Showing posts with label Evil Barbie And The Ken-Dolls. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Evil Barbie And The Ken-Dolls. Show all posts

Sunday, 19 September 2010

Rain Rain Go Away!!....before I go Gaga!!

Monday 13th Sept & the week started no doubt as it will continue from now on, cold & rainy, I tried warming up by getting some exercise running round the park with husky Aku, I haven't seen my friend John & his dog down the park for some time now, he use to have two Tallulah & Minime her daughter, but Tallulah sadly died of Cancer last year, maybe he takes Minime out at a different time these days, Choc Labrador Stanley use to be in love with them both (can't blame him they both were lovely!)

Tallulah & Minime
The Late Great Tallulah


Went home & sorted a lot of paperwork that needed doing & sent off some emails & Job applications for some Management positions in Fashion Retail. Then I continued to sort some more of my Late mums things from the back room before chilling in front of the TV for the evening, while the rain continued to lash down outside. Watched the soaps & the remake of "Bouquet Of Barbed Wire" (I loved the original version in the late 70's early 80's) & The Inbetweeners very funny, the Speedo incident made me think of my friend Camp Richard at My friend Nat's Birthday Dinner after party! in May 2009. Then I watched Rita Sue & Bob too (made in 1987) for a humorous bit of nostalgia, I remember watching that for the 1st time round Nat & Terry's. 



Tuesday 14th September & the weather was the same cold, dull, doom & gloom with more rain, did some food shopping & paid off some bills owing, & posted my Sisters Birthday Card for Wednesday. My friend Jennie & her husband are back from their month away at their house in Greece & said to come over to their place in St Albans Thursday night, my friend Ian phoned & asked was I aware about the official Big Brother Farewell Party? Our mutual friend Jonty (BB8) had been talking to him about it. I said yeah Mario (BB9) had been talking about it & a few other friends, he asked if I was going, I said I wouldn't mind but not that fussed, I don't think my friend Richard Newman would be going & after what happened at Celebriparty last time, thanks to BB7 Aiselyene I'm less keen than I would be, as she would no doubt be there, trashed as usual, maybe she should change her name to Trashlyene!!


Made a Tuna Melt Jacket Potato & salad for dinner, the media is all going crazy about Lady Gaga & her Meat Dress at the MTV Awards (where she won 8 Gongs) I don't know what all the fuss is about, its meant to be real meat, but I'm not convinced it looks like the latex used in special effects in Horror movies etc if it was real blood would squeeze out when ever she sat down on it, squashing blood into her cars upholstery (saw no bin bag or clingfilm covering on the Limo seat she got out of) also it would of gone all over her seat at the Awards (I saw no covered seat there) & the blood would squish & run down her legs every time she sat down!! (but her legs were clean as a whistle all night!) they can claim it was real meat all they want, to create the hype, but it sooooo wasn't! anyway why the fuss people go round in leather & fur all the time which yet again is a butchered animal, but nobody blinks an eye!! except PETA members!!..

I watched Celebrity Come Dine with Me, staring Debbie McGee, Lembit Opik , Ian Lee (who I love, he's so funny) and Jodie Marsh, which was a good CCDWM & Jodie won. Jodie is a friend of my friend *Jeff, and I was chatting to her a few months ago about a character doll I did of her, when we were both on Big Brothers Big Mouth together & I asked her about Twitter as I was sure it was a fake Tweeter on there pretending to be her, she confirmed that it was indeed fake & she doesn't do social networking such as Twitter, Facebook or Myspace & to give them hell on her behalf! She (the fake Jodie) kept insisting she was real, after I outed her, she began messaging Ian Lee on Twitter when CCDWM was on & I informed him she was a fake & of course after a few red herring Tweet conversations, with her himself, he was soon Tweeting that @JodieMarsh was a fake, as was her old profile @MissJodieMarsh (how sad pretending to be someone else!!)
The REAL Jodie Marsh

Watched 71 degrees North & caught up on some DVD's borrowed from my friend Nicky, UP (very Good) The Hangover (below average) & Precious (So So, but not as good as I was expecting) then went to bed & finished reading a book (that came free with Cosmopolitan magazine) called "What The Hell Is He Thinking" by Zoe Strimpel (can't say I'd recommend it!) it is either common sense, or not fully believable, my BB8 friend Gerry's Book "Treat Them Mean, Keep Them Keen" is Far Superior!!.... I highly recommend it, especially for those young lady's who are new on the dating scene! to buy click on the YELLOW link below....



Wednesday 15th Sept, My Sister Julies Birthday arrived with more dark Sky's & rain, got a text from the Gym Trainer saying her car had a flat & she had to fix it so the running club was cancelled this morning! So I got busy sorting more of mums stuff, and going through old magazines to throw out (or rather to give to friends & local hairdressers) Watered the house plants & put a load in the washing machine. Grabbed a Sani & ran & did a few errands in the rain. got home & caught up with some DVDs before I have to give them back to my friend Nicky. Mario (BB9) messaged me on Facebook Re 8 out of 10 cats, & I said he took the Jibes well!! (all but one were cut from the transmitted show)

Mario & Wife Lisa, Makosi & Aiseleyne

Checked my Audition sites for my NEW Ken-Dolls & checked my hotmail & found a email from Emma Thomson, Endimols Casting Assistant on BBBM, saying she was now working on Endimols Dating In The Dark & would I be interested in going on it?

I emailed back why not, as all my friends had said you'd be really funny on that! Plus it will be a laugh, I'm not expecting to meet Mr right, as only 2 men in my life got fully into my heart (one past, plus one present & they know who they are!) She said Brilliant you would be great on there, I hoped you'd say yes! & sent me the show form to fill my details in via email.

Some of the questions reminded me of the time I tried out dating sites & the papers lonely hearts, back in the days I was working as a Manager for Versace, in Central London & the only men I was meeting were my male gay colleagues & the married male customers, plus I was too tired after working long hrs, to go out looking at nightclubs & bars for Mr right in the evenings!


So I tried them both, as my friend Candie had once suggested I try the lonely hearts Ads (as that’s how she met her husband Costa & she'd only answered his Ad for a laugh) so never one not to give something a go, I put in an Ad in my local paper & Alistair answered immediately, he said he was 33 (2yrs younger than me at the time) and had been a successful millionaire business man, so had been able to retire early, but was bored with all the time he had on his hands & with nobody to share it with. He said he’d asked his chauffeur where all the lovely single women were? as all he saw out on the pull was drunken ladettes, and the chauffeur said they were more likely at home tired after a long day at work & with little time to go out, hence why he tried the small Ads.

