I did 2.5hrs of power walking with 2lb weights on ankles, and worked up a sweat! 


I got home, and parceled up the four eBay items, that I sold today. I will post them later, after my Job Centre appointment. Next Monday is my BFF (Best Friend Forever) Candie's, Birthday, I wonder if she is planning to do something? I did some ironing while watching 'This Morning' Then sorted out more stuff to eBay, ready for the next time it's a free listing weekend! I found some old Lotto, Euromillions tickets & I checked the numbers online (No Win's SOB!!) So I won't be buying my mansion this week then! lol....

I haven't heard back from Alley the journalist, so I take it I won't be needing to make time & get ready for a photo shoot at mine today?! I don't know whether she is still negotiating the cougar story, with a magazine, or if it's a no go? She is not brilliant at getting back to you & letting you know whats happening (Like most journo's) So I guess only time will tell (Or wont tell)  My other orchid has begun to bloom for the 1st time in years & has some lovely deep pink flowers. 


The ITV Company, with the popular TV show, who said that they wanted me to come in & see them, emailed & phoned me again today. They want me to come into their TalkBack offices in Central London on Thursday. The time is as yet to be confirmed. I watched the news they said the HEATWAVE will tail off midweek & we could have SNOW by the weekend!!! WTF?? Our climate is truly screwed!!... Then even more shock news Amanda Knox has been free'd!! Was the Italian Judge mad, bribed or blackmailed?? I just cannot believe my eyes!!!!...

Amanda Knox, Innocent?.... I Really Don't Think So!!

For elevensies I had a mug of cup-a-soup & some chilli crisps, since yesterday I have been having a sensation similar to indigestion, which is odd on two count's! The 1st being I haven't had indigestion or heartburn since I became a vegetarian aged 15yrs (32yrs ago) The 2nd being I had my Gallbladder removed almost 3yrs ago, so I can't produce the bile, which causes indigestion & heartburn!! 


Also strangely, I seem to have Terracotta coloured poo!! Most odd!! The later may be caused by the amount of tomato, cayenne pepper & chilli in my diet at the moment? Maybe the former is too, or maybe it's my body's response to the local anesthetic & steroids from my Epidural Op? Who knows? 

I popped to the shop & got a Sun newspaper, then I had a Diet Coke, while I settled down & read the paper. The news headline is how Gary Barlow & Robbie Williams, think kids of 16yrs, like Luke Lucas shouldn't be allowed on Xfactor, after his melt down, at the judges houses auditions. After he performed badly, at his audition there. I'm not so sure they are right, some 16yr old's are more mature than others, look at that very young, blonde, little girl, who came 2nd on 'America's Got Talent' Jackie Evencho (below) She was more mature than Luke & yet she was, at least, around half his age.


Jordan, AKA Katie Price, has dumped her Argentinian, hottie, boyfriend, Leandro. The paper are saying that the reason is, because he couldn't keep up with her high sex drive (But I think that's media fed, hyped excuse, to keep up her sexy image) It wasn't long ago that Peter Andre was bemoaning, after they'd split, that he found it frustrating to have a hot, sexy, looking wife, when she wasn't like that at all in the bedroom & how she would rather go to sleep, than have sex! So I suspect whatever the reason was, it was not that her sexual needs, were not being met!

Katie & Leandro 

Prisoners have killed & disemboweled a paedophile in Frankland Prison, Durham. Not a nice way to go, but I for one, wont be shedding a single tear, or losing any sleep over him! The 23yr pervert, Mitchell Harrison, was also stabbed in the eye & had his throat slit! When he was killed by two Lags! The paedophile was found dead in his cell, on Saturday morning, with a home made knife rammed into his stomach! He was killed after inmates had allegedly, rumbled a plot he had to glass a guard. The attackers claimed they acted out of loyalty to decent *screws (*Officers) at the jail. 

Three suspects were arrested, one is double killer Nathan Mann (Any relation Ian? lol) who killed two patients in a nursing home, during a burglary.  Mitchell had multiple injury's, he was jailed in 2008 for raping a 13yr girl in Kendal, Cumbria, he'd lured her to his flat with the promise of booze & cigarettes. He raped her twice before she fled naked. At 13yrs he indecently assaulted a 7yr girl & at 15yrs he raped a 15yr classmate (Lovely chap!!)


The traditional British Cuppa (Above) could become a thing of the past, as young people shun tea. (Also we have become flooded with immigrants, who apart Indians, tend to be coffee not tea drinkers!!) Only 4% of the nations tea drinkers are under 25, while more than 50% are 45 or over (I'm not one of them, don't like tea, I never have, I only force down, vile green tea, for health reasons!) Most young people would rather drink bottled water, or go for a coffee with pals.


WTF Thousands of pounds of our taxpayers cash is being spent on training FOREIGN athletes for the 2012 Olympics (Which by the way I have no interest in!!) The Foreign Office is handing out £15,000 to South American hopefuls at the London Games.. WHY? The GIFT was said it was part Britain's 'Olympic Legacy' (What, the legacy of being doormats?) The cash will train 23 Bolivians in Sorejapa, on the banks of Lake Titicaca (It's definitely Tits up & a load of Caca!!)  So we are now we are actually paying, to train our soddin competition!? They will compete in Judo, Taekwondo, Wrestling, Swimming, Athletics, Cycling, Horse Ridding, Rowing & Canoeing!!.. Another £2,800 will be spent to send a coach for the blind paralympic athletes in Barbados (You couldn't make it up!!)

I was about to edit a half done blog when I spotted that my hater GLPGoddess had commentated on my 'Rain Pain Go Away!!....... Don't come Back another Day!!' Blog which I'd posted early this morning. Which made me laugh, she must have been laying in wait, to swoop, when I next posted a blog, to comment on it so soon aftr I'd posted it! My BFF Candie laughed & text, that GLP is losing her touch!! My actor pal Jamie laughed & said "She obviously needs to find a way to occupy all the free time she has on her hands! When someone gives your blog that level of attention, you know your important to them!" GLP will be seething at that!... My friend Ricky said "It's a win win, you clearly annoy the shit out of this person without trying, plus you get the pleasure of knowing you wind her up! She's miserable, your not - enjoy the power over her!!" (Oh to see her face when she reads that!) Candie said the main reason she checks my blogs is to see GLP's horrid comments adding "They're a bit rubbish now.... she's not putting in the effort!!" Which made me crack up


I had 4 fish fingers & some baked beans for lunch, then went to the job centre for my interview. Posting a few letters on the way. I came home & watched 'The Real Housewives Of New York'  Bethanny Frankel is with child & the rest of them are acting like children! I did a coloured laundry wash, wrote the addresses on the eBay parcels of the Items that have sold. Then I watched 'Come Dine With Me' followed by 'Home & Away' 


I made a Stir fry, with black bean sauce! Washed down with a Diet Coke. Then fixed my make-up and went round Jennies to keep the girls company, for the night, while Edgar went to darts. Watched the TV 'Extreme Makeover' & 'Steps Reunion' with a coffee & also a Galaxy bar. Then it was time for the NEW series of the fantastic 'Hotel Inspector' on Ch5. I loved the Black (or Navy) & White wrap dress, with a large floral print, Alex Polizzi wore when she arrived at the Dorset Hotel. Then I had a de ja vou moment, it was like the dress in my dream a day or two ago!! How odd!!...


Then I watched 'Big Brother' I love Aaron, but he needs to man up!! Big Time!! He is the 1st man that both Candie & I fancy, we normally have totally different, tastes except for Piers Brosnan (But anyone who doesn't fancy him, must be blind or have No Taste!) But Aaron needs to MAN UP!! ... the crying over the "Once you've had black"...... film quote, not impressive!!... But I have to say, in his Hill Billy wig & the drawn on, Porn Star mustache, he actually looked hot!! As he did his fast food task, when he really shouldn't have!! 

Big Brothers Aaron

Then we watched 'Made In Chelsea' Francis Boulle was as amusing as always, Caggey as beautiful as always, but Hugo still reminds me of a tall, thin, posh, Dean Gaffney! I'm still trying to work out where I know Spencer from? & Gabriella Ellis (Below) is still as mad as a box of frogs, with a really ugly, fake looking smile! Very unfortunate! Jennie had never seen it before and found it most amusing, Edgar came home very happy, as his darts team thrashed a supposedly much better one, with their own team shirts etc! Walked home around 11.45pm had a Diet Coke & went to bed. (Calories consumed 1,419)

Please Don't Smile!! Gabriella Ellis

Tuesday 4th October, I woke at 7.30am, I know I dreamt but it was all a haze on waking, like I was half awake & half asleep, while dreaming. I had a wash & dressed the same as yesterday, tied my hair back, then headed out into a grayer day, than of late. And set off for my 2hr power walk at 8.15am, I was on my way home around 10.20am, when the ITV show called me, for a bit more of a chit chat! to find out some more details about me. I got in had an apple & coffee for breakfast. Then quickly popped out to the shop For a paper & a Diet Coke & quickly got back in the warm.


I read the paper, the headline was OF COURSE, about the Shocking news, that Amanda Knox (Above) has been cleared of the murder of Meredith Kercher! I'm sure her parent's are delighted & many from her home town of Seattle, in the USA. But most of Europe (Myself included) Are very, very sure that, she's guilty as hell, and has got off due to a bad, Italian, policing, technicality. I feel sorry for Meredith's poor parents. 

Meredith's father John, said he couldn't believe the judges decision. Adding "It's ludicrous!! How can they ignore all the OTHER evidence? The result is crazy!" I wouldn't be at all surprised, if Knox's wealthy parent's, slipped the judge a backhander! Corruption is pretty rife in the Italian police force/judicial system! Just look how conveniently Versace's "Supposed" Assassin was found, and how he had conveniently killed himself, before the Italian police got to him! No way was it him, he was a disposable scapegoat, used as smoke & mirrors, conveniently dead & unable to talk, a mere pawn & not the culprit, just like Lee Harvey Oswald was over John Kennedy!!

The brilliant Theresa May, has vowed to end Britain's human rights farce!! (About bloody time!!) She also pledges to close the loophole allowing foreign criminals to stay here, due to their human rights!)


21yr Tattooed, Goth/Vampire, Jade Richards (Above) Who was dropped from The Xfactor's, Girls category. Will not be back, to audition for a 3rd time! Shame that she's a quitter at just 21yrs!! The amount of jobs you get turned down for in interviews is often very many, before your offered a job. Models & Actors get knock back, after knock back, at auditions, as do musicians. If they all gave up after two goes, they'd get nowhere. In life you get a lot of doors shut in your face, you have to just keep knocking until eventually someone lets you in! Get your act together Jade, keep practicing to get even better, lose some weight, to look a more sellable package & swallow your pride one more time!! She had a good voice, but she wasn't exceptional, it's just because like SuBo (Susan Boyle) she looked like she'd be bad (An overweight, tattooed, goth) that people find her singing amazing, not because it actually is!! Meanwhile 16yr reject Luke (Below) will re apply.


There were some awful pictures of a pumped up Jodie Marsh, after she has taken up body building, saying it's the best she has ever felt & saying with an extreme diet & weight training regime she has gone from a size 10 to a size 6 & has gone from 25% body fat to 10% body fat & has gained 8lb of muscle when she lost 20lb of fat.... She say's she feels the sexiest she has ever been, she certainly doesn't look it in those pictures! She said she wants a breast reduction, as they get in the way of her body building & they look ridiculous now that she has lost so much body fat!!

 Body Building Jodie Marsh
The Old Jodie Marsh

I watched 'Loose Women' & 'The News' then made a toasted, cheese & tomato toasted sandwich, which I had with some Wotsits & a mug of tomato soup. Not only is my neck still not hurting, but when I press my fingers hard against the back of my neck, up and down it, I can't feel the golf ball sized hard lumps & also it doesn't make the crunching noise, that it use to either! I guess that's the anti-inflammatory effects of the steroids? Lets hope it stays that way! My pink Orchid in my lounge is looking more beautiful by the minute. Well worth the 2yr wait, when it didn't bloom, from right after my mum died!!....


I did a load of boring, but essential household chores, yawn, then I did a load of job searches & applied for a bunch. It was then time for 'The Real Housewives Of New York' There is a NEW, single, housewife Sonia (A friend of Luann) I no likey!!!!.... She sort of looks like a muttony, Sarah Jessica Parker, she obviously has money (Married into it maybe) But she has no class & savoir fare. I think she will certainly rattle some feathers, I can't see Bethanny taking to her!! Then I watched 'Come Dine With Me' followed by 'Home & Away' 

Then I grilled some Quorn strips, & put them on 2 rice cakes with black bean sauce & had with a mug of tomato soup. I did the washing up, and mopped the kitchen floor, it sounded like it was blowing a gale out, then when I looked out it was very windy & raining! Bye bye Indian summer!

I watched 'Mary Queen Of Frocks' OMFG!! Why did none of the retail job sites, say Mary Porter (Below) was recruiting for some sales/management staff for her own shop, for sexy and stylish clothes for the over 40's?? I'd be brilliant for that, I'd do it standing on my head! They got the backing of House Of Fraiser too! Looking at the interviewee's, I'm 100% better than all that were shown, even the one's they liked.... Damn why wasn't it more widely advertised, job wise!?? Grrrrrrr!!!... Going to check it out when I'm next in London & I have time & see if their are any new job opportunity's!? Then it was 'Big Brother' time, followed by the fantastic & raunchy 'True Blood' Then I had an early night at 12.30am (Calories consumed 1,365)


Wednesday 5th October, I woke at 7am, not in pain, but feeling very odd! With my tongue & the roof of my mouth, numb & feeling fuzzy, with a slight, tight, feeling in my throat, WTF?? I am not sure if that's an after effect of the Steroid injection? Or down to eating too much spicy food? Or maybe even, some kind of food allergy? Well odd!! I know with nut allergy's people get a tight feeling at the back of throat, as the reaction starts. But I can't think of anything I'd be allergic to? As I've not eaten anything new! I wondered if it has got anything to do, with the indigestion-ish like pains, I've been getting, just above my abdomen since Monday? Very, very odd!!... Maybe its just my body burning calories in overdrive (I can live in hope!!) 

I dressed as same as yesterday & went for my 2hr power walk with 2lb weights round my ankles. The weather was gloomier and I almost expected to get rained on. I went home & had porridge with honey & a coffee. Then mopped the kitchen floor. Then popped to the shop and got toilet rolls & a Sun paper. I read the paper, the front page is all Amanda Knox again, winging her male guard in jail kept asking her about intimate details of her sex life, in private interviews (Of course he bloody did, poor Meredith's murder was a Sex Crime!!) Knox's said she was scandalised! (Didn't take her long to play the victim!!)

Cheryl Cole is going to host a Ch4 Fashion Show..... Oh pleeeeeeeze apart from a few lovely Herve Leger numbers, and despite having a stylist, she wears some bloody awful outfits!

Ken Clarke continued to show how out of touch he was & treacherously turned on his fellow party member Teresa May, at yesterdays Tory Conference, in Manchester (The sooner Cameron boots useless Clarke out the better!!) He wrongly poured scorn over, her claim that an illegal immigrant could not be deported because he had a cat, which was proof of his family life in the UK (She was right, it was on the news & in the papers, months ago, does the buffoon walk around with blinkers on?!!) The fool even offered her a bet, that she was talking non sense (I have yet to hear him talk any sense, re crime!!) Clarke ridiculed May's comments as he defended, the much hated 'Human Rights Bill' He will be doing another of his U turns soon, when he finds that Teresa May is in fact spot on!! Meanwhile idiot Clarke insisted, that he will NOT be scraping his plans to send fewer criminals to jail (Is it any wonder that crime is still soaring??)

A vile, sick, mother (If you can call the bitch a mother!!... maybe birth-er, would be a more apt name) tricked her young 4yr old son, into thinking he had cancer. Just so she could fiddle £100,000 in benefits (Evil Beyond Belief!!) She shaved his head & eyebrows & made him wear a bandana, to school to look like he'd had chemo. The boy NOW 9yrs went through the ordeal for 3yrs. She is also said to have claimed his 7yr sister was suffering from a serious illness, from the age of 3-6yrs. She even prevented her kids from taking part in school activity's, to keep up the pretense. The vile excuse of a mother milked the system for 7yrs, forging doctors notes, while collecting a carers allowance!! (Do these people not double check info)?..... 

Actually come to think of it they don't when I was on sickness benefit, they failed to pay me for 6 months, because some office dick head, kept tapping in incorrect numbers for my bank account (To wire 2 weekly payments) which I of course never got, despite me repeatedly telling them, plus giving them the correct info over the phone on average 2 times a week, as well as sending in signed info from my bank, stamped by my bank! With the correct info & statements to prove I had not received the cash! So if they can ignore repeated info handed to them on a plate, they obviously can't be arsed to check info either! The woman (Who for some reason can't be named) has done some psychological damage to those poor kids, sick cow!

Ramona - Real Housewives Of Orange County

I did a bunch of job searches & I had a message to say I had a interview next Monday for a part time job. I watched 'Loose Women' then I popped to post off some more of my eBay sales & got a £3 6" Subway & a drink deal for lunch, must do another big Asda shop, once I have some money in the bank, again. I got home & had my Subway with a chilli crisps. Then I watched 'The Real Housewives Of New York' Where I saw the funniest thing EVER!! Ramona was a catwalk model for a charity event, and the bulging, scary, mad eyed look she did, as she walked (See the video below) made me almost wet myself laughing it was comical!!... What was she thinking??.....

Ramona's, Scary, Stare, Catwalk Eyes

I watched 'Come Dine With Me' & then put a black load in the wash & did the washing up, my mouth still feels weird. Then I watched 'Home & Away' I did some sewing repairs & then heated up some vegetable soup for dinner. Then I watched 'Extreme Makeover' did another load of ironing, then I watched 'Big Brother' then 'TOWIE' Simon Cole text me back & forth from 10pm & we had a catch up chat. I felt a bit peckish so I had a cup-a-soup, while chatting on Twitter & I heard via Twitter that Apple's Steve Jobs, had died aged just 56yrs (Evil disease, Cancer) I did some more ironing & then went to bed, with a decaf coffee at midnight (Calories consumed 1,071)

Thursday 6th October, I woke up at 7am, with my tongue, now back to normal, thankfully & my back pain free, but a gnawing toothache-like pain, in my left knee (It is sooo going to rain today!) I hobbled down the stairs, to the bathroom for a wash, with my bad knee & I got on the scales. I have lost another 3/4lb good! (Better down, than up!) I wore black jogging bottoms, a peach long sleeved Petite Bateau top, with a black Velour hooded top, & my short white puffa jacket over the top & my white Reebok, EasyTone, trainers. I rubbed in some deep-heat cream into my knee, how much of an old biddy that makes me feel!!? Then I set off for my 2hr walk round the park. 

After my walk I got home & had cheese on toast for breakfast, washed down with a Diet Coke. And watched a bit of 'This Morning' before popping out for two first class stamps & a Sun paper. I got to the shop & got a Sun paper, the headline was a shocker! The Corrie soap actor, Michael Le Vell 46 (Below) who plays Kevin Webster, was arrested, in Manchester, over child abuse accusations, by a schoolgirl, he was held by police for 8hrs! As I got indoors, the same subject was being announced on 'This Morning' with a statement from his agent/corrie saying he vehemently deny's the accusations & will prove them to be false! He is said to be going through hell.


I have an audition for a popular ITV show, at 2.30pm. So I had a quick shower & hair wash & dried hair & changed into black wet look leggings, my long boots, a red jersey West One blouse & my red jersey Petite Bateau cardigan. I pulled my hair back into a ponytail & attached my faux ponytail. I did my makeup neutral except for black eyeliner & bright red lipstick. Then I pulled on my long, floor length, black military style coat, grabbed my bag & headed for the station at 12.45pm. I got my ticket & had a 10min wait for the fast train to London. Grabbing a 6" Subway on the way to eat for lunch on the train.

