Below is Sundays Article, about me in The Sunday People's supplement 'Take It Easy' Then Below that, is the article AGAIN & what I "actually said", which goes to show, the difference, between fact & fiction, & Journalists licence!!
The Article
Caroline Flack I say go for it girl!
Sexy singleton June Smith, 47 from St. Albans has dated over 150 toy boys including teenagers. As the UK’s top cougar, June, from St. Albans has no plans to marry. Here June who has only ever dated three men her own age, or older gives her tips on how to date younger men and insists being a cougar is no longer taboo – it's something all older women must do...
I started dating younger guys when I was 30 and among the guys I went out with some were teens lads aged 18 to 20. I haven't look back since. I tried dating men my own age but they are boring, bad in bed and frankly not eager to please. Dating toy boys is my obsession and addiction. They make me feel young, I have fun with them, I don't want kids and marriage and young men keep me on my toes. They know how to enjoy life and what many women might find surprising is sexually young men, especially teenagers, are extremely adept and if not they're eager to take direction in the bedroom.
I don't want marriage but I love dating toy boys and having relationships with them. We both know the rules from the start. The main one is the relationship wont be long term but we will enjoy each others company. For me it also means I never know what's around the corner. The guys I date range in age from 18 to 30. I meet then at clubs, out grocery shopping, at art galleries, at service stations and it's always the young guys who hit on me. I am also into twenty something music, and television shows like TOWIE. I'm just am young at heart.
But even if you are an intellectual older women there is a nerdy teen for you you just need to look for it. Id suggest for shy, older ladies try dating sites offering younger men, there's loads out there. I don't like all younger men though. One key rule is you have to learn to identify the teens and toy boys who only want a one night stand so they can brag to their mates or get the older woman experience. I'm not interested in being a trophy (shag). The young guys who have older heads on their shoulders who want to spend time with you and enjoy sex and conversation. They're the ones I like.
If a young guy comes up to me giving it all that with a cheesy chat-up line I ignore him but if they come up and start a conversation I give them a chance. For older women who want to date younger guys I say beware the lads who want someone to practise their love skills on, ones who are after a sugar mummy or guys who want a quick leg over. Even if you lack confidence don't fall for flattery straight off, don't jump into bed the first chance they offer and ensure they do the work.
A lot of the young men I've had relationships are quite sexually experienced. They've told me they read women's magazines, study what women want and put effort into foreplay. If you give them a suggestion they don't get moody like an older bloke, they take it on board. Surprisingly its teen girls that make many teen guys turn to older women. So many guys have told me all women their age are interested in is how they look, what someones wearing and their weight. They also claim young girls are so desperate to get a boyfriend they drop their knickers too easily and are not great in bed. To Caroline Flack I say go for it girl. Ignore those silly teenage girls threatening you. The reason Harrys probably dating you is because he reckons teen girls his age are silly, cant perform in bed and cant hold a conversation. Dont be frightened. There is nothing wrong with dating a teen.
Women like Demi Moore have made it cool to date and marry younger guys and ironically nowadays teen women seen with older blokes are labelled gold diggers were as an older woman with a younger bloke is given the thumbs up. Anyone who thinks its taboo to date a teen needs their head read. These teens know what theyre getting into and do it because they want to and because girls their own age are not providing what they want.'
Julie's Top Tips For Dating younger men (didn't get my name right on this bit on The People website!!!)
1.Avoid the one night stand guys
2.If theyre bad in bed tell them and help them improve
3.Let them pay for dates then offer to pay
4.Date a teen interested in what you are interested in
5.Be prepare for your mates to be jealous
6.Let the relationship evolve if you want a long term relationship ensure you make that clear early on
7.Remain in control and remember the teens with you because of the person you are age doesnt matter
NOW, What I actually Said!!!
I guess, I've gone on around 5 dates a year, on average, since I turned 17-18 & started dating (That is a 30yr time period) so they timed 5 by 30 & it then became "Sexy singleton June Smith, 47 from St. Albans has dated over 150 toy boys including teenagers" Which made it look like I'd had had sex with 150 toyboy's & I'm dating teens in my 40's when I didn't become sexually active until I was 23 years & 11 months old!