He said he lived in Hampstead (I lived in Bounds Green, near by at the time) & he had 2 dogs & was animal mad like me, he said his sister said she couldn’t understand why he was still single when he was so handsome. So we arranged to meet, although his voice had a slight "Janet Street Porter" twang to it on the phone & I imagined "Ken Dodd" Teeth, but reminded myself of what his sister apparently said. He said he would be wearing gray flannel trousers a pail blue shirt & a navy blazer, I said I’d be dressed head to toe in baby pink, and we arranged to meet in Ruby In The Dust, in Muswell Hill for a pre drink before dinner (as my friend worked there & so if anything bad happened to me, she could identify him)
Janet Street Porter
Ken Dodd

The Day of the date arrived & despite saying he’d be there earlier than the stated time of 7.30pm he was not there when I arrived, so I took my place at the bar, my friend who worked there Nancy said I looked gorgeous in my pink chiffon cocktail dress, pink mules, matching bag plus pink crystal jewelry & I explained I was on a blind newspaper Ad date & described what he said he would be wearing, I had my back to the door, but Nancy behind the bar kept her eye on it, suddenly I saw her face drop & her eyes widen like saucers (oh shit don’t let it be due to my date I thought)

Hello said a familiar voice, showering me with spit, I turned to see the supposedly 33yr Alistair who was at least 55-65yrs old (or life had been obscenely cruel) he was indeed wearing what he said, but he had forgotten to mention the various food stains that came with all of those items! His teeth were a lovely teak hue & looked like they had been thrown in his mouth & stayed wherever they landed, and he sprayed spit from behind them whenever he spoke. He looked not unlike Sir Les Patterson (the Barry Humphries character other than Dame Edna) I could now see Nancy doubled up in hysterics down the corridor that led from the bar & she had dialed our mutual friend Ben to come down to take a look in disbelief. Alistair bought me a drink  a Vodka & Tonic plus himself a coke, and Ben sat Grinning at the other end of the bar, doing thumbs up signs (I’d turned him down for a date a few weeks earlier, as I didn’t want to risk ruining our friendship)

Sir Les Patterson & His Food Stains

He said his chauffeur couldn’t get the car started so he'd had to get a cab, hence his delay, still in shock (if his sister thinks he is handsome how rough is she? She probably makes the woman with her face ripped off by a chimp look hot!) I struggled to make conversation & so mentioned his dogs in passing & he quickly put his hand in his pocket & pulled out a bunch of photos of them on a 4 poster bed (now I love my pets, but I don’t carry round bunches of photos of them!!) I continued to dodge his spit & a while later he suggested leaving the bar to go to dinner. (Now I should of made my excuses & left there & then, but it meant leaving a smug Ben & a giggling Nancy behind & also part of me wanted more of a story to tell my friend Candie, when I compared my experience of Lonely heart Dating to hers) he said he knew a nice restaurant locally, or we could get a cab to Hampstead & have dinner there & go back to his after (it should come as no surprise I chose local)

So off we walked & arrived at Toff’s Take Away/ Restaurant Fish & Chip Shop, with two immobility scooters parked on the pavement outside (his & hers how apt I thought) we joined the queue & I was perusing the menu stuck to a wall, as we stood in line & I thought the salmon at least sounded nice! Alistair was obviously a regular & the guy behind the fish fryer area said to take a table & he’d be over to take an order shortly.

So we sat at a plastic table, with a plastic tablecloth, on white plastic garden chairs, and the guy turned up with menus that never got a chance to be viewed, because without even asking me what I wanted Alistair ordered for us both! The King Prawn Starter to share, a Side Salad To Share & Cod & Chips TO SHARE!!

The 6 king Prawns (3 each) arrived on a bed of a few lettuce leaves, “ooh I don’t know why I ordered the side salad” said Alistair adding “The Prawns already come with Salad” I replied dryly “Maybe you just felt like pushing the boat out Alistair!!” Thankfully he was quiet as he ate & so that wasn’t spat over me too!!


He was saying something about me coming over in the week, to help him with unpacking some items, but I wasn’t really listening I was busy observing how we were surrounded by groups of pensioners looking me up & down (as I was dressed for a cocktail bar/fancy restaurant not a chippy) and looking daggers at me & with pity at Alistair, oh good god no, they think I am a hired escort or a gold digger or something I thought.

Throughout the meal & the pauses between Alistair kept putting his hand on mine (which I took away) or putting his hand on my knee under table & was trying to slide it higher (which I slapped away!!) Then he said “lets go wild & round the evening off with a brandy” so there we sat with brandy glasses amid the plastic & pensioners, It felt most surreal.

He wanted me to come back to his & I declined & he insisted on giving me a lift home in the taxi, instead of letting me walk home.  So I got him to drive me to a house nearby that has a alley way at the back, that I could get to my road from, so he didn’t know where I lived & suffice to say there wasn’t a 2nd date!.... I Thought, to myself I think I'll stick to my Gayboys for a great night out, until I meet somebody when out!


Watched CSI & had a vegetable casserole for dinner, then later I watched Fern & Perez Hilton, who made £30million by becoming one of the worlds most hated men, due to his blog, Guess I must try harder to irritate people, as I only have one hater thus far!! (I bet you just came in your pants for the mention!!) Maybe Evil Barbie should get more Evil to make the $$$$ like Perez, but although I know imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, I'm not one to copy!


Watched the Fab Ugly Betty (a program designed for fag hags & fashionistas!!) while sorting out more bags of stuff in the lounge then the DVD of NINE (quite good) then was ecstatic to discover by accident a NEW RuPaul's Drag Race starts today on E4 I love that show too, too much, if I'd been born a man I'd of ended up as a Drag Queen. I LOVE RuPaul Charles & there are some great tag lines such as "Lipsinc For Your Life!!" "Don't Fuck It up!!" and my absolute favourite "Remember Girls You Have To Show Your, Courage, Uniqueness, Nerve & Talent!!" (C.U.N.T)  too too funny, I wonder how many people cotton on to that? Ian saw my post that it was on & thanked me as he'd of missed it otherwise, he'd wondered when it would be back on? Ian use to work as a Drag Act "Dixie Lix" in Australia.


Life Can Be A Drag Sometimes

Thursday 16th Sept arrived with even more rain & dark Sky's. Spoke to my newly married Viking friend Louise McAuliffe (nee Jorgeson) who is now in Australia with her new husband, we laughed that as our lives have mirrored each others so much (we had pneumonia at the same time, both had tumours at same time & she had to have an op on her stomach when I had my Gallbladder removed) so by that reckoning we surmised that, if I bumped into a hunky Aussie & went on a date I should be married in a year. I joked that if I hear an Australian Accent when on Dating In The Dark, I will start sending out the wedding invites!! My friend Georgina Baillie contacted me back, she was on the Celebrity Dating In The Dark & said to have fun, she'd only done it for the money herself (she is not exactly short on boyfriend offers) she use to be in dance group Satanic Sluts & was the girl involved in the Jonathan Ross/Russell Brand scandal, she is a lovely girl, we did the Vampire sitcom "Georgina" together, she now sings in group Maria Maria & their 1st video "Sonnet For A Vampire" is now out. A link to it is below in YELLOW for those interested in listening to it.


Georgina Baillie



Wondered if my sister was back at her apartment in Cesme Turkey for her Birthday?, I'm sure they (she & her husband Erdal) said they were going back again in Sept, the weather will definitely be better than here!! (I LOVE Cesme its my 2nd home) I introduced my sister to Erdal, when we went on holiday there together after I'd raved about it (my dad arranged for my mum, dad sister & I to go out there, but he was diagnosed with Lung Cancer & given just 5 months to live shortly before we were to fly out & was told his lungs would not survive the flight, so just my sister & I went on my fathers insistance) Erdal became one of my many Turkish friends that I'd made, on my numerous trips out there! I knew if my sister didn't gel with my other Turkish friends she couldn't not get on with Erdal as he is such a great guy!! & I was right they have been married over 10yrs.

Cesme Castle In The Harbour, Julie & Erdal's Apartment Is Close By
Julie & Erdal Being Married By Cesme's Mayor, On A Boat

I had pizza for lunch watching 60 Minute Makeover, with Camp Couple Colin & Justin, don't mind their makeovers, the lounge today was good & I Love John Amabile, Richard Randall, Scott Waldron & Derek Taylor, not keen on Linda Barker & HATE wacky gaudy mishmash of colour lover Kathryn Rayward, if I came home to find I'd had a makeover by her I'd sue ITV!!....