Once on the train I ate my Subway & read the paper also on the front page (Dwarfed by the shocking child abuse headline) is a small bit about Apple founder Steve Jobs, dying in his sleep, from pancreatic cancer aged 56. It is also predicted that Ken Clarke will be sacked by the PM, in his 1st cabinet reshuffle, that will be music to my ears. Clarke provoked fury across the Tory Party over his savaging of Teresa May, over the 'Human Rights Bill' on Tuesday at the Tory Conference. He placed a bet that she was wrong re a immigrant being allowed to stay, over a cat! But it emerged last night, as I was well aware (Unlike Clarke) that she was right!... The PM is also losing patience with Clarke, over his soft sentencing blue print. The PM rightly wants tougher punishments, even joking in his speech that he wanted Ken to read 'Crime & Punishment' & 'Mog The Cat'


It seems that newly single Jordan (Katie Price) has spent a night of passion, with Rugby player Danny Cipriani (Wow that girl, really doesn't waste much time, before jumping in the sack with someone else, at the end of a relationship!!).... she obviously believes in the adage, that the best way to get over someone, is to get under someone else!! Meanwhile there is a photo of Cheryl Cole, in a unflattering black & white, Moschino dress. That she wore to her friend Kimberley Walsh's, 1st night as Princess Fiona, in Shrek, The West End Musical. She'd better get her act together for her Ch4 fashion show. As that outfit did her no favours whatsoever!! She is too short for the style, it needs someone tall to do it justice!

I got to the TalkBack Studio's at 2.20pm & was ushered straight up & sat around filling in forms, and showing my passport & proof of address (A household bill) to prove I was eligible to work in the UK, I had my picture taken. Then at 3.44pm, Alley the Journalist called me & said 'This Morning' wanted me as a guest on their show & was I available to go on, at short notice, tomorrow morning? They will send a car for me, and arrange one to take me home! I said "Yes!!" but then at 3.45pm (1hr &15mins after my appointment time!!) I was called to be seen. So I told Alley to email me any details & my phone would be switched back on, in about a hour if she needed to get hold of me urgently!

I went in to the TalkBack office got fired a load of questions, which I answered. While I did, I was amazed to see, as I looked out of the window, behind my interviewer, that fine snow, was blowing outside the window WTF?? It was bright & sunny (Though windy & not warm) So I didn't expect snow, even though it is forecast for the weekend!! I got out of there just after 5pm (Balls now I have to wait until 7pm to get the train home, as I had an off peak ticket and I can't use it between peak hrs 4.30pm - 7pm) 

My knee was much too painful, to use my time, wandering round the shops in Oxford St, or to call a London buddy to meet up. So I sat in Kings Cross International station, watching the world go by. I got chatted up by some guy walking past, who reminded me of Randy (Below) from the excellent  'My Name Is Earl' and so I pretended to already have a boyfriend, to put him off & go. They have gigs by different bands now, in the station shopping area. The band tonight, were really good, which helped the time pass. I got a bit hungry so popped in Burger King, and had a veggie burger & I luckily had a voucher for free fries & drink when you buy any burger.

Randy - From 'My Name Is Earl'

7pm finally arrived & I got the fast Bedford train to St Albans. my feet were burning, so I sat on the wall by the station & took my boots off & took out my padded innersoles out of my boots, slid them inside my black socks & walked home in my socks, with my floor length coat you couldn't tell in the dark, that I wasn't wearing shoes anyway! Alley text me the 'This Morning' thing has been pushed back for some time in the next 2 weeks as its been bumped for someone talking about topical Amanda Knox. 

I got in had a milky coffee & watched the brilliant Philip Glenister in 'Hidden' on BBC1 as I couldn't bare to watch the little scrotes on 'Educating Essex' again!! Then I watched 'Big Brother' & 'Big Brothers Bit On The Side' before having an early night at 12midnight (Calories consumed 2,070 whoops)

Friday 7th October, I got up at 6.30am, had a wash & dressed the same as yesterday morning. Then I made myself some porridge with honey, plus a coffee for breakfast. Then headed out into a very, very, windy day, for my 2hr power walk. This is when hoodie designs annoy me!! They need a wedge like chink removed, out of the edge, of each side, as with just one gust of wind, it blows off your head! So you either have to constantly hold down the front, as you walk along, or put a cap on top of the hood, or safety pin it together, under your chin. Why can't they cut a pattern for a snug hood? We either get hoods unusable when its windy (The only time a hood is of use or needed) or the drawstring one's that look ugly!! (I pinned it with a safety pin, on the inside so not visible) 

I had my power walk, then posted off a cheque for my gas bill & my friend Candie's birthday card. Then I popped to the shop & got a Sun newspaper. The news headline was worse than yesterdays "Corrie Kevin Quizzed On, 'Rape Of Girl, 6' Le Vell 'in shock' at accuser's claim" Apparently the girl accusing the Corrie star, has told cops he raped her when she was 6yrs. The actor was said to be in a state of shock!


Welsh slapper Imogen Thomas (Above) is fuming over Katie Price & Danny Cipriani's night of passion together, as she thought she was Danny's girlfriend!! You'd of thought after her her experience, with married Ryan Giggs, the stupid slapper, would of kept her legs closed, when it came to celebrity sportsmen!! Stupid girl!!

There was a bit on 'The Xfactor' twist (Which was announced on Twitter & Facebook last night!) The twist is 4 of the 16 will be axed at the weekend, leaving 12. There will be no public vote's, the 4 judges will make the decisions based solely on the nights live performance! Hopefully Kitty & Frankie will be 2 of the 4! But somehow I doubt it!!....

Snow & winds of up to 70mph yesterday, confirmed our Indian summer is over before it began. Yeah it was another windy day today & very cold, felt like putting the heating on, but resisted! Luckily the snow yesterday when I was in London was over before it began. Talking of frosty, Amanda Knox father said she has been getting hate mail & hate phone calls, he also confirmed Amanda is set to write her memoirs (Great a murder gets off on a technicality & then makes money from it!) On the very unlikely chance she wasn't involved...... she was still, one cold bitch!!

Home owner, Malcolm White 62, who shot a raider, may have done so trying to protect his secret cannabis factory. Police called to the drama, stumbled upon a "Big Drugs Operation" at the isolated country house. The watchmaker fired the shotgun after catching to burglars at his home, on Wednesday night. He hit one in the leg & Mr White was arrested on suspicion of attempted murder (If he is a drug dealer, he won't be getting the same understanding, as other homeowners, that actually killed the vermin in their homes)

Meanwhile another example of the lack of justice in Britain, comes with the obscene story of how a prisoner charged with murder, attacked a warden, John Brown, causing him to end up in hospital with horrific injury's after being headbutted by the thug!! Yet it's John who gets punished, and is fired by the jail for assault, WTF?  Yet the prisoner had no action taken against him for his brutal assault on John (Again WTF???) No doubt the criminal scum will be trying for compensation, quoting human rights!!! Maybe John Brown should try using the human rights bill!!

I collected up the dry, black, washing that had been hanging to dry round the house. Then I did the washing up, I also did a load of job searches & then was asked by DJ Allan Turner Ward, to feature on his Radio Show on 'The Bay' Radio Station, 102.8FM as their 'Strictly Come Dancing' Expert because of my blog on the show!! Which you will find on this blog site. He said he will call me at around 3pm Sunday, so to be by a phone between 3-4pm. That's handy I can use the pod cast for my audio on StarNow. Did a load of job searches & then took the last eBay item I sold to the post office in a large box. Then went to my bank as two payments of £1.95 had been taken out by a company I'd never heard of & that I had not sanctioned! Just after that, while buying some fresh soup in Tesco for dinner, my friend Simon called me on my mobile at 12.30pm & we chatted for 10mins while I shopped.

I got in & fixed myself a yummy Butternut Squash, Honey & Basil soup & put it on tray with a small chocolate brownie, from the reduced cabinet in Tesco. Then took it upstairs & I tucked into them both, while watching 'Loose Women' then 'The New's' then I did some housework before settling down to watch 'The Real Housewives Of New York'  Which was as bitchy as ever!!... Shame I missed yesterday's episode, when I was at my ITV audition, I'd love to of seen the aftermath of Ramona's manic catwalk walk!!....  

I popped out to New York Nails, to get my nails cut down by 1cm as they are really long, and I had them painted a metallic gold, in a tribute to Jim & Irene's, Golden Anniversary. I got back in & did some more job searches for the rest of the afternoon. Then I watched 'Come Dine With Me' & the fab 'Home & Away' with a cup of coffee. I ironed some more clothes & put another white wash, in the machine. Then I sat & watched, the evening version of 'Come Dine With Me' while scoffing 4 Krisprolls & jalapeno & red pepper, humous, followed by another, small, chocolate, brownie & washed it down with a Diet Coke. 

Then it was time to watch 'Big Brother : Live Eviction' As expected Maisey went! Nobody in the house seemed that bothered, especially as Fay's busty, blond, wrestler, sister Jem, went in! (Their parents are obviously fans of 3 letter names!) I was contacted again by DJ Allan Turner Ward from 'The Bay' 102.8FM who'd asked to do a regular, spot on their Sunday show, talking about 'Strictly Come Dancing' based around my 'Strictly Come Dancing Critique'  which I post weekly. I updated my blog, after finalising arrangements for Sunday. I'd agreed to do it, as it is something more to add to my portfolio!! Which is all good!.... Plus I am sure it will also be a bit of a laugh, to do. You can click HERE to find out more about 'The Bay' 102,8FM

Then in between the two 'Big Brother' shows I watched, 'The Bachelor' Where the annoying squeaky, baby talking, Carianne is still in the running, proving men really do think with their dick, not brain & proving Gavin is all brawn & no brain! Gavin still wasn't sure, if the rumour that Carianne, had got off with a member of the film crew, was true, or not???? Errrr just ask the film crew member said to be involved....Job done!!! I watched the 2nd 'Big Brother: The Eviction Interview' Then 'Big Brothers Bit on The Side' before having an fairly earlyish night at 12.30am (Calories consumed 2,172 Whoops must get more food in from Asda, to stop eating crap!)

Saturday 8th October, I had a lay in & woke at 9.45am I'd had a odd dream, it had started off highly sexual, and I was having lots of rampant sex, with a handsome guy, who seemed to be my boyfriend. I think he might of been famous. I seemed to be acting in a musical film, and I got bumped up, from a small role, to a much bigger main character. I was wearing a black outfit with a Bright Emerald coat, Which I had owned years ago! I wonder what happened to that coat? It was a expensive top designer one! It's probably with the load of my stuff, that my old landlady 'Lisa Krekis' illegally took from me! By not letting me back in, her house, to collect the rest of my stuff, when I moved out (Including my Art & design portfolio, with over 5yrs of college work in it....... Bitch!!) I was singing on stage, and later I saw the film footage of it, with a friend & her kids, & the kids said I was disappointing! Then I woke!..

I got up and had a bath at 10.30am then I had an apple & a coffee for breakfast. I did a load of housework & put away dry/ironed laundry!! Then I had a Diet Coke break with a packet of Wotsits. I cleaned the inside of my windows & then caught up on my Blog & started my 'Xfactor Critique blog 2011' ready for tonight's show, to be added to it. Also getting my 'Strictly Come Dancing Critique 2011' blog, all ready to be updated  to be ready, for tonight's show. 

Later I had a light lunch of 4 Krisprolls & some jalapeno & red pepper humous, with a frozen banana to follow, washed down with a Diet Coke. Then in the afternoon I started getting ready to go to Nicky's parents (Jim & Irene) Golden Wedding Anniversary (50yrs) I had already got my nails painted metallic gold they look like gold Quality Street wrappers. I tried on my Lipsy, gold, sequined dress (As Nicky wanted everyone in gold) But my boobs look, just to big for it, at my present weight. In the end I decided on black top & jeans, gold neck tie, shrug & belt & black ankle boots by Patrick Cox I did my make up (With gold eye-shadow & gold glitter eyeliner) While watching 'Strictly Come Dancing' & jotting down notes for blog.

I put hair up & attached faux pony tail. Put on my floor length black military coat, and headed out to The Golden Anniversary Party. The nearest ATM, in town wasn't working, but I knew there was one outside Tesco's in Hatfield road, near the Conservative Club (Where the party is) So I headed off to Hatfield Rd. When I got to Tesco's their ATM was not working either!! FFS!! So I went into the Conservative Club (In case they did cash back, or took cards behind the bar!!...... they didn't!!) So I said hello to Nicky's parent's & brother, then I found Nicky, in the queue for the buffet along with her daughter Minnie. I got some buffet & sat down & ate it while listening to our friends band 'The Push' 

Then I popped my coat back on & headed to the train station, to the ATM there & drew out £10 there were two tall, stunning, well spoken guys, stood near the ATM by the taxi rank, who looked not dissimilar to ex public school, polo players.... Helloooooooo!!!

I went back to the party, and bought a double vodka & slimline tonic, at the cheap subsidized bar! Nicky said her cousin Adam, from the Scilly Isles, had the hots for me but to beware as he had a wife and kids (She needn't of worried, he was a nice enough guy, but despite him being an Aquarian, he wasn't my type!!) 'The Pulse' played a wicked mix of songs, including up to date numbers like 'Moves Like Jagger' I chatted to Nicky, her dad, her tailor uncle & her cousin Adam. Adam bought me a half of cider & we chatted most of the evening & later I got him a pint & myself another half of cider. I left at around 1am & walked home getting in at 1.20am in time to watch the repeat of tonight's Xfactor & then crashed out at 3.30am (Calories consumed, 1,946 Whoops!)

Sunday 9th October, I woke at 7.30am after a weird dream, where I went to a loo & locked three locks on the door but then the door vanished & someone was speaking to me, while I was sat on the loo going to toilet!... I had a wash shoved on my hot pink 'Juicy Couture' lounge suit, then I had 2 Krisprolls, with a banana mashed on them, along with an apple & a coffee for breakfast. I then updated my 'Strictly Come Dancing' & 'Xfactor' critique blogs, on this blog site, from the notes, that I wrote last night, before the party & in the wee hrs after the party! I worked solidly on that, then stopped for lunch at 1pm. I made a tuna & cucumber sandwich on granary bread, had with chilli crisps for lunch, washed down with a caffeine free Diet Coke. 

Later I went back to my blogs, doing some more work on the thus far unfinished drafts. Then at 3pm, I sat with the TV off, with both my home phone & mobile next to me, waiting for 'The Bay' Radio Station to call me to go on Air. I went on air around 3.15pm & had a bit of banter with the DJ Allan Turner! We chatted about the show, then when we finished & he'd put a record on, he said over the phone, that I did really well & how would I like to be a regular on the show? I said "I'd love to!" 


DJ Allan Turner

I did a load of laundry & housework, then at 6pm I watched 'The News' while eating a banana & drinking a Diet Coke. Then enjoyed the new series of 'Harry Hill's TV Burp'  Then at 7.30pm, I heated some fresh tomato & basil soup, for dinner & added some chilli to it, to give it a kick & help speed up my metabolism!! Then I watched 'The Xfactor' results show, before updating my 'Xfactor Critique' blog! I watched 'Big Brother', then 'Downton Abbey' on ITV +1, followed by 'TOWIE' on ITV2 +1 then it was time for bed at 12.30am, wondering what the following week has in store! (Calories consumed 1,620)

Sunday, 9 October 2011

Evil Barbie's 'Xfactor' Critique 2011



Well it's another year & another Xfactor Critique, I have to admit, I thought I was going to miss Simon & Danni (But Not Cheryl who had begun to bore me, both on & off the show!!) But I LIKE the NEW Xfactor judge line up! Especially Gary Barlow (And not just because he was the only member of Take-That that I ever fancied!) BUT the auditions left me cold, there was nobody shown, that really excited me, or stood out, or made me passionate about them being put through! In fact I was more passionate about what acts I didn't want to go through! Yet some of those, like Frankie still made it to judges houses & some even went on, to go onto the live shows! I thought Louie insane to put Goldie through (Unless he already knew the twist, that he had to evict one of his acts, after the 1st show & Just wanted one more manic performance from her before ejecting 
her!!??)


The NEW Xfactor Judge Line Up
Gary, Kelly, Tulisa & Louie


So I'm glad Sami got a 2nd chance, when Goldie pulled out (When she probably realised she'd be the Wagner joke of the show) I'm also NOT a fan of Frankie, Kitty, Craig, Janet or Micha B & I'm also indifferent to New Vibe, Jonjo, Rhythmix, 2 Shoes & Sophie. I like just Marcus, plus Johnny for the fun factor so far. I think John Wilding should of got through, as well as The Keys, but I'm pleased that Gary didn't put Luke in, after his awful performance at judges houses, just because of his 1st good performance. As it wouldn't of been fair! So who are the four groups & their mentor's?


Gary Barlow - The Boys 
  1. Frankie Cocozza - (I don't like, doubt I'll change my mind!!)
  2. Marcus Collins - (Good voice, I like!!)
  3. Craig Colton - (Totally indifferent, not sure he will change my mind?)
  4. James Michael - (Again totally indifferent, again not sure if he can win me round?)

Kelly Roland - The Girls
  1. Janet Devlin - (OK, if you like the Ethereal, Enya, Diana Vickers kinda thing!) 
  2. Misha B - (Don't like her, everything she has sang has left me cold, due to her  nasal whine hah hah's & bad rapping!!)
  3. Sophie Habibis - (Indifferent, we will see if she wins me over?) 
  4. Amelia Lily - (Good voice, only 16, it will be interesting to see how she does!)

Louie Walsh - The Over 25's 
  1. Jonjo Kerr - (Nice bloke, doesn't set the world on fire though!)
  2. Sami Brookes - (Good singer, I'm yet to decide if I'm a fan?) 
  3. Kitty Brucknell - (Can't stand her shouty singing, or her attitude, I have met her, no likeability, treats people like shit, Diva!)
  4. Johnny Robinson - (He can sing, but needs the right song, so not to seem a camp novelty/joke act, so unlucky to have Louie!)
Tulisa Contostavlos - The Groups 
  1. The Risk - (Newly formed, but seem promising, I will wait on giving a verdict!)
  2. Rhythmix - (The band dress awful & do nothing for me vocally!)
  3. Nu Vibe - (They leave me pretty indifferent!)
  4. 2 Shoes - (Fun, but I'm fairly indifferent so far!)
**************

The Xfactor 1st Live Show Begin's 
Saturday 8th October 2011

The Show Begins: The 4 judges enter the studio, Tulisa looks cute in a skin tight nude bandage dress, with blonded roots at the parting at the front. Kelly in a clingy long sleeved chocolate with a bold jungle like print in places, Gary looked handsome in a white shirt & a beige tweed, three piece suit, Louie wore a white shirt & black jacket & trousers. The twist is announced & also the theme 'Britain V America' The 1st of the acts are up, it's 16yr Amelia Lily for the girls....

1) Amelia Lily (The Girls) : Singing 'Billy Jean' Amelia looked cute in cut off denim shorts, a red 'Jacko' like leather jacket & strawberry pink rinsed hair, she came out confident & rocking the show, with a rockiness that belied her 16yrs, though she struggled on the high note on the word 'Kid' but I'm sure that could be down to the nerves of opening the show!! 

2) Johnny Robinson (Over 25's) : Singing 'Believe'  Which was camped to the max, as I knew Louie would do to Johnny. He came in in a giant glitter ball, in a silver. trench-coat (That I'd love) with big camp sunglasses. With male backing dancers in black & women dancing in silver bodystocking's. I like Johnny & he can sing, but that was the totally wrong song for him (Feared Louie would give him a song that would make him look a novelty act!) It was too high pitched the whole way through & sounded like a squeaky child, singing the Cher hit (Even Cher sang it lower) Disappointed.... Gary's comments were spot on!

3) Rhythmix (Groups) : Singing 'Superbass' Never heard this song before & I hope I never have to again (Bloody Awful!!) It started with a mish-mash of noise, that was some type of rapping the only bit of which I made out was their band name, followed by a lot of unpleasant noise where the words 'Super Bass' cropped up a lot so I'm guessing that's the songs title?? Bloody awful even worse than their clothes & that's saying something especially Jesy's clothes, that are always diabolical, and were revolting tonight!... So I was very flummoxed when all 4 judges (Including Gary) raved about them!!?.... Sorry Judges but to me it was a load of SHIT, that made me feel my ears were bleeding, Awful!!!

4) Frankie Cocozza (The Boys) : Singing 'The A Team' Never heard the song before & I didn't like it, after hearing Frankie sing it, so I'm not fussed on hearing the original! I'm not a Frankie fan, so he had to pull it out of the hat to win me round!!..... & he didn't!! I'm still not a fan, he was put in skinny red jeans, messy hair, guyliner & a black leather jacket, like a black version of Amelia's (Is the leather jacket going to be this Xfactor's equivalent of last years red lipstick on girls??) The judges raved over him, but Frankie left me cold with that performance. 

5) Sophie Habibis (The Girls) : Singing 'Teenage Dream' She was styled well, nice hair & make-up, white sleeveless top, with big padded shoulders & beige skirt with an angular peplum, she sang sat on a piano. Her voice was pleasant, but the performance was as beige as her skirt!! YAWN!!.... 