As the UK’s top cougar, (UK's top Cougar PML, their title NOT mine) June, from St. Albans, has no plans to marry. (I never said, I had no plans to marry, I said I'd love to get married. But I'd never marry, for the sake of being married, only if Mr right comes along. As I'm very traditional, where marriage is concerned & believe it should be for life & not to be jumped into lightly)
Here June, who has only ever dated three men, her own age, or older (True, as most of the men who ask me out, are younger & the older ones, who ask, are not my type, or divorced, with emotional baggage that I can do without!) gives her tips on how to date younger men, and insists being a cougar is no longer taboo – it's something all older women must do... (I NEVER said, ALL women, MUST do!! If you like your men your age, or older, good for you, why would I dictate, that you MUST date someone younger? Utter rubbish!!)
I started dating younger guys when I was 30 (Actually from when I was 20!!) and among the guys I went out with some were teens lads aged 18 to 20. (Yes when I was in my 20's) Plus one 6ft 6" 18yr old, marine engineer, with a Greek God body & 6 pack & lots and lots of intellect, who told me he was 25, and I had no reason o doubt him, when I was 36!! So an 18yr difference. I haven't dated anyone under 22 since turning 40!! And now he'd be 29 to 30 while I'm 47, nobody looks twice when I'm out with 30yr olds.
I haven't look back since. I tried dating men my own age but they are boring, bad in bed and frankly not eager to please. (What I actually said was, I have dated a few men my age & older. But the ones who have asked me out, were really not my type, but I gave them a fair chance, to grow on me, with a few dates. But I found, we had no interests in common, with little conversation, other than football, drinking & how much they fancy me (Which I find boring to listen too) While some others have great personalities, but they are newly divorced & just want to have fun & don't want to get into another serious relationship & I'm not looking for a bit of fun, or to be their bit of fun!! Also, of the few, older men, I have been intimate with, in relationships. I have been shocked, by just how they have no idea, how to please a woman in bed, and have a "I know what I'm doing" attitude. So when you try & give subtle direction, when its obvious they don't know what they are doing!! They ignore you!!
Dating toy boys is my obsession and addiction. (Dating anybody, let alone toyboy's is NOT my OBSESSION nor an ADDICTION & at NO TIME, did I say, either of these things!!) They make me feel young (I NEVER said this either!! They don't make me feel young, or old either!! utter piffle)
I have fun with them, I don't want kids and marriage and young men keep me on my toes. They know how to enjoy life and what many women might find surprising is sexually young men, especially teenagers, are extremely adept and if not they're eager to take direction in the bedroom. (What I actually said) was "I have always had, a good relationship with the younger guys, that I have dated. We laugh a lot & go on fun dates, not just the cinema, drinks or a meal. My biological clock never really ticked & it's too late for me to have children now. Although I'm happy to be a step mum & it would be nice to be married one day. Younger boyfriends, have always been caring & affectionate, plus take the time to listen to me, (not just a nod & a grunt, while you know it's going in one ear & out the other!) & they have always been very attentive lovers. They seem to have better knowledge, of a woman's anatomy & how to please, than the older men I've dated. Who seem to be more selfish in bed & only caring about their own orgasm! They read womens mags to find out what women want in bed"
I don't want marriage (I NEVER said this) but I love dating toy boys, and having relationships with them. (I NEVER said this either) We both know the rules from the start. The main one is the relationship wont be long term but we will enjoy each others company. (I NEVER said this!!)..... I did say, I somehow always end up with a younger, man. Maybe because it's MAINLY younger men that approach me for dates mostly. But if you are postmenopausal, you will have to realise that, unless you're with a younger man, who never wants children. Your relationship with them, has no long term future & you will have to weigh up, if you're really prepared & willing for that? Or if he says he doesn't want kids if that will change with time!!