I sorted out more of mums stuff from my dressing room & by 4pm the weather had gone from dark, cold & rainy to bright, warm & sunny & so at 5pm I took Aku out for a walk in the Park, and at the far end I saw CBEEBIES filming Nuzzle & Scratch (below) think they are filming them, having jobs as bird watchers at the lake!! Aku was very taken with the grey fluffy mike, I think he thought it was a Husky Puppy, The camera man was very taken with Aku, stroking him & I was taken with the hot tall camera man, in his aviator sunglasses (just my luck to be dressed in my casual gym trousers & vest top & scruffed up hair, from sorting out the backroom instead of being in my jeans & a nice top with hair done as usual!!) bugger!!

Nuzzle & Scratch

Got back & continued sorting out the back room, then had Spinach & Ricotta Cannelloni for dinner at 7pm checked emails & Facebook & Twitter, Mario BB9 asked if I was going to The Big Brother Send Off Party at The Embassy Club? He said he was too busy to go, I said maybe, logged off & had a quick coffee, before going round to Jennie & Edgar's, at 8pm Jennie said she would be joining me on Wednesdays with the Fitness First Walking Club that starts at 11am, watched Celebrity Juice which was hysterical, with Character Keith Lemon Parodying Lady Gaga in a Meat Suit with a big Pastrami on the front dangling between his legs, and later he pretended to Bugger BB2 & Ultimate BB winner Brian Doweling, on the studio floor, Richard Bacon & Rufus Hound were on top form & Katie Price/Reid was game on.

I think I'm going to Go Gaga, at the next Fancy Dress Party I'm invited to, but not in a meat dress, don't think it would work on a vegetarian, although like all vegetarians my mouth waters at the smell of bacon cooking oddly!! (apparently human flesh burning/cooking smells like bacon, hence why the Pygmy Cannibals called Europeans "Long Pigs" <in their language> maybe that's our inner savage coming to the surface, when we smell bacon then?) In fact I've been craving bacon a lot recently, after 30 meat free years! Maybe my body needs something that's in it to repair it, after 3 years of one illness after another? maybe I should look up what vitamins are in bacon & take some of them! Talking of Fancy Dress I have actually applied for a job working in Funzone Fancy Dress & Dance Wear, locally that would be such a laugh!!.... I LOVE a Fancy Dress Costume & don't care how silly I look, in fact once I did come close to doing a Gaga & dressing in Bacon! As you can see below!!

One Rasher Or Two?

Friday 17th Sept woke with terrible back pain in my Coccyx, it looked bright & sunny out, plus the TV weatherman said it would be colder than yesterday but dry, but my back said otherwise! Took Aku down the Park in the hopes that a run around would loosen my back at its base. Coach load after coach load of school kids turned up at the park (something must be going on at the Abbey) stopped counting after the 10th coach, Aku was really funny on his harness he was really friendly with the kids but pushed his way through & pulled to be at the front of the group each time (like being the Alpha dog in a sledge pack of hounds) Nuzzle & Scratch from Cbeebies were still filming in the park, I chatted to one of the production team, who was making a fuss of Aku (who was very curious of the caged ducks, the puppets & the fluffy mike again) he said they (Nuzzle & Scratch) were meant to have a job as lollipop sellers & mess up & end up helping ducks that can't cross the park due to humans, they have a little duck house & stunt ducks that will heard into the house, unlike the wild ones in the park. The sky went Black & it chucked it down just after I got Aku home (so much for the Weatherman!) but a hour later it was bright & sunny out again!



Got chatting with two gay guys earlier in the park, who were with 2 dogs one Chihuahua being carried in a little jacket, which reminded me of my friend James'es dog Stanley, and a very cute, very pretty, Chihuahua/Pomeranian Cross, in a Diamante Collar, called Rambo!! who was getting jealous of the attention Aku was getting, and was standing up on his hind legs in Aku's face, giving it the Alpha dog growl (so cute!) so Rambo by name & Rambo By nature, despite the girlie collar! I love the little outfits James has for his dogs, Stanley & Daisy, Stanley always looks so smug & pleased with himself in his, and Daisy is such a lady & such a poser, They have often been photographed with lots of celebs when out, as they are drawn to them as they are so cute, and Stanley Posed in The Gay Times, with Paris Hilton's New Best English Friend winner, James has since set up Diddy Dogs & now sells a array of outfits for small handbag size dogs! A link to it is in YELLOW below if you wish to peruse

Gratuitous Nude Shot Of Daisy & Stanley
Dressed To Go Out
Daisy The Lady- White Whine!! Where's The Champagne?
Stanley- Smug or Pissed?
Stanley & Paris Hilton's NBBBF



My Asda Delivery arrived & so my empty fridge/freezer & cupboard are fullish again! although I was gutted that they were out of stock, of the one thing I was really looking forward to, their Carrot & Pumpkin Rolls!!! I hardly ever eat wheat (wheat & I do not get on well) so don't buy bread, wheat based cereals, pasta or anything with pastry, buying wheat-free alternatives whenever possible, but on the odd occasion that I go out to dinner, I let myself have some, if there is something on the menu I really fancy & once every 2-3 months, I treat myself to some Asda Carrot & Pumpkin Rolls, although I pay for it a bit, later, but they taste so damn good!!


Once it was all put away I had a spicy tomato soup for lunch & settled down to watch Loose Woman as Janice Dickinson is on today & I absolutely LOVE her, maybe because she is as bonkers as me!!! She always makes me laugh & tells it like it is!!... whether you like it or NOT!! I bet a night on the town with Janice would be one to remember!! Bet she's a Fag Hag par Excellence!!


Then it was back to sorting out more of mums things from the back room, before stopping to grill some Tuna (I eat fish, as I have to have fish oils to aid my injured joints from 7 car crashes, so if I'm taking fish oils I might as well eat fish) I started eating fish for 1st time since I was 16yrs 10yrs ago, Today I had it with a fennel, spinach, Watercress & pine nut salad, with a lemon, olive oil & soya sauce dressing. I ate it watching Come Dine With Me, I love the Narrator Dave Lamb he makes that show more than the contestants! Then sent out some more job applications via email, mainly Retail Management, or Merchandising, plus a few design jobs although most are CAD these days sadly.

Dave Lamb

Had a coffee break & watched the Fantastic "8 Out Of 10 Cats", which had Jack Dee & Gay TV Doc Christian Jessen on, as well as Jack Whitehall, within minutes of being on Jack Dee & Sean Lock had me crying with laughter talking about The Popes visit. Read a bit of my Sun Newspaper & saw the adorable story of Lion Cub Zinzi & Meerkat Bob, who became best friends so so cute

Friendship Simples
Spoke to my friend Martyn Tott who told me his second fiction novel 'Five Still Missing' is out soon, his 1st book "Six Magic Numbers" was inspired from his own experience of losing his £3Million winning lottery ticket, and turned it into semi-autobiographical fiction, it's now being turned into a film & I may get a small part in it. 

Below in YELLOW are links to either buy it, read the 1st three chapters for free, a link to Martyn on TV talking about losing his £3Million ticket, plus headlines from when it happened, Martyn is also in a Tribute band Ramone Clones, and also does his own Comedy Song nights.  






Continued with sorting the back room while Listening to CSI another Brilliant show! & Alien 3, (I LOVE Sci-Fi) before eventually retiring to bed to read my book The Secret Life Of Marilyn Monroe, by J.Randy Tarabollerri. I saw in the papers today that Goldie's nephew is in prison for murder  now, as well as his son, I know Goldies other son & he couldn't be more different, he does fashion design, and use to work for me as bar staff when I managed !CE Bar & Adelaide's Nightclub. Goldie once hit on my friend Andrea.