6) Jonjo Kerr (Over 25's) : Singing 'Ya Really Got Me' He came on in a maroonish, chocolate, mod looking suit with a sheen, with a black shirt. He did a up beat performance, though at  times his voice went from singing to shouting. OK nothing to shout about though! (No pun intended!!)   

7) 2 Shoes (Groups) : Singing 'Something Kinda Ooh' They started on stage in a Barbie pink car, with shirtless, black trousered, car wash dancers surrounding them, then they got out of the car, wearing  knee length, v-neck, long sleeved, black sequined dresses. They actually sang it well & surprised me, so they have upped their game & gone up in my estimations (The 1st of the ones that I don't like, or am indifferent to, to do so thus far!) Well done girls.

8) James Michael (The Boys) : Singing 'Ticket To Ride' dressed in the style, that stylists love to shove Harry from 'One Direction' in (Is it a curly hair thing?) A grey suit with matching small pork pie hat, and a multi coloured shirt that even, Alfie Moon, Magnum & Miami Vice would turn down, Poor Sod! He sang the song in a slow, monotonous, dreary way, that made me be in no hurry to hear again, unless to help me along if I felt suicidal! (I think he will be the boy Gary sends home, even though I want Frankie to go, I know Gary wont drop him!)

9) Micha B (The Girls) : Singing 'Rolling In the Deep' I'm not a Micha fan, so I was waiting for her to prove me wrong, as I love this song...... She didn't I HATED IT!!!... She sang, sat on a throne like chair, in a unflattering, ugly dress, that seemed to be made out of newspaper. It made he look 4st heavier, than she actually is, she also had a stupid mini crown, to the side of her head & red shoes. She sang, looking like a demented relative of the Queen of Hearts, in Alice in Wonderland. But the only wonder was that my ears were not actually bleeding! She Bellowed & shouted her way through the song & then there was a Rap that was more Crap, added to the song, ruining it!.... The only rapping she should do in the future is in Selfridges at Christmas time!! I would like Tulisa to vote her off, but I'm sure she wont! 

10) New Vibe (The Groups) : Singing 'Beautiful People' They came out all in shades of grey & white (Rather like One Direction did last year) But the leather was back in avengeance, leather jackets, waistcoats & gilet's etc etc blimey, did they get given a job lot of leatherwear, from a fashion house?? They sang together pretty well, but were noting special, the song didn't really showcase any singing skills. If Tulisa doesn't do us a favour & get rid of awful Rhythmix, I think New Vibe could Go!

11) Marcus Collins (The Boys) : Singing 'Move's Like Jagger' WOW at last a great singing voice & performance, he blew the competition out of the water with his voice!!! The 1st act to show true talent!! He has now become my favourite, with that 1st performance he deserves to go to the final & win!! I cant fault his performance...... But I can the outfit the stylists put him in!!!.... WTF were they thinking, black slimline jeans, white shirt, black bow tie (wtf?) & yep yet another 'Leather Jacket' a kind of Nutty Professor meets Micheal Jackson's 'Off The Wall' album.

12) Sami Brookes (The Over 25's) : Singing 'Free' The evil stylists did what they did to poor Mary last year! Because of Sami's ample figure they put her in loose black trousers, a shapeless tent like black top, that actually made her look bigger than she is! Plus a bronze sequined jacket, which was a cropped jacket, so also added girth at her smallest area her waist (SACK THE STYLIST!!) The make-up was also to harsh for her & made her look in her 40's not 31!! All that working against her aside, She sang a great vocal & if Louie lets her go again, he is a tosser!!


13) The Risk (The Groups) : Singing 'She Said' Dressed in shades of grey & black just like 'Nu Vibe' were but without all the leather, this time! They sang the 'Plan B' song well & were far superior to all of the other groups & serious contenders to 'Nu Vibe' (As Tulisa wont drop the girls!) I think if Tulisa doesn't drop '2 Shoes' she will now drop 'Nu Vibe' after this performance by 'The Risk' 

14) Craig Colton (The Boys) : Singing 'Jar Of Hearts' The stylists made him look drab, in helmet hair, black jeans/trousers, black T-shirt & jacket Yawn!! (If your a bit chubby & on Xfactor, you get cloaked in black, by Xfactor stylists) I'm not a fan of Craig, so he needed to win me round! The fact his song, is one that I'm not that keen on, by it's original artist, didn't help. It was OK in parts & high & squeaky in othe parts, it didn't blow me away, in fact if Gary doesn't drop James, Craig could be in danger. 


15) Kitty Brucknell (Over 25's) : Singing 'Who Want's To Live Forever' Not me if it means I have to listen to that awful cacoffiny, ever again!! Bloody Awful!! She screeched & shouted it the whole way through!! The make-up artist obviously hated her to make her look uba ugly!! Her foundation was as pale as her platinum hair, with no make-up other than plumb glitter covering her eye area & eyebrows, emphasizing her large forehead, that without a fringe made her look quite *Klingon like (* Star Trek) She stood on a platform surrounded by hazard lights (It was missing the sign Toxic Load) She stood their ungainly with legs spread akimbo, in a grey & black bodice topped strapless dress, with a raggedy hem, long at the back short at the front. She was bloody awful, she should go tomorrow, but Louie will probably dump Jonjo!


16) Janet Devlin (The Girls) : Singing 'Fix You' The stylists had got hold of her and dyed her hair a bright ginger & shoved in a hippy-fied 70's kaftan/smock as a mini dress, so she looked like a cross between 'Girls Allowed's' Nichola Roberts & Florence from 'Florence & The Machine' (Do stylists have no original ideas these days?) The song suited her warbley reedy voice, but I'm not a fan. 


So that's the end of the 1st show, only enjoyed 3 performances last night Marcus, The Risk & surprisingly 2 shoes. I am also wondering if Xfactor has been sponsored by 'World Of Leather' ?? There were more leather jackets/gilet's on the show than at a 'Harley Davidson' convention!! It was as bad as the apparent 'Max Factor' red lipstick promo, on last years show!!! So I'm going to start a leather jacket count for this season... 


This Weeks Leather Jacket Count: 7 (Excluding Backing Dancers!)


Right so NOW its down to the mentors to dump one of their acts, who will they chose? My predictions below!!.....


Gary Barlow - The Boys 
Much as I'd like to get rid of Frankie, I think either Craig or James will go & my money is on James


Kelly Roland - The Girls 
I'd get rid of Micha B, or Janet, but I think Kelly will boot out Sophie 


Louie Walsh - The Over 25's 
Johnny sang badly due to a poor song choice, but gay Louie loves a camp act, I'd love him to dump Kitty, but knowing Louie he wont!! So it will be Jonjo as the public will lynch him, if he screws Sami over again!


Tulisa Contostavlos - The Groups 
I HATE The Rhythmix, but she wont drop the girls, 2 Shoes are at risk, but think that Girl Power loving Tulisa, may save them. So she only has one choice, to dump the worst boy group, which is Nu Vibe!!


Well that's my prediction, lets see how close I am?!!....




The Results Show Sunday 9th October 


The Show Begins : The judges enter, Kelly in a jaw-droppingly gorgeous, long white gown (I'm well jell) Tulisa in a sequined gunmetal/bronze shift, which doesn't flatter (Bad stylist) Gary in a black suit & white shirt (Undo the top button if your not going to wear a tie Gary) Louie in a aubergine suit & a plumb shirt & tie. Looking very stressed, he knows he won't make a popular decision with the public. 


After a bit of VT filler of the contestants, it was Matt Cardle & his new single... I can't say it excited me! I can't even recall how it went a few minutes later! Then after more waffled filler, Cee Lo Green, performed. He was OK when he sang 'Forget You' but it would of been better, if he'd sung just that, the whole way through & not as a medley, with another track that was not so good! 


Then it was time for the judges, to say who they were dropping!!


Louie Walsh (Over 25's) - As I predicted it was Jonjo


Gary Barlow (The Boys) - As I predicted James 


Tulisa Contostavlos (The Groups) - Not right with 2 Shoes I thought they were in danger, but may have  survived, due to her love of girl power talk, and she'd dumped Nu Vibe instead. 


Kelly Roland (The Girls) - I was VERY surprised she chose Sophie over Amelia As her performance was boring, unlike Amelia's (I think she made a BIG mistake there!!!) 


Oh well that's it, until next weeks show, at least WE can vote people off from then on!!....


**************

The Xfactor 2nd Live Show 
Saturday 15th October 2011




The Show Begins: The 4 judges enter the studio, Tulisa looks cute in a long black & white print dress (It's print looked not unlike a tyre mark) long at back but short at the front, with a up hairdo in a bun. Kelly looked sexy, in a clingy, knee length, bright red dress. Gary was in a pail grey shirt buttoned up fully (Either open a button or wear a tie Gary!!) & a mid grey suit, Louie wore a white open necked shirt & slate grey suit. 


The theme is  'Love & Harmony' The 1st act is up, it's Nu Vibe for The Groups.... Let's hope they have improved, I expected them to go after last weeks performance...


1) New Vibe (The Groups) : Singing 'With Or Without You' They came out all in shades of grey, black & white (AGAIN sort it out stylists!) with the only exception being, one emerald & one royal blue t-shirt, plus one white pair, of converse boots & also one pair of red, converse boots (Yawn) a black leather jacket, also sneaked in again!  They sang together in a average, boring way, they were nothing special. Stood on cube podiums while dancers danced round them. Again the song didn't really showcase any singing skills. I thought Tulisa had bollocked them to get their act together? If so they didn't listen!!  Yawnsville & in danger again this week. 

2) Sami Brookes (The Over 25's) : Singing 'I Will Always Love You' The stylists gave Sami some colour in the form of a long, teal green, dress, but it was a bit fussy around the chest area, and flattened rather than flattered her large bust, then they added a silver lurex knitted shrug, that only emphasized how beefy & chunky her arms are! They also added a rather boring silver necklace that wasn't the right shape for the dresses neckline/fussy chest area, so again I have to say (SACK THE STYLIST!!) The make-up was improved though, as was her hair. She sang a decent vocal, but it was a bit working mans club, come cruise ship! Kelly said she felt the pain in the words Sami sang, saying "Who hurt you?.... Who is he?" Err that would be "Who is She!!" Kelly Sami is a lesbian!


3) Craig Colton (The Boys) : Singing 'Best Thing I Never Had' The stylists had continued to make Craig look drab, with the same awful helmet hair, also they styled him, in a similar look, to last weeks, the black jeans/trousers, became burgundy jeans. The black T-shirt, was back again, but a v-necked one this time. Plus the black jacket, became a black leather one (Again more leather jackets Yawn!!) I didn't recognise the Beyonce song (Or at least I didn't recognise Craig's version of it) I can't say I liked the song & felt indifferent to Craig's performance! 

4) Janet Devlin (The Girls) : Singing 'Can't Help Falling In Love With You' The stylists put her in a ugly bell skirted beige & black print, mini dress, with a wide black elastic belt, and black lacy tights that fought with the print of the dress & looked a mess (Get your act together stylists) But the pale subtle make-up was pretty. Voice OK if you like the warbling ethereal thing (Which I don't particularly) in fact, personally I found it bland and boring, rather like the beige background of her dress.... 


5) Frankie Cocozza (The Boys) : Singing 'The Scientist' I'm not a Frankie fan, and last week he didn't win me round!!..... He was put in bloody awful, skinny, pail grey, jeans, with a low hanging crotch, that made it look like he'd filled his colostomy bag! The same messy hair, no guyliner this week, a two tone grey T-shirt (Xfactor's stylists love grey!) Plus a slate grey tailed jacket which was short at the front & had some spiky studs on his left shoulder, which just didn't come together as a look! Singing wise, I didn't like his voice at all!! He started off with just whispered talking, with a bit of light shouting thrown in (Bloody Awful) The performance was a bore & sounded strained at times. I recon if it wasn't for a girly teen fan base, he'd be out tonight! Gary said he did a good job, which I find hard to believe was genuine, as his face did not look happy at the judges desk, as Frankie sang, in fact he looked angry & like he was thinking "Shit we've blown it!"

6) Johnny Robinson (Over 25's) : Singing 'Can't Get You Out Of My Head' Which 'yet again' was camped to the max. He came in dressed as a cross between a Samurai & a Geisha, with naff black eyeliner. Bare chested, male backing dancers, with black martial arts baggy trousers & women dressed like Geisha's in mini kimono's. I like Johnny, and he can sing, when given the right song. But tonight he started off weak, singing out of time, with the music/song. He got back into his stride mid song. But yet again, instead of showing off Johnny's singing ability, Louie has cruelly turned him into a novelty, comedy act!   


7) Marcus Collins (The Boys) : Singing 'Russian Roulette' His styling was better this week (To be honest, it couldn't of been much worse than last weeks!!) He wore a dark grey suit (Xfactor stylists love grey!) & a white fully buttoned shirt (Open the top button or add a tie stylists!! And not a bow tie!!) He sounded a little nervous to start with, but the song is about being terrified. But his voice was soon back to his top standard, in my view the best performance of the night so far!!... 

8) Rhythmix (Groups) : Singing 'I'm Like A Bird'  I guess they are, if that bird is an ostrich, that's being strangled!!! Yet again they looked bloody awful, in a hotch-potch of ugly outfits, that looked like the aftermath of an explosion in a charity shops reject bin! Apart from a semi harmonious chorus, yet again it was another cacophony, of abysmal, ear bleeding, noise.... 

9) Micha B (The Girls) : Singing 'Would I Lie To You' I'm STILL not a Micha fan!! The stylists showed their lack of creativity, by styling her as Grace Jones, if Grace Jones had binged on carbs. With a carbon copy, Grace Jones hair style & a purple, foil look 90's jumpsuit, with huge padded shoulders & leg of mutton sleeves, with a plunging v-neck to the waist, with draped harem style trousers to the jumpsuit, with black waistband & lapels that look cut from Formica!! She looked like a Purple Quality Street Chocolate! Same old shouty performance & I think she has been having rapping lessons from Big Brothers Arden!!...

10) The Risk (The Groups) : Singing 'Just The Way You Are' Dressed in shades of grey & black just like last week & just like 'Nu Vibe' (Again) but with a hint of lilac, this time! Plus one, black, leather jacket ( just like Nu Vibe) Sat in a row on stools, Boyzone style, with violinists playing behind them. A boring, lack luster, performance, inharmonious except for the finish! They could also be in danger, though the judges seemed to love them? The sound in the studio, must be better than on the TV!!...

11) Sophie Habibis (The Girls) : Singing 'Wherever You Will Go' She was styled well, nice hair & make-up, lovely bright red capped sleeved, knee length dress, rather like, Kelly's, long sleeved one tonight! She looked really good. BUT the song did not suit her voice at all! She sounded strained, off key & shouty! It was a rather horrible noise, No Likey!!!...

12) Kitty Brucknell (Over 25's) : Singing 'It's So Oh Quiet' The make-up artist, has made her look, super ugly again!! Yet again her foundation was as pale as her platinum, Alice 'Through The Looking Glass' wig, with black Alice band. They gave her no make-up other than glitter, covering her eye area & eyebrows (Again!!!) So she looked demented as well as ugly! Despite not liking her as a person (Due to her Diva behaviour, when hired as a Britney tribute act, for the launch of my friend Linda's talent agency) She sang Bjork's song pretty well, and worked the Mad Hatters tea party, themed set well! Although she wore a short floaty white dress, not a powder blue one like Alice! Do they have a thing for Alice in Wonderland in the props dept? As Micha B was done up like the 'Queen Of Hearts' last week!



This Weeks Leather Jacket Count: (Excluding Backing Dancers!) Down 4 from last weeks

Alice In Wonderland styling: 2 (1st wk Micha B, 2nd wk Kitty)

So that was the end of the show & all 12 have done their bit, I think that Nu Vibe are in danger again, and may be in bottom two & go tomorrow. In my view the worst of each category is as follows. 
  1. Groups - Nu Vibe (With Rhythmix a close 2nd) Awful!
  2. Boys - Frankie Cocozza (Dire beyond words!)
  3. Girls - Sophie Habibis (With Micha B a close 2nd) Awful
  4. Over 25's - Sami & Johnny dead heat (Due to bad song choices for Johnny& Sami!)

The Results Show Sunday 16th October 

The Show Begins : The judges enter, Kelly in a jaw-droppingly gorgeous, long black gown, with a plunging translucent black V-front & also translucent inserts at the hips (Not dissimilar to the body stocking Cheryl Cole wore on 'Fight For This Love' music video, her hair & makeup looked stunning too!! Tulisa in a Ivory mini dress with a bell skirt & covered in pearl beading, which was very doll like, worn with up-swept hair. Gary in a slate grey tuxedo like three piece suit, with black lapels, buttons plus a matching black tie & white shirt. Louie in a slate grey suit suit & white, open neck shirt. 

The Finalists do their group song which was 'I Just Came To Say Hello!' Which they all sounded good to, because it was obviously an auto tuned recording, which some of the acts mimed poorly to! After a bit of VT of the contestants, plus clips of their performances last night, it was that bloody awful & ugly boyband 'The Wanted' & their new single... I can't even remember what it was called, seconds after they finished, it was so bad! I can't even recall how the tune went??! Then after more waffled filler, Katy Perry, performed. She sang some bloody tuneless, boring country number, which also so underwhelmed me, that I also can't recall the name of or the tune!

The two finalists with the lowest public votes, were unsurprisingly, the awful Nu Vibe & the atrocious Frankie! 1st to sing Nu Vibe....

1) Nu Vibe - Sang 'Promise This' - They were Bloody Awful, it's as if they had resigned themselves to going home, when up against the popular with school girls, Frankie. And couldn't be arsed to even try and save themselves, abysmal! Twitter was awash with loads of people slating them & saying much, the same as me, except for my friend Ian Mann, who for reasons, that I simply can't comprehend, loved them & their performance!!?

2) Frankie Cocozza - Sang (I Have No Idea - as I didn't recognise it) Whatever it was, he sang it bloody awfully, I thought he was so bad, that he even gave the atrocious, half arsed effort, by Nu Vibe, a small chance of clawing their way back into the competition. It was droning, and tuneless, with no melody (Which was ironic when the theme tonight was love and melody) it sounded like some kind of funeral dirge!! AWFUL!!

Bloody hell, seeing they were both singing to be saved, both were so bloody awful, they both deserved to be booted out!! Gary Voted to save his own act Frankie, but you could see by Gary's face on both of Frankie's performances, that he wasn't impressed (No matter what Gary actually said on the show!) 

Kelly Saved Frankie, Tulisa of course saved her own awful group, but it was Louie that sealed the rubbish Nu Vibes fate when he saved Frankie. So after a fairly rubbish two shows, stretched over the weekend, the acts better up their game before the public, turn over & watch something else!

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The Xfactor 3rd Live Show 
Saturday 22nd October 2011

The Show Begins: The 4 judges enter the studio, Tulisa looks sweet in a long black & thick metallic, silver chain covered, halter neck, look, sleeveless dress. With a cut out at back from just below bra clasp level, down to her waist, with a up hairdo in a bun, again. Kelly looked sexy, in a clingy, leather, mini dress, with a full skirt. Gary was dressed much the same as last week, in a pail grey shirt, but with a black tie (Did you pay attention to last weeks blog Gary??) & a mid grey suit. Louie was channeling Robert De Nero in 'Casino' all in black, black suit, black tie & black shirt. 


The theme is  'Rock Week'  I wonder if they chose the theme this week, so that the stylists can use that stockpile of Leather Jackets, plus their job lot of  grey & black clothes, they appear to have in their stylist wardrobe!!? At least they will find it hard to slip in a Alice In Wonderland theme, this week!!..... Or will they?...The 1st act is up, it's Marcus for The Boys.... 

1) Marcus Collins (The Boys) : Singing 'Are You Gonna Go My Way' His styling got worse again this week!! A pair of black leather skinny jeans & a oversized white T-shirt full of holes, plus baseball boots, with a sharks fin hairdo is NOT a 'Rock' look!! He sang well, but to be honest, it was a bad song choice, as it didn't showcase his singing ability!! But I'm sure there will be much worse performances & he will be safe this week.... 

