Cleopatra?...... Oh Brother!!.... I'm Losing It!!...

Monday 21st March, Woke at 9am, nice sunny day out so I changed into dark grey & white TMC gym trousers, white vest top & B&W TrimSoles fitness fit flops, and went for my weekly 2hr walk in the Park, after a coffee & Oat so Simple 1st for breakfast. Then I went on to the Job Centre, to see if there were any new suitable local jobs to apply for? Then I went to the Library to print off my lines, to learn for tomorrows audition. I got home & checked my Hotmail, for responses for jobs/auditions, then updated Twitter & Facebook statuses and Chatted for a bit to *John C, he asked if I'd noticed him sat in the 'Is It Just Me' audience last Wednesday? I said 'To be honest we could only see some of the audience to our right the audience in front of us had big spotlights behind them, which were pointed at us 'The 50' so they were all in a dark silhouette so No I didn't see you!' 

I mentioned again that I had Friend Requested him on Facebook (again) in case like me, his friends, friend requests don't show up, like sometimes they don't, in my friend request section. Yet again he made no reference to that information, in his reply to me, hmmmm? We chatted about my blog (I'd sent him a link after he'd asked about it) I said he might even feature in it, so did he want his name or an *Alias to protect the innocent? He laughed & said 'Lol I'm far from innocent, but will take the *Alias!!'

Fixed myself a lunch of 2 Wholemeal Pittas, stuffed with King Prawns & Greek Salad, washed down with a caramel cappuccino, and watched 'The Real Housewives Of Orange County' Then I did a load of job & audition searches, applying for a bunch. Then I went over & over my lines for my audition tomorrow. I can say them OK in my head, when I am memorising them, but get a bit tongue tied when saying them out loud (This is when a flatmate or boyfriend would be handy to rehearse my lines with!) I continued to try to memorise my lines, while downing a few Diet Cokes until 6.30pm & then watched 'Home & Away' & then I had another Pitta with King Prawns & Coleslaw ...Yummy.

I watched the soaps, then practiced my lines again, for the rest of the night, forgetting that Glee is on! I'm still getting tongue tied on one bit of dialogue!! The rest I can recall fine (Although I keep having an urge, on occasion, to refer to Coach Simpson, as as Chief Simpson) I went to bed at 1am & read the paper. The front page is the Top Guns strike on one of Gaddafi's Military Convoys. 

Dan On 'Take Me Out'

Kerry Katona is now supposedly dating 'Dan Foden' who was on last Saturdays 'Take Me Out' No doubt this is another CAN management smoke screen, to distract from her marriage wrecking romance with her boot camp, fitness trainer!! She has known Dan quite some time, as a friend. So I'm sure he would go along with a rouse, to distract attention from Kerry's true romance. Plus having the added bonus of getting himself a bit of fame at the same time! 

 Dan & Kerry

A bit on Jordan/Katie Prices new romance (bored by it now!) Then more on the search for poor Sian 22, who vanished on Saturday, after a night out with the girls. I have a horrible feeling it wont have a happy ending!! I finished the paper & my Decaf Coffee & then went off to sleep! (Calories consumed 1,608)

Tuesday 22nd March,  Woke at 9am, I can't recall any of my dream, I had a bath & hair wash, then had some cheese on toast for breakfast, washed down with a coffee. Today at 3.40pm I Audition for the part of Cleopatra in the film 'Malay' at The St Giles Hotel, Feltham, Middlesex, which is past Heathrow. I dried my hair with a full fringe and tendrils at the side & scooped the rest of my hair up in a high ponytail & added my long curly faux ponytail on top, did a aqua eyeshadow, with black liquid liner (In Homage to the OTHER Cleopatra!) with peach lip gloss. I wore my Peacock blue/green, Jane Norman, Jersey blouse, with my black studded jersey leggings, tucked into long, flat, black boots, with my aqua Jacques Vert short jacket, and a fine diamanté necklace with ethnic looking drop diamanté earrings. 

Went over my lines again & again, as I only had yesterday evening to learn them (I wonder how long the other auditionee's have had their scripts? Or if they were all contacted last minute like me?) I really need someone local to rehearse with, I don't know what the set up is there, so I rehearsed my lines sat at my table, as if it was my office desk (my audition peace is for Mrs Richardson, as it is for all the actresses over 35) With my cat draft excluder to my right as my secretary Natalie, and the big candle stick to my left, as Coach Simpson, with my script on the desk doubling as my papers & the notification. 

The Table I Rehearsed At, As My Desk

I fixed myself lunch a pitta filled with lentil salad and some Twiglets & a Diet Coke. Then at 12.45pm I set off for the station, packing a foldable umbrella in my bag, along with my script file, just in case the sky's opened up on me while I tried to find the hotel. I got the train from St Albans to Kings Cross, then I got the Northern Line to Waterloo, then it was onto a Slough train at Waterloo, to go the 13 stops to Feltham. The hotel was easy to find as it was right by the station. 

I was a bit early, but found my way to the hotel room, for the audition, on the 1st floor (As advertised on a bog board in reception) I knocked but nobody was there (not a surprise, as I assumed they would of been having a lunch break, until castings resumed from 3pm) A few minutes later a very smiley Indian guy arrived & asked if I was there for the audition? I said indeed I was & he ushered me inside, the room that was empty, all but for a chair & small table that another man came in & sat at, writing notes.


He told me I looked perfect for the part, he said that 'Cleopatra' was the beauty of the film (Bloody hell do I get free plastic surgery with the role??) He said she is a woman in mid 40's to 50's who looks good for her age. She is married to a rich influential man, and is a bit up her self & a snob, all the lead men lust after her & she knows it & leads them a merry dance! He asked had I learnt the lines? I said 'I only got them yesterday, I know most, but I get a bit tongue tied on one of the longer pieces of dialogue!' The guy said he really liked my look, my sparkling eyes, my smile & my hair (Will you tell him or should I? lol) He made me hold up a card with my name & my character 'Cleopatra' on, then stand holding it up facing him & his Camera/Camcorder then facing left, right & with my back to him. 

He asked me of my acting experience & he asked if I'd acted in the Theatre before? I said 'No the closest I have come to acting on stage was with a Amateur Dramatics Group about 20+ years ago!!' Then he asked me to say the lines to camera, with nobody to play the coach or the secretary, which was a bit disconcerting, with nobody to respond to. I was tempted to see if maybe I could take the table & chair off the other guy, as a prop to do it, as I'd done at home, but as the guy was taking notes at it, I thought maybe best not!!


I did my lines into the Camcorder, but with nobody to bounce off & no props, it was harder to get into character, and a couple of times, I got tongue tied over the dialogue, that was getting me tongue tied at home (I could of done with a rehearsal buddy, near me at home) He said I could do it using the script, but looking down to the words for the tongue tied bit, kind of diluted the acting bit, and I was almost tempted to say 'Captain' instead of 'Coach' once or twice. I wished I could of switched 'Coach Simpson' for 'Coach Smith' as it rolled off the tongue easier (As they were NOT Cleopatra's lines anyway!!) I wished I'd been contacted sooner & had at least a day, or two more, to learn my lines in, as I knew my performance today was way off my ability's!!


The Director said not too worry too much about my lines, as they were Not Cleopatra's lines & I could have a 'acting master-class' with him before the filming began, to ensure my 'Cleopatra's lines' were embedded in my mind, before I went in front of the camera. Which I said would be great! He said that would be no problem, before adding ' If you get the part of course!!' But I felt the fact he was thinking that, was at the very least promising! He then asked me to walk towards him with a stuck up attitude look on my face, give the camera a disparaging look & then stroll off away from camera again. Which he got me to do a few times, he said he loved my look, attitude & movements. 

He then asked if I could slip off my jacket, to see my figure better? Then I had to do a few more attitude walks & then pretend I was holding a cigarette, stroll back & forth pretend to take a drag of the cigarette & repeat a comment he asked me to say (which typing this 6 days later I can't recall) He said he loved my look, which was ideal for the part, & my smile & attitude. He said 'goodbye' adding to fill in my details, on the form on the desk, by the lifts, in the foyer outside, which I did. 

Then it was back on the train to Waterloo, then the tube to Kings Cross, getting to Kings Cross Northern Line at 4.05pm. Giving me just under an hour to get to my 5pm Acupuncture appointment, in the good old days Id just have a flight of stairs to go down from the tube get on a Thames Link train to St Albans. But now after the refit to make it into, Kings Cross International, there are now, several long escalators & long walks, to get out of the underground area, then a long concord of shops to walk past, before getting to the overground trains! 

I got to the barriers & inserted my ticket, but it wasn't working, I was told by the guard that I couldn't use it until after 7pm, I'd have to get an extension ticket, If I wanted to get the train now!! WTF?? Apparently I have an Off Peak ticket & it's now 4.25pm & Peak Time is 4.20 - 7pm! Well it had taken me bloody 20mins (at a fast pace!!!) To get from Kings Cross, Northern line tube, to my overground train barriers, due to the stations shit design!!! And why the fuck is 4.20pm 'Peak Time?' Most jobs finish at 5 or 6pm so Peak Time should be 5-7pm it's a bloody rip off, cash cow, they should not make Peak Time any earlier than 4.45pm (For getting those who might leave work, a tad earlier!!)