Saturday 18th September, I woke to a bright sunny day (although my back was saying otherwise!!.... ouch!! bloody thing!!) and enjoyed Porridge with bananas & blueberry's for breakfast. My friend James contacted me & said could I make it to his doggy fashion show next week? I said I'd see what I could do. Today I heard from the Fancy Dress/Dance Wear Shop, that I applied to work for, they said thanks for applying but alas they had filled the position the day before my application arrived, but should things change they will get back to me. That's a shame but at least they have me on file should they need anyone else, or if the present applicant doesn't work out! Love a good Fancy Dress Party, as I'm still a big kid at heart!!

Rocky Horror Show, Halloween

Sorted out more stuff & stopped for a lunch of a veggie bacon (to try to abate my recent craving) & Leerdammer Cheese in a Wholemeal pitta & browsed through The Suns Buzz Magazine, that has had a lot of hype in the Paper & on TV Ads lately with George Lamb, Louie Spence, Denise Van Outen, Bruce Forsythe & Keith Lemon, Advertising it. Not bad, not great, but better than the old Saturday Mag. Moved my Stereo, CD's & houseplants out of my Bay window as the decorator is coming round in the early hrs of Sunday to paint the outside of it today & I want to make sure it can be opened & shut after after my problem after they did the back windows.



Put Some popcorn in the microwave & continued sorting, lots of fabric that's not my style to Ebay and some oddments that I can put together in bags, for people who like to do patchwork quilts/cushions etc I don't have the time to do that, nor the patience anymore, although I use to love it when I was younger. Decided to move things round in my lounge for a bit for a change & set up my printer & moved where I put my computer stack. Took a break to watch Xfactor & had some peanut butter on crispbreads & a coffee & perused The Sun Paper & got to page 26 OMFG!!!! there was a story of Kirk Douglas & his wife Anne who are moving to NY to be near their ill son Micheal .... they looked horrific, they should be in an article called "When Plastic Surgery Goes Wrong" Anne has had so much she looks like a burns victim Coco the clown, in a wind tunnel & Kirk like a grey Micky Rourke look alike!! Her eyes are tiny & her eyebrows looked pulled up in a state of constant shock!! & he has gone down the Jacky Stallone/Micky Rourke lip infill look!! Don't they have people who could tell them Don't Do It? Including the surgeon who butchered them!! or is it $$ over ethics?

The Picture in The Sun Was Close Up Without The Shades

Went to bed at 4am after sorting out Lounge & Kitchen (had a break from back room) & hung up clean dry clothes & I know the Decorator coming around 6-7am to paint outside will no doubt wake me & make me unable to sleep!!.... just about to turn off the bedroom TV & go to sleep when Age Of Love came on Ch4 at 4.15am. It's a dating show with a Australian Pro Tennis Player, who was at Wimbledon & was ranked in the top 10 in the world, and also won medals at The Olympics. He has to choose from 7 40yrs plus Cougars, or 6 women in their 20's, it was a repeat (it was filmed in 2007) but this was the 1st one & I missed the 1st few episodes when I discovered it by accident, on Viva last year, so I watched it & discovered that he had no idea of the concept & in the beginning, so he was shocked to see his options were only older women & then after his 1st elimination he gets shown his 6 new young options (unbeknown to the cougars) the women all find out later, when they all share an apartment, & its now 6 Cougars V 6 20somethings. Its a good show. If I remember correctly, although it ends up mostly Cougars near the end, he picks the nastiest, most two faced, shallow, manipulative, slutty brunette in her 20's (I'm sure I was wondering if, once he watches the aired show & sees how she really was, when not in his company, if he thought he made the right choice? also whether their still together) so due to that I ended up settling down to sleep at 5am.





Sunday 19th Sept Arrived & I woke at 8.30am to the sound of the decorator rubbing down the woodwork on my lounge bay window, popped out  at 12.30pm  for a News Of The World & perused it over a wholemeal pitter with veggie bacon & Leerdammer cheese & a coffee for a late breakfast, to get me ready for a day of more sorting. The decorator outside had gone quiet at noon & I looked out the window & the frames had been painted roughly & the sills needed doing but I heard my front door banging a bit, so I thought he must be putting the numbers back on my door, after he left them off after painting last time (I'd left them with a note on my door handle last night) but when I looked it had not been done, guess it must of been the wind rattling the door. I assumed he'd gone for lunch, but when he had not returned by 3.30pm I guessed he would be finishing them off tomorrow morning, so I put a note on a windowpane & left numbers on the windowsill he cant miss them next time!! I then drew out my new food diary, to help me get back to the 9st 5lb that I was just before mum died. After she died I'd lost the energy for the gym due to the shock & just ate microwave food, for some time after that, I as in a bad place & now I'm fighting to get back out of it & get the old me back!

Andy the Zombie director made contact & I got to see the Teaser Trailer for the Zombie Movie I was in, "Houseparty Of The Dead 6" after the narrators words "Zombies" you get a quick clip of me licking blood off the car windscreen & at the end before the title comes up you see me in a group shot of Zombies, in red on the car bonnet to left of shot, while friend Nerissa is at the back of the car in red to the right of shot, the link to the Teaser Trailer is in YELLOW below


I continued with sorting out the back room, later I heard from my friend Nat who's having family probs, which is the last thing he needs right now!..... stopped for a yummy Stilton & Broccoli soup while watching the Xfactor & later my friend Davey Tyler contacted me, telling me to find a date in my diary for a 3 course dinner at his, with his boyfriend & then a night out at a new Watford Club, and I can stay over.... that should be a fun night !! The News Of the World has changed its format somewhat & I'm not so sure I like it, and so has Fabulous its extra magazine. Gone are "In Bed With Tantric & Toxic" & in its place is "The A Team Advice" nowhere near as good, even though The Toxic Bachelor is part of it, as it gets rid of one of the best bits "The Toxic Guide To:....." which along with Mystic Meg I use to look forward to each week!!.... noticed David Walliams Model wife (good body Shame about the Face) was modeling the Fly Girl fashion section. 

Things in back room (Dressing Room) are sorted in piles ready for me to continue with tomorrow but I'm taking a break for the rest of the night, to read the rest of the paper & magazines, & watch the fantasy thriller "Jumper" (disappointingly average!!) Filming another bit for the show Showbiz next week, it's a new Pub Quiz Game Show, that we may try getting on our own planned network, I also might go to the Big Brother Send Off Party & James'es Doggy Fashion Show, but I'll see how the week goes!!..... But All That Will  Be In My Next Blog!!

Saturday, 11 September 2010

Cats & Dogs but I'm kissing No Frogs!!



Monday 6th Sept, and I woke at 8.30am in pain, the base of my spine (my Coccyx ) is extremely painful, which means it's going to rain today. I got a hairline fracture in my Coccyx, when I had a bad fall at just 11yrs old & it now has rheumatoid arthritis in it (how sexy!!!....NOT!!) so it plays up whenever the weather is cold & damp!!... it looked very warm & sunny out but I know thanks to the pain that won't last long, and soon it would be raining Cats & Dogs !!


Went through the Ken-Dolls Auditionee's on Star Now & on Facebook group & in my inbox, some more interesting entrants.

Then at noon I took the Dogs (2 Labradors & a Husky) to the park which was baking hot, I was sweating even though I was wearing my D&G jersey camisole top with a kitten on the front that looks just like my Cat Amy (who sadly died exactly 6 months after my mum) when she was a kitten, plus black cotton jersey leggings. I got a light sprinkling of rain on me in the sunshine as I walked home (hmmm that doesn't seem much for this pain! I thought) got in & sent out a few CV's to jobs I was interested in & popped out to Tescos, for some Sushi etc, It was now decidedly colder out, even though I was now also in my jersey waterfall front cardigan too & the sky was dark with rain clouds, a complete contrast to earlier & now looking well worthy of my extreme pain, I had found myself in.