2) Janet Devlin (The Girls) : Singing 'Sweet Child Of Mine' The stylists put her in a all in one, black lace body stocking with legs, with a pair of black denim shorts on top & a black feathered sort of cape/collar that looked not unlike an African tribe collar. The look was certainly NOT 'Rock' Note to stylists (All Black does not = Rock) The hairdresser must of been influenced by 'The Maid' from 'The Rocky Horror Show' Judging by the bloody awful, frizzy, backcombed, crimped, mess, on Janet's head. But the pale subtle make-up was pretty. A classic Rock Anthem, ruined by Janet turning it into, an ethereal sounding, ballad, YAWN..... it's Rock week, the artists are meant to show their versatility, not change it into, their same old bland dross, she sounded like a timid, infant, school girl, singing. 

3) Sami Brookes (The Over 25's) : Singing 'If I Could Turn Back Time'  A bad song choice from Louie, another song that is often sung at a Karaoke and better than Sami did tonight, thanks to the songs arrangement, which made it less rocky & more cruise ship performer, which seems to be the area Louie intends to launching Sami towards when the show is over! The choice of song, did nothing to show off, her vocal talent, to it's advantage. But on the plus side, the stylists actually gave her a 'Rock' look that suited her & for once the stylist didn't make her matronly! In fact the knee length, black dress, with a full faux leather skirt, a cross front bodice, with sheer black sleeves & one, right, padded shoulder with studs & chains hanging from it, with studs in & a studded waist band, actually made her look thinner, than the tent jobs of the past 2 weeks. That said, she could of done with Spanx, or having her tights/knickers pulled up higher, up to the level of, her princess line, dresses waist band. As in certain light, in some angles she had a double belly look, showing through the faux leather skirt part! Due to the band of her tights or knickers cutting into her tummy!

4) Rhythmix (Groups) : Singing 'Tik Tok' Yet again they looked bloody awful, in yet another hotch-potch of ugly day-glow outfits, that looked like the aftermath of an explosion in 1980's fancy dress box! After which there was a black out & they just picked up bits off the floor & put them on in the dark. The Perspex boxes from last year were back, edged in different neon colours, with a acid/neon cube design, moving about on a back screen. The Song, The Boxes, The Backdrop & Their Outfits, were NOT even 2% 'Rock' & they made no attempt, to sing it in a 'Rock' style! So for it was a fail for me, even before we get to their below average singing! At best it was a, badly harmonized, sickly sweet, girly POP SONG!! Much as I Hated their last two performances, at least their last two performances were more 'ROCK' than their performance on 'Rock Week' Most odd!... Kelly was spot on when she said the girl group, needed help with their styling!!... They look bloody awful!!...

5) Sophie Habibis (The Girls) : Singing 'Living On A Prayer' Lets start with the positives! She was styled well, nice hair & make-up, the stylist's, watered down, Rock Look, suited her. Which was, wet-look black leggings, with a silver bullet belt, a two tone grey print vest top & the 1st of the much loved (By Xfactor stylists) leather jackets (Surely more are yet to come, judging by the past weeks on Xfactor) Her hair & make up was nice too (No doubt due to Kelly's interference, with the make-up artists, as reported in some of the latest magazines & newspapers... Good for you Kelly, you go girl!!) Now lets move on to the singing, yet another Rock Anthem ruined, by being turned into a yawnfest, of a indie style ballad! So for me she failed to deliver & she screeched on some of the higher notes! 

6) Craig Colton (The Boys) : Singing 'Stop Crying Your Heart Out' The stylists continued to dress Craig in the same uniform, they put him in every week! The same awful helmet hair, this time with some dodgy attempt at a flicked up at the end, quiff fringe WTF were they thinking? The burgundy jeans, became black ones again! The black T-shirt, became a white one this time, with some printed logo that you couldn't see. Plus the black leather jacket was back from last week again! To me the song is a Indie song NOT a 'Rock' song, and he didn't rock it up when he sung it either!! Instead he produced a ballad performance, his voice was good, but it WASN'T 'Rock' & with nothing visually stimulating on stage either, it fell flat, for a 'Rock' week! Disappointing, he may be in bottom two tomorrow, for that same old stood on the spot, lack luster performance. Along with Rhythmix, who deserve to be.


7) Kitty Brucknell (Over 25's) : Singing 'Live & Let Die' The make-up artist, made her look less ugly this week, with OK make-up with the only novelty being, two black fabric strips either side of her eyes with small white pearl beads on, not dissimilar to the look of 5 of 9, from 'Star Trek Voyager!!' Yet again her foundation, was as pale as her platinum hair, that was pulled back tight, in a Croydon face-lift, with a faux ponytail attached & piled up high & then bound in black, quite similar to Madonna during her sex/erotica period & a tad Lady Gaga. She wore what looked like skin tight trousers & a cropped tuxedo jacket from the front, but was a jumpsuit with a sheer lace back with a few pearl beads dotted on it (Like her eye pieces) She started off at a black grand piano, and to her credit with the aid of pyrotechnics, she put on a good dramatic show. But she still tends to ungainly stomp around the stage, like a cart horse! She also has a tenancy to shout a song as opposed to singing powerfully! But so far, it was her best performance, thanks to showmanship, with last weeks a close 2nd.

8) Frankie Cocozza (The Boys) : Singing 'Rocks' I'm still not a Frankie fan, and last week he deserved to go, as he was bloody awful!!..... Before he came on, I knew the predictable, boring, stylists, would shove him in skinny jeans, T-shirt & leather jacket. To make him look the 'Rock Star' He thinks he is, but is actually a million miles away from being!! The performance started with a B&W video of the talentless, cocky upstart, walking to the stage, from back stage & then he strolls out onto the transparent Perspex platform, with clear Perspex steps down onto the stage. As I expected, he was put in the same old uniform, of black skinny jeans, with a bullet belt. The same messy hair, a two tone grey t-shirt AGAIN!! Plus week one's leather jacket! Song wise, he got a up tempo 'Rock' song, & put in a more animated performance, with a lot of posturing (As he thinks he is better than he actually is) The thing is, he has the 'Rock Star' attitude, but he just doesn't have the singing talent, to go with it!! It was better than his past two, performances, but then again he'd of had to go some, to have been any worse! Better but still boring, he might of saved his tattoo'd arse this week though! I was Glad Gary admitted he'd lied last week, when he praised Frankie's performance, and admitted he was awful last week (I knew by Gary's face last week, as he sat watching him from the judges desk, that he was far from happy, with the woeful performance, from Frankie!)

9) The Risk (The Groups) : Singing 'Crazy' Dressed surprise, surprise, in shades of grey & black just like EVERY week. Plus one, black, leather jacket, one fabric jacket in a biker jacket style, one jacket with leather sleeves & one jacket with leather lapels. Bland, boring, styling as ever, but out of their 3 weeks, in shades of grey attire, this is probably the best, clothes wise! They stood in a row & they sang 'Crazy' that is NOT a 'Rock' song!! They sang it same way as Cee Lo Green does, they made no attempt, to make it sound 'Rock' by rocking it up a notch! Their voices were good & in tune, but they & Tulisa let me down, as this was certainly NOT a 'Rock' performance!...

10) Johnny Robinson (Over 25's) : Singing 'I Believe In A Thing Called Love' For once Louie listened to Gary & didn't put him in some joke costume. He also didn't give him a joke of a song. Johnny came on stage instead, in a shiny silver suit, with thin black stripes, a black shirt & his glasses. The glasses didn't go with the 'Rock' theme & the stylists should of, got him to wear contact lenses & ruffled up his hair with some product, like hair putty!! His song was a 'Rock' number, and although he started off sounding nervous & a tad off key (Like he did with the Kylie number) he soon got in his stride & I think it was his best live vocal performance to date! The crowed obviously agreed as he got a standing ovation!...


11) Micha B (The Girls) : Singing 'Purple Rain' As I'm STILL not a Micha fan, I awaited her performance to see if she would sway me?? The stylists showed their lack of creativity, yet again, by styling her tonight as Tina Turner, in 'Mad Max, The Thunder Dome'. So I was expecting a Tina Turner & not a Prince number. So far she has been the Queen of Hearts, Grace Jones & now Tina Turner, with her hair pulled back tight like Kitty, with a big faux Afro ponytail added, or possibly done with her own hair. A black PVC mini skirt, black ankle boots, a black leather corset top & shoulder pads with long fringing or chains hanging from them. For me her best singing performance so far (partly due to the fact there was no rapping) But she like Kitty, still has the tendency to shout in the chorus, rather than actually sing with power! Funnily enough like me Louie also thought she was dressed like Tina Turner!...


This Weeks Leather Jacket Count: (Excluding Backing Dancers!) The same as last week. Plus 2 leather dresses (Kelly & Sami) & 1 pair of leather trousers (Marcus)

Alice In Wonderland Styling: 2  Since the show started (None This Week)


Diva Styling: 2 (Grace Jones - Micha B wk 2 / Tina Turner - Micha B wk 3)


Star Trek Styling: 2 ( Klingon - Kitty wk 1 / 7 of 9 - Kitty wk 2)

So that was the end of the show & all 11 have done their bit, I think that Rhythmix are in danger, and may be in bottom two & go tomorrow. In my view the worst four are as follows. 
  1. Groups - Rhythmix (Dire)
  2. Boys - Craig  Colton (Boring)
  3. Girls - Janet Devlin (Boring)
  4. Over 25's  - Sami Brookes (No recording artist, star quality)
Sophie Habibis is a close contender for 4th place, another rather boring performance, for the girls!! Kelly your getting the makeup right, but the girls are dull, dull, dull, performance wise! And they just didn't Rock 'Rock Week' But I think Rhythmix & Craig will be in the bottom two, with Rhythmix going, as Rhythmix are the worst vocally! But we will have to wait until tomorrow to see if I'm right!!

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The Results Show Sunday 23rd October

The Show Begins : The judges enter, Kelly in a jaw-droppingly Bad outfit!! (Kelly's 1st fashion faux pas since the show started!) It was a kind of tribal look shorts playsuit, with a black chiffon over-skirt, tied at the waist, open at the front. She'd of been better off in just the playsuit!! Tulisa came out in, a stunning sea green, long sleeved sequined, knee-length dress, that shimmered under the studio lights, with her hair down & bright red shoes. Gary in a slate grey three piece suit, with a matching shirt & a darker tone tie, that looks as if it may be velvet. Louie in a black tuxedo jacket, black trousers & white, shirt with a black tie. 



After a bit of VT of the contestants, plus clips of their performances last night, it was time for America's 'Kelly Clarkson' & her new single... 'Mr Know It All!' It was OK, but certainly nothing special!! I'd probably need to hear it a few times, for it to grow on me! Then after more waffled filler, 'Professor Green' performed. He sang some bloody tuneless, boring number, with some other bird. It so underwhelmed me, that I can't even recall the name, of this new single of his. Then it was Adverts & more fillers, before it was then Bruno Mars. I like some of his numbers, but although he put on a lively performance, in his bright red suit, black shirt & tie, I can't say I like the new single. He performed it well & yet now minutes later, I can't recall the tune, let alone the title!... 

The two finalists with the lowest public votes, were Sami (Which I half expected) and Kitty, who although I don't like as a person, I don't think she should have been in the sing off, especially when the awful Rhythmix were not & all of Kelly's girls performances, were so, soooo boring! So two of Louie's Over 25's acts are up! 1st up Sami...

1) Sami Brookes (The Over 25's) : Sang 'Natural Woman' A better song choice than Louie ever gave her!! But she wore a drab short, black, tunic dress, and thick black tights, with a bunch of chavy chains round her neck, plus lots of bracelets including a studded wrist band, and flat pumps. I am assuming she dressed herself today, if so, I'm assuming she wasn't expecting to be in the bottom 2! Otherwise surely she would of dressed up, for the judges to see her as a possible recording artist & future star!? She sang the song well, and proved she has a great voice, but does she have the Xfactor?.... In that drab ensemble... No! 

2) Kitty Brucknell (Over 25's) : Sang 'I'm On The Edge Of Glory' The make-up was better today (She probably did her own) & she was wig/hairpiece free. She sang a song that she'd sung before at auditions!! I guess she thought the words poignant, for her present singing for survival situation! She, unlike Sami, had pulled out the stops & dressed the part of a pop star. In a black, sheer, leotard, with big, black, Bridget Jones knickers over the top, with knee high boots, black tuxedo like jacket, with gold chains hanging like fringes from a band round her neck! She sang it well & for a refreshing change, she actually sang powerfully, rather than just shouted!! 

I think Kitty has saved herself, both sang well, but Kitty looked the part, Sami didn't (And not because of her weight, because of her bad choice of attire!!)

The Judges give their decision: Gary saved Kitty as was expected (As Louie's song choices for Sami, has planted Sami in Gary's mind, as a Cruise Ship singer!!) Kelly saved Kitty.... Tulisa then saved Sami (But I think she Knew that, if she didn't, Sami would have NO saves & then IF Louie did save Sami, it would be down to the public's vote!) Louie Saved Kitty (Not surprising as he originally dropped Sami in favour of Goldie & he would be too fearful to leave it to the public vote, as they might vote out, his potential cash cow, Kitty!) So Kitty lives to spook us for Halloween!!

*****************

Xfactor Upheaval:-  After Kelly Rowland fled the UK after both Tulisa & Louie had confrontations with her act Micha, on air..... I thought it was part of the Xfactor Drama Wheel.... Building up show tension (While Kelly was really busy with commitments she already ha booked in, before any ructions & she would be back!!.... 


Then on Friday 28th October, rumours were abound on Twitter, that Kelly had tweeted that she had a virus, that caused her doctor, to order back to LA (Hmmmm!?)  Now we hear, in the press that, she has pulled out of the Xfactor due to stress, less than 24hrs before the show starts tonight (Part of me then wondered, if the whole spat was engineered, so she could claim to have left due to stress, leaving the door wide open, for pretty bore & Simon Cowell's pet, Cheryl Cole!!) 


Today the rumour on Twitter is that Ex Xfactor winner Alexandra Burke will replace Kelly!! But the papers say it is actually Nichole Scherzinger, who has been rushed in to replace Kelly!!.... I guess we will have to wait until tonight to see which is correct!! 


The Fact is whoever it is, who has taken Kelly's place, they have lucked out, as they have inherited two bland girls & a bully who thinks she is a star, who does sod all for me! So I will be observing tonight's show with interest!! Awful Rhythmix have also had to change their name to Littemix due to copywriting!!  


*****************

The Xfactor 4th Live Show 
Saturday 29th October 2011

The Show Begins: The 4 judges enter the studio, Tulisa, in a leather zip front cat suit, with a low slung, round buckled belt, very Emma Peal from the Avengers, her hair was pulled back into a tight ponytail, with a pair of cat ears, on a hair band, plus a too too tight diamante choker necklace, that was giving her neck a muffin top at times!! Did Kelly do it up for her before she fled to LA??  Kelly's replacement Alexandra Burke, looked kind of frumpy with her center parted, flat curtain hair! Certainly looking older than in her early 20's. She was wearing a short translucent dress with white & black beading over a champagne coloured strapless, slip dress, the black beaded waist section, almost looked bat-like which may of been why she chose it. Gary was dressed in a Dark chocolate tuxedo like suit & even darker chocolate (almost black) shirt & tie. Louie was in his usual black suit & white open necked shirt, though his shirt seemed to have a silvery sheen tonight!

Kelly Stand in Alexandra Burke 



The theme is 'Fright Night'  Lots of opportunity's for the stylists to use the drab stockpile of  grey & black clothes, they have an endless supply of in their stylist wardrobe!!?...The 1st act is up, it's 'The Risk' for The Groups.... The (Shock??) News was that the ugliest 'The Risk' member 'Ashley', has  left 'The Risk' as he wanted to be a solo artist & not in a group! The Band chose to replace him with 'Ashford' from the kicked out, Xfactor band 'Nu Vibe' which should fit in well, as thanks to the Xfactor teams stylists you couldn't tell one boy group, from the other anyway!!.....

1) The Risk (The Groups) : Singing 'Thriller' Dressed surprise, surprise, in dark shades of grey & black just like EVERY SODDIN week. Plus with the 'Thriller' song they managed to push out three, of their much loved, black, leather jackets & one fabric jacket in a leather jacket style. The only escape from the Black/Grey fest was one white T-shirt & one plumb one!! They stood in a row & They looked more together as a group with two white & two black band members. They started off sounding very nervous at the start & I don't think it was on purpose, to tell the story of the song! They were not exactly harmonized either, but I will let them off this week, as they had a new member at the last minute!...

2) Johnny Robinson (Over 25's) : Singing 'That Old Devil Called Love' Not exactly a Halloween 'Fright Night' tune but it did contain the word Devil! Johnny came on stage, looking much as he did last week, in a shiny black suit instead of a shiny silver suit, with his glasses on again. His sang the song beautifully & it was definitely his best live vocal performance to date! The crowed obviously agreed as he got a standing ovation!... & Garry ran on stage to give him a hug & a kiss!!

3) Sophie Habibis (The Girls) : Singing 'Bang Bang' Lets start with the positives! She was styled well, nice make-up, red, brown & black eye-shadow, her hair in a Gaga like bow bun, with a heavy fringe, & a OK brocade looking short dress, with sheer top & sleeves that went down into fingerless mittens, with more brocade by the wrist area, with leather pads on the shoulders with studs & one long chain earring on her right ear, plus a shiny jeweled stick on spiders web, on the left of her neck. Even the song which is one of my favourite's, has a 'Fright Night' vibe of sorts! Plus she started sat on a throne of shirtless hot male dancers. Which is where the positives END!! She turned a moody slow song, into an even slower, depressing dirge, which you was willing to end soon, before you got the urge to shoot her down!!... Thank God, for the very kind, audiences applause, at the end, it woke me from my Sophie induced Comma!!


4) Marcus Collins (The Boys) Singing 'Very Superstitious' His styling was OK this week, except for the trousers!! A pair of black low crotch'ed jodhpur looking things, which tucked into his over the knee black leather boots made him look like he had a full nappy in there!! The rest was OK though a black vest top, with a black chiffon waistcoat, with a sort of hanging bustle at the back, under a dark green shot silk, shiny waistcoat, with a white frosted tipped quiff hairdo, black smudged eyes, necklaces & a black cane. The song had a nod towards Halloween & 'Fright Night' if not exactly what I'd call a 'Fright Night' song. His voice was great & he sang & danced round the stage with confidence, he is still my favourite voice wise!!

5) Micha B (The Girls) : Singing 'Tainted Love'  The Xfactor stylists, showed their total lack of creativity, yet again, by styling her once again tonight as Grace Jones, in a red dress with a full raggedy skirt & large Kylie-esque hood, looking like a big red sack of shit tied in the middle. Again they put her in something that made her look 4st heavier than she is, then they gave her Grace Jones Rhino horn hair coming out of the hood, which came down onto a lowish V-neck on the dress. The makeup dept also gave her a flattering mono brow. The song has NO Halloween, 'Fright Night' connection at all! She sang the main body of the song fare enough, then she ruined it as usual with some dire attempt at rapping, which was totally muffled, so you couldn't understand a word she said anyway, making the rapping even more pointless!! DIRE!

6) Janet Devlin (The Girls) : Singing 'Every Move You Make' The stylists put her in a long ivory 'Bride Of Frankenstein' dress. The hairdresser got the crimper's out & gave her a centre parting. The pale foundation was there as always, no lipstick & the same red, brown & black eye makeup as Sophie. The song has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with Halloween or 'Fright Night'  the only nod towards it, was the slight nod to Frankenstein's Bride, by the stylists & that was only a hint of a nod. She sat down as she droned out, another boring as F**k Ballardsounding like her balls were going to drop & her voice break, any moment!! God Janet & Sophie really are the borefest's of the show!!!


7) Frankie Cocozza (The Boys) : Singing 'Should I Stay Or Should I Go?'  As I'm still not a Frankie fan, the answer is Simple GO!!!!!.. Please just piss off!!  I'm Not Impressed Garry, there is absolutely NO Halloween 'Fright Night' vibe to that song, or to the scruffy little scrotes styling!! The talentless, cocky, upstart, came out walking down the stairs through the audience, where he was ether mauled by PAID audience members or those who should of gone to Specksavers!! He was dressed in black skinny jeans (As always) a white untucked white shirt, done up to the top, a black waistcoat, a black fringed fabric scarf & a red jacket with the lapels turned up & black eye-shadow! He sang the song OK but then anyone could, it's the kind of song people who can't sing well choose on Karaoke, as you don't really sing, wore talk in time with the music! He jumped around with 5 female dancers, in white basques & short white net skirts, who cavorted on a faux four poster bed!! (I suppose that was a slight nod to vampire orgy scenes, but sorry NOT 'Fright Night' enough Gary!!) 