So I went to the ticket office, taking up more time, meaning it was unlikely I'd get to my acupuncture appointment on time, Grrrrr!!  I was charged a £4.50 single ticket, from Elstree Borehamwood to St Albans. As the zones 1-6 on my travel card ticket, are not affected by the Peak Time prices (So really only non Londoner, commuters are really hit by Peak Time fares then!) £4.50 Which is bullshit as that's the price of a single ticket at Off Peak hrs, between St Albans & Elstree (You are not telling me that at Peak Times the two stops from Elstree to St Albans costs £9) I have already paid £4.50 each way from St Albans to Elstree & back again, on my London Travel Card ticket. I should only be charged the difference between a £4.50 Single Off Peak ticket from Elstree to St Albans & a Single Peak Time ticket from Elstree to St Albans & I do NOT believe the price is double!!! My audition has now cost me £19.50 instead of £15, as I had my 5pm Doc appointment, so I couldn't kill time until 7pm & save myself that extra £4.50!

Due to these delays, despite me walking like a power walker on speed. I got to the Doctors 15mins late at 5.15pm, but I had my acupuncture, which yet again, hurt like hell!! But hopefully we are starting to get somewhere now, he said he'd see me in 2 weeks time & I headed home, hungrily munching on a bag of Wotsits!! I got in Watched 'Home & Away' then fixed dinner. A grilled & cubed tuna steak & had it in a wholemeal pitta, with lentil salad & green olives. Yummy!! 

Then I updated my Facebook & Twitter statuses, then I checked my Hotmail & discovered that, Award Winning Photographer Philip Gatwood, had given me a recommendation on StarNow saying  'Very professional and a team player. Highly recommended.'  After my Automatic Weapon Modelling Shoot, which I thought was really nice of him!

I chatted a bit to *John C on Facebook (who still hasn't accepted my friend request!?) He asked how the audition went & asked if I could meet up in Reading? I said sorry but, the added audition expenses had done me in financially, so I think I will have to take a rain check, unless situations change!!

Then I read the paper, front page news is that Madman Gaddafi's son, Khamis has been killed, by a Libyan pilot. The poor boyfriend of missing Sian is saying 'It's breaking our hearts not knowing where she is!' It must be awful for him & her parents! A Postmaster husband, who murdered his wife & made it look like a raid gone wrong, killed her, due to her multiple affairs. On a amusing note, pranksters are driving supermarket shelf stacker's crazy, by a new game, using letters on spice pots, to spell out rude words, posting the results on Facebook, in the latest Supermarket Scrabble Craze lol I like!!

The Royal Mail are axing 3,500 jobs, it's said that cuts will raise fears over quality of the Royal mail. But I doubt it will make much difference! My mail service has been bad for years, with both not receiving stuff that I have been sent, or stuff that I have sent not being received (You just see recent grief from brother about that!! To know the grief it causes) I even had problems with my post, when I lived in Bounds Green, North London, which my local MP 'Michael Portillo' tried to get sorted out for me! 

 Katie Piper

 Katie Price

Apparently, Katie Price, dumped Alex, over his dress sense. I have to admit, he did dress badly most of the time. Then I watched the 1st of this weeks 'Supersize V Superskinny Kids' on Ch4, they have such irresponsible parents. Then 'Katie: My Beautiful Friends', about the brilliant Katie Piper, ironically shown at the same time, that Katie Price's new show, on Sky, is being aired. So Twitter was full of Katie comments. Then I watched 'Shit My Dad Says' on Five Star, which was followed by 'Lilly Allen: From Riches To Rags' on Ch4+1, then 'The Big C' I then read the rest of the paper, before crashing out for the night! (Calories consumed 1,527)



Wednesday 23rd March, I woke at 9am I'd dreamt about being out with an ex Gideon, also something about my Mum & Dad shopping, but for some reason, they would only buy things that were Black & White, and my mum was buying some burlesque like lingerie. I woke wondering what the hell that was about?? Elizabeth Taylor has died aged 79, my mum looked a lot like Elizabeth Taylor when she was young, like her as a teen in 'National Velvet' and like her in 'Cat On a Hot Tin Roof' when older.   

Elizabeth As A Teen In - National Velvet

Mum At 15yrs Old

Elizabeth Taylor In - Cat On A Hot Tin Roof

My 1st Christmas With Mum

I had sugar free Alpen & a coffee for breakfast, had a wash & did natural make-up & tied hair up in high pony tail, after I'd massaged some Satura Pro into my scalp. I wore my cropped khaki jersey lounge pants with my white, scoop necked Petite Bateau, long sleeved T-shirt, with my B&W TrimSoles & khaki sleeveless body warmer. Took down the nets at my kitchen window & door & swapped for clean ones, putting the dirty ones in the wash (I'm not a fan of nets, but as so many undesirables these days, tend to wander into my courtyard, I need them for privacy!) 

 
I did a bit more weeding in the garden & cleared away more cans, bottle, sweet wrappers & the sandwich packs dropped in my courtyard by the lovely general public & bin-men (THANKS!!!) I did the washing up, with fairy Pomegranate & Honeysuckle washing up liquid (red colour) It made the whole kitchen smell lovely, then I fixed lunch, a cheese & lentil salad sandwich & a packet of Wotsits washed down with a Diet Coke, which I ate it while watching 'The Real Housewives Of Orange County'

Tamra Barney

Tamra Barney was being a right bitch, trying her very best at her supposed etiquette dinner party, with the help of her son Luke, to get Gretchen (in Tamra's words) 'Naked Drunk' obviously down to jealousy, that now that 10yrs younger Gretchen has come along, that she has lost/is losing 'The Hottest OC Housewife Crown' Wanting Gretchen to get drunk & maybe get off with her son, or hit on other guys at do. So she could accuse Gretchen of being with her OLDER fiancé (who's dying of Leukaemia) for his money & brand her a gold digger, when Gretchen is in fact, so sweet & genuine! And I tweeted on Twitter about Tamra trying to get Gretchen Drunk. 

 Drunken Gretchen

I was surprised & delighted when, shortly after Gretchen DM'd me on Twitter. I wrapped up my 4 eBay sales & packaged up Andrews two Christmas presents & Alex's Christening present & card, plus his Christmas present into a box & took with the eBay parcels to the Post office (as Bill never came down south for me to give to him & I'm too broke to send all the Xmas presents for his family in one go) Especially as I have to send via registered post, as obviously a few items have not arrived, that I have sent. No doubt he will surmise I have only just bought them, well if he does, sod him! I sent him the lightest package 1st & that cost me £5.95 that I can ill afford!

I got back did a bit of gardening, then fixed myself a dinner of grilled tuna steak, with green leaf & 3 bean salad, plus a Diet Coke to wash it down with. I then did some job searches & checked my emails & found a email from the producers of  'Is It Just Me' saying I'd played my part to perfection & it looks very promising that the show will be commissioned, so they would like to keep me on file to contact to be 1 of 'The 50' should it be made for TV!! Great that sounds very promising! 

I chatted a bit to *John C on Facebook, he asked if I was up for meeting him tomorrow? I said I'd like to, but due to spending £19.50 on fares for my audition Tuesday & then having to fork out another £15 for fares on Saturday for the 'Losing It' premier & backers meeting. I just don't have any cash to spend for travel to Reading. He said he would have to investigate Reading alone then. He seems nice, normal & genuine, yet two things are still bugging me. 1) Why do I know his profile pic from before he messaged me? (I have a photographic memory, especially for pictures) & also 2) Why has he ignored my friend request? He said it was a good Idea when I 1st mentioned it & ignored the subject when I mentioned I'd sent it again on Monday! Has he something to hide? Something's not quite adding up somewhere!


I watched 'Home & Away' I didn't feel hungry enough for a proper dinner, I was just a bit peckish, so just had a big bowl of Alpen. I did the washing up & watered the plants. Watched 'Supersized V Superskinny Kids' How can those parents allow their kids to be so fussy & starve/gorge themselves to that state? I have to say the sliced sections of real dead body's (Damion Hurst style) One normal, one fat & one skinny are fascinating!! Then I watched 'The Truth about Lions' followed by TOWIE (The Only Way Is Essex) The two new girls Chloe & Gemma are just Odd!! Mark proposed to Deluded Super Bitch, Lauren. That will last shorter than a pair of 10denier stockings worn working on a building site!! The best reaction to the news was Arg's. shame poor lovely Lucy had to get hurt tho! 

I got a text from my friend Stephanie Ledigo at 9pm saying 'R u busy Friday drinks in Soho???Xx' Damn I'd love to go but too broke!! I text back 'I'd love to hun but sadly I'm too low on funds this time!! XX' Then I watched that shite 'The Model Agency' as there was bugger all else on! Carole White was asked to choose from 3 of the entry's of 'America's Next Top Model' in last Saturdays Buzz Magazine, the 3 models were Chelsey Hersley 23 (A skinny, yellow, bleached, blonde with hard features) Jane Randall 19, (A beautiful, slender, honey blond) & Anne Ward 19 (A pretty Auburn haired girl with a revoltingly distorted malnourished, skeletal looking body) who did Carole White pick as to who she'd sign up?..... Yep!! The skeletal, dead woman walking Ann Ward!! YUCK!! nice face shame about the skeleton! 

Ann Ward - America's Next Top Model?