Candie texted me & said to come over to hers Thurs/Fri if I'm free, which I was, so now she could come out with me & Sammy Friday night, in Mayfair, if she gets a babysitter. It poured with rain from 6pm until the wee hrs, (what my pain was warning me of) lets hope tomorrow is sunny again! watched Come Dine With Me, Big Brother Special, which was amusing, but although Brian Belo & Sophie Reade are sweethearts, their lack of intellect & knowledge is jaw dropping, Sophie didn't know what Parmesan, Courgettes or Asparagus were & asked where potatoes came from & if they grew on tree's?, plus she was unaware mincemeat was used to make burgers (luckily she didn't buy the sort of fruit mincemeat, that you get in Xmas mince pies!!)  also she & Brian pronounced Sorbet as (SORE-BIT) she also used a spatula to mix the recipe ingredients with, instead of a wooden spoon, not that unlike Brian Belo trying to get juice from a lemon by squashing it in a jug with a potato masher, and he didn't even suss that he needed water added to his ingredients to make his soup (and they say they are not dumbing down exams) how they  both got through school not knowing these simple things is a mystery!????
Watched ultimate big Brother After, Glad one of my Fave Gay housemates Brian Dowling is still in, I Met him in a Bar in Soho once, on the queens jubilee, lovely guy & a lot Taller than he looks on TV. But Gutted my two Gay BB buddies Richard (AKA Dicky) & Gerry are not in there, they would of been hysterical they really should have done a "GAY Ultimate Big Brother" full off all the past Gay or Transsexual housemates, that would be a very funny bitchfest!!


Tuesday 7th Sept & I woke at 8.20am with bad pain in my Coccyx yet again, it shoots out from the base of my spin in a V to my two hip bones, and when I pulled back the curtains, there were the looming rain clouds, Bloody Damp English Weather, that's why I love Dubai & Turkey both hot & arid with no damp humidity, I feel 10-20yrs younger whenever I'm in either of those country's, I LOVE dry heat, I love HOT weather, last time I was in Dubai, in June, it was 50C in the day (130F) and 38C at 11pm at night (106F) PERFECT!!!.. Also Dubai unlike most Hot Country's (Turkey inc) has a sea the temp of bath water, so your not going from hot to cold when you pop into the sea to cool off, but because its still a lot cooler than the heat of the sun its still cooling, there are some great restaurants there too, love sea food & Mediterranean/Middle Eastern food.
At The Dubai Marina
Flying The Flag, In The Warm Dubai Sea - Lovely!!

Looked through more of the band member applicants from Star Now, my Facebook audition group & from my emails, while Thunder & Lightning raged outside, as it threw down Torrential Rain by the bucket load! then I cooked some fresh King Prawns in an array of different spices & laid on a bed of wilted Spinach, drizzled with a warmed Balsamic dressing & sprinkled with Pine Nuts, yum!! then sorted some more of my items in the back room out, while the weather is whey too vile to go out!!

By 2.30pm the weather had changed to glorious sunshine (a kind of reverse of yesterdays weather) so I popped out and had a manicure, as my nails are growing so quick at the moment they were over 2" long so had  1cm cut off too & had them painted a neon orange, I like a wacky colour every now & then, got called by SHINE TV re filming a game show pilot on Thursday, but I already had plans with Candie so I declined.  

Looked round TK Max some nice things in & also Jane Norman, some lovely new items! then popped into New Look as I had £10 in Gift vouchers & got a lovely diamante bracelet that fastens like a belt (I have very slim wrists so its not often I can find a bracelet or watch that fits snug on my wrist this one did on tightest setting, asked about the Peacock Feather necklace I have been after & was told it would be in soon.
Had a look round River Island they have two variations on the Panda bobble hat I got 2 winters ago, love that hat (even though the ears should be black if its a Panda!!) they have some lovely tops in River Island & New Look at the moment too!!... shame I am not cash rich at the moment, but I have 100's of tops anyway!

My River Island Panda Hat

The New Version

Set off to my Acupuncture appointment at 4pm, it was still hot & sunny but with a light rain shower at same time, our weather continues to be as weird as always. Had my Acupuncture. I have neck problems after being in 7 car crashes, I was a passenger in all 7 crashes, 3 were on the same night Princess Diana had her fatal car crash, one was even at exactly the same time (my friend who's car I was in & I commented at the time, how it was as if all the drivers on the road had gone crazy that night, like a full moon madness) none of the 7 accidents, were the fault of the drivers of the car I was in at the time, it was always the other cars, drunk drivers & joy riders going through red lights, foreign drivers looking the wrong way before pulling out (due to being used to driving on opposite side of road) or animals/small kids running out into road without looking, from between parked cars only visable at last moment & our car having to swerve & lose control, I had 15 stitches in my head & 5 in my leg from one accident, my friends say I am so unlucky, but I think I am very lucky to have been in 7 car crashes & still be here, be able bodied & with no visible scars!!

Can't wait for Celebrity Juice's New Show to start on Thursday, I love Leigh Frances AKA Keith Lemon, The Bear, Avid Merrion, and a host of other Characters on Bo'Selecta, he has the same warped sense of humour of my friends & I, he went out on the razzle recently & got pissed with the guy who plays The Tree Of Temptation on Big Brother (Daniel Nettleton) not sure who I am more jealous of, I'd love to go on the razzle with those two!..... what a night that would be hysterical !!
Daniel AKA The Tree
Keith Lemon
As The Bear
As Avid Merrion
As Craig David on Bo'Selecta

Watched "This Is England 86" on Ch4 at 10pm after Ultimate big Brother, I hoped it would be better than the Film "This Is England" which to be honest bored me shitless, I never really understood how it won so many awards, when it managed to be so boring, despite copious amounts of violence, I found none of the characters likable or relatable to. Sadly the 1st of the 4 part TV adaptation was equally dull, at best it reminded me of the fashions I wore at art college, other than that, it was dullsville for me! maybe I just cant relate to it, as I have never hung about with that type of scummy drug addicts, off of rough council estates! I can honestly say that wasn't my England thank god! It certainly was nothing like 1986 for me, fresh from Art College & full of fun, excitement & adventure & positivity, none of the depressing gloom of this TV show

This Is England
This Is England 86

Wed 8th Sept  & the day started grey & dismal which made my 11am Fitness 1st Running Club, less enjoyable than it is when sunny, but thanks to the girls still fun.  Had a long soak in the bath after & was looking forward to "8 Out Of 10 Cats Big Brother Special" Tonight & wondering which of the Ex housemates will be on? Had to re plan my wardrobe as the weather has changed since I decided what I wanted to wear Monday (an Orange Jersey Summer Dress, to go with nails) so instead it was a long black jersey camisole over black wet look leggings a Draped Cream Roman/Toga style top with diamante trim some bling jewelery & black lace-up Victorian style Carvela ankle boots & my leopard print trench-coat (very Bette Lynch!!) curled my hair & added a few clip in curly hair extensions & set off at 4.30pm, my umbrella in my Salvador Ferregamo handbag just in case!!