8) Kitty Brucknell (Over 25's) : Singing 'Sweet Dreams' Yet again her foundation, was as pale as her platinum hair, but the smokey eyes & red lips were better than what they usually do to her. She was wearing a half black, half platinum, wig that was entwined in a twisted sort of side plait bun, She was styled in black leather/PVC trousers, tucked in over the knee black leather killer heeled boots, with a gold & multi coloured bustier, not dissimilar to Christian Lacrox, with pink fingerless leather gloves & a gold collar style necklace. Yet again the song & outfit had absolutely NO connection to Halloween or 'Fright Night' She started off on a big wheel, upside down & then strutted across the stage, she sang it well, but I was disappointed it was not a Halloween type song & I thought if anyone would go all out, for a spooky Halloween costume, it would be Kitty. So I felt let down, a homage to 'Cruella De Ville' wig is not enough for me!   

9) Rhythmix  NOW Littlemix (Groups) : Singing 'ET'  For once they didn't look bloody awful, in their quite cute doll like dresses!! Jesy looked a lot slimmer, which only goes to show, that shoving girls, in over sized, shapeless, baggy clothes, makes them look much bigger, than they actually are! Jesy's hair looked lovely too!! I quite liked their ghostly white Geisha/Doll like, face makeup, edged in black, in a spider web like outline, with red rosebud lips. The dresses were full skirted, with lots of net petticoat's nipped in at the waist, with wide elasticated belts, all but one dress was black, the other gold with a black print. They started sat in a row on trapeze like swings. The better clothes even seemed to make them harmonize better, as they sang the best they'd EVER sung, the song didn't feel Halloween'y though, I think that Tulisa cheated a bit, the title ET was the only real nod to 'Fright Night' & the clothes (Though miles better!!) were more 'Sugar Plumb Fairy' than 'Nightmare On Elm Street' BUT to give them their due, I think they for once were one of the better performers tonight!!

10) Craig Colton (The Boys) : Singing 'Set Fire To The Rain' The stylists continued to dress Craig in a outdoors, winter, bonfire night, version, of the same uniform, they put him in every week! The black T-shirt, was probably there hidden beneath the jacket. The usual dark jeans, looked like faded black. The black jacket was now a chocolate, slightly military looking, Donkey Jacket/Duffel Coat & his Lego hair was waxed into a 'Tin Tin' quiff! All he needed was some wellies & a felt hat & he would of looked like Paddington Bear! To me the song is 100%  NOT a Halloween 'Fright Night' song, whatsoever!! Just like the song he did for 'Rock Week' was NOT in any shape or form a 'Rock' song!! I was disappointed by both the styling & song choice for a Halloween show. His voice was good, he sang the song well, but the lack of 'Fright Night' in both song & styling distracted somewhat from that fact. As always he just stood stationary & sang the only visual's being flames on the big screens & water on the drums, making rain like droplets jump when hit.... Good performance, but failed the theme!! 

So that was the end of the show & all 10 contestants, have done their bit. I was so excited by the Halloween 'Fright Night' theme. As I love Halloween & was really ready, to get carried away, on the Spooky atmosphere, of the night!! So  I came down with a very disappointing, crashing, thud, there was hardly a nod to Halloween!! 


Xfactor you failed badly, 'Strictly Come Dancing' outclassed you 100%.... Their choices of songs were apt & exciting! The set, the costumes & the makeup & hair gloriously spooky!! I was really in the Halloween mood, after watching 'Strictly' until I turned over & 'Xfactor' quashed it!! At least Tulisa had made an effort, coming as a sexy 'Black Cat' Most of tonight performances disappointed, if keeping to the theme, kept them in, they'd all be gone! Only the song 'Thriller'  Was a 'Fright Night' song, but then the stylists FAILED Big Time!! To style them in a 'Fright Night' way. I think that The Girls are in danger, and may be in bottom two & one go tomorrow. In my view the worst four are as follows.... 
  1. Girls - Sophie (Dire, Comma Inducing)
  2. Girls - Janet (Boring as 'Hell' close as it got to 'Fright Night')
  3. Boys - Frankie (No 'Fright Night' theme & just talked in time)
  4. Girls  - Micha B (For the bloody awful rapping, that you couldn't work out, what she was rambling on about!!?)
Sophie Habibis, like Janet is a close contender for going , another rather boring performance, for the girls!! The dumb pubescent girls that fancy, munter, women disrespecting, Frankie will no doubt vote to keep the talentless twerp in. And for some reason some people seem to rate Micha B & her dire rapping, so my money is on Sophie or Janet going! Craig should be up, just for lack of theme in his song & styling, but at least he sang well!!


This Weeks Leather Jacket Count: (Excluding Backing Dancers!) The same as last week. Plus 1 leather catsuit (Tulisa) & 1 pair of leather trousers like last week (Kitty)


Alice In Wonderland Styling: 2  Since the show started (None This Week, like last week have they been reading my blog?)

Diva Styling: (Grace Jones - Micha B wk 2  & wk 4 / Tina Turner - Micha B wk 3)


Star Trek Styling: 2 ( Klingon - Kitty wk 1 / 7 of 9 - Kitty wk 2) No change this week!!

The Results Show Sunday 23rd October 

The Show Begins : The judges enter, Alexandra in a lovely body con, green & black, knee length dress, Emerald green at the top, black in the middle & a green, grass like, jungle print, at the bottom. Tulisa wore a long, Kimono like sleeved full-length dress, In a silver satin with a black print that shined under the studio lights, with her hair down. Gary in yesterdays chocolate tuxedo suit, with a white shirt & a dark chocolate tie. Louie in a black tuxedo jacket, black trousers & white, shirt with a black tie. 

After a bit of VT of the contestants, plus clips of their performances last night, it was time for Xfactor's runner up 'Cher Lloyd' & her new single... 'Some Shit With The Word Swagger In Again!' It was Bloody awful, I thought she was meant to be cool & street??? She was dressed as some kind of female harlequin doll. In a top & skirt in a garish harlequin diamond cheque, of yellow, red & green, cropped top with a big padded bow on the front, to hide the fact she is so thin she has no chest. With a short, full, matching skirt, that stuck out, due to lots of white net petticoats, with her stick thin legs encased in, white ankle socks, and flat lace up shoes on her feet. Her hair was done Katy Perry style & her makeup was far removed from the heavy Pikey slap she use to do! Then after more waffled filler, 'Nichole Scherzinger' performed. She looked stunning in a long, black, lacy dress, with a corseted waist. But sang some very disappointing number, which I can only assume is her new single, it so underwhelmed me, that I can't even recall the name of the song if it was mentioned? Then more fillers & then it was result time after the Ad break....

The two finalists with the lowest public votes, were Sophie (Which I had expected) and Micha (Who I thought could be in danger, for last nights performance as well as her supposedly bullying other contestants!! So two of Kelly's Girls acts are up! 1st up Sophie...

1) Sophie Habibis (The Girls) : Singing 'I have no sodding idea??' She looked nice in a short, long sleeved, boat necked, multi coloured, jersey dress, nipped in at the waist with, a wide cut out swirls, leather belt, ankle boots, lots of bangles & red henna'd hair!! The positives ended there, she sang awful, she was meant to be singing to be saved, but up against Micha B, who the judges often rave about, she seemed to throw in the towel & make no effort (Like Nu Vibe in their sing off the 1st sing off week!!) I have no idea of what she sang, I don't think I have heard it before? I certainly didn't recognise it the way she sang it!! I certainly don't want to hear it, if it's anything like Sophie's dire version!! Bye Bye Sophie don't think that's going to save you!!





2) Micha B (The Girls) : Singing 'Use Somebody'  The Xfactor stylists, showed their total lack of creativity, yet again, by styling her once again tonight as Grace Jones! With ugly topiary hair & a high necked, cap sleeved, tulip skirted dress, with leather trim, that did her body shape no favours, making her look fat & squat, a wide wrestlers/boxers looking belt & ankle boots. I LOVE the song 'Use Somebody' but not after Micha B had murdered it! Bloody Hell it was as if she couldn't be arsed either, it was like the 1st sing off with Nu Vibe & Frankie, when neither sang well or made an effort, to save their hides!! 


Micha B - Use Somebody 


Neither deserved to stay after tonight's poor sing off performance!! At least Sami & Kitty put their hearts & souls into singing for survival!!!.... Unlike these two!! But the judges were bound to choose Micha B! Because Sophie is a droning, dirge, bore, of a singer, and for some strange reason, they think dumpy Micha B's shouty singing & dire rapping, is sensational (Note to judges.... It's not!!)


So now it's down to the judges, decisions.... Louie predictably gets rid of Sophie & saves Micha B, Tulisa despite calling Micha B a bully last week, saves Micha & also dumps Sophie..... Next there is a live line to LA so Kelly Rowland (Who was doing her best "I can't come into work today!" sick voice) could decide which of her girls to save, so she's still a judge then? Why bother with the call? If they went to Gary it was obvious he'd chose Micha B, if he didn't they'd only need Kelly then to see if she'd take it to 'Deadlock' Kelly predictably chose to save Micha B!! So it was Bye Bye Sophie, even without Gary's vote, she was a goner & Gary said he would of sent home Comma inducing Sophie.... So that's it for this week! I wonder what theme they won't stick to next week????


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The Xfactor 5th Live Show 
Saturday 5th November 2011


The Show Begins: The 4 judges enter the studio, Tulisa, in a one sleeved, short dress, in black & a kind of dull ginger, in a sparkly Giraffe skin, print. Kelly was back & dressed in a lovely, long, flowing, bright red, gown. Gary was dressed in a light grey tweed jacket & waistcoat with a white shirt, black tie & black trousers. Louie was in his usual black suit & had gone back into Robert De Nero's role in Casino with his black shirt & tie too!!

The theme for the contestants to ignore as usual is  'Dance floor Classic's'  Will the stylists eventually give the contestants something colourful & attractive to wear?...... There is a double eviction tomorrow night, so that should make the singers up their game (I say should, but that's no indication that this bunch will!!) The 1st act is up, is 'Johnny' for The Over 25's.......

1) Johnny Robinson (Over 25's) : Singing 'Every Little Thing/ You Spin Me Right Round'  Typical Louie Walsh, he loves a Medley when he doesn't know what to give an act to sing!! Johnny came on stage, looking much as he did last week, but in a purple suit, instead of a shiny black suit, with his glasses on again, he also took styling tips from his mentor Louie too, as he wore a matching purple shirt & tie too!!. The Madonna song was a BIG mistake (It didn't suit his falsetto voice at all!!) He sang the 2nd song in medley well though, he suited Dead Or Alive's, You Spin Me Right Round, but I think the painful screeching of Madonna's number, may have put him in danger of being in the bottom 3 tomorrow!!

2) Janet Devlin (The Girls) : Singing 'One Bad Apple' The stylists put her in a crotch skimming white T-shirt with a Versace like gold print on the front, with no trousers, skirt, jeans, or even leggings underneath, just opaque black tights & a floor length sleeveless, loose, jersey, waistcoat like, white & black striped garment, over the top. What on earth were the stylists thinking??  Lets start with the positives...... Her hair looked lovely for once!!....... OK positives over!!! The song was a dance floor classic, but not the way her voice butchered it!! The only Jackson connection to her performance was the word BAD. Out of time, out of tune in parts & she mumbled in places, where she seemed to have forgotten the words.... Bloody Awful!! Even without hearing the rest, I feel she should be in bottom 3 & be one of the 2 that goes!!!


Janet - I  Wan't You Back
I Actually Don't Want Her Back 

3) Craig Colton (The Boys) : Singing 'Were In Heaven' The stylists continued to dress Craig in a version, of the same old uniform, they put him in every week! The white T-shirt, replaced the black one. The usual dark jeans, looked like dark navy/black. The black leather jacket was back & his Lego hair was waxed into the 'Tin Tin' quiff again!  To me the song was not really a 100%  'Dance Floor Classic' song!! His voice was good, he sang the song well, there is no denying he has a good voice! Shock horror for once he didn't just stand stationary & sing, he actually moved around the stage & danced (At last his static singing over the weeks, spoilt his Good performances!!) 

4) The Risk (The Groups) : Singing 'Night To Remember' Dressed surprise, surprise, in mostly black just like EVERY SODDIN week, with splashes of white in the form of 2 white shirts, 1 white T-Shirt, a black shirt with white panels & 2 pairs of white converse type baseball boots! Which didn't go with the white shits & ties at all!! (Somebody sack the stylists!!) Plus the stylists also managed to push out two, of their much loved, black, leather jackets!! They stood as usual in a row & They looked more together as a group, with the two white & two black band members. They sounded good they sung well & harmonised together well too!! But a shit bit of rapping slotted in the song, spoilt it (No doubt urban Tulisa's idea!!) They should be safe, if Frankie does his usual dire performance!! As Johnny & Janet were much worse!!


The Risk - Taking A Styling Risk, 
In Those White, Glowing, Baseball, Boots!!

5) Marcus Collins (The Boys) Singing 'Reet Petite' His styling was OK this week, A white shirt, grey trousers, a turquoise jacket & black & white spats on his feet, he'd even grown a thin mustache for the look. The song had a nod towards 'Dance Floor Classics' if not exactly what I'd call a 'Dance Floor Classic' song, even if a bit of it was sampled in one of Jive Bunny's medleys. His voice was great as usual & he sang & danced round the stage with confidence, he really put on a show, definitely safe & he is still my favourite voice wise!!

6) Kitty Brucknell (Over 25's) : Singing 'Like A Prayer'  (Louie overdosing on Madonna this week!!) Yet again her foundation, was as pale as her blonde hair, but her eyes & her lips were better than what they usually do to her. She was wig free for a change. She was styled in a ugly, black, choir like, cape with a few jet, jems on her shoulders, looking like something out of 'Sister Act' Starting off with a backing choir. She obviously pissed off someone in the gallery, who directs the camera's, as the camera panned to the audience, when she'd obviously done her big reveal & pulled off cape to reveal a leotard! (They must of seen her rehearsals & would of known when her bit of stage drama would unfold!! So they must of known when the cape ditching was coming!!) As the camera returned to the stage & she was now Cape free! The one shouldered sleeveless, gunmetal, leotard, was jeweled on its right shoulder, and was over beige fishnet tights & worn with black ankle boots. The Stage outfit was unattractive & boring, rather like the performance, I was disappointed, with the 'Dance Floor Classic' chosen for Kitty this week. I expected a very dramatic diva like performance, from Kitty!! But it was bland & understated & she clomped round the stage like a cart horse (Gary was right when he told her she can't dance!!) I think she is hovering in the danger zone of being in the bottom 3 with that performance! She sang in tune but it was beyond boring to watch!


Kitty - Like A Prayer
She Might Need One 

7) Frankie Cocozza (The Boys) : Singing 'I Gotta Feeling'  I'm Not Impressed with the song Garry, it's hardly a 'Dance Floor Classic' The talentless, cocky, cockney sounding, oik, came out wearing, skinny jeans (As always) a amethyst baggy vest top, that showed off his puny, scrawny body, some neck chains & his hair covering his face, to cover the fact, that he is a bit of a minger, with a squashed tomato nose! He sang Abysmally it was painful to the ears, he was off key & out of tune from the start & that never changed, all the posturing & strutting in the world could not hide how diabolical his voice is!! Awful, awful, awful.... he has to be in bottom 3 & out tomorrow after that!! Unless stupid schoolgirls who fancy Frankie (Who need to go to Specksavers & acquire some taste!!) Vote for the awful little Scrote!! Gary let me down again by lying, and saying that Frankie's god awful performance, was good!! (It was anything but!!) But I gained a New found respect for Louie Walsh, when he told Frankie the truth, he can't sing, he has no talent & he will never be a rock star!!! "Here, Here!!" say 90% of the viewing public!!


Frankie - I've Got A Feeling 
Better Get It Checked Out Frankie 
It's Probably a STD!!

8) Micha B (The Girls) : Singing 'Proud Mary'  The Xfactor stylists, styled her the best they have so far, in black, skin tight, wet look/rubber leggings & a black bodice under a white tails, fitted jacket, with a black satin collar, ankle boots &  big Afro hair. Even though it was a tad Tina Turner'ish who sang the song. The song was ok she sang it well but ruined it with all her manic "hah hah!!" (Which she likes to slip into her numbers!) She kind of danced a bit, but to be honest, she still doesn't do it for me, but safe this week after awful performances by Johnny, Frankie, Janet & a let down performance by Kitty!

9) Rhythmix  NOW Littlemix (Groups) : Singing 'Please Don't Stop The Music'  They looked bloody awful, in vile outfits that looked like they were made from Quality Street wrappers, for a minute I thought they'd changed their name again from Littlemix to Pick&Mix!! WTF were the stylists thinking!!??  The vocals started off bad & pretty much stayed that way, mostly inharmonious only occasionally becoming in harmony with each other, before yet again slipping out of harmony! Bad choice of song & dire styling, they are lucky, that most of the others were so awful, that they may be safe!!

Xfactor you failed badly, Again!!! Most of tonight performances disappointed, I think that Frankie & Janet are in danger, and may be in bottom two & two go tomorrow. In my view the worst four are as follows.... 
  1. Girls - Janet (Dire, out of tune, fluffed lyrics, boring! )
  2. Boys - Frankie (Awful, out of tune, off key, crap!!)
  3. Over 25's - Johnny (Madonna song in medley ruined it for him)
  4. Over 25's  - Kitty (A disappointing lack luster performance!!)

This Weeks Leather Jacket Count: (Excluding Backing Dancers!) The same as last week. 


Alice In Wonderland Styling: 2  Since the show started (None This Week, same as last week have they been reading my blog?)

Diva Styling: (Grace Jones - Micha B wk 2  & wk 4 / Tina Turner - Micha B wk 3 & wk 5)


Star Trek Styling: 2 ( Klingon - Kitty wk 1 / 7 of 9 - Kitty wk 2) No change this week!!


The Results Show Sunday 6th November 


The Show Begins : The judges enter, Kelly in a lovely, long, Grecian, draped, floaty, white dress. Tulisa wore a short, white frilly bubble skirted dress that looked like she was up to her waist in screwed up tissues! Gary in a black, velvet looking, tuxedo jacket, with a white shirt & a black trousers & tie. Louie in a black jacket, black trousers & silvery white open necked shirt. Then it was time for a very badly mimed, group song by the contestant's ironically 'It's Not About The Money' .... lol yeah not much!!! After a bit of VT of the contestants, plus clips of their dire performances last night, it was time for Xfactor runners up 'JLS' & their new single... It was OK nothing special!!. They looked like they'd been styled as'The Risk' in shades of grey. 


Then after more waffled filler, 'Florence & The Machine' performed. Nice of them to get Florence in, so Janet could see who she has been styled as, before she leaves later tonight. Florence looked odd in a long, white & black, Art Deco looking dress, with white fabric strips coming off it held by dancers & flapped looking like a cross between a human maypole & a human windmill. She has a good voice, But sang some bloody awful new single, no likey!! Then more fillers & then it was result time after the Ad break....

The three finalists with the lowest public votes, were Johnny (Which I had half expected) and Kitty (Who I thought could be in danger, for last nights dull performance) BUT shock of the night neither awful Frankie or off key Janet were in the bottom three!! The 3rd unexpected act was 'The Risk' didn't see that coming yesterday (Blame the styling!!) So that's 2 Under 25's and a Group, the lowest voted act went immediately, so I expected poor Johnny to go & The Risk to go head to head with Kitty!! But NO!! An even bigger shock 'The Risk' were out, they were not a fave of mine but all three acts were better than Frankie & Janet last night (I think Janet can thank the Irish voting for the Irish girl) & Frankie can thank, sluttish, teenaged, girls, who want to be his next butt tattoo, for saving his useless, bony, arse!!...1st up was Johnny Singing 'Unchained Melody'

1) Johnny Robinson (Over 25's) : Singing 'Unchained Melody'  Johnny came on stage, dressed the same as he was last week, in a shiny black suit & black shirt, with his glasses on. The song was perfect for him & really suited his falsetto voice!! He sang his little heart out & sang it beautifully, if he'd actually done that song on the Saturday, he'd not have been in the bottom three! Louie looked ready to burst into tears, both his acts in the sing off & he knew, as we all did, that the judges would save Kitty over Johnny, so Johnny's efforts would all be for nothing!! 