More people text & emailed me saying Louie Spence's Showbusiness has got repetitive & boring & they wished the gang & I were in it, to liven it up! I read the paper Madman Gaddafi has broken cover & continued to slaughter his own people! A bit by Jane Moore on 'Harlem-Laren' the moronic, worthless, piece of shit, nobody on 'Jamie Oliver's 'Dream Team' on Ch4, who will no doubt end up in a young offenders unit, a jail, working as a prostitute or drug dealer, or dead in a few years time! 

Still Think An Oriental Diet Is Healthy?

Family & friends of missing Sian O'Callaghan searched the woods where her mobile phone signal died, I just hope she didn't meet the same fate, but I think sadly she has! There was also the horrific pics of the Chinese 3yr old (see above) who ways 9st & wont stop eating!! Think he needs to go on Supersize V Superskinny. I spent the rest of the night finishing last weeks blog, I will add pictures & check grammar tomorrow! Got ready for bed & applied the Satura Pro & Satura Rosta & crashed out at around 1am (Calories consumed 1,396)

Thursday 24th March,  I woke at 9am, to a beautiful sunny day, had a wash & massages Satura Pro into my scalp, got on the scales my weight has stayed stable, changed into my dark grey & white 3/4 gym trousers, my white long sleeved Petite Bateau T-shirt, my silver grey cardigan & my white sleeveless body warmer & B&W TrimSoles, then after some sugar free Alpen & some coffee for breakfast I went for a 2hr walk in the park, in the sunshine. My neck & shoulders still ache but not as bad since last 2 acupuncture sessions, so I think next week is when I start hitting the gym again like I use to, and get back to a size 8-10 again, ready for summer!!.... Bill should get his package today, or tomorrow, it's recorded delivery, so unlike Alex's 1st Birthday Card it can't get lost! (Well at least I hope it can't!)


I hung my clean nets up to dry, then did some household chores then popped to the shop for a paper & some diet cokes. Nicky text me, about a mutual friend, who is being a bit neurotic at the moment! I watched 'Loose Women' & '60 Minute Makeover' they have a new female presenter on 60MM which is putting me off watching. I have no idea who she is? But she is bloody awful!! She has appalling posture & stands like a hunchback. She asks really boring mundane question's, she has no personality whatsoever, and a awful droning monotone voice, that makes you want to self harm, to drown it out!! Who the hell is she blackmailing/blowing to get this gig??  

I made a Egg Mayo sandwich & had with some Branston mini Cheddars & a decaf Diet Coke, and watched 'The Real Housewives Of Orange County' I did some job searches & applications & spent the rest of the afternoon finishing off last weeks blog & posting it! I discovered I had a Direct Message from my friend *Jonty at 5.15pm saying 'My ex read your blog. She wants to pick you up in her Bentley and take u to Soho for lunch, She isn't a lezbo, but really likes you and finds you interesting. She just finds you fascinating. What do you think? Reply via email. xxx' I have to say that's one of my more unusual messages for quite some time! He made me laugh by reassuring she me that she wasn't a lesbian, as a fag Hag I am hardly likely to be uncomfortable about it, even if she was gay! Sent him a email, saying unusual message, tell me more!!? Jennie called me up & asked me to come over hers at 8pm, so at 7pm I made a tuna steak, with green & three bean salad for dinner.

Got to Jennies at 8pm & heard all about her night out with the school mums, Edgar & the darts team & the church committee events. Soooo not my kinda thing! Had a coffee with a Caramel Chunky KitKat. Watched 'Supersized V Superskinny Kids' the Supersized Indian girl was a brat!! Missed 'Love Thy Neighbour' this week as 'My Big Fat fake Wedding: Panorama' was on. 


Watched 'Celebrity Juice' which was very, very funny. I left Jennies & headed home at midnight, I'd received a text from my brother Bill, earlier at 10.33pm saying 'We got your presents 2day june. Thanx x'  Well I didn't bother answering, as he didn't bother to, when I text him last Wednesday, and I hardly have any credit left, so I'm only using when necessary! I got home took off make-up & did my Satura Pro & Rosta routine & then went to bed and read the paper. The budget and Elizabeth Taylor's Death was the front page news. Also yesterday was the hottest day of the year so far, at 62-64 Deg Fahrenheit. Cops reckon they may find Sian today & hopefully alive! They think she may have been picked up by a rouge cabbie or someone who knew her.  (Calories consumed 1,594)

Friday 25th March, I woke at 8.30am to a beautiful bright sunny day (ooh maybe this year we will have a good summer?) I dreamt that I was working as a beauty Concession Manager again, but in America, and I was working with my Greek friend Nikki & Candie again. I was clearing out a draw of rubbish left by the last Manager. I was going somewhere with Candie, carrying a carrier bag full of paperwork, when I suddenly panicked that I'd forgotten my purse!! But found it after rummaging under the papers, then I was with Jennie & I had received a mobile phone bill, in the hundreds of pounds & I was Irate, as I'm on 'Pay As You Go' & I said "if you have gone beyond your, credit they should not let you call, so you top up not continue to let you text & unknowingly run up a massive bill!!" Woke & wondered what the hell that was about?

 Reiss Vest Top

TrimSoles

I had a shower, then massaged Satura into my scalp, tied my hair up in a high tight ponytail & did a natural make-up, then dressed in my khaki cropped, jersey lounge pants, with one beige jersey camisole top & pistachio, Reiss jersey Vest tops, and my B&W TrimSoles. I popped to the shop for the paper & two Diet Cokes, lovely & warm out like a April/May spring day. Got back in made some sugar free Alpen & a coffee for breakfast. Then went out into my courtyard, did some more weeding, watered the plants & cleared the huge amount of litter. But as I don't have a broom, I couldn't sweep the courtyard of the 1000+ fag butts the loiterers drop there (I don't even soddin smoke!) I was really pleased with the finished result of my little bit of garden.


I went back in at 3.40pm to watch 'The Real Housewives Of Orange County' then did a bit of garden pruning, then had a veggie sausage & boiled egg sandwich, with some Twiglets, washed down with a Diet Coke, then watched 'Come Dine With Me' & 'Home & Away' My mobile went just as it started & it showed up as my brother Bill's wife Karen. I answered it and it was my little nephew Andrew, calling to thank me for his Christmas present, he wasn't on long, but was sweet, guess Bill/Karen got him too. (Maybe Bill feels a tiny bit remorseful for his harsh words now?) Then after some housework it was dinner time & I grilled a tuna steak & had with green leaf & 3 bean salad, washed down with a Diet coke. Mike called me at 7.45pm they'd been away with their son Ryan to Disneyland, chatted for a bit & then Watched 'Supersized V Superskinny Kids' How can parents go so long allowing their kids to starve/gorge themselves without intervening? Which ones the kid & who the parent??!! 

I was invited out for drinks in Soho with the lovely Stephanie Ledigo, who is my friend who Co-manages 'The Daylight Theory' Shame I'm so brassic, I'd of loved to have caught up, I'm near hers in Brick Lane tomorrow, but she's busy with The Band doing a gig. Shame the premier wasn't on Friday (today) I could of gone there 1st & then gone on to Soho & met up with Steph & the band afterwards! I was having a coffee & some Wotsits at 10.36pm when Simon Cole text me, saying 'EMP!!!!!! Can you please come to London tomorrow, for drinks in Soho...... I want to have drinks & giggles with you!!!!! X'  How funny, so I can do my Film Premier tomorrow & meet Simon in Soho after, just like I'd just said, I'd of liked to have done with Steph!! ... I text him back saying I would be in London tomorrow to see a premier of a short film I'm in, so I could meet him in Soho prob from 9pm, but brassic so can't afford a late one!!

Simon Cole

My friend Ian had to give one of his model boarder / house-mate, a months notice, as her room was a mess, with stuff everywhere, with dirty plates of food & Chihuahua poo all over the bedroom floor that had been there for days. Well that and stuff left all over the flat, and plates etc piled high, unwashed, and although he pointed out (politely) that those issues needed addressing. Sadly the filth just continued, until he felt he had no choice but to give her a months notice (If only her male NUTS fans knew how filthy she was, but not in the way they'd like her to be! - they'd be shocked!!) It really pained Ian to have to tell her to go, especially as he loved her little dog (in spite of the poo all over the floor, which wasn't the dogs fault, as he was locked in the bedroom for hrs, with no walks to, go to poo/wee) Why she didn't get a litter tray, for the room, I don't know? Anyway ever since he gave her notice, she has been acting a bit odd, at home & on Twitter and posting cryptic Tweets, or ones as if she is about to commit suicide! Really melodramatic!! Today's ones were obviously aimed at him. Honestly honey if you were not so skanky & unhygienic you'd still be a tenant!!


Chilled with the paper, that poor pretty girl Sian O'Callighan, has been found murdered, 6 days after she went missing, after going clubbing with her girlfriends last Saturday. A 47yr old cabbie has been held accused with her abduction & murder, it's said he has confessed to a 2nd woman in the same area in 2001. There is also a 5 page special on The Night Stalker, in the paper, Britain's worse sex attacker. Who picked on the old & frail, one a woman of 89yrs, this sick bastard was also a cabbie. I have written in a earlier blog how I think I had a lucky escape, when I think was in, sex attacker John Worboys cab once, many years ago!