Got a train from St Albans into Kings Cross & then caught the Victoria line tube to Oxford Circus & then got the Central Line to White City where I met Ian & his Lovely Aussie friend Nick Gentile (yes that's his real name) & we all eyed up the hot guys in the numerous queues, typically the Beeb (it's filmed in BBC studios despite being shown on Ch4) were totally disorganised & nobody seemed to know what queue was for what TV show (Strictly Come Dancing, The Michael Ball Show, 8 out of 10 Cat's etc) nor which queue was for people with priority tickets like ours were. Eventually we were placed in correct spot & eventually we got our luminous green wrist bands that indicated we were priority. Then we were ushered through a Airport Security like arch, while my bag was x-rayed & we walked up a flight of stairs & Ian & I posed for a pic in front of The Tardis (we are both sci-fi nuts) and once again in front of a Dr Who Canvas, then before we could even have a pee, or buy a drink from the cafe area, which we had just been guided straight through, en route to the studio.





we were guided to our seats half way up the Beecher seating, bang centre, the warm up guy came on who was quite entertaining & ripping the piss out of a few audience members, then out came a very dapper & handsome Jimmy Carr (I LOVE Jimmy Carr) he has all the elements I look for in a guy.... funny, sarcastic & a good dresser (helps if a guys taller than me too) he introduced his team captains Sean Lock & Jason Manford & their team mates, Sean's BB housemate was Brian Belo & Jason's was Josie, to their left were Ex housemates John James, Eugine, Mario Marconi, Samanda, Makosi & my arch Nemesis, Aisleyne Horgan-Wallace, who put me through hell for nothing, just after my mum died & made me out of pocket for £45 & gave me the night from hell, inc 8hrs of traveling home, due to her wrongly mistaking me for her *supposed* stalker (despite me having ID to prove I was NOT Jane Brooke, plus the fact Jane has BROWN eyes & mine are BLUE, but that's another blog) suffice to say I'm not a fan anymore of the jumped up little madam!!!..... maybe she should know herself!!!
Sean, Jimmy & Jason

The show started & Sean & Jimmy were deliciously cruel in their satirical jokes/piss-takes, mostly aimed at Makosi, Mario & Brian Belo, bringing Makosi to tears when some were directed at Nadia, Jimmy said he didn't care that she was crying, as he had money on Makosi Walking in the sweepstakes anyway (after her doing so due to question from Sean's New Zealand team mate on Big Brothers Big Mouth last week) The filming went way over time, due to Brian Belo often going off on a tangent on one story or another (most not even interesting, let alone amusing or with a punch line ending) which had Ian's friend Nick muttering under his breath "Shut the fuck up Brian!!" although he did tell us all about him shitting his pants/jeans on a train recently. Apparently he was stood up having a pee in train toilet & thought he was going to let out a fart & instead followed through & shit in his pants & his new  D&G Jeans, which cost him £300 & he was worried he'd ruined them & gave them to his mum to wash, & had tweeted when in train loo asking followers what to do!!!... you couldn't make it up!! after that Jimmy was asking if there were any females in the audience that would be interested in dating single Brian?....errrr NO!!!  But I would date Jimmy in a heartbeat, I definitely find him attractive, though not exactly classically, so that plus his humour, makes him a hell yes!!
It was obvious from Josie's demeanor that she was smitten with her John James (I'm very pleased for them) & obviously very happy, and she teased him every now & then from her seat on Jason's team, though I expected her to a bit more loud & funny than she actually was, mind you it was hard to get a word in with motor mouth Brian going on & on, let alone the comedian team panelists & host Jimmy. in one break Jimmy came up close to where we were but to the right of us to check out some woman who said she would date Brian (even after train incident story) & some lucky bugger managed to grab him to have a photo with before he had to go back to the stage. I was dying for the loo to spend a penny, plus so thirsty I was spitting feathers & while runners pandered to the ex housemates giving them water, none was offered to the parched audience. Jimmy made a quip about how much editing the show would need due to Brian's ramblings.


When the show was over we were ushered out at 10.30pm without a toilet en route (my back teeth were now floating) we were also hungry & thirsty (I'd not eaten since I had muesli for breakfast) so we popped to a Tesco Metro that was open & I got a Smoked Salmon & Cream Cheese Sandwich, Salt & Vinegar McCains Crisps & a bottle of caffeine free diet coke & managed to use a loo in the foyer of another BBC building, then Ian, Nick & I headed off to the tube, my feet killing me (normally the Carvela boots I was wearing were ultra comfy, but they were rubbing my heals, I am sure that when I put on weight after mum died uneectedly, my feet gained about half a size!!)


The tube journey was fine except for a black Muslim woman was sitting opposite me with one of those headscarves that go over their head & down to just below their chest, no problem with that, except for the fact that she was picking her nose & then wiping the bogie's/snot down the left side of her headdress, at chest level & there was a crusty runway all down that side ughh!! (thats just snot funny!!) I got on my slow train to St Albans, sat next to two American men, at Kentish Town a young guy in a suit got on, talking to his friend on the phone saying "No I don't want to go out with her, but I didn't want anyone else having her!!" obviously having copped off with someone, what a typical guy thing to say, you'd never hear a female say that about a guy (the closest equivalent for a woman is "if I can't have him, I don't want any of them bitches getting their claws into him!!") he continued "It's like your car, you love the look of it, but know you can't really afford to run it!!" had to laugh (I love eavesdropping at times)


Sat to my right in the train carriage was a very talented card magician who's various card shuffles were an art form in itself!! he got off at West Hamstead & a French Guy called Pepe (I'm assuming his surname was Le Pew, as he reaked to high heaven of BO & Garlic) got on, and took the magicians seat, he then decided he'd taken a shine to me & was doing the full on seduction bit, in his thick French accent, now I can see how a French accent on a woman is sexy, but the Male French accent to me sounds like some guy trying to clear catarrh & phlegm from his throat!! To be fare to him he wasn't unattractive, or badly dressed, but even if I could overlook that thick accent, I couldn't ever overlook that vile stench, the BO even overpowered the garlic, so I was horrified when he moved in for a kiss, in spite of the fact that I hadn't flirted back with him! fortunately he moved in for the kill just as the train stopped at St Albans & I managed to swerve it & exit pronto! (he was getting off at Bedford I was detarmined he wouldn't be getting off with me before then!) I know your supposed to Kiss a lot of Frogs before you meet your Prince, but I didn't care if it meant that my Prince would be one step closer..... I was NOT kissing that Frog!! (anyway knowing my luck, my Prince would probably turn up on four legs, with a wet nose & a love of bones, while I'm out in the park!!) got home & ripped off my boots to find two blisters the size of a 50 pence piece OUCH!!!.....


I got in & caught the last BBBM on E4 +1 and at the end Saw Mario & Lisa dancing on a pedestal at the end, he must of driven there straight from 8 out of 10 Cat's, bugger if I'd of known I'd of bummed a lift home as the studio is near by & it would of been a lot quicker than my 2 tubes a train & a 20 min walk!! sent Mario a FB message & Tweet, to say I saw him on both & I would of bummed a lift if I'd known he was off to Elstree too.
Pepe Le Pew

Thurday 9th Sept & I woke at 9.30am despite not falling asleep until after 6am (bloody insomnia!!) busy day ahead so no time for gym but I went up the park with Aku (Husky) and spent 45mins running around, saw two gorgeous Old English Sheepdog's & went  up to them for a cuddle & stroke, chatted to the owner, I love Old English Sheepdog's (or Dulux Dog's as they use to be known) my friend in Warninglid, when I lived in West Sussex had one, I loved it & seeing them took me straight back in time to the 1980's. I haven't seen one of those dogs in the flesh for at least 20yrs, on the way back home  the cute builder in his mid to late 20's who always comes out to chat to me said hello, it was hot & sunny out but rainclouds were already looming!!