For me it also means I never know whats around the corner. (I NEVER said that) Whatever is that supposed to mean, in relation to younger men?? The guys I date range in age from 18 to 30. (NO the guys I "HAVE" dated in the "PAST" 30 years of dating, Have ranged from 18-30, the guys I date NOW range from 28 to 43)
I meet them at clubs, out grocery shopping, at art galleries, at service stations and it's always the young guys who hit on me. (I actually said) "NONE of my relationships have been, with someone, I have met in a bar, or nightclub. They have been started from guys chatting to me at either, an art gallery, or in the supermarket, while sat in a park, on a sunny day, or in the library, through work, or friends, or a house party! Ordinary laid back situations!!" No idea where they got service stations from? I don't even drive!!... But it is the younger guys, that approach me & not vice versa!!
I am also into twenty something music, and television shows like TOWIE. I'm just am young at heart. This Cracked me up!! "I'm into twenty-something music!!!"... PML what the bloody hell is, twenty-something music, when it's at home??... How fuddy duddy does that sound!!!? LMAO!!! I do like TOWIE, but only because I laugh at just how brain dead, 95% of them, on there, are!! But yes, I am young at heart!!
But even if you are an intellectual older women there is a nerdy teen for you you just need to look for it. (But EVEN if you're an intellectual older woman).... WTF?? That sounds like, most older women are thick, but if you're the RARE intellectual, you can have a brainy nerdy teen... LMAO <I NEVER SAID THIS!!> I did say. For a age gap, relationship to work, you need things in common. An uneducated woman, may feel intimidated, by an Eaton graduate, whether he is older or younger. Likewise an academic woman, will be bored, by a simpleton lover, however hot he is, whether he is younger, or older!
Id suggest for shy, older ladies try dating sites offering younger men, there's loads out there. (I said) If you're shy & not confident in approaching men, to chat within social settings, and want to start dating, there are lots of dating sites out there, with a wide range of age ranges, to chat to online & break the ice with! I don't like all younger men though. (True..... But what I actually said is) I often get messaged online by young guys, who are into older women. They're under the impression, that as I'm single & of a certain age, I'll be flattered by the attention & be up for a bit of fun.... I'm NOT!! Also as most are pimply, pizza faced, youths, who I'd not look at twice!! Just because I have dated younger guys, doesn't mean ANY young guy will do!!
One key rule is you have to learn to identify the teens, and toyboys, who only want a one night stand, so they can brag to their mates, or get the older woman experience. I'm not interested in being a trophy (shag). (True)... You have to question, why a young guy is after you & 'be realistic!' Sadly, there are a lot of lonely, older women, out there, that are taken in, by a bit of flattery. That's why, so many are scammed by foreign toyboy holiday romances!.... BUT I did not word it, as coarsely as they did!)
The young guys who have older heads on their shoulders who want to spend time with you and enjoy sex and conversation. They're the ones I like. (Not exactly what I said)... I said "The younger guys I find myself in a relationship with, are old souls, young guys, with old heads on their shoulders, interesting & intelligent, who are good company & sensible, but young enough to do fun stuff & let their hair down, as well as loving & attentive! Most run their own businesses"
If a young guy comes up to me giving it all that with a cheesy chat-up line I ignore him, but if they come up and start a conversation I give them a chance. (What I actually said is) I'm not impressed by cheesy chat up lines, very few are original or funny, or the course "Ello darlin don't get many of those to a pound" type. But if a guy engages me in conversation & is charming & interesting & I'm attracted to him, if he asks for my number, and I'm single, I'll give him it.
For older women who want to date younger guys, I say beware the lads who want someone to practise their love skills on, ones who are after a sugar mummy, or guys who want a quick leg over. Even if you lack confidence don't fall for flattery straight off, dont jump into bed the first chance they offer, and ensure they do the work. (I said that apart from) "Ensure they do the work" .....whatever that means???
A lot of the young men Ive had relationships are quite sexually experienced. They've told me they read womens magazines, study what women want and put effort into foreplay. If you give them a suggestion they dont get moody like an older bloke, they take it on board.(I actually said) Luckily for me, in general, my younger boyfriends, have been caring, affectionate, attentive lovers, which did surprised me at first. Some said that due to having sisters/female friends they know women talk & would hate to be described as bad in bed. So they studied women's magazines, to find out what women want/need. Where as, unfortunately, the few older partners, rarely bothered with foreplay & even then it was a half arsed effort, it didn't last long & then they pumped away for a few mins, rolled over & went to sleep, while I was still nowhere near an orgasm. So I'd of been better of single & DIYing!! As the older brigade, chose to ignore any gentle suggestions, as they thought they knew best & only concentrated on themselves orgasming, so the older man relationships never lasted long!