Repulsive  squatter Jason Ruddik mentioned in earlier blogs, plus 7 others quit a £4Million house, as it was not plush enough (cheeky c**ts!!) saying it didn't have any modern amenity's, complaining the Hampstead house didn't have a swimming pool, he admitting he'd become accustomed to squatting in luxury apartments. He added "this one didn't work out, I want somewhere posher!!" Cheeky git I wonder how much damage his skanky crew did to the £4Million mansion & how much rubbish had to be cleared away!! I also heard via Twitter, that Mylene Klass has named her new baby GIRL, Hero Harper Klass WTF!!? Poor kid!!  & then went to bed at 3.30am (Calories consumed 1,502)

Saturday 26th March, Woke at 6.50am....thanks to Orange Mobile Network, texting me to say 'I have won 5 new photo messages' (oh great, whoopee doo!! My present cheap phone doesn't even take photos!!) Bloody texting me in the wee hrs of a Saturday, what the hell were they thinking?? Sod Off!!.... I did recall my dream on waking, which I know was quite complex, but both FireFox & Internet Explorer were not responding on my note book, so by the time I could get into this blog, I have forgotten it, except for the fact Bournemouth & Pool in Dorset was in it somewhere Grrrrrrrrr!! 

I went back to sleep until 10am & then lounged in bed until noon, listening to the radio. Then I got up made a coffee & ran a bath, then checked my emails while it filled & drank my coffee. Had a bath & exfoliated myself & removed hard skin from feet (oooh sexy lol!) moisturised & then washed my hair, rubbed the Satura Pro into my Scalp before drying my hair. Dried hair straight with a full fringe, dressed like I did for 'Cleopatra' audition as its colder again today, the sky looks grey & I think it may be raining, when I set off to the 'Losing It' screening later (bugger!!) 

I did my make-up with a iridescent peacock green eyeshadow, by Barry M & a aqua Versace liquid liner, with toffee lip gloss!! I popped to the shop to get a paper, but they'd sold out so popped to Tesco's for one. I got in had brunch of Quorn in a cheese & herb sauce, on a bed of crushed new potatoes in their skins, to keep me going until tonight, as Angus had said the Premier of 'Losing It' was catered. My friend *Jonty had messaged me on my hotmail (re his unusual Twitter inbox Thursday) saying 'Basically one of my ex's has been following me on twitter and finds you fascinating. She wants to take you to lunch, just to get to know you. xxxx'  Which was somewhat unusual, to be honest, but nice to know someone, other than a horny man, finds me interesting! Who knows, we might have a lot in common, I messaged back 'Well to offer to pick me up & buy me lunch, she obviously knows how broke I am at the moment lol, and if she has a Bentley I'm sure she has a much more interesting life than me, but what the hell why not? If she dated you I'm sure she must be a nice girl!' Then I put hair up in a high ponytail & put my long curly fake ponytail over the top! *Jonty got back to me a while later saying Good. My twitter account is all fucked up at the moment J but hopefully I'll get the IT geek at work on the case on Monday. She is the real deal and just really finds you so fascinating. She loves your blog too.Next time you are in London, give her a few days notice and she'll meet you and take you for lunch.*Jonty xxxx  Which sounds fare enough but hard to do until he gives me her name & mobile/email details, lol.


I did a few online surveys to kill time before setting off at 5.30pm for the station, putting a foldable umbrella in my bag, just in case. Text Simon Cole en route to station to see if he is still up for meeting in Soho?? He said sadly plans had changed & he wouldn't be coming into London adding 'I want to see ya soon though we need a good giggle' Seconds later Ian called me, asking if I was on my into London? I said "Yeah just at the station now!" he asked if I was up for meeting up in Soho after the premier? I said "Yep!!" He said 'Great I know Simon is dying to see you again!!' 

I said I'd just spoken to Simon he wasn't coming into London now!! Ian was saying how he was dressed in Lesbian Drag for his lesbian friends birthday, who was having an 'L' themed night, he said if he had more cash he'd of got a virgina costume as 'L' for Labia I laughed & said 'Maybe just as well, they'd all be saying you looked a right Cu*t all night!!' He laughed & said 'Yeah your right!!'

I Jumped on the semi fast train to Kings Cross, then got the circle line to Liverpool Street & got to the Premier venue at 7pm, said "Hello" to Angus. He introduced me to the backer, a small Indian guy who I chatted to for a while & I also got chatting to my two other witch co stars, in 'The Fortune Teller" Sarah (a rather Marilyn Monroe like blonde) who's name was Dorsett (quite a coincidence, as I was dreaming of Pool & Bournemouth last night) and also a Greek/Italian looking Francesca. 

I also bumped into Nigel who played an airman in 'Losing It' and was in the pub at the 'Losing It' rap party. The Girls & I got stuck into the Carva, as there was a big free bar, but there was NONE of the catering, that Angus had mentioned in prior emails (I wished I'd put some snacks in my bag!!) The girls & I were talking about Fate, Tarot, Ghosts, Premonitions etc due to it's connection, to the next film of Angus's 'The Fortune Teller' that we are all in. 

Later Angus got up & did a speech, I don't know if it was due to nerves, the beer or the recent sunny weather? But Angus had a face as red as his hair & beard!! Speech over he sat on the front row, with Francesca, Sarah & I, and watched the film. It was really quite funny, and made sense of some of the odd stuff we had to do in our rolls, I spotted myself in my unattractive blue overall & bun in quite a few shots, when it was finished it got a rousing round of applause. Did some more schmoozing & Ian called at 8.50pm to see if I was coming yet? I said doing a bit more socializing then I'd be heading into town.


I chatted some more & asked Sarah if she wanted to come to Soho with me?? She said normally she would, but she had a hot date tomorrow so wanted an early night! Nigel piped up he'd come, just as Ian called again at 9.50pm (Blimey where did that hr go?) He said they were now in the other Ku Bar off Shaftsbury Avenue. I said I was just heading off & I'd see him soon! We walked back down to Liverpool Street Station & got the circle line to Kings Cross, then changed for the Piccadilly line to get to Liecester Square. We passed the original Ku Bar & went to Shaftsburry Avenue, walking up & down trying to find the 'Other Ku Bar' with No Joy!! So I asked a bouncer outside a club/bar in Shaftsbury Avenue, where the 'OTHER' Ku Bar in Shaftsbury Avenue was? NOT the one in Soho!! I followed his instructions & found myself outside the original Ku Bar 'IN SOHO!!" FFS!!!!

 The Ku Bar, We Were Looking For

 The Ku Bar, they Directed Us Back To!

I text Ian & he called back, saying he thought I wasn't coming & was now in 'GAY Late' Why did he think I wasn't coming? I'd said I was on my way, when he last called (The journey from the East End to Central London, takes a while) I said never mind, I was pretty tired (and absolutely bloody starving!! As there was no food catering at the Premier, only a Free Bar!!) So I headed back on the Piccadilly line back to Kings Cross. My train wasn't until another 30mins so I rushed to Costa Coffee & got a Tuna Salad Sandwich, which I devoured like a famine victim!! I was still ravenous when I got to St Albans & knowing that my fridge was bare, I got a Halumi wrap & a portion of French fries, at the Turkish Kebab restaurant near the station & attacked it with vigor, on the way home!! The wrap did the job, so 90% of the Chips ended up, uneaten in my fridge, to get heated up in microwave tomorrow. Then crashed out in bed (not even removing my make-up!!) shattered!! (Calories consumed 1,729)

Sunday 27th March, I woke at 6.30am (Which with the clocks moved forward, is now 7.30am) My bad neck & shoulders is back bugger!! Well I'm not letting that ruin my plans, to get back in the gym next week!!! I downed a load of pain killers, from my bedside draw & tried with difficulty to get comfortable enough in bed, to sleep again!! Eventually I fell asleep again & then woke at 10.30am (which is now 11.30am) With my neck & shoulders in so much pain I want to cry, which was not putting me in a good nor friendly mood. I'm not sure I will be able to wait until 2 weeks, for my next acupuncture session. I might pop down this Tuesday, to see if he can fit me in? The pain is so bad I feel physically sick, also think I may have a cold coming too!! As I am really struggling to breathe today, my sinuses & adenoids are making me feel like I'm suffocating, just like when I had pneumonia!! If I dreamt last night I can't recall it? Got up & got on my scales & I have lost 1/4lb since Thursday.

Eventually got myself together in baggy Khaki lounge pants & beige vest top around noon, putting me way behind schedule, to do all of the things, that I had planned to do today!! My neck & shoulder pain was also going to hinder the progress of that too!! I piled hair up into bun & didn't bother with make-up as felt too rough to bother due to the pain. I had some Alpen for breakfast, after buying some milk & a NOTW from the shop & swept kitchen floor with dust pan & brush & mopped it, cleaned bathroom, did washing up, cleaned kitchen surfaces cupboards. Washed my faux fur bed throw in the bath as its too big to fit in the machine & the launderette in my street, where I use to do it, is closed down now. Then I hung it over two stands outside to dry in the sun. Hoovered the lounge, bedroom, hall & stairs, then ironed my clean sheets, pillowcases & duvet cover & re made my bed.

Stopped for a coffee & some Branston Pickle Mini Cheddars, & some more painkillers & quickly checked my Hotmail, Twitter & Facebook. I had lots of messages from people on Facebook & Twitter saying I was on the repeat of 'John Bishops Britain' last night talking about Diets & also in a clip on 'Harry Hills TV Burp' in a clip taken from the OMG cougar convention (lol) while on Facebook I added Sarah, Franchesca & Nigel. 