Johnny - Unchained Melody 


2) Kitty Brucknell (Over 25's) : Singing 'Beautiful Disaster'  Yet again she was wig free for a change, in a black leotard with a fitted cropped black tuxedo jacket, silver lurex ankle socks, high platform black shoes & a large chain/diamante drop necklace, with 'Ming The Merciless' eye makeup!! I can't say I know the song, nor can I say it's my kind of thing either!! But to give her, her due, she sang it well.
Kitty - Beautiful Disaster

So now it's down to the judges, decisions.... Louie predictably tearfully gets rid of Johnny & saves Kitty, Tulisa predictably saves Kitty & also dumps Johnny..... Next it was Kelly Rowland (Who always told Johnny, that he was her guilty pleasure) Yet Kelly predictably chose to save Kitty, obviously no guilt in not saving Johnny only guilty pleasure!! So it was Bye Bye Johnny, even without Gary's vote, he was a goner & Gary said he would of sent him home too!!.... So that's it for this week! Meanwhile Twitter was up in arms, that two shit acts, Frankie & Janet were not in the bottom two & dropped (80% of the anger directed at Frankie still being in & 20% angry at Janet still being in!!) Calling the show Fixfactor
*****************


The Xfactor 6th Live Show 
Saturday 12th November 2011


The Show Begins: After a delay due to a power cut the 4 judges enter the studio, Tulisa, in a one shouldered brown, stripey print 3/4 length dress, that had a kind of rapped look about it. Kelly was dressed guy style in a white high collared blouse, a black fitted jacket, and either skin tight black trousers or leggings, with dainty drop earrings & her hair/weave/wig pulled back into a low chignon. Gary was dressed in a black 3 piece suit, a white shirt & a red tartan tie. Louie was in his usual uniform of black suit & open necked white shirt!!


The theme for the contestants this week is 'Lady Gaga V Queen'  So will the stylists give the contestants something Rocky & Attractive, or Fantastically Wacky to wear? Lots of 'Leather Jacket' opportunity's...... I'm guessing we shouldn't hold our breaths!!!.... We also get to see who is going to kick out useless, talentless, Frankie Cocozza who was kicked off the show at the start of the week, by breaking show rules by indulging in a drug fuelled orgy, which he stupidly boasted of, in front of Xfactor staff. The 1st act up is Kitty who was whining that Kelly's act Micha B, has got the song she wanted to sing (Born This Way) By Lady Gaga!!!


1) Kitty Brucknell (Over 25's) : Singing 'Don't Stop Me Now'  Tonight she was back to the big crazy hair with a peroxide backcombed mullet, a kind of cross between Tina Turner in 'Mad Max - The Thunderdome' & 'Toya' (Wilcox) in her 80's Heyday!! with studs/jems stuck across her forehead like Vivian from 'The Young One's' (80's Sitcom) with lace at the sides of her eyes again (Looking again like 7 of 9 from 'Star Trek') She sang the song in a big faux chariot with male dancers with black plumed feather headdresses as her horses, the whole image was again like 'Toya' in her heyday in her 'Thunder In The Mountains' music video. She wore a black leather dress who's gold embellished top half looked like one 'Toya' wore except when she stepped from the chariot it had a fullish black feather mini skirt. It also had fringing or straight black hair coming from the shoulders. There were also female dancers in skimpy outfits & black feathered plume headdresses too!! The song suited her & she sang it well, and it was very theatrical, but was missing something, even with all that staging & plagiarising several other peoples styling....

2) Craig Colton (The Boys) : Singing 'Paparazzi' The stylists continued to dress Craig in a the same old uniform, they put him in every week! The Black V-neck T-shirt. The usual dark jeans, looked like. The black jacket was a black blazer this week & his Lego hair was Brylcreemed into a 'Downton Abbey' old fashioned look! He absolutely crucified Lady Gaga's song, turning it into a dull as dishwater ballad. Bloody awful arrangement, what the hell was Gary Barlow thinking?? DIRE!!.....

3) Rhythmix  NOW Littlemix (Groups) : Singing 'Telephone'  They were back on those Perspex boxes again! They were also in bright outfits again, but they looked OK, as the stylist had, for once, put together a mix that went together. The vocals started off nicking a into of 'Radio Gaga' by Queen so uniting the two artists in one song & the word 'Gaga' They sang a lot better than usual (Helped by none of that awful rapping being included) They are improving, and as I hated them at the start, that is saying something!!

4) Janet Devlin (The Girls) : Singing 'Find Me Somebody To Love' The stylists put her in a long transparent pail beige chiffon skirt with a short beige underskirt & what looked like a black with splash print, curve hemmed vest top with chain detail on front, but it actually made her look chunky and broad when she is thin (Sack the stylist) Lets start with the positives...... Her hair & make-up looked lovely!!....... Positives over!!! For a second week in a row she has butchered a song! The song is already a slow ballad & she managed to make it even slower, so it seemed to drag on forever, while in my head I was screaming "Make it end!!! Please god make it end!!" If she makes an album, it will be music to commit suicide to!!! Awful!

5) Marcus Collins (The Boys) Singing 'Another One Bites The Dust' His styling was naff this week, A white shirt, grey suit, a chocolate waistcoat, chocolate bow tie, red handkerchief, plus black & white spats on his feet, he looked like a thin 'Nutty Professor!!' I'm not a fan on bow ties except for black or white tie events, especially on young guys! The arrangement was big band style, which was a bit samey after last weeks performance! Luckily he has a great voice & moved around the stage well so should be safe!

6) Micha B (The Girls) : Singing 'Born This Way'  Which put was what put Kitty's nose out of joint!! The stylists, styled her with relaxed Afro hair, with a royal blue sequinned short shift dress, with big pointy padded shoulders & long sleeves, over black wet look leggings. I'm not a Micha B fan as you will be aware, but she sang the song well & in my eyes was her best performance to date!!


Then it was time to find out which of the acts from those rejected in the 1st live show by their mentors, has been voted in by the public, to replace Frankie, who has been dropped by Xfactor for breaking rules & boasting of a drug fuelled romp (The talentless tosser) Will it be Two Shoes? James Michael? Jonjo Kerr? or Amelia Lily? My money was on Amelia Lily, who I thought never should of been eliminate in week one!..... Dermot announces the votes are in and indeed Amelia Lily is the act voted back into the competition!

7) Amelia Lily (The Girls) : Singing 'The Show Must Go On' Amelia was in a chiffon handkerchief hemmed long skirt, with a belted black leather bodice over the top of it (Which made her look chunkier round the waist than she is!!) & her strawberry pink rinsed hair, was much longer she must of had some extensions. she came out confident & rocking the show, as she had done on the 1st show & proved how Kelly was wrong to dump her over Sophie or Janet!! A powerful performance that should keep her in the show! 

So from today's Xfactor Lady Gaga V Queen theme, 4 were Queen numbers & 3 Lady Gaga, if you count Littlemixes intro its 5-3. I think that Janet is deservedly in danger, and may be in bottom two & go tomorrow. Unless Ireland just stupidly votes for the 1 Irish act (despite whether its good or not) In my view the worst two are as follows.... 
  1. Girls - Janet (Dire, out of tune, depressing, boring!)
  2. Boys - Craig (Awful arrangement, boring!!)

This Weeks Leather Jacket Count: (Excluding Backing Dancers!) But one leather dress & one lather bodice. 


Alice In Wonderland Styling: 2  Since the show started (None This Week, same as last few weeks have they been reading my blog?)

Diva Styling: (Grace Jones - Micha B wk 2  & wk 4 / Tina Turner - Micha B wk 3 & wk 5 - Kitty wk 6 / Toya - Kitty wk 6)


Star Trek Styling: 2 ( Klingon - Kitty wk 1 / 7 of 9 - Kitty wk 2 & wk 6) 


The Results Show Sunday 13th November 

The Show Begins : The judges enter, Kelly in a lovely, long, sheer chiffon, floaty, black dress, with puff cap sleeves & a high gathered neckline, with a Pierrot like, gathered full collar, over a black long slip like dress (Gorgeous!!) With her hair swept up & dainty drop earrings. Tulisa wore a short, long sleeved, silver, sequinned dress, with a floral design, on her left shoulder, that crossed over her body diagonally, to her right hip. Her hair was swept over her right shoulder & she wore drop earrings! Gary was in a two tone grey plaid jacket, with a white shirt, black trousers & tie. Louie in a black jacket, black trousers & white open necked shirt. 


Then it was time for a very badly mimed, group song by the contestant's, they all mime badly, but the worst is definitely Janet, the song they mimed was 'Walking On sunshine' .... After a VT of the contestants, plus clips of their dire performances from last night, it was time for Xfactor runners up 'One Direction' & their new single... 'Gotta Be You' It was OK nothing special!!. They may have a new single out, but by the look of things they still have the same bloody awful stylist!!. Then after more waffled filler, it was time for the fantastic 'Lady Gaga'  who performed her new single called (I think) 'Married To The Night'. She, as always, was brilliant, even if somewhat kooky!! Singing about being married to the night, in a kind of macabre Gothic set. With a headless, female, ghost, in a long black Victorian dress (Not too unlike Kelly's) on her shoulders. She emerged from that, in a skimpy black leotard & black tights, her hair/wig/extensions looked fab & she looked damn good!!. Then more fillers & then it was result time after the Ad break....


The 1st shock came when Dermot read out who was safe (In no particular order) As first up it was the singers, of the worst two performances last night...... Janet & Craig that were declared safe (WTF?????) The two finalists with the lowest public votes, were Kitty (Which I had not expected, as she certainly was not the worse last night) and Micha B (Who I thought had delivered her best performance, so far, last night!! 1st up was Kitty, who was Singing 'Somewhere Over The Rainbow'  Why is that song so popular as a 'Save Me' song??? Its cute when your under 8, but a bore of a song when your older (That could be an own goal on Kitty's part!!)


1) Kitty Brucknell (Over 25's) : Singing 'Somewhere Over The Rainbow'  Yet again she was wig free, for the results show, with her hair in a centre parted bob. Dressed in black leather/PVC leggings & a cropped long sleeved edge to edge, shaggy, black feather, jacket, that was held together at the neck with a gold, leaf or feather shaped broach. I'm surprised she chose that song, rather than the 'Born This Way' Lady Gaga song, she'd so wanted to sing Saturday. Especially when Lady Gaga is backstage!! She sang the song well & had no bum notes! But that song bores me! Something tells me she knew she'd not be saved over Micha B & so she lacked fight in her performance! 

2) Micha B (The Girls) : Singing 'Who You Are' A Jessie J number I'd never heard before! Her Afro hair, was in a sort of beehive, wearing wet look black leggings, and a black high necked mini dress with black PVC capped sleeves. She sang well, can't say I love the song, but I haven't heard Jessie J's arrangement of it! I don't think she was any better than Kitty, but the song was a less boring choice. Anyway I think it's a safe bet the judges will save her over Kitty anyway, as for some reason, they see her as a star anyway! 

So now it's down to the judges, decisions.... Louie predictably saves his own act Kitty, Tulisa predictably saves Micha B & dumps Kitty..... Next it was Kelly Rowland who predictably chose to save Micha B. So Gary's vote meant he could either put Micha B through or save Kitty & take it to deadlock, so then the publics vote would decide! Gary Chose to save Micha B, so it was bye bye Kitty, She took it well & then said she just wanted to say something...... So Dermot handed her the mike & instead of saying how she had been blessed to be part of the show, or something similar, she burst into the 1st few lines of 'Born This Way' ...... That behaviour Kitty, is exactly WHY the audience didn't ever connect with you!!!...... 

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Despite Frankie Cocozza claiming to be mortified by his foolish actions, which got him kicked off the Xfactor in the papers, to save face. The next day he is out partying & back off his face on either drink, drugs or both, proving he is the same waster chancer!! He looks so out of it here (In photo below) He probably thinks, he has just pulled Cheryl Cole before she goes on stage to perform "Fight For This Love" 

"Chezza's Let Her Self Go A Bit!!!
Think I'm In There!!"

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The Xfactor 7th Live Show 
Saturday 19th November 2011


The Show Begins: The 4 judges enter the studio, after host Dermot has done a little dance routine with girls in gold lame bodysuits to the Bond theme music. Tulisa, in a grey & black one shouldered, short dress, with her hair done in a kind of long, straight bob that framed her face. Kelly was dressed in a long white high collared gown, with the bodice adorned with beads/embroidery in sliver & neon shades in a African tribal design. Gary was dressed in a Mid grey plaid jacket with black velvet, lapels. Worn with black trousers a white shirt & slim black tie. Louie was in his usual uniform of black suit, white shirt & black tie. 


The theme for the contestants this week is 'Movie Night'  So will the stylists give the contestants something Attractive, or something Gimmicky to wear? Maybe some 'Leather Jacket' opportunity's...... The 1st act up is Craig, who's diet seems to have gone for a burton!  


1) Craig Colton (The Boys) : Singing 'Licensed To Kill'  The stylists  dressed Craig in a black suit this week (A nod to James Bond) with a white shirt & slim, black, tie. His hair, was Brylcreemed, into a slicked back 'Mad Men' look! He does have a decent voice, but his static performance, was not dynamic. Even with the flames on the big screens behind!! You know the end is nigh for a singer, when all you were really thinking, throughout their performance was.... "He needs to get those jug ears pinned back!!" He could be in danger this week. Dull performance. 

2) Janet Devlin (The Girls) : Singing 'Kiss Me' The stylists put her in a long, long sleeved, jersey dress, in a white, red & black tribal print, with a large multi chain necklace & lots of bangles. Her hair was even more bright red than ginger.  Lets start with the positives... Her dress was nice & make-up looked lovely!!....... For once the song suited her wispy, reedy voice! BUT it was a bit of a cop out, not a title song of a film, just one that was part of a film soundtrack, her best performance, so far but didn't leave me wanting more. If the whole of Ireland are no longer voting for her, she may be in trouble!

3) Amelia Lily (The Girls) : Singing 'Think' Amelia was in a oyster, come champagne, strapless dress, with a jewelled bodice & a full knee length skirt, with under petticoat. Plus a short black leather jacket (They had to fit at least one in!!) & grey ankle-boots. Again  her strawberry pink rinsed hair, was much longer. She came out confident, not a great song choice, but she belted it out and gave it some wellie!! She has a good set of lungs for a 16yr old! Twitter was going crazy as the song was credited to 'Bridget Jones Diary' which it was in, as they thought it should of been accredited to the 'Blues Brothers' which it was also in! She should be safe but not brilliant song chase, again not a title song!

4) Micha B (The Girls) : Singing 'I Have Nothing'  The hair stylists, styled her relaxed Afro hair, by sweeping it to one side, and the other stylists are also obviously trying to soften her image to make her more public friendly. They put her in a lovely, long, white/ivory gown, with feathered cap sleeves, a jewel encrusted torso area & long, front, centre, split. She sang the song well, it suited her, but again it was not a title song, which felt like a bit of a cop out!! Then when she got tearful afterwards, as host Dermot spoke to her, it all seemed very staged, as if done to win round the public. 


5) Rhythmix  NOW Littlemix (Groups) : Singing 'Don't Let Go' For the first time ever they were styled well in a black & white mix that seemed polished, individual, and actually suited, every single one of them!! Two looked a tad St Trinian's School Girl, the other two a tad androgynous college boy look. They gave their best performance to date their harmony's were spot on!! So far, they are, the nights best performance!! Which coming from me who hated them at the start, is saying something!! They have really improved, I think dropping their dire rapping, that just wasn't working, has been the making of them. Definitely safe tonight! Despite yet again not singing a title track!!

6) Marcus Collins (The Boys) Singing 'Higher & Higher' His styling was much better this week, A shocking pink, shirt, with a matching jacket, black trousers & bright pink shoes, camp but suited him! He had a backing choir dressed in black. He gave the number lots of energy & used the floor space on the stage well, he had great vocals & eclipsed 'Littlemix' as the performance of the night, but yet again it was not a title track!!

So from today's Xfactor, Night At The Movie's theme, only one was a title track (Craig's 'Licence To Kill' ) Five were not!! Which feels like another Xfactor Cop Out. In my view the worst two are as follows.... 
  1. Girls - Janet (Her best performance to date but the other 4 were still better than her, predictable & samey)
  2. Boys - Craig (End of the road, boring!! Most likely to go!!)


This Weeks Leather Jacket Count: (Excluding Backing Dancers!) 


Alice In Wonderland Styling: 2  Since the show started (None This Week, same as last few weeks, they have definitely been reading my blog?)

Diva Styling: (Grace Jones - Micha B wk 2  & wk 4 / Tina Turner - Micha B wk 3 & wk 5 - Kitty wk 6 / Toya - Kitty wk 6)


Star Trek Styling: 2 ( Klingon - Kitty wk 1 / 7 of 9 - Kitty wk 2 & wk 6) 

The Results Show Sunday 20th November 

The Show Begins : The judges enter, Kelly in a navy/black leather look dress, looks two tone like a beetle's shell depending on how the light shines on it, it had a plunge V-neck with a sheer black insert. With her hair swept up & dainty drop earrings. Tulisa wore a short, long sleeved, aqua dress, with lacy sleeves & body, with the body lined in aqua fabric, her hair was down but looked a bit tatty tonight.   Gary in a pale grey three piece suit, with a light grey shirt, with white collar & cuffs a grey tie & collar pin. Louie in a black jacket, black trousers, black shirt & tie. 

Then it was time for a badly mimed, group song by the contestant's, they all mime badly, but the worst is definitely Janet, the song they mimed was 'When Your Gone' .... After a while Brian Adams joined them. Then it was time for filler VT's of the contestants, plus clips of their performances from last night, then it was time for ex Xfactor contestant 'Rebecca Ferguson' & her new single... It was OK But nothing special!!. She has a great voice but the song was nothing to write home about! She wore a nice, clingy, black, dress though. With an ornate, gold, design, on. 


Then after more waffled filler, it was time for 'Rihanna'  to sing, she performed her new single called 'We Found Love'. She was good, if somewhat kooky!! She was in a short, red, tartan, sleeveless, dress. With a full pleated kilt like skirt & a white collar, with metal collar tips, black hold up stockings & black leather brothel creeper like shoes with scrawled white writing on.  Then more fillers & then it was result time after the Ad break....

Dermot read out who was safe (In no particular order) Micha B, Littlemix & Marcus, so that left Amelia, Janet & Craig (Surely it was Amelia who was safe & Janet & Craig singing for survival!!) But NO!!! With the luck of the Irish, yet again Janet was safe! 1st The two finalists with the lowest public votes, to sing was Craig & then Amelia (Which I had not expected as she certainly was not the worse last night) So 1st up was Craig, who Sung 'Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?' 

1) Craig Colton (The Boys) : Singing 'Will you Still Love Me Tomorrow?'  The stylists  dressed Craig in a chocolate brown suit & shirt with no tie. He does have a decent voice, but this was yet again a static performance, it felt like he'd given up trying, he showed no fight or passion in his performance . A dull performance, the only emotion was when his bottom lip went at the end, guess up against Amelia he knows he is screwed, at least against Janet he stood a chance!. 

2) Amelia Lily (The Girls) : Singing 'You & I' Amelia was in a clingy, long sleeved dress, with cut outs at the sides at the waist, a black bowler hat, black ankle-boots & cuff collar necklace with droplet charms. She came out confident, it was a better song & a better performance than Craig's. She belted it out like her life depended on it, which it did in a way, and gave it some passion which Craig lacked!! 

So now it's down to the judges, decisions.... Gary predictably saves his own act Craig, Kelly Rowland predictably saves her own act Amelia & dumps Craig..... Next it was Tulisa who unpredictably chose to save Craig, maybe as a dig to Kelly? So Louie's vote meant he could either put Craig through or save Amelia & take it to deadlock, so then the publics vote would decide! Louie Chose to save Amelia, so it was the public vote that sealed the fate of Craig or Amelia & as I expected it was bye bye Craig!!......


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Saturday 26th November 2011


The Show Begins: The 4 judges enter the studio, after host Dermot has done a little dance routine, with 4 dancer girls, in Bridget Jones style, big black knickers, with sheer, sleeveless, white shirts, tucked in & black bow ties, to 'I Need A Hero' Tulisa entered in a tiger print bodice, with bands of black braid across it, a centre zip fasten, and wide, black, braces looking, shoulder straps, clinched in at the waist, with a wide, black, patent leather, belt, that fastened at the back. Worn over a full, black, tutu like, net skirt, she wore her hair down. Kelly was dressed in a one shouldered, fitted, blue dress, that was just above the knee. With a white, yellow lined, tapering frill that ran over the one shoulder (Right shoulder) forming a cap sleeve of sorts & tapering into side seam. Also with a lime green kick out, frilled area from hip to hem on same side. Gary was dressed in a light grey, pinstriped, jacket, with black velvet lapels, similar to last weeks. Worn like last week, with black trousers, a white shirt & slim black tie. Louie was in a charcoal suit & open necked, grey paisley shirt. 