Surprisingly its teen girls that make many teen guys turn to older women. So many guys have told me all women their age are interested in is how they look, what someone's wearing and their weight. They also claim young girls are so desperate to get a boyfriend they drop their knickers too easily and are not great in bed. (What I actually said was) My young male friends & some male dates, have told me, girls their age bore them/do their heads in. They say they have to step on eggshells round them & they are too high maintenance & self absorbed & needy! Conversation has to revolve round them 24/7, how good looking they are, how pretty they are, how hot they are & they must give constant compliments about hair, tan, clothes, figure & treat her like a princess, or feel their roth. They say they are on edge 24/7 just in case, they accidentally, say or do, something wrong & its hard work for little appreciation, or attention back. Also they act like the guy, should be grateful, that they jumped into their bed quickly & then lay in bed, like a sack of spuds, expecting the guy to do it all. Where as they can be themselves, and relax in older women's company & talk about things, other than hair, tans, fashion & TOWIE! etc.
To Caroline Flack I say go for it girl. Ignore those silly teenage girls threatening you. The reason Harrys probably dating you is because he reckons teen girls his age are silly, cant perform in bed and can't hold a conversation. (What I said was) Harry looks quite young, younger than his age, he'd not appeal to me, but if he is happy & she is happy, good for them, it's nobody's business but their own! The teenagers tweeting her death threats, saying to keep away from THEIR boyfriend, are being childish, stalkerish & aggressive. I'm sure that's not the kind of girl/woman Harry would be interested in!! In fact that's the kind of girl that he'd think Stalker about & avoid like the plague!! So they are showing him who to avoid by their actions.
Don't be frightened. There is nothing wrong with dating a teen. (I didn't say that at all) That depends on the people involved & the age gap! I personally would not be interested in a teenager, at the age I am now!!
Women like Demi Moore have made it cool to date and marry younger guys, and ironically nowadays teen women seen with older blokes are labelled gold diggers were as an older woman with a younger bloke is given the thumbs up. (I NEVER said Demi made it COOL at all) I DID say I think it's unfair, that the age gap has been blamed for her divorce! As many a Hollywood marriage, with a younger woman & older guy, has failed faster, than the 5yrs Demi & Ashton lasted. Their marriage was more of a victim to their careers & Hollywood, than to their age gap! Also it is a fact that gold diggers, are more looked down on these days, than cougars!!
Anyone who thinks its taboo to date a teen needs their head read. These teens know what they're getting into and do it because they want to and because girls their own age are not providing what they want.' (I NEVER said ANY of this) But I don't think it's taboo, to date a younger man. Age gap relationships can work & I know a few amid friends & family that do! My Brother's 1st wife of 15yrs was older, my sisters husband of 15-16yrs is 13yrs younger & very happy...
June's Top Tips For Dating younger men
1. Avoid the one night stand guys (Yep, unless that's all you want!)
2. If they're bad in bed tell them and help them improve (Actually I said, help any inexperienced lovers with subtle suggestions)
3. Let them pay for dates, then offer to pay (I actually said, if they expect you to pay for your very 1st date, know that they are after a meal ticket & free sex, so don't be taken for a mug!)
4. Date a teen interested in what you are interested in (What I actually said.... An age gap relationship will falter, if you don't have any common interests!! No mention of teens)
5. Be prepare for your mates to be jealous (PML I ABSOLUTELY NEVER said this!!)
6. Let the relationship evolve, if you want a long term relationship, ensure you make that clear early on. (I said... Make sure you both want the same thing, whether a casual fling, or a relationship, or it will get messy!)
7. Remain in control, and remember the teens with you because of the person you are age doesnt matter. (What I said is ... If your the needy type, who needs to know where your partner is 24/7 & needs constant reassurance, about your looks because you lack confidence & feel old. Then a younger man will probably, stress you out & make you neurotic, so probably not a good idea, for you! But if you are happy with who you are, it can work out well!!