Then I started sorting some of the things I'd piled in my bedroom, lounge & on my upstairs landing, but it was causing me too much pain in my neck, shoulders & arms, so I had to stop. I took some more pain killers, then warmed up last nights chips to eat. As I was in too much pain to be able to enjoy a full meal! Later I watched myself on 'Harry Hills TV Burp' then watched the Final of 'Dancing On Ice' writing my critique of it as I typed (which you can read HERE!!) Had to lay down after as the pain in my neck, shoulders & arms, was so bad I felt weak & absolutely shattered!! Went to bed & watched the film 'Infamous' then went to sleep, as I felt so bloody awful!! (Calories consumed 1,138)

Is It Just Me? ....... But........

Monday 14th March,  I dreamt, but can't recall what about? Woke at 9.30am to a bright sunny day, lovely! This Monday feels so much more positive, than last Monday, with it's Sunday Migraine hangover & the bitter taste of family disappointment. In a week I have gone from deeply Hurt, to Angry & then onto 'You just can't reason with Ignorance!' So I've decided to stop caring, you can only hit your head against a brick wall, for so long! If he can't love, or respect me, for who I am, or appreciate, my tough situation, then I am afraid it is his loss..... even if he is too pigheaded to realise it!! 

I had a wash & washed & dried my hair, then twisted it up into a French pleat, I did a light make-up, then Bob text me, to say he had been chosen for the Endimol pilot of the new show 'Is It Just Me' too, so he'd see me Wednesday. (I'm The Cougar & He's The Cockney Geezer!) lol typecast much???....


I dressed in 3/4 dark grey gym trousers, with white side stripe, black/white TrimSoles, light grey, V-neck long sleeved Petite Bateau T-shirt & white body warmer, then popped out for my 2hr walk round the park (in nice weather for a change!) I got chatting to a quite hunky, tall, rugby type, South African, with a cute Springer Spaniel, that was all over me (Which was how conversation started) I got home & Put a black wash in the machine, then made myself  a veggie burger with 2 Quorn burgers & some salad in a bun & then headed off to Iceland & got £25 worth of shopping, with £25 of vouchers, as my fridge & freezer was empty, that should last me 1-2weeks (depending on hunger pangs!!) 

I got in & did a job search, but only found 5 new ones, that I'd  not already applied for already, today. I applied to all of them. Then I watched The Brilliant 'Real Housewives Of Orange County' which I first saw on Bravo, on Candies TV, when I was decorating the interior of her home for her. Now its on ITV2, it's an old series but it means I get to see when, my favourite Housewife, Gretchen, when she joined the show, and try & suss out why the other Housewives are so bitchy to her? So far, as far as I can see, its Jealousy, as she is younger and prettier (She is 30 they are in their 40's) Candie says Vicky's mannerism's & some of her attitude reminds her of me, which is quite funny, as Jeana, who is Vicky's best friend, reminds me in some ways of Candie!!

Gretchen & Vicky (Me?)

Jeana (Candie?)

I watched 'Come Dine With Me' I thought this was a new series, but you can tell this is shot on cheaper film, the whole look is different, as is the picture quality & lighting. So this must be an old series. I filled in my Census Form, I was expecting loads of questions & in total it asked less than half as much, as a housing benefit form! And why they want to know, if anyone will be visiting you on March 27th I don't know? What if you say NO & then somebody pops round on the 27th unexpectedly (Most odd!!) I watched 'Home & Away' and had a snack of salt & vinegar crisps, plus a Diet Coke. Then I began writing, last weeks blog (As thanks to my darling brother, after originally getting up to date with my blogs. I was too upset & in too much pain, from a stress induced migraine, to write last weeks) I watched the soaps, then 'How To Live With Women' followed by a double bill of, the brilliant 'The Event' really glad it's back I love my sci fi. Then I read the paper. 

There was more on the Tragedy in Japan, in the paper, after their devastating Earth Quake & Tsunami. But there was one bit of joyous news, a 60 year old man was found alive clinging to what was left of the roof of his house, for two days, 10 miles out to sea. Meanwhile in the West Midlands UK, a 3yr old kid has been treated in hospital for alcoholism (WTF) It is thought he was given booze repeatedly for 6 months (Why..... to knock him out?) 

Burger King's, Global Chief Executive, has told students in Chicago, that in the UK, the food is terrible, and the women are not very attractive (I was curious as to where in the UK he had actually been??) It seems Warwick was the answerer (While he was at university there) Never having been there, I can't comment on his opinion.

 I'm Not Sure about Warwick 

But Liverpool Has Some Stunner's!!

More on useless New Labours money wasting contracts, this time £17,000 spent last year on watering NHS HQ's pot plants, that works out as £140 per a pot plant (Madness) if the office workers can't water them themselves, then remove the pot plants from the offices. The over priced contract, was negated by surprise, surprise New Labour. I watched the Final of the 'American Apprentice' then had some fun, chatting on Twitter with @ClareAtCan (A spoof of Claire at CAN Associates) & then went to sleep (Calories consumed 1,576)


Tuesday 15th March, I dreamt that, I had moved into a house with big, roomy rooms, the kitchen was very large & the big kitchen table had left over food on it, from former tenants, pizzas etc... People who seemed to be helping me move in, were picking at it. So I threw it away to stop them, as I'd seen flies landing on it. But I kept food that was in the freezer and still fresh, the house was in London & I thought, 'Wow I'm back in London again, that's going to make auditions & getting a job easier!!' I had 2 Irish Wolfhound dogs and some other dogs (Can't recall their breed) and a cat which was very affectionate to the dogs, washing their faces. I also had a donkey & rode it up and down the road, that I lived on briefly (God only knows what that is all about!!) Woke at 9.30am in a lot of pain due to neck, shoulders & back problems. I have yet another Acupuncture session at 5pm, I hope this has some affect it's not had any recently.

It's another bright day out, I put a green/blue wash in the machine, had a wash, put on some make-up then headed to the shop for some milk & a paper & then had some Alpen for breakfast. I watched 'Loose Women' took the blue/green wash out of the machine & hung it up to dry & put in a black wash. Did a job search Nothing New that I'm suitable for today, so I checked the New Auditions on StarNow, and I applied for 11 New ones. Then I watched 'The Real Housewives Of Orange County' (I love ALL the Real Housewives Shows!) Other than jealousy I still don't know why, the other housewives are so unpleasant, to the lovely housewife Gretchen? She is lovely, she's my favourite & they really give her a hard time! Her Blog can be found on my Blog List, to the right!! ------->

 

The Lovely Gretchen

I had a home made ocean pie, with cod & king prawns for lunch, I had it with a green salad, very tasty even if I do say so myself. I then popped to Boots and got some MaXfactor foundation, with the last of my Vouchers (As the only foundation I have at the mo, is for when I'm tanned in summer) I'm so pasty at mo, I haven't even got under my sun-bed in ages! (Maybe I should, it might ease my neck pain!) Then I went up to my doctors, for my much needed acupuncture session. It really hurt, when the needles went in, today (Probably due to the fact there is so much stress in my body) 

My right hand side of neck & shoulder & right arm, were pulsating painfully, when the needles were in this time. I got home, hung out my black laundry & put a white wash in. Then I did the washing up, the kitchen floor badly needs mopping again, I decided I'd either do it later if my arm/shoulder/neck pain dies down, or Thursday, or after filming tomorrow! I caught a clip of myself, in a show promo Ad, for this weeks OMG on ITV2 at 9pm

I messaged my friend lovely Simon Cole (Who use to be in Hollyoaks) to say I was filming in London tomorrow & did he want to meet up with me & Ian after, for a catch up drinkipoos? As he is back over here from the USA for a bit (Where he has been working on his career as a Country & Western singer) He said he was in the UK, but not in London until Saturday & was I around then? I said it depends on if I had any filming then, if not, we'd catch up soon, anyway, as he is here for a while! I watched 'Home & Away' the best soap on UK TV. 

My Friend Simon & I In Piccadilly Circus

Then I made dinner, a marinated, grilled, Quorn fillet, with green salad, 6 cherry tomatoes, 4 pickled onions & a small packet of McCoy's cheese & onion crisps, followed by an apple. I did the washing up, then watched 'EastEnders' (Depressing as always) then 'Lion Country' (Brilliant as always) I chatted a bit online, then I watched 'Lilly Allen: From Riches to Rags' Quite ironic as the weekend before last, when my brother had badly upset me, I got it out of my system, by singing her song 'Fuck You' (Click on title to hear song, with music video) Singing it on repeat, on the top of my lungs, definitely helped!!......