The double theme, for the contestants this week is 'Heroes' & 'Guilty Pleasures'  So will the stylists find some more  'Leather Jacket' opportunity's, to promote their job lot from Top Shop, or whoever their subliminally promoting this year (After last years Max Factor red lipstick) The 1st act up to sing their 'Guilty Pleasure' is Littlemix.. 

1) Rhythmix  NOW Littlemix (Groups) : Singing 'Baby, Baby, Baby Oooh' Fuck me, what did they do, to piss off the stylist? Whatever it was, Jesy must of been the ring leader, as her outfit was the most cruel!! The stylist should be taken outside and shot, they were given unflattering 1940-50's roll hairstyles, that only the blonde one, who looks a bit like Sarah Harding, could slightly pull off. They were put in in  40's prom style dresses with lots of net petticoats & traditional cherry prints, plus other similar prints. Two had oversized bows at the front, they were worn with ankle socks & coloured plimsolls. But poor, poor, Jesy got a grey vest top, plus a white mesh petticoat over something pink & all clinched in with a wide purple belt, the poor thing looked like a sack of shit, tied in the middle. What was the bloody poor excuse for a stylist thinking??? They made poor Jesy look 4st heavier & 3 sizes bigger than actually she is!! They looked Appalling! Their bad styling must of affected them as, despite good vocals, they were not as good as last week, maybe due to them mixing in Diana Ross'es 'Baby Baby where did our love go' into the mix, which didn't add anything to the Justin Bieber song, at all! I think they are safe though!  

2) Janet Devlin (The Girls) : Singing 'Oooom Bop' The stylists put her in a short, 3/4 sleeved, smock like, dress, with her bare pasty, skinny, lily white legs & flat shoes, nothing about it flattered her, she looked like she was a lanky kid heading off to a funeral. Her hair & make-up looked lovely though, the liquid eye-liner suited her!!.... The song though was a catastrophe, she stood on a floral X with a floral backdrop, she nasily sang the 1st verse, performance was weak & then she completely forgot the 2nd verse altogether. Awful, surely she has to go this week!!!!?.... *Fingers Crossed* 

3) Micha B (The Girls) : Singing 'Girls Just Want To Have Fun'  Styling wise her relaxed hair looked good, but it all went whey down hill from there!!! She wore black & white, graffiti print, leggings which made her thighs look enormous!! That was teamed with an ugly green & blue, busy print, bodice, which wasn't good styling, as it clashed appallingly with the leggings. Then over that, they put a black jogging top, with a double white stripe, down the sleeves, with a cut out, lattice like front, to show the bodice. They then teamed that with ugly, clompy shocking pink trainers, that made her look as if, she had club feet!! She wore a big silver cuff bracelet on her right arm & huge silver triangle ring. It looked Bloody awful!!! Her singing was fine, and her dancing OK, until she added a rap to the song, which ruined it, as she (as usual) added those annoying nasal "Hah Hah's" which irritate the fuck out of me, and most of my twitter timeline too it seems!!!


4) Marcus Collins (The Boys) Singing 'I'm Your Man' His styling was OK! Black jeans, a white vest & a black 'Leather' suit style jacket (They managed to sneak one in) with black & white converse boots. His vocals were faultless & made good use of the stage, with the backing dancers in white suits & black vests. Good, lively, exciting, performance, the guy can sing & dance! A confident performance he is sooooo safe!! 


5) Amelia Lily (The Girls) : Singing 'China In Your Hand' Amelia was in a unflattering, calf length, white, lace dress & bare feet. I thought Xfactor stylist Grace was bad last year, but I think this shower of stylists are even worse!! The sleeveless, lace dress, with a high neck & raggedy hem, with a silver band round waist, made her look broad in the torso which she isn't, the pink has rinsed from her hair & was white & pinned in a old fashioned style that was too old for her! She sang the song well though & belted it out with a confidence that belied her 17yrs


Now it's time for the acts to sing their 'Heroes' song & 1st up again is Littlemix....


1) Rhythmix  NOW Littlemix (Groups) : Singing 'Beautiful' The stylist was kinder this time, dressing them in dark jeans/jeggings & white vests/sleeveless smocks, with black boots. Jesy now looked a normal size again, unlike in the previous hideous outfit. They all sang well vocally, but it was a bit of a bore visually, as they were just sat on chairs, with their sad victim "People bully us, about how we look" faces on!! Followed by "This is so emotional for us, vote for us!!" Tears & sad faces after! Yes I am feeling a bit cynical, but I'm tired of their sad, victim, faces every show... You have done better than any other Xfactor, girl band so far, so cheer the fuck up, you bunch of sour pusses!!! Jesy looks a lot like Claire Powell from CAN Associates mid weight loss!!


2) Janet Devlin (The Girls) : Singing 'Under The Bridge' She said this song meant a lot to her, which is worrying as it's a song about Heroine addiction (More Frankie Cocozza's thing, surely!!) The stylists put her in a long, beige, khaki & brown camouflage print long, sleeveless, high necked dress, with a fullish skirt. plus some large tribal looking chain necklace, she stood on a plinth with white, cloud like, smoke wafting round her, while behind her was a huge gilt frame with video head & shoulders image of her among more cloud like smoke. Her reedy voice, kept breaking, in a Celtic lilt, annoyingly, at the end of each line, in every verse!! Not good enough to rescue her from the huge cock up performance earlier, it's time for her to pack her case!! Bye Bye!!....


3) Micha B (The Girls) : Singing 'Killing Me Softly'  Styling wise, they put her in a short, skin tight, sheer & semi sheer, long sleeved dress, with black PVC inserts. Black, high heeled, boot shoes, and a large, statement, diamante necklace, that looked not unlike broken bits of mirror. Talking of mirrors she seemed to be stood in front of a oversized three way mirror, which showed multiple unflattering back shots of her in the dress, back to a good vocal (No bloody nasal hah hah's!!!) 

4) Marcus Collins (The Boys) Singing 'Lately' His styling was good for him. A charcoal suit, with open necked white shirt, with a untied bow tie casually round his neck. After a slow (very slightly) rocky start his vocals again were faultless & made good use of the stage, even though it was a ballad & he was alone, without backing dancers, the performance was very emotional & sung from the heart. I'd buy his album.


5) Amelia Lily (The Girls) : Singing 'Since You Been Gone' Amelia started sat on the stage singing to a planted rocker looking guy in black 'Leathers' She was in a pair of metallic silver looking jeggings that had a pinky hue under the lights, with a white vest & a black jacket with a silver star print. A black belt & ankle boots plus a long silver chain with a fringe of chains hanging from it. Her hair was down in a style more apt for a teenager!! She wore a funky spiky looking bangle on her right wrist, her vocals were strong & very impressive & like Marcus she made good use of the stage! 


Well that was it only one person deserves to go tomorrow & that's Janet, surely she can't be saved yet again!!!???...


This Weeks Leather Jacket Count: (Excluding Backing Dancers!) 


Alice In Wonderland Styling: 2  Since the show started (None This Week


Diva Styling: 6 (Grace Jones - Micha B wk 2  & wk 4 / Tina Turner- Micha B wk 3 & wk 5 - Kitty wk 6 / Toya - Kitty wk 6)

Star Trek Styling: 2 ( Klingon - Kitty wk 1 / 7 of 9 - Kitty wk 2 & wk 6

The Results Show Sunday 27th November 

The Show Begins : The judges enter, Kelly in a absolutely gorgeous one shouldered, pinky lilac, Grecian style, draped, full skirted knee length dress, with a 1.5" wide, right, shoulder strip & thin tan plaited belt, worn with her hair back & chunky small lilac hoop earrings with pink rhinestones (I love them) Tulisa wore a short, high necked, long sleeved, clingy dress with a sheen, with cut out shoulders, and a centre panel with a gold animal spot print, black high heeled platform courts, worn with her hair pulled back in a ponytail & chunky, gold, drop, hoop, earrings. Gary in a milk chocolate three piece suit, with a white shirt, with a paisley tie. Louie in a black jacket, black trousers, white open neck shirt. 


Then it was time for ex Xfactor contestant 'Olly Murs' performing with the Muppet's, his new single... It was not bad quite catchy, and made better by 'Animal' being on the drums, 'Fozzie Bear' being on base, the penguins in red bow ties as backing singers & 'Miss Piggy' in  long red dress & diamante necklace, as Olly's love interest. Then it was time for filler VT's of the contestants, plus clips of their performances from last night, then a bit about their charity song for Escape 'Wishing On A Star' which was then performed by the Xfactor contestants, past & present (Except for Frankie, he will be kicking himself now for being such a twat if he has any brains!!) They were all dressed in shades of cream, beige & khaki, then 2/3 in 'One Direction' & 'JLS' joined them on stage (In shades of grey & black) 


Dermot read out who was safe (In no particular order) Amelia, Marcus & Littlemix, so that left, Janet & Micha B for the sing off (Surely it was Micha B who was safe & Janet who's going) So first up is Janet.....


1) Janet Devlin (The Girls) : Singing 'Chasing Cars'  The stylists yet again put her in a short, black, smock shaped, shirt dress, this time it was sheer chiffon over a slip & had white buttons, plus white cuffs, with a silver floral design & matching collar, hidden beneath her hair, her pasty white legs were on show again & were topped off with unflattering, unattractive, flat, lace up, tan shoes. She looked like a teen version of Orphan Annie, shoot the stylist. Her reedy Celtic voice, warbled along in her usual boring manner.... Bye Bye!!


2) Micha B (The Girls) : Singing 'Out There On My Own' The stylists put her in a short, skin tight, African type print, dress, which they teamed with a cropped, unflattering, black, boxy jacket, with a shiny black PVC/Leather yoke, adding width at her waist area, breaking all the body type rules (Did these stylists ever study fashion at art college???..... I seriously doubt it!!) black high heeled ankle boots. They went back to giving her, pom pom, topiary hair, in a big ball bun/ponytail on top of her head! with a multiple chain, earring, hanging from edge of left ear & half pointy hoop in right ear. Her voice was good, but the song & performance didn't do much for me, it was a kind of nothing song, I don't recognise it, but maybe the arrangement was different than the original! Did nothing for me but I think it is safe to say, she will stay over Janet!

So now it's down to the judges, decisions.... Louie  saves Micha B over Janet, even though Janet is Irish like Louie, good boy, he didn't play the Irish card for once!!, Tulisa predictably saves Micha & dumps Janet..... Next it was Kelly who had to choose between her two acts, who predictably chose to abstain & by doing so it meant as Janet was in the majority to go, so without Gary's vote Janet was out So Kelly got to vote out Janet, without actually verbally doing so (Smart, sneaky, move Kelly!!!) So who would Gary have sent home if it had come to him?...... No surprise it would of been Janet!! But anyway as I expected it was bye bye Janet anyway!!......


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Xfactor Semi Finals 
Saturday 3rd December 2011

The Show Begins: The 4 judges enter the studio, after the shows host Dermot O'Leary has done his little dance routine, with 6 girl dancers, in Bridget Jones style, big black knickers, with sheer white shirts, tucked in, to 'Do Ya Love Me?'  Tulisa came in, in a gorgeous, long, amethyst, Herve Leger body-con bandage dress & long multi coloured, gem, pendant necklace, that looked not unlike a Christian Lacrox one!! Nice!! Worn with her hair down. Kelly was dressed in a simple, classic but sexy monotone, black & white, cap sleeved, tailored, shift dress, with a a white torso to waist & the black skirt with multiple splits, showing off Kelly's fab legs. Gary was dressed in a pale grey three piece suit, worn with, a white shirt & slim silver grey tie. Louie was in a charcoal black, suit, white shirt & black tie. 


The double theme, for the contestants this week is 'Motown Classics' & 'Get Me to The Final Song'  So will the stylists find some way of inserting some 'Leather Jacket' opportunity's? The 1st act up to sing their 'Motown' number, is Micha B...... 

1) Micha B (The Girls) : Singing 'Dancing In The Street' The Xfactor stylists put her in a short, Paco Rabanne style dress made from 45rpm single, record, disc's, with two moulded LP's, forming two big shoulders & a collar, worn with black high heels, a 60's bob wig & wide patent head band. Her voice was good, as expected with her doing Motown, but with the pitch & way she was singing it, I was almost, half expecting her, to slip in a couple of her trademark, hah hah's after slipping in one at the start! She worked the stage well though. But she still doesn't do it for me, very nasal in parts!! I'd not buy an album by her.  


2) Amelia Lily (The Girls) : Singing 'Aint No Mountain High Enough' Amelia was very badly styled in a large, dogtooth check, 'Stepford Wives' style, full skirted, high necked, sleeveless shift dress, with either a black band at the bottom or black net petticoat showing below it, plus a hot pink belt, pink ankle socks with what looked like tap shoes, a chunky gold, discoloured looking, chain necklace, some chunky bangles & knuckleduster style rings, on both hands (WTF??) None of the mish matched outfit went together, or looked Motown! What the hell was the stylist Thinking????...... or rather Drinking!!! Her hair was put in a half-arsed beehive & the poor, pretty, girl, looked bloody awful!! She belted out the song well though & made good use of the stage, which belied her mere 17yrs!


3) Rhythmix  NOW Littlemix (Groups) : Singing 'Keep Me Hanging On'  The stylist should be taken outside and shot, they were given almost the same outfits, that they wore last week, when they were  singing 'Baby Baby Baby Oooooh' but instead of the unflattering  40's prom style dresses with lots of net petticoats & traditional cherry prints, plus other similar prints. They were given unflattering 60's style prom dresses & Beehive hair. But they'd learnt their lesson & amended the vile outfit they gave poor poor Jesy last week & so instead of giving her the grey vest top, plus a white mesh petticoat over something pink & all clinched in with a wide purple belt, that made her look like a sack of shit, tied in the middle. She got a short 60's style dress with a Peter Pan collar, better but not exactly pretty. They were all in unflattering flat shoes & ankle socks except for the poor blonde one who was put in white over the knee socks & flat shoes, which didn't go at all, with her Stepford Wife dress & made her look like, her legs had been bandaged, after a nasty, scalding, accident. Their bad styling must of affected them again!! As their singing had taken a step backwards & the black girl with pillar-box red hair, fluffed her lines & ironically her next line was "And there is nothing I can do about it!!" So true, so far, with that performance, tonight, they are in danger! 


4) Marcus Collins (The Boys) Singing 'My Girl' His styling was a mish mash this week!! A pair of grey suit trousers, black & white converse baseball boots, a white shirt, a black bow tie & a black & white, jock style, high-school baseball jacket, with ironically a No4 on, as he sang 4th.... A unattractive, odd mix of clothing, what's with the stylists love, of putting young guys in bow ties, when they're dressed casually? Do they have a Nutty Professor fetish??? His was an Amazing vocal, the lad was born to sing Motown!!!! His was definitely the best of the 1st songs!! Although as he is gay I can't see why he couldn't of sang it as 'My Guy' instead!!


Now it was time for them all to perform their 'Save Me' song, so again, 1st up, was Micha B. 


1) Micha B (The Girls) : Singing 'Perfect' The Xfactor stylists put her in a unflattering, size increasing, weight gaining outfit (The opposite of what any 'DECENT' stylist would do!!) Which was a milk chocolate polo-neck jumper, with large padded shoulders 80-90's style, with rhinestones on the shoulders & sleeves, and a short, black 'Leather' skirt, that stuck out tutu style, enlarging her already ample hips!! With that they added a wide black double buckled belt & gave her a 'Prince' style hairstyle, circa 'Purple Rain' Her voice was good & suited this song, but the performance was rather static & boring, sat crouched amid dry ice & didn't emote any emotion from me. Some people no doubt will rave about her, but she did nothing for me!


2) Amelia Lily (The Girls) : Singing 'I'm With You' Amelia was badly styled, in a long very plain, frumpy, black dress with frilled section, round the neck & over shoulders, and around the bottom around 5" above the hem. Her hair was put in the same frumpy style as it was for her 1st song 'China In Your Hand' last week & the poor, girl, looked as if done up like a 53yr old not a 17yr old!!!! Sack the stylist!! Good voice, but a tad shouty in parts. 


3) Marcus Collins (The Boys) Singing 'Can You Feel It' I was confused as they changed the order, it should of been 'Littlemix' next? Maybe the black girl, with red hair, was still in a state over fluffing her lyrics in the 1st song? Or maybe they were having a outfit, malfunction, emergency? (Mind you, most of the vile outfits, that the stylists have poorly put together, have looked like they have malfunctioned!!) His styling was OK, if somewhat camp, but as he is gay, he can pull it off!! He was in a pair of black 'leather' trousers, a white cap sleeved, V-neck, T-shirt & a black, jerkin style, studded 'leather' waistcoat. I expected Marcus to excel at this song, with his amazing vocals, but disappointingly, even though he put in a lively, decent, stage performance, his vocals were not up to their usual outstanding level (Which is kind of ironic, as this is his 'Save Me' song!!) I don't know if he had exhausted his throat from his 1st pitch perfect performance? or if the arrangement was pitched slightly too low for him? But he seemed to struggle a fraction & didn't deliver the outstanding, performance, of the song, that he is more than capable of doing! I felt sorry for him, but 'Littlemix' made a bigger faux pas, in their 1st song! So surely with his talent & likeability he should be safe!!?


4) Rhythmix  NOW Littlemix (Groups) : Singing 'If I Was A Boy'  The styling was much better this time (Couldn't have been much worse than before!!) It was a bit of a copy cat of their best black & white (School Girl/Androgynous) styling of a few weeks back, but this time in black, red & white (With a lot of 'Leather' thrown in!!) Two leather jackets, a leather sleeveless biker style jacket, & one in a school girl style, black, pinafore dress, with a black leather/fabric mix bodice over the top. Nothing too complicated though, to suggest why they needed to delay going on & swapped spots with 'Marcus' Hmmmm?? Their vocals were good, but I think the cock-up with the lyrics on 'Keep Me Hanging On' has knocked them out of the running. 


Well that was it, for the semi final, so who wont make it to the final? I think 'Littlemix' with their faux pas, will be one of the bottom two, joined either by 'Micha B', due to her unlikeability factor, or 'Amelia' due to very bad styling & being a tad shouty in parts! We will have to wait to see who goes tomorrow its not as obvious as some weeks, this week!


This Weeks Leather Jacket Count: (Excluding Backing Dancers!) 1 leather skirt & 1 pair of leather trousers & some leather gloves. 


Alice In Wonderland Styling: 2  Since the show started (None This Week, same as last few weeks)

Diva Styling: (Grace Jones - Micha B wk 2  & wk 4 / Tina Turner - Micha B wk 3 & wk 5 - Kitty wk 6 / Toya - Kitty wk 6)


Star Trek Styling: 2 ( Klingon - Kitty wk 1 / 7 of 9 - Kitty wk 2 & wk 6) 


The Semi Final Results Show 
Sunday 4th December 

The Show Begins : The judges enter, Kelly in a absolutely gorgeous simple, floor length, sleeveless, silver sequinned, column shift dress, with her hair down. Tulisa wore a knee length, V-necked, capped sleeved, clingy dress in shiny gunmetal striped fabric, with big shoulder pads & side hip peplum's Roland Mouret 'Style' worn with black high heeled platform courts, with her hair piled back. Gary in a dark charcoal three piece suit, with a white shirt, a plaid tie & pail pink flower pin in his lapel buttonhole. Louie in a black jacket, black trousers, black open neck shirt. 



Then it was time for the Xfactor contestants group mime of 'Hold On For One More Day' They mimed well this week you'd almost think they were actually singing live!! At 1st I thought their miming had improved & then I realised all the really rubbish mimer's have been voted off!! Then it was time for 'Justin Bieber' to perform his new single 'Under The Mistletoe' off his Christmas Album' He'd changed his hairstyle to a 'Tin Tin' style quiff, and was wearing a red leather, military style, jacket, with black & gold leather trim, that looked 2 sizes too big for him & had an oversized collar, not too dissimilar to one of 'Harry Hills' So he looked like a kid, in fancy dress, as a tin soldier, in his big brothers costume! There is no denying the kid is cute & talented, but boy oh boy, that is one boring Xmas single!!! 