Packed my case with clothes to chill at Candies with & 3 dresses for our girls night out Friday (3 different types to depend on how weather would be as its so changeable at the moment!!) checked my hotmail,  facebook & Twitter messages, Mario BB9 had Tweeted me back  "blast... had plenty of room did u enjoy it ? x" After answering messages I set off at 2pm & walked to station & got to Kings Cross where I quickly passed a Tranny was being questioned by a police man, on my way to the tube, don't know why?, maybe for soliciting as its rife around that station. The Transvestite/Transsexual, was in a short black trench coat tied tight at the waist, with I am assuming a mini skirt, or mini dress underneath, flat black plimsolls & either a bad short red wig, or a very bad haircut & dye job, plus dated blue 70's style eye  make-up, how did I know it was a guy not a woman? well the voice & the scrawny Lilly white legs, riddled with varicose veins, NO WOMAN with varicose veins, would ever wear a mini skirt with bare legs, to wear a mini skirt, she'd wear 2 pairs of 80 denier tights, one over the other at the very least!!!.... Got to Candies & let myself in with the spare key & at 3.30pm popped down to the local school to pick up her two boys Tiger & Xavier for her, then later we popped out to the shops to buy a few things inc a Laser Printer/Scanner/ Photocopier for Xavier, which was excellent and under £40 from Argos, which I set up for him after dinner & then it was a chilled evening of Ultimate Big Brother & then watching the "8 out Of 10 Cats" I'd seen filmed the day before, they had cut a hell of a lot out, the jokes were much crueler in live show, Makosi even cried, but you could see that she & Aisleyne, had a face like thunder 90% of time, & fake smiles the other 10%  whenever the camera panned to ex housemates!


My friend Miriam Virgo called me on my mobile at around 10.30pm to see if I was going to the Big Brother send off at Elstree studios at 2pm tomorrow? I said, "No Emma from BBBM has emailed me to come, but I cant make it, as I already had plans, I'm at my friends for a couple of days!!" she said she would email Emma to see if she could have my place. Candie & I watched Jack Dee Live At The Appollo on Comedy Central (I'd seen it before but I LOVE Jack Dee, he's so dry) he reminds me of a shorter version of my Ex Kieron....


Friday 10th Sept, woke at 8am & went downstairs & had breakfast with Candie around 9.30 after she had dropped the kids off at school. She & Costa were going to go for a romantic lunch in Chicconi's in Mayfair & I was going to pick the kids up at 3.30pm for them.


I checked my emails, as I was being messed about by the TV company that was following me, for show on the show biz industry. I was about to start auditioning new band members for my Band, they had said to me that they would like to follow the auditions. I said I had yet to advertise for the new musicians needed & then whittle them down to the few I will audition in a local music studios, probably The Farm Factory we use to use in the old days, with the old band line up (The Farm Factory, 5 Woodfeild Rd, Welwyn Garden City)




They said they would put the auditions on Star Now for me & print any flyer's, if I would come to collect them & also arrange for me to use one of the Pineapple studios to audition in. That all sounded great but I wrote out the audition Ad in July, but it got put on in Sept, for a Sept 23rd audition (wasting a month of time that I could of  been sifting through auditionees) they hadn't got back to me re all the questions I asked them over the past month or so, which was mainly, what time on the 23rd was the studio booked from, for the auditions? would a drum kit be set up for the drummers? as it would be impractical for all the drummers to lug their drums to the studio & waste time setting up their kit & then disassembling it again, which would mean wasting precious audition time, I also asked about amps & speakers for the guitarists & microphones, for those that can do backing vocals (as all of that is available in The Farm Factory studio's for hire, which is why I was thinking of using them!!) I sent another email a few days ago asking for a response yet again, as now auditionee's were applying, they would be asking about such things & I would look an Idiot if I was unable to give them an answer!..... So today finally I got a reply!


Hi June,


Hope you are well and apologies for my delayed responses, we've been manic.


Sorry to let you down on this and I know we said we would follow this but unfortunately everything is clashing and we don't have enough cameras to cover it any longer.


Maybe we can pick this up later on in the run but at the moment I am afraid we are going to have to leave it


Hope you understand but we will be filming you on other items




Which to me is pretty much a Bullshit excuse, I'm sure! as it was a response I was already half expecting!!.... I think the real reason is, is the reason for the long delay & that reason is, the simple fact that they didn't think it through, when they said they wanted to film it & would provide the studio! I don't think they encompassed what exactly a band audition entailed & never gave a thought to the need for Amps, Speakers & a Permanent Drum Kit etc & thought that like a singing audition, all you need would be a room & probably didn't think about the fact that, the majority of guitarists would bring electric guitars, maybe they just had the image of people playing classical acoustic guitars in their mind?..... I am sure it has more to do with the work a audition of this type entails & bugger all to do with camera numbers, if I'm honest. But I will sift through entrants & sort out getting new members my own way!!... then if they want to cover the band when reformed fine!


Decided to do a bit of nostalgic window shopping in Wood Green, to kill time until picking up the Kids at 3.30pm. As I haven't shopped in Wood Green since I lived in Palmers Green & Bounds Green & feel quite nostalgic about the area (boy was I in for a shock) 10years ago a third of Wood Green was White Brits, a third Greek, a third Turkish with a sprinkling of Polish & Black Africans/Jamaicans. There was a mixture of Greek & Turkish Cafes, with the occasional illegal card games in a back room, and as you walked down the road you heard a blend of English, Turkish & Greek chatter & it was always amusing when you heard yourself discussed in Greek or Turkish, knowing they didn't realise you could understand them, (thanks to working as a belly dancer in Turkish & Greek Clubs, when younger, a Greek boyfriend & Greek and Turkish friends)


Walked down to the bottom of Alexandra Palace to catch a W3 to Wood Green, when I got on board, and enquired the price of the return ticked the African Woman driver mumbled something incomprehensible, so I said "I'm sorry what was that again?" to which she replied loudly & agressively "TWO PAND!!" (no please I noted!) paid the £2 & then noticed the whole of the bottom section of the double decker was full with just Somalian women with their kids, all wearing Muslim garb, the top row exactly the same except for one polish woman on her mobile, who had the only spare seat next to her. The next stop was Alexandra Palace nobody was at the stop, but I counted 15 Somalian women in Muslim dress, with their kids on the steps leading up to *Ally Pally (*Alexandra Palace) & I thought "oh maybe there is a Somalian event on, that would explain the bus being full of them", but nobody got off there, and the banner at Ally Pally just advertised a Children's Fair. Every Single stop after that had only Somalian Muslim women & their kids it was quite bizarre.


I got off at Wood Green & had my nostalgia quickly stripped from me, there was hardly any white people at all whether Greek, Turkish, Polish, English or otherwise, it was now little Somalia & I felt like a tourist, it was more Black than Tottenham & I was the ethnic minority there (when I briefly lived their between moves) I'm Not racist, but the dramatic change in 10yrs was a shock to the system & it was the biggest indication I have seen thus far, as to just how bad the immigration situation is thanks to Labours open door policy's. Gone were the quaint Greek & Turkish restaurants & cafe bars, in there place were Halal butchers & Halal Kebab shops, even the old Pizza hut was a Kebab restaurant. The only old days nostalgic food place left, was the Take Away Bagel outlet. The independant shops in the Shopping City had changed too, less of the glitzy clothes stores aimed at the glam Greek gori girls & the Jewish princesses & instead more aimed at Nigerian tastes, there were two shops that sold more of the glitzy stuff reminiscent of the days I ran with my Greek Posse, Hype & *Check Mate (*I shopped here in my gori girl days)  both had the same dress in their window (available in black or red) a clingy short spaghetti strapped number with small rivets (like mini versions you get on Hells Angel biker jackets) on the chest area, the black one on Hypes window & the red one in Check mates almost diagonally opposite, yet Hype were charging £40 for it Check mate £29, that's an £11 mark up in Hype, on top of the mark up Check Mate obviously has already done on theirs, what a rip off!! popped into Burger King For some lunch (A Veggieburger) & again I was the only white face, not even a white staff member, most odd, there was a real cute Jamaican little girl, about 2 yrs old sat in a high chair, with a family at one table, the little girl had a massive Afro, she looked like a cute little doll.