Watched 'The Big C' that made me think of my Aunt again. Then 'Snog Marry Avoid?' It makes me laugh how the show is all about natural beauty, yet it's presenter Jenny Frost with her dark roots, fake tan & bleached or veneered teeth is totally fake & not natural. Then 'True Stories: Marilyn, the Last Sessions' I have loved Marilyn Monroe, since a I was a small child. I read the paper, a single, 37yr, Truck Driver, Matthew Breach, won £17.8 Million on Lotto rollover (I wonder how many gold diggers, start hitting on him?) Apparently, Peaches Geldof shoplifted a £70 dress (Obviously wanted a OMG!! headline)

There was a pic of some boots, that looked like horse hooves, they are a limited edition, zip up design, in both long & ankle length selling at £1,300, at The Cheltenham Festival, with the profits going to charity. Odd as it sounds, other than the price, the only thing I don't like about them is, the black zip against the cream boot. If it was cream I'd like them, and wear them, even if some people would think I looked a little foalish!! Ideal for Ascot Races lol. I went to bed at 2.45am (Calories consumed 1,518)

Wednesday 16th March, I woke at 9.15am, put on the TV & had a wash, had a Golden Syrup, Oat So Simple & a coffee for breakfast, then went & washed my hair! I massaged 'Satura Pro' into the front of of my scalp, then piled hair up with a bulldog clip, while I did my make-up, a subtle, aqua eyeshadow, with smokey grey smudged liner, and caramel lip-gloss, then dried my hair with a full fringe & then pulled up into a high ponytail, with wisps at the side framing my face & added my faux long curly ponytail, over my own, as they asked me to come in character as "The Cougar" 

It was Very Cold again today! So I went in 'Winter Cougar' attire as opposed to 'Summer Cougar' attire (Slinky dress & heels) So it was the peacock green, Jane Norman, jersey/satin blouse, over black studded leggings, under long black boots, with my aqua Jacques Vert jacket, on top, with diamanté jewellery. Packed my Moschino shopper, with The Sun paper, to read on the journey, 2 Diet Cokes & a couple of packet of crisps (In case I got hungry & thirsty out!) Plus my electric blue, pashmina, just in case I'm still not warm enough! 


My friend Kathryn (Check out her Beauty Lovers site on my blog list, to the right of this blog) Said, that there was a whole bit on a Sheffield woman, who has trailed 'Satura Pro' with one of the TV Execs at ITV (Like I'm doing) with amazing results, on 'This Morning' around 11.30am today. But that was too late for me, to be able to watch & ensure I got to my filming of the 'Is It Just Me' Pilot on time, at 2pm. Despite how vile my brother was to me, the other weekend, I still text him to say, to 'Watch This Morning at 11.30am if at home & possible, as there was a product I'm trialling on there, that may be very useful to you & is available via a local Sheffield woman on there!' Of course he didn't reply & I have no idea if he watched or not? But at least I know, that I wasn't petty & at least, tried to show him something, that could be of use to him, whether he chose to watch it or not! I made myself a veggie sausage & boiled egg sandwich, before I set off, as I didn't know when I'd next get to eat, probably 6 or 7pm if I'm lucky?


I set off at 11am, in my long black coat, drawing out £20 from the ATM to pay the £15 travel fare with, at the station. I got a receipt for the 1-6 Zones Travel Card, part of my journey, to be reimbursed by Endimol. I caught the 1st London train, a stopping one, reading the paper en route. I arrived at Kings Cross & then I got the Hammersmith & City line, to Edgeware Road & walked the long route down the Edgeware Road, then up Frampton Street, right down Capland Street, then on to Gateforth Street, to The Cockpit Theatre. I got there bang on 1.50pm & was given my release form to sign. Moments later Bob called me on my mobile, I said I had just arrived & he said he was just parking up, and did I want him to find a coffee shop & bring me a coffee? (Bob's such a gentleman, the sweetheart!) I said no need there was a coffee bar, just off the foyer, in the Cockpit Theatre. He said he'd see me in a tick, I said I was just popping to the ladies & I'd see him in the foyer. 

 The Cockpit Theatre Coffee/Bar Area

I exited the ladies, to see Bob filling in his release form, then we retired to the foyer bar area & Bob bought us both a coffee, and a double brandy chaser, to warm us up! We were chatting for a bit, when we saw the petite (About 4ft 10") American woman, we'd met, when we did the filming of the tour of Essex, with Jack Whitehall & Denise Van Outen. She was sat opposite waving & she  joined us at the bar. We'd found out from her last time, that she use to pole dance in a club in Vegas & that her dad was a Mafia, Hotel or Club owner, in Vegas & that she fled to the UK, after a Mobster attempt on her life (We have yet to discover why!?) Where she'd got shot (She'd have a fascinating Biography if she writes one) She has fake boobs & said she was planning more work soon. While chatting in the Foyer Bar, we further discovered she was actually a well known USA 'Porn Star' (That news perked Bob up lol) She was telling us about working with US Porn Star, Ron Jeremy & was showing us clips on her phone!! She got Bob & I to pose for a pic with her (She is tiny) & we looked like giant minders either side of her! She said she would add us on Facebook & tag us in the picture.

The Cougar, Boob Job & Cockney Bob

The foyer was really filling up & I was feeling quite hot & sweaty, when eventually, our bunch of 50 were called. Again I am not going to give you more than scant details of  what Endimol's show 'Is It Just Me?' is about. Even though there was some mention of it in Sundays NOTW (Despite it not being commissioned, as of yet!!) So as not to spoil it for you, when it's commissioned & is shown on Ch4 (Which after what I saw today, I am most certain it will be, as it was bloody hilarious!... I haven't laughed so hard in ages!!) I will tell you the host is, as of the moment, Comedian Rhod Gilbert, best known for his stand up on subjects such as 'Bedding' (Which you can view Here) or a 'Torch With The Power of A Million Candles' (Which you can view Here) Who is very funny & was suffering with a bad cold, so had a Vick's inhaler up his nose, a lot!! 

 Rhod Gilbert

Next to him is a panel of 4 comedians/quirky celebs. Then there is a wall of the 50 (This is where Bob, The Porn Star & I came in) Think of BBC1's 'Test The Nation' a wall of typecast/pigeon holed public, except instead of being a group of type, like in 'Test The Nation' the 50 are an assortment, such as (Essex girl, Boob Job, Cockney Bob, Cheeky Chappie, Yummy Mummy, Just some Bloke, Computer Geek, Life Coach, Gym Bunny, Cougar etc) The wizard guy, that was on 'Take Me Out' on the Saturday I was upset by my brother, was one of the 50 too! Then there is also a studio audience. 


When we (The 50) were called upstairs en mass, we were given the run down, of the pilot run through. And given out badges, 'Cougar' for me, 'Cockney Bob' for Bob, 'Yummy Mummy' for 'OMG cougar' Ruth (Who was also there) & oddly 'Boob Job' for our Porn friend, rather than Porn Star!? We had just 5mins to pee, before we went into studio. So I quickly popped down to the ladies in the foyer. Through a group of people that were to be the audience. A group of young guys (Late teens to mid 20's) let out an amused murmur, amid the word cougar, with a giggle, after obviously clocking, my Very Large Badge. Back in the holding area the 'Cheeky Chappie' said to Jay "Are we going to be sat in coordinating groups? like The Cheeky Chappie & The Cougar?" Giving me a sideways glance & a raised eyebrow, causing all of us to burst out laughing! Then we headed down to the studio.


Bob, the Porn Star (Forget her name) & I were sat at the front, of one of 'The 50's' sections, that faced the comedians/celebs & the audience. Each of 'The 50' also had a handset with a Yes or No button, plus a Red & a Green card, the celeb/comedian panel had a Yes & No handset too, plus a light in front of each that could go either Red or Green (But to know why, you will just have to wait for that show to come out!)

Today's Comedy/Celeb panel was an inspired mix, Comedian Jarred Christmas, Comedian Holly Walsh, Actor/Presenter Joe Swash & Funny Presenter/DJ Iain Lee. 

 Jarred Christmas

 Holly Walsh

 Joe Swash

Iain Lee

The warm up guy interacted with me, the Porn Star & some of the audience & we had some banter, at one point he asked me "As a  Cougar what do you do, to attract a younger guy?" I replied "Watch ITV2 at 9pm tonight & you will find out!!" He pulled out a young lad of about 21-23yrs, with a student like bum fluffish beard, saying how about him? (I think he may of been one of the young group of guys in the foyer, when I went to the ladies) I said "He's quite cute, but I don't like beards!!.... but I guess I could straddle him & shave it off!" The warm up guy said "That sounds like a Rapist not Cougar!" I smirked & then waggled my right palm, side to side & joked "Hmmm the the two are quite close at times!!"


The Show started & so now, I can't tell you much, except, it was hilarious. I haven't laughed so much in ages, Jarred Christmas did something, that involved a video tape & a flashers Mac, Holly Walsh did something very unpleasant, orally with Rhod, Joe messed about with a young boy & Iain told his old work mate of 12+ years, something shocking over the phone! That was quite uncomfortable to watch & I was (& still am) in two minds about whether it was real or not? But what I will say is, if he was faking, he has a 3rd career in acting looming, as his reaction & tentativeness, to person on phone, his interaction with Rhod during & also interaction with fellow panel after, was very convincing!! 

I can also say Joe was very intrigued by the Porn Star & I (Both re our boobs & as to whether we worked together!! Once he knew that she was a Porn Star, when she told him) He even said to the Porn Star, Bob & I "Are you 3 together & can I join in!!?" He was also intrigued 'Surprise, Surprise' by 'Pretty Girl' & 'Essex Girl'. Iain Lee also interacted with us a bit & one of 'The 50' (The Welsh Guy) said I was abnormal being a Veggie, and seconds later as the convo moved on. I kicked myself for not saying to The Welsh Guy "Well you don't expect me to eat Lamb, after you Welsh buggers have been shagging it do you??" (Damn it coming to me, seconds too late) There is also a 3 person, story choice, with the chance for them to win 50grand. Plus The 50 will be a permanent weekly panel. More than that I can't tell you, or it will spoil the novelty of a brand new show for you, but its good ohhh so good!! 