Next it was Xfactor Judge, Kelly Rowland's, Xfactor performance, she came out looking uba banging, in a sparkly Velour cropped vest top & hot pants, worn under a silver, diamante studded, cage like, corset, that had a black silk skirt tail/bustle attached to the back, which was removed during the dance routine, revealing her fab figure (As seen in "Commander" music video below!!) And long, long, legs, in her high heeled ankle boots. She put on a good show, dancing with the dancers & singing a medley of 'When Love Takes Over' & 'Make Love On The Dance Floor' and demonstrated, as she would say "The girls got it going on!!" 


Kelly's Mighty Buff!!

Dermot then read out who was safe tonight there is no sing off between the bottom two for the judges to choose from, tonight the lowest point contestant go's. So (In no particular order) Littlemix & Marcus, so that left Amelia & Micha B as the bottom two, I felt with the annoying nasal hah hah's & the rapping inserts Micha B would go as not all voters are teenagers & I was right, the 3rd person saved was Amelia! 


So with no sing off Micha B got to sing out the show. She was dressed in wet look black leggings, a black camisole & a transparent, leg of lamb sleeved shirt dress worn as a shirt, clinched in with a wide black belt at the waist! With the unattractive 'Prince' Circa 1990 hair from yesterday. She started off with a naff rap that she has done before on the show (Which was probably what lost her votes in the show) Followed by song that seemed to be called 'Be True To Who You Are' Never heard of it & I can't say it did anything for me, I have no idea if she sung it like the original, or changed the arrangement!! So That's it next week is the final, can't say I feel excited, I hope Marcus wins though as he is the best of them all, but they are all decent acts, Whoever wins though my 1st bit of advice is to get a decent stylist, as far removed from the Xfactor stylists as possible!! 


*****************


So now we are down to the final 3 Littlemix, Marcus & Amelia, but how did I rate all the contestants at the start? & did any change my mind?



Gary Barlow - The Boys 
  1. Frankie Cocozza - (I don't like, doubt I'll change my mind!) I didn't change my mind hated him through the whole show!
  2. Marcus Collins - (Good voice, I like!!) No change in fact he is my favourite!!
  3. Craig Colton - (Totally indifferent, not sure he will change my mind) Good voice, but remained bland & I remained indifferent!
  4. James Michael - (Again totally indifferent, again not sure if he can win me round) His 1st song was a disappointment then he was gone!!

Kelly Roland - The Girls
  1. Janet Devlin - (OK, if you like the Ethereal, Enya, Diana Vickers kinda thing) I disliked her Celtic warbling, more & more, as weeks went on!
  2. Misha B - (Don't like her, everything she has sang has left me cold, due to her  nasal whine hah hah's & bad rapping!!) The Hah hah's continued to irk me, as did the rapping & nasal mew's it distracted from a good singing voice! Didn't connect with me!
  3. Sophie Habibis - (Indifferent, we will see if she wins me over?) She didn't, every song ended up sounding like a slow, morose, boring, ballad & no stage presence! Still left Indifferent!!
  4. Amelia Lily - (Good voice, only 16, it will be interesting to see how she does) I thought she was great on 1st show & then unbelievably she was dropped, luckily the public were sensible enough to vote her in, when the opportunity arose via, talentless tosspot Frankie, still one to watch!!

Louie Walsh - The Over 25's 
  1. Jonjo Kerr - (Nice bloke, doesn't set the world on fire though) Louie felt the same and dropped him after the 1st show!
  2. Sami Brookes - (Good singer, I'm yet to decide if I'm a fan) Good voice, but little stage presence, bad styling didn't help!
  3. Kitty Brucknell - (Can't stand her shouty singing, or her attitude, I have met her, no likeability, treats people like shit, Diva!) Still don't like her as a person, but her singing improved throughout the show, when she began to sing her songs powerfully, rather than shout them powerfully, worked stage well, but still no likeability & seems very false, devious & manipulative!
  4. Johnny Robinson - (He can sing, but needs the right song, so not to seem a camp novelty/joke act, so unlucky to have Louie) He shone when given the right songs to sing & no fancy dress outfits (Which wasn't often enough as Louie tried at the start to make him a comedy novelty!!) 
Tulisa Contostavlos - The Groups 
  1. The Risk - (Newly formed, but seem promising, I will wait on giving a verdict!) OK but bad styling & bad song choices didn't help them!
  2. Rhythmix - (The band dress awful & do nothing for me vocally) They improved vocally once they dropped the rapping that they are no good at, they were dressed hideously by the stylists throughout I think only 2-3 outfits were OK!
  3. Nu Vibe - (They leave me pretty indifferent!) They were a nothing group & left me still indifferent when they left the show
  4. 2 Shoes - (Fun, but I'm fairly indifferent so far!) Fun, Sang OK the 1st night but wasn't bothered when they left the 1st night!
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Xfactor Final At Wembley Arena
Saturday 10th December 2011

The Show Begins: The 4 judges enter the studio, after the shows host Dermot O'Leary has done his little dance routine, which starts with him on a big screen VT with him dancing on steps with 2 male & 2 female dancers, to 'Austin Powers Theme Tune'  He then gets in a taxi that 'Goldie' got out of, you then see him travelling all the way to Wembley, before coming out of the double screens on stage in taxi with the dance group & do a bit more prancing, then it was time for the Judges to make their entrance! Tulisa came in, in a mish mash ivory, grey & black dress, with a ivory bodice part. and huge black polka dots on part of the skirt area & huge bow on the back, that looked like she was auditioning for Bo Peep in panto, with a hint of Vivian Westwood about itKelly was dressed in a simple, classic, but sexy, mouse grey, column dress, with a hint of the orient about it,with cap sleeves, the neckline had a plunging front split, that was adorned with sparkling jewelled brocade. Gary was dressed in a plumb velvet, smoking jacket look, jacket, worn with, a white shirt, black trousers & matching plumb velvet waistcoat. Louie either in a black or dark Aubergine (Hard to tell under coloured studio lights) & matching shirt & tie. 


The show began with the contestants *Mimed* group song, which tonight was Gary Barlow's 'Take That' hit 'Greatest Day Of Our Life' Then it was the 1st of the 3 contestants Marcus up first..... 



1) Marcus Collins (The Boys) Singing 'Hey Ya' His styling was based on 'Pee Wee Herman' it seemed this week!! A light grey, double breasted suit, a electric blue shirt, a black bow tie & also black Nerd/Buddy Holly glasses (Which was insensitive if based on Buddy Holly though, as Marcus was singing, stood on a giant Jet Plane!!) His vocal, was good but the song though fun & lively & a good show opener, wasn't the kind of song to showcase how good his vocal is! He put on a lively, enthusiastic, performance, dancing with the dancers (Females dressed as air stewardesses the guys as ground crew!) With jets taking off & landing on the backdrop video screen. But it wasn't his best performance & felt the high notes may have been straining his throat after his bad throat last week! Nerdy styling did him no favours though!!



2) Rhythmix  NOW Littlemix (Groups) : Singing 'You Got The Love'  The styling was better than some weeks (Couldn't have been much worse than before!!) It was a bit late 1980's early 1990's with white & double denim (Stonewashed) Most of the girls got an almost passable outfit, but poor Jesy, got the brunt of the stylists cruelty, yet again!! She got saddled with dungaree's (An item of clothing, that's even unflattering on a super model!!) Not only that, but the front of the legs of the dungaree's & the bib were shredded & the bib was left to hang down, over her crotch, like an old nappy that had been chewed by the dog! and a denim waistcoat worn over her white top. Making her look much broader around her waist, torso & hips, than she actually is (Will these, so called stylists, never learn??) They came out on the back of 4 bikers, bikes & had a large bunch, of female dancers, dressed in black, looking quite military with black peaked caps & waving huge pink flags. Decent vocal but didn't set my world on fire! 


3) Amelia Lily (The Girls) : Singing 'Aint No Other Man' Amelia was cutely styled, in a baby pink, boned, strapless, leather bodice, that laced up at the back, corset style! Adorned with rows of 4 buckled straps over each breast, a double peplum with pink & black, feather trim, at waist, over a full, knee length, baby pink, net, tutu skirt, like a cross between Barbie & a sexy fairy (Some people cruelly said 'Toilet Roll Cover' on Twitter) Worn with gunmetal rocker bracelets & a large diamante encrusted ring. But the pink flat pumps & ankle socks let the outfit down. Her hair was down, and parted in the centre, and had crimped waves, on her hair, that had its pink rinse back. She worked the stage well & put in a good, energetic, performance! But a Christina Aguilera song, was a bit of an obvious choice, as she had been compared to her several times, during her appearances on the show (Mostly by name dropping Louie!!!) The backdrop screen showed lots of female body silhouettes dancing in boxes. The Brilliantly funny, spoof account  @KatieWeasel on Twitter, made me laugh when they said it was Frankie Cocozza's Advent Calendar behind Amelia!


Then it was filler time so a JLS & One Direction mash up! Both groups dressed in black, grey & white with hints of red & yellow. JLS came out to 'Makes Me Wanna' then One Direction took to the stage with 'That's What Makes You Beautiful' (Both Acts have sung both these songs on this years show before!! Repetitive) So to add a twist, both sang their separate songs, at the same time, so it merged as one (Sounded bloody awful!!!.... FAIL!!) Then it was time for the acts to duet with their mentors (Is Xfactor feeling the pinch??) 1st up Gary & Marcus. 


1) Marcus Collins (The Boys) & Gary BarlowSinging 'Always A Woman'  His styling was better but still quite old for a young, trendy, gay, lad. Black trousers, a black velvet jacket, white shirt & a white handkerchief, in his top pocket, plus that bloody, black, bow tie, yet again! Gary had not changed from the outfit he came out in tonight & was sat at a black grand piano. They sang well together & Marcus vocals sounded back to their best, now he wasn't straining to hit the high notes with his sore throat!


2) Rhythmix  NOW Littlemix (Groups) & Tulisa : Singing a medley of  'If I aint Got You/Empire State Of Mind'  (Normally a Louie thing to do, shame he has lost an act, I'd like to have seen him duet for the sheer fun factor!!) They looked better in their black & white outfits & Tulisa had changed into a shiny gunmetal coloured, cap sleeved mini dress, with huge American Football like shoulder pads, and a sticky out sticking up hem (Not a fan! Not sure which of her two dresses were worse tonight?) They were doing OK, until they ruined it with their shit, urban, rapping insert! Awful, shame because I Love 'Empire state Of Mind' I'm sure it's urban, Tulisa, that keeps adding the rapping to songs, and ruining them, the girls are just not good enough rappers for it to work!


3) Amelia Lily (The Girls) & Kelly Rowland : Singing 'River Deep Mountain High' Amelia was dressed in a short black dress, with some black, leather, fringing detailing & gems. Kelly had changed her dress to a similarly shaped, beaded, two tone gold, cap sleeved mini dress. Kelly normally gets it dead right outfit wise 98% of the time, and today's dress was lovely. But a bad bra, or a lack of a bra, did the dress & Kelly no favours, making it look like she had small empty, saggy, pensioner tits! (Or 'Samosa tits' as my friends & I call them! As they look like two flat samosa's with the tip pointing downwards!) They performed a wicked duet though (Kelly & Amelia .... Not Kelly's tits!) They both really went for it & rocked that number out! Their voices/harmony's really complimented each other too! 


Then apart from the 88th Advert (A SLIGHT exaggeration!!) There was more filler, in the form of 'Leona Lewis', in a long Santa red shift dress, with flared skirt. Who sang a god awful, depressing, morose, dirge, called 'Hurt' Apparently about Heroine addiction (How cheerful & festive!!) Bloody Awful she mumbled as she quietly talked the 1st two thirds of the song, the rest once it started up wasn't much better!! Dull, boring, shit!! Then there was a bloated looking, jug eared 'Michael Buble' singing 'Christmas' off of his new Christmas album! Good voice but Yawn!!


Finally it was time to announce who was out & who would not be fighting it out tomorrow! So 1st through in 'No Particular Order' was 'Littlemix' & then ........... 'Marcus' ...... So it was "Bye Bye" Amelia (Hold your head up high girl, you put up a good fight & I think your better than Littlemix!) So its Marcus V Littlemix, I'd like to see Marcus win, but I think the Xfactor spin doctors, have constructed so much hype about Littlemix, with they would be the 1st group to win Xfactor etc etc, the voice surviving of bullying etc etc & little re Marcus, that its pretty much in the bag for Littlemix, especially with Tulisa's teen mob of 'N'Dubs' fans! Who will keep on voting on redial, where as Gary's 'Take That' fans are older and will do a sensible refrained one vote (Two at most!) But we will see tomorrow! 



This Weeks Leather Jacket Count: (Excluding Backing Dancers!) 1 leather bodice & some leather gloves. 


Alice In Wonderland Styling: 2  Since the show started (None This Week)

Diva Styling: (Grace Jones - Micha B wk 2  & wk 4 / Tina Turner - Micha B wk 3 & wk 5 - Kitty wk 6 / Toya - Kitty wk 6) Since show started!


Star Trek Styling: 2 ( Klingon - Kitty wk 1 / 7 of 9 - Kitty wk 2 & wk 6) 

The Final Results Show, Wembley 
Sunday 11th December 

The Show Begins : The judges enter, Kelly in a gorgeous, gold brocade & pleated gold lame satin (Akin to the pleats on one of Marilyn Monroe's long gold gowns) With gold lace/brocade cap sleeved bodice & floor length, pleated skirt, at the back & a short pleated mini length skirt at the front, worn with her hair down. Tulisa wore a purple, floor length, high necked, sleeveless, clingy, fishtail dress, with black inserted side hip peplum's Roland Mouret / Thierry Mugler 'Style' with a black, leather disc, wide, round collar neckline yoke, worn with her hair down & wavy. (It like the two dresses worn last night, was not a hit, with the girls, judging by my Twitter timeline!) Gary in a black three piece suit, with a white shirt & black tie. Louie in a red shot silk polka dot jacket, black trousers, black open neck shirt. Looking like a senior, pervy, vampire from 'True Blood' 


Then it was time for the yearly mimed performance by all of this years contestant's (Except for shamed, Frankie Cocozza) It was a medley of 'We Found Love In A Hopeless Place' 'Moves Like Jagger' & 'Edge Of Glory' Johnny Robinson sang the lead into 'Moves Like Jagger' & that's the sort of song Louie should of given Johnny, when he was in the running, as it suits his voice perfectly!! As expected Kitty started off 'Edge Of Glory!' Then Marcus was up to sing, his favourite, own performance song, of this series .... Followed by the rest with theirs! 


1) Marcus Collins (The Boys)Singing 'Higher & Higher'  His styling, was exactly what he wore, when he sang it the first time round. Black trousers, and matching, shocking pink, shirt, jacket & shoes, with a choir behind him, all in their black choir gowns! Excellent performance of it again though, the song suits his voice perfectly!


2) Rhythmix  NOW Littlemix (Groups) : Singing 'Don't Let Go'  Unlike Marcus, the girls were not dressed the same as they were, when they sang it 1st time round, not sure if that's a blessing or not? They were dressed in black & white, 2 had black jackets & 2 white jackets in a variety of styles (Couldn't tell due to distance of camera id any were 'Leather' but all had large, clear, Perspex, spiked, studs, on shoulders! They started singing at the top of a tall column of stairs, which they bounced up onto from behind (No doubt on a spring platform behind) Looking like they had trampoline'd up there, They sang it pretty well, as they descended the stairs, onto the stage, and it wasn't marred by any half arsed rapping breaks! Their harmony's were tight, good job!


After more fillers & more Ad breaks & adverts than you could think possible in a 2hr show (Yet surprisingly no usual annual singing number, by the freaky, Xfactor, rejects this year! Have Xfactor got cheap? Or have they become politically correct? God knows they're normally keen for anything to pad the time out, to cash in on more phone vote cash!!) It was then time for the two acts to sing their 'Festive' song!!



1) Marcus Collins (The Boys)Singing 'Last Christmas' His styling, was OK, BUT as always, it's too, too, old for him! He's a young guy, to appeal to the young voters! He has to look young & hip, yet the stylists are dressing him, to mainly appeal to the grandparents & older viewers watching!! I think it will be the cause of his downfall at the end! They put him in a light grey, tweed check, suit & white shirt, which was very smart & not dissimilar to what his mentor Gary Barlow wears, but Gary is in his 40's Marcus is only 23!! He sang the song well, but not as good as he could sing other songs. The song is to simple to show off Marcus's vocal ability, which is what he should be doing in the final!...


2) Rhythmix  NOW Littlemix (Groups) : Singing 'Silent Night' They were dressed in a mix of ivory & beige outfits teamed with pastel soft wool sweaters with their names embroidered across the front, the blonde one who remind's me a bit of 'Sarah Harding' from 'Girls Allowed' had odd rice paper looking, large, leaf shaped earrings, with big OK's printed over it (Subtle subliminal selling? Wonder if OK magazine & OK TV get their 1st exclusive interview?) Jesy got gold sequinned leggings, but due to her top length, they gave us some shiny camel toe! As a whole the styling was a bit of a mish mash! Vocals & Harmony's good but boring, oh so boringly dull! Bad song choice. 

Then we were given 'Westlife' singing 'What About Love?' in front of a backdrop of a mixed VT of failed & successful auditions & past show performances, as a filler! Then it was time for the Xfactor's Christmas Winners Single performance. At the start of Xfactor the papers said 'Gary Barlow' would be writing the winners single, so for once they wouldn't being doing a cover version of someone else's song, but Gary said he wouldn't do if a novelty act like Goldie (The crazy Chinese woman) Won..... Well the fact that its a COVER of 'Cannon Ball' & not a GB original, what does that say about what Gary thinks of his own act Marcus & Littlemix??? 

1) Marcus Collins (The Boys)Singing 'Cannon Ball' His styling, was OK, BUT  Yet again!, it's far too old for him! He looked like a Butlins Holiday Rep!! In black trousers, white shirt & pail grey blazer with its lapels edged in dark grey binding. He sang it beautifully & his little face looks so cute when he sings, but I think the stylists have screwed him over from the start & distanced him from the younger voter/market! Which may place him as a runner up tonight, I hope I'm wrong, but my gut says I'm not!

2) Rhythmix  NOW Littlemix (Groups) : Singing 'Cannon Ball' They were dressed in the same mix of ivory & beige outfits as before but had removed the pastel soft wool sweaters with their names embroidered across the front, Jesy's gold sequinned leggings, got swapped for taupe ones, and the white red headed girl pulled her white socks up to her thighs to look like stockings! (Money scrimping saving again?) Bad song for them they were as flat as a pancake!! Tulisa's N'Dubs fans will probably vote for them until they win though...... But if I hear Tulisa calling them her 'Little Muffins' any more times ill scream, sooooo irritating!

Then it was time for 'Coldplay' to fill time by singing two songs (But only the 2nd song I would call singing!!) The 1st Song was just murmured noise, I couldn't hear or understand a word he said/sung, except right at the end when I THINK he said "Glowing in the dark" but I'm not sure, so was guessing that is what it was called. I later discovered its called 'Charlie Brown' thanks to a RT of a tweet by Coldplay! Never would of realised that otherwise! The second song 'Paradise' I know & like, and you could hear & understand the words. The Blackened stadium audience was awash in neon glow in the dark bangles & glow sticks which, looked great. 

Then the result was in & the WINNER is....... 'Littlemix' not a surprise, poor Marcus was a victim of low profile marketing & poor styling. Can't say I'd buy a Littlemix album, I'd probably buy a Marcus one though! So that's it a lack lustre final to Xfactor 2011 so what do I think of this years show? Well......

Judges - No problem with the change (Simon & Danni missed a bit, but not fussed over no Cheryl)

Gary - Liked his tough talk, but lied over Frankie's singing ability!

Louie - Normally gets on my tits, but he was more fun this year!

Kelly - Liked her but a tad annoying towards end, best outfits!

Tulisa - OK but a tad irritating at times, drop the little muffins crap!

Auditions - Boring not enough of bad auditions shown & too small a snippet of the good ones (Drop showing the mediocre, just show the good & bad/mad!) 

Judges Homes - Too many good people sent home & too much crap got through (Frankie for eg)

The Live Shows - Far too many Ad breaks, Far to much filler, far to many repeats of what we saw earlier as filler, Dermot dance routines too cheesy, bloody awful stylists (& I thought Grace in 2010 was bad!) Too many Naf guest stars, singing bad new singles. Have more quality & less quantity!

But let's let  the show's voice over guy/narrator have the last word on what he thought of this years show!! Click Link Below

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4sYYndXrJPc&feature=share


So until next year its goodbye hope you enjoyed my critique!!