I text my friend Ian to say have fun at the BB Send Off & he called back to say he didn't go as he was hung over & had flatmate problems (dog poo all over the bedroom) she should get a covered cat litter box that has a cat flap like I had for my Cat, as its a small pooch. No smells & no litter or poo kicked all over the floor!

Picked up kids & later when Candie & Costa returned, said to her I was amazed how much Wood Green had changed in just 10yrs, she said she rarely goes there anymore, but told me a story about a friend who went there for the 1st time in years & couldn't quite remember how to get into where in the Shopping City Car park, she'd left her car, so spotting two policemen she asked for some assistance, and they said "we will walk you to your car madam" she said "that's OK just point me in the right direction!" but they were adamant "No madam we will escort you to the vehicle!" Once at her car they asked "Do you come to Wood Green often?" she said she hadn't been in years to which he replied "May I suggest you don't do so again, don't come here, not ever, it's far too dangerous for a nice lady like you!!.... Blimey it has changed!!


I had a wash & washed hair & got done up in Khaki Riess dress & Khaki CK court shoes & set off with Candie to meet my friend Sammy at The London Cocktail Club (6-7 Great Newport Street) events on bus & tube had Candie & I in fits of giggles, including a come on from a very strange man dressed in London Underground Uniform. It freaked Candie out as she had been hit on all week by very random guys, even a guy who came to collect the Ebay items he bought off her left the feedback, "stunning Ebayer xx" which had her in tears of laughter!! Even her husband Costa found it amusing.
We arrived at the very busy, cocktail bar filled with lots of hot totty in a various range of ages & nationality's all well dressed, well groomed, fun, friendly & STRAIGHT (so this is where they have all been hiding!!!) I had a Porn Star Martini & Candie a Black Russian. Found Sammy with her girlys & introduced Candie to them, one of Sammy's Crew was a shy Oriental girl who was about 4ft 6-8" tall, who looked nervously around the place, Candie said she kept expecting her to pull out a small tube out of her pocket & blow poisoned darts into people, which gave me a fit of the giggles, we spent a lot of the time eyeing up the fit talent. So as I haven't had a snog in over 18months (& as I have been celibate for over 2yrs 3months, arggghhhhh!!!!) we thought it's about time I got back in the lip locking action, before getting back in the saddle under the sheets!!.... (but not with a smelly Frog like Pepe)




The Two young barmen in their 20's were flirting outrageously with Candie & I (after bigger tips boys?) Candy stuck with Black Russians, but I went on the Donkey Punches, later Sammy wanted me to down most of her Mojito for her that she'd been bought, as she couldn't handle it (she is only tiny about  5ft 9") but didn't want to say so to drink buyer, we were having a chat and a laugh, then Candie made me tell the vile but funny story of my late Cat Stripe (he died of Leukemia about 12yrs ago) which she thinks is just the funniest story ever! he was found starving outside my house in Bounds Green, & he was like my child always wanting to be near me, I sleep naked & he use to get under the covers & sleep, lying on my tummy with his head between my boobs like pillows & his front paws either side of them, one day he kept fidgeting & I tried to push him down to lay still, when suddenly my tummy was wet, that's when I discovered he was fidgeting because his willy was rubbing against my belly stud, and he'd just cum on me!!! YUCK!!!


We ended up talking to two guys Tim Mitchell & his pal Leland, Candie said "how is Tim getting served? he looks 12" which I told Tim she'd said, Tim said "I'm 22!!" ..... Candy likes older guys & I prefer younger, when we went out back in the good old days when she was single & in her 20's she use to snog 50yr olds even if they were minging & she didn't fancy them, just to horrify me, they bought us some shots & Tim was really hitting on me big time. So as I was up for a snog, to break my snogging famine, I thought why not snog Tim, he's cute plus it would also horrify Candie (as he looks so young for his age) the way her snogging the old codgers use to horrify me, back in the day. So when Tim moved in for the kill, I let him, even though normally I'd never kiss in public & Candies face was a picture, to be fair Tim was a good snog! the barmen were a bit shocked too, as Tim it turned out was their friend!.... Tim was quick to check if I was on Facebook & add me, but it wouldn't allow him, saying I had too many friends, not so, I only have just over 500 I don't add strangers (friend requests probably clogged up again, with over 500 friend requests, haven't checked them this week, I get so many from same people I have already rejected ) then he got my number.


Candie & I got a cab home around 2.15am at 2.45am when we were in the taxi my phone went it was Leland saying Tim was too shy to say it, but had got him to call to ask me to come stay at his in Elephant & Castle, PML I said we were almost home to Muswell Hill & I would not be getting the cab to The Elephant & Castle (what kind of girl did he/they hope I was?) The Elephant & Castle is the last area a girl would want to be alone in in the wee hrs, (worse than Tottenham, and now it appears Wood Green) only Jensen Ackles could coax me out there in the wee hrs even then with difficulty & sweet as Tim was, he's no Jensen!! He called again after I got in, but I quickly switched off phone as not to wake the sleeping kids & Costas.
Jensen Akles

Saturday 11th Sept & Candie was going to give me a lift to Gemma's Party Tonight at the Orange Tree in Totteridge. We watched the repeat of last nights Ultimate BB final (the Lovely Brian Dowling won hurrrahhhh!!) and the BB send off I was invited to.... Damn Gorge George Lamb was hosting it could of got a few more pics of him & past housemates too.


In the day we popped into Sports Direct to get the boys some new trainers, my poor blistered heel's stinging like they had been rubbed in nettles. Later Candie & I chilled watching the start of the NEW "Strictly Come Dancing" (which was being filmed in the other studio, when Ian & I was at 8 Out Of 10 Cats) not much fussed about watching it, to be honest, but Gavin Henson the super fit Rugby Player might keep me tuned in
That and maybe Ann Widdecombe as she is a game old bird, my feet were just so sore, so I wasn't in the party mood, so we just chilled in front of the TV watching Xfactor, then the NEW 71 Degrees North, which again had Gavin Hendson on it, swimming in frozen water (I'd warm him up!!) and the brilliant CSI and then I watched two old episodes of Your Face Or Mine, with the lovely Jimmy Carr again, & June Sarpong they really should recommission that show it's so funny!!....


Sunday 12th Sept was another chilled day with a visit to the Muswell Hill Farmers Market, where I saw the cutest dog, a Pug crossed with a Spaniel, I also saw a hysterical basebal  cap Costa has with a revolving fan in the peak, too cool your forehead powered by a solar panel on the crown, it actually worked & was a good idea for fishing or golfing, but less than attractive, but would of been great for Gemma's Hat themed Birthday Piss Up at The Orange Tree if I'd gone. Headed back home at 4.30pm in readiness for the week ahead. At the station I saw another gorgeous puppy a Golden Labrador & Lassie /Collie Cross, too too cute, got home & Crashed out on the bed!!.... & watched The remake of Bouquet of Barbed Wire (I loved the original) before having an early night!
Bouquet Of Barbed Wire Original
Bouquet Of Barbed Wire Remake