We wrapped at about 5-5.30pm & Bob rushed to his car to check the metre hadn't expired & I rushed to get my coat & bag, ready to collect my £8 towards expenses. Bob came back in as he still had 5mins left & we got chatting to funny, but charming, Iain Lee. Though at one point he said to me "Sorry but I can't help staring at your breasts!" Which wasn't his fault, as in 'Cougar' attire they were pretty apparent & Iain is so tall that, looking down to talk to me (Despite me being, a tall girl myself) The Girls couldn't help but be in his eye line!! Bob & I looked for the 'Porn Star' to get her Facebook name to add her & get pics she took. But she'd vanished.

Bob had to rush off, before he got a ticket & I headed off, as I was heading out the door, Ian Mann called me, on my mobile, saying to meet him in Piccadilly before heading home. So I jumped on the Bakerloo line to Piccadilly & met up with Ian, at around 6-6.30pm, Ian was a bit peckish, so we popped into 'Yo Sushi'. Fresh Sushi but at 'Rip Off' prices, two 50p size round pieces of Sushi & 2 coated orange segment sized bits of pumpkin & a glass of water for £7.85, when you can get a tray of 8 pieces of Sushi in Tesco's for £3.99 or less!!! Madness!!!

Yo Rip Off

We chatted for a bit & I told him how funny 'Is It Just Me?' was, then when he'd finished eating, we headed off to Ku Bar for a drink (1pnt Cider) & then onto The Retro Bar (Another Pint of Cider) where another guy said, that I reminded him of Catherine Tate (Yet again!!) Does a look alike career loom? The bar was pretty packed for a Wednesday & we sat on stools, at a kind of DJ area & it looked like I was sat behind a bar & Ian took a picture. 

9pm came (When the Cougar edition of OMG was starting, with me on it) Then my phone went CRAZY with texts, lots from Nicky & one from my friend Alan (One of Sid Jameses sons) Saying "  U looked Amazing on OMG well done June"   Which made me think, 'maybe it wont be too cringe worthy then!' 

Ian & I chatted to the barman for a bit, then at around 9.30-10pm Ian Jumped on his night-bus & I got my tube to Kings Cross & then my train home & managed to get home in time, to catch myself on OMG on ITV2+1 & cringed when the 'world peace' line was left in, the camera was also shooting from below, when I was stood on the stage (Not the most flattering of, up the nostrils angles!!) But I was reasonably amusing, plus got the most camera & talk time of the cougars & name checked, so might get something out of it. 

But wont hold my breath as the show is such a dud!! I had another veggie sausage & egg sandwich, as I was famished, then eventually crashed out at 1am, after reading Facebook & Twitter messages about me on the show (Calories Consumed 2,383 WHOOPS!!)


Thursday 17th March, woke at 8.30am, had a odd dream, where I had moved home again, to a big house. I was out somewhere with my late Mother & my Brother and they said "wait there a sec" & then went off somewhere. I was stood for ages alone & it got cold & began to snow on me, in the end I went into an entrance to shelter & keep warm thinking 'They know my mobile number, if they need to find me!' But when I stepped inside, I discovered it was a shopping mall & as I wandered around, I saw my mum & brother sat in a cafe, in the mall, drinking coffee & eating cake, laughing, surrounded by bags of shopping. I was stunned & thought 'How could they say wait a minute, then go off shopping & having coffee & cake knowing they have, left me out in the cold? How could they just abandon me like that?' I couldn't believe my mum of all people would do such a thing, it was so not her!... I got up had a wash, I got on the scales, I have gained 1 1/2lb (That will be all the bread & crisps yesterday!)

I had some Golden Syrup, Oat So Simple & a coffee for breakfast. Scraped my hair back in a pony tail & wore what I wore on OMG without the hat & accessories! Slapped a neutral make-up on & popped to shop, to get a Sun newspaper. Got back in, collected my dry laundry off the radiators & separated it in 2 piles (1 put away & 2 iron) I put away the put away pile, then decided to hang my 18" Beehive wig upside down, as on the wig head stand, it is shrinking lower & poofing out wider! 

Santander have finally sent me my online banking details, or rather they have finally arrived (Thanks so much Royal Mail!) So I can now log into my account (The years backlog of bank statements, never arrived as promised though, so I guess I will have to trawl through it all online now!!) For regular readers wondering...... NO my keyhole surround, has not been put back on my door yet, after being promised to be done, about 4 weeks ago & despite the fact, that it's almost been a year, since the inept maintenance guys, of my letting agency, painted the door and removed the keyhole surround & NO after eventually putting a sealant on my window ledge, it still hasn't been painted! Useless Arseholes!!.... I HATE INEPTITUDE!!!


Had lunch of 2 marinated Quorn cutlets (Cooked then allowed to go cold) with a green salad, 4 cherry tomatoes, 4 pickled onions & some coleslaw. With a mini pack of cheese & onion crisps on the side. Did the Washing up then hoovered the lounge. Then I had to re organise, the back room, after it got messed up a bit after searching through things, to get to my Hat Box, for my photo shoot with Automatic Weapons, for Award winning photographer, Philip Gatward, last week. That was fun, but boy are those Automatic Weapons heavy!! Pic Below

Watched the 'Real Housewives Of Orange County' did a bit of plant watering & took out some rubbish & then it was 'Come Dine With Me' time, then I caught up with Yesterdays 'Home & Away' that I missed while out, on Channel 5, then today's, on Fiver, then it was dinner time. So I had Grilled marinated Quorn fillets with green salad & sun dried tomatoes with feta & apple for dessert & Diet Coke, Then watched 'EastEnders' (Depressing & rubbish as always!!) 

I then watched the unpleasant Yorkshire Villagers on 'Love Thy Neighbour' bitch about, two new pairs of contenders, for the cottage, in their village. An awful bunch of bigots, that should keep any UK tourists from their village. this week it was a dull couple, versus a druid couple (Who are friends with the guy, who was dancing half naked, on 'Louie Spence's Showbusiness') Talking of which, most of the people I know, have stopped watching it. As they said it got boring and repetitive. So if I am on again (I wont hold my breath, as it seems they only want losers, to laugh at) I wont know, as no pals will be watching to tell me.

Then I watched 'Chuck' & 'The Mentalist' while writing this blog. Then I watched the amusing, animated, 'The Ricky Gervais Show', then had a decaf coffee. 

My Manager @ClareAtCan

She's Gonna Make Me A Big Fat Star!!

Then I chatted for a bit on Twitter, @ClareAtCan & I had a bit of rapport going & It was now playing out that, I was her new client & I'd received the Contract on KFC scented paper, which I signed in Mayo & Mustard. Which I sent back to her in a Kebab envelope, in a cab, along with the deep fried contents of my fridge (Including the deep fried fridge itself) as stipulated, in the said contract. In return, I was sent a crack pipe & a self harm manual & told to be in an abusive relationship by Mon, for the paps on Tues lol. Eventually went to bed, to sleep at 1.30am (Calories consumed 1,376)


Friday 18th March, I had a dream about living in some house, and my mum & dad were there, and it was my birthday & I accidentally found my present mum & dad had got me, it was a kit to make about 10 pairs of ugly lace gloves (By hand) that you then sell, to raise money for charity. I was a bit disappointed, but said nothing. I went out with mum down the high street & I was talking to mum about looking for work & we stood still a moment, I was saying, how  it was really hard, to get a interview for a beauty retail job, at the moment, despite being highly qualified for one & I said I really needed to get a job with a large Dept Store, as they paid better than smaller chemists like 'Boots' & 'Superdrug' As I said that, a guy behind me said "That's a shame I was about to offer you a job" I turned round to see, that we were stood outside of 'Boots' & the MD was behind us... oops!! I quickly said "No don't go, wait, I want a job what is it? I can start straight away!!" I went into the store with him, but by the time I woke at 8.30am I still had no clue as to, what the job was to be, or the wages!

Got up & had a Golden Syrup, Oat So Simple, for breakfast and did the laundry (A black wash) made a coffee & popped to the shop for a paper (Still no news of the death of the Crossbow Cannibal yet, sadly) I watched a bit of morning TV, while doing my job searches & applying for jobs & also for auditions. Then once I'd done that, I re manoeuvred, my large cheese plant, in the living room & tied up some of the leaves, as to not hang over the sofa & watered my plants. My Orchid has at least 8 flowers on it at the moment. Then I fixed lunch, a roasted Quorn steak, with sun dried tomatoes stuffed with feta, 4 pickled onions & some coleslaw, with some salted crisps on the side, washed down with a Decaf Diet Coke. 

A guy called P*** Rambo was chatting me up on Facebook saying he saw me on OMG & was hassling me to add him (I only usually add those I know) He kept going on saying to add him, adding that  "He's a nice guy!!" (My normal thinking is, if you need to tell someone your a nice guy, your probably not!!) But as he was friends with fellow OMG Cougar Brigitta & Heidi (Also on 'Take Me Out') & he seemed chirpy enough, so I gave in. Even though, he so wasn't my type & was coated with Tattoo's all over him (Which I'm so not into!) We had a bit of a chat, in between long gaps in conversation, during which time he'd clicked 'like' on a few of my pics. I chatted a bit & briefly looked at his profile & a couple of pics, he looked like, Mr fun, party guy! All chunky Rugby muscle type & coated with tattoo's, his surname is obviously fake & no info on profile, as to if he's single married etc, plus no info re work, he seems to be living up North Yorkshire way. 