So there you go, the two don't read exactly the same!
Do They!??....
As for Psychotherapist Marisa Peer I thanked her for her comment's on twitter & said she might of thought differently if she knew me.... She said "I am sure I would these things are never personal, I am only ever giving comments, in my professional capacity" I pointed out, how could she do that, by reading a journalists words & without speaking to me, for a balanced view? Her comments on article are below with my asides in Bold
Psychotherapist Marisa Peer comments of June's choice of men.
She says: 'There's nothing wrong with an older women dating younger men and society is becoming more accepting of it. However in June's case the volume of men is concerning. 150 = 5 dates a year, over a period of 30 years. positively virginal in my books!! Plus, Date's & Sex, are NOT the same thing Marisa, get your mind out the gutter!!
She makes it clear she likes to be in control in relationships. When she says older men are boring bad in bed and not eager to please this translates to they are more sure of themselves and less eager to make an impression on her. No it means, they are selfish, no foreplay, or 2 minutes of lazy, half arsed, foreplay & then the same old, roll on, then pound away, for a few minutes, then roll off routine & then snore!!... I would call that them being rubbish, NOT them being self assured!!
I think June has low self-esteem and being able to attract a younger man makes her feel good about herself, envied and young. But long term it won't work. Yeah I really have low self-esteem lmao. I don't need a man to make me feel good about myself Marisa. If i did I would of jumped & said yes to the 1st guy who proposed to me. who just happened to be a multi millionaire.... But I didn't. Maybe you are judging me by your own standards!! It certainly doesn't make me feel envied, or young, when I'm in a relationship, with someone who just happens to be 4-10 years younger lol.... & it does work long term. It's worked for my sister & her toyboy husband, for the past 15yrs, despite their 13yr age gap!!
The difference between a 47 yr old and a 25 yr old is easier to deal with then a 55 yr old and a 32 yr old. When her sex drive diminishes, as it will as she enters menopause, she will have nothing to bond her to a partner. No matter what June says when you are 47 its hard to have shared interests with a teenager. Errr sorry but I entered the menopause 5yrs ago aged 42 Marisa! And at 47 YES I DO have shared interests with teenaged FRIENDS & relatives!! BUT I DON'T date Teenagers, now I'm in my 40's & only once dated one in my 30's & back then I thought he was 25, because he lied, and he was mature for his age, so this does not apply!!
And when you date a teen in your forties and meet his friends their girlfriends will be younger still and you will end up feeling like mum or even granny heightening your age insecurities. Again you WRONGLY assume, thanks to a journalist, that I date teens!! I DONT!!!
After 50 older women look less fun and more tragic. Even Samantha in Sex and the City looked rather desperate in the last film. What a rather misogynistic thing to say as a fellow woman!! I know a lot of fun & non tragic women in their 50's with younger guys & yes..... Not Teens
Demi Moore may have made it cool but Ashton cheated on her with younger women- a huge blow to her ego. Demi had to invest a huge amount of time and money into looking young for him which never allows you to feel loved for yourself.Demi never made it COOL, women don't date men to be COOL!! They date them because they have fallen for them! And Demi spent a lot of money to look good, for herself & to survive in an industry, that is ageist & looks driven, if you are still to get work, more than to just keep Aston. And no doubt he cheated, mainly due to their acting careers, keeping them apart, long distance, not just because a younger girl was hotter or better!!
I call it supermarket sweep. As women become aware of ageing they have an urge to prove they are still young by dating a succession of young virile men. As I have been dating younger guys since my 20's, your supermarket sweep theory, is a load of baloney!!
No one really envies Caroline Flack for being with Harry Styles - they wonder what on earth she sees in him while knowing she's a starter relationship for him not a keeper. You're right NOBODY envies them & Nobody except journalists & smitten One Direction fans, give a toss, about their age gap relationship!! As long as their happy, who gives a toss?? Who says a starter can't be a keeper? Maybe it's a starter, maybe not, who cares, except them?