From his Pics I would imagine he works in a bar, or club, or as a doorman. When I asked him what he did, he said he worked with disabled kids, but when I talked of an incident, I had while working with disabled kids, he never told me any 'working with kids story's' back, which made me suspect it was Bull Shit & only said to make him seem caring & deep! Anyway at some point, later in the evening, when bored, I decided to click on his profile & have another look, to suss him out & it was set to private again, as he'd deleted me as a friend, WTF?? I tweeted 'Why would someone beg for an add & then a few hrs delete you?' The common consensus among the guys who responded to my tweet was, that he was a 'Wank Bank' collector..... 

Apparently, these guys get you to add them, then they trawl through your pics, copying all those they consider wanking material, then if they get that your not the kind of girl, who is going to flirt back with them & get dirty online, maybe even have webcam sex, they delete you, as they have what they need for their next Wank!! How Fucking Sad!! Well he did ask 'What would you do to me, if i had been in the OMG audience, when you was on there as a cougar?' I said 'The same as I did to all the other cubs..... NOTHING!.... it was just a set up bit of fun! I was not remotely interested in anyone!' Guess that meant he knew that, other than his stolen Wank Bank, he was going to get bugger all else from me it seems! Saddo!


Hung out black wash to dry & put a white wash in, watched 'Home & Away' then made dinner, a Tuna steak grilled with coleslaw, pickled onions & salad with some cheese & onion crisps. Its 'Comic Relief' on BBC1 from 7pm to 2.35am, which I will be avoiding, as it's never funny & no doubt James Corden will be on, doing some self indulgent 'Smithy' shit sketch, which will just irk me! While his sycophantical tongue, is so far up celebs arses, he can lick their larynx. So instead I opted for 'Corrie' & perving over Pierce Brosnan in 'Die another Day' while writing last weeks blog. I had a coffee, then went off to bed at 1am, my neck & shoulders have been less painful since my last, quite sever, acupuncture session, lets hope it gets better after my one next week! (Calories consumed 1,775)


Saturday 19th March, woke at 9.45am if I dreamt I can't recall it, got up & had a wash, then had some Oat So Simple for breakfast, plus a coffee to start the day with. Wore Dark jeggings & my over-sized, Grecian like, draped top, massaged the Satura into my scalp & pulled hair back in a high tight pony tail! 

 In My Baggy Grecian Style Top

Popped to the shop & got a paper & a couple of decaf Diet Cokes. Then put a green/blue/lilac wash in the machine, before going on line to check my emails, Facebook & Twitter & then did my job/audition searches & applications. I had a surprise when I went into my Facebook messages, as I received one from a stranger (Lets call him *John) saying....

Hey June,

I hope you don't mind me messaging - I just wanted to say hi, that and that I thought you were great at Rhod Gilbert's panel show - you were definitely a highlight of the afternoon.Well, I took your recommendation and watched OMG (hence finding you on here), what an excruciatingly terrible hostess Peaches is!

Anyway, I hope you are well.

*John C

Which really surprised me, yet impressed me at the same time, he tracked me down quick a career in MI5 & MI6 looms!! We chatted for a bit & he seemed refreshingly normal (Most 'But not all' of those who contact me, after seeing me on TV, are a bit odd!!)  We chatted for a bit & he said if he was ever down London way he'd give me a shout, & If I was ever near/in Leicester to come say hi, I said will do, we chatted a bit & he said "Come to think of it how near Reading was I?" Adding he was working there Wednesday & we could meet up for a drink, if I fancied it? I said I'd check to see if there were buses that go there, from here. Once I'd discovered it was 35miles away, it would also depend on the bus fare & my finances too, as I'm broke still, we continued talking throughout the day. 

I know he was definitely at 'Is It Just Me' pilot as he spoke of things only someone there would know (& I'd not posted this blog) Yet his profile pic was so familiar, like I'd seen it before, but we don't seem to have any mutual friends Odd? I then did some online surveys. Mikes sink has sold on eBay, so once the money has gone into my paypal account & then into my bank, I'll pay him the money!

Quite nice out, so cleared some of the litter off of my courtyard that the bin-men & locals have dropped all over it (Lots of it all over my plants) I did a bit of weeding, will do more later when its more warm, my daffodils are out now & some of my mauve plants (Erysimum) that I got from mums garden, so ironic the name ends in Mum. Did a load of housework, listening to Capital Radio, then stopped to have lunch, Quorn & lentil salad, a Diet Coke & a chunky KitKat. Then I read the paper, 

Hung the laundry out to dry, did some more housework & the washing up then watched 'Harry Hills TV Burp' then I made dinner a thin crust vegetable pizza, with a Diet Coke, then it was the final 'Take Me Out' There was not any blokes I'd go for on tonight. I did the washing up, then it was 'CSI Miami' time & 'Stand Up For The Week' then I realised I'd missed the brilliant 'The Tudors' Shit!!... Then I continued writing last weeks blog, desperately trying to Catch Up! I had a decaf coffee & some Branston mini Cheddars as I had the munchies, watched 'The Ricky Gervais Show'. I then did more of my blog & had a bit of a giggle with @CatFunt_ and @ClareAtCan on Twitter before, applying 'Satura Pro' to my scalp & 'Satura Rosta' on my lashes & crashing out at 2am (Calories Consumed 1,839)

Sunday 20th March,  I fell asleep about 3am & was woken at 4am by my mobile going off, the persons name was not in my phone (Although it may have been in my damaged one!) & whoever they were, was chatting with someone & they had obviously sat on the phone & had bum dialled me. I kept saying "Hello!!"  But they obviously were oblivious, to me, so I hung up & eventually went back to sleep. I woke at 10am can't recall any dream, I got up, had a bath & massaged 'Satura Pro' onto my scalp, then slipped on a electric blue, velour, lounge suit & my TrimSoles, then popped to the shop to get my NOTW & looked at The Sunday Mirror, as TV Kev told me he was mentioning the cougar convention on OMG, I laughed when I read it. Got in & chilled with the paper a bit.


I had a cheese & coleslaw sandwich, with some Twiglets & a Diet Coke for lunch, then I cleared more crap off my courtyard, that had amassed over night. I found I had a message on StarNow from a film company, wanting to know if I can come for an audition in Feltham Tuesday? For a main role NOT an extra, that will film April-May for £120 a day? The Character they want me to audition for is Cleopatra, I really can't afford the £15 fare, especially as I need to come into London for the premier of 'Losing It' (Which I'm in) & to meet the backers who, will be backing the other film, 'The Fortune Teller' which Angus sent me a script for (For me to play Felicity) 

 Losing It!!

But can I really afford to not go? when I could get the part & earn some money (As they approached me, not vice versa, so obviously they liked what they saw, from my clips on my StarNow profile) I will have to go to Library tomorrow & print off my script & learn it if I decide to do it. I'm going to think on it over the afternoon, it's a long way to go & I have a much needed acupuncture appointment at 5pm hmmmm,  but they obviously saw something in me to contact me!? I definitely need the money too! As well as the satisfaction of having a job!

I put the situation out there, for my friends on Facebook & Twitter & they said to go for it, as there is a chance I might get it & I'd be kicking myself, if I didn't at least try. I watched 'Dancing On Ice' while writing my critique on it (You can read that HERE) Then during the break, before the results show, I made a King Prawn & lentil salad, with some coleslaw on the side, and made myself a coffee. Then watched 'Duran Duran: One Night Only' & then the 'Dancing on Ice Results Show' 

Then it was time for new TOWIE - 'The Only Way Is Essex' The Porn Star, from the 'Bus Tour' & 'Is It Just Me' said Wednesday that she was in the promo video for TOWIE (A kind of English 'Hills' for you American readers) But I couldn't see her, it's hard to spot someone, sometimes, unless you know where to look, it's amusing how nice 'Faces' interior looks on the screen, but the reality, when I filmed there, is it's actually a tiny, little, dive. 

There were two New characters, Car saleswoman Gemma, who was like a Young common version, of a Lobotomised Vanessa Feltz, who Kirk tried to fix up with his dad (He must hate his dad) & Chloe, a supposed Playboy Bunny (But I think this Bunny has Myxomatosis!!) A freaky looking stick insect, with fake boobs, with teeth like Janet Street Porter, after Veneers, false lashes so heavy that she can't open her lids properly, so she looks like she is squinting 24/7 & then there's the horrifically distorted, pumped up lips, that make her look like the female Gremlin from 'Gremlins 2' it's Freak City Arizona!! Lauren Goodger was as vile, and deluded as ever tho, Amy & Harry as dumb as ever, and Mark as cute but opinionated as ever, Arge has gained 3st, but he is still the nicest & most normal of the lot!

Amy Gives 'Bunny' Chloe A Spray Tan - TOWIE

Finally finished last weeks blog & posted it chatted a bit on Twitter & Facebook, then read some of my Marilyn Monroe book, I finally decided I'd go to audition Tuesday, in the end, so emailed them back & got a 3.20pm time slot. I will print off my lines to learn tomorrow, chatted some more to *John on Facebook, I said we'd chatted so much we might as well be Facebook friends, he agreed & so I sent him a friend request. It looks like a busy week next week. If I don't get expenses for travelling to my film audition, I may not be able to meet *John in Reading. Went to bed at 3am (Calories consumed 1,839)