Dog Tired Week, Is A Pain In The Neck

Monday 6th June, I fell asleep around 5am, despite being dog tired from midnight, if I dreamt I don't recall it! Got up at 9.30am & had a wash & did hair & make-up & had a coffee & a bowl of porridge with raisins for breakfast, dressed in my 3/4 khaki jersey lounge trousers, my slashed back cream top with tiger print on front, my white EasyTone Reebok trainers, then slipped on my white puffa jacket, plus my khaki hooded body warmer on top, and ventured into the pouring rain & popped to the shop & got a Sun Paper & bumped in to my neighbour Kristie who is married to my friend Simon, who invited me round for a coffee & a gossip!! Which was a nice escape from the rain (Must be due for Wimbledon) Made a fuss of her spaniel Bobbie who I take out with me for a walk when its nice some days, caught up with the local gossip then when the rain had let up I headed back home & parcelled up my two eBay sales to send off. 

Put my Jacket & body warmer back on & put the parcels in my gunmetal sequinned tote & headed back out in the torrential rain, to the Post Office (So much for flaming June!!) I sent the items off, did a bit of banking, to be able to pay my rent by cheque tomorrow. Then I had a hours power walk round the park, for a bit of exercise, despite the poor weather. That over I popped into Tesco to check out the reduced section. There was about five or 6 people standing there, trying to see the offers, but all unable to get a look in, due to a selfish white woman, in a Muslim headscarf, who had slid the door open & blocked the area, while on her mobile phone. She was telling someone over the phone, every single item on offer, in the 5 shelf cabinet, and how much each was priced at (Unfuckingbelievable) 

So I went home. I took out the Quorn & Tofu I'd been marinating & diced it & put on skewers & grilled on my Foreman Grill, and had with a spinach, watercress, cucumber, tomato & red pepper salad. Which was very tasty. Then I did a lot of paperwork I needed to catch up with & sorted out my banking & bills files.

Then I did a bunch of job & audition searches & applied for a bunch as per usual, then I stopped for a coffee break & a read of the paper. The Front cover is about Ryan Giggs 8yr affair with his brothers wife (Classy Dude) It seems if your a pig ugly man who wants lots of sex become a footballer. I don't know what they saw in him? He treated them like a piece of meat at best & didn't 'treat' them in the other sense of the word. It seems he was an ungenerous tight-wad, who didn't even buy a round in the pub! Guess he knows how to spot gold digger, WAG, wannabe & those with low self esteem, who are easy of virtue & also knows how to manipulate them too. Apparently Wayne's brother has dumped his wife after hearing the news (Now there's a surprise!!)

Idiot Ken Clarke will let criminals do half their sentences time if they plead guilty. Obscene when sentences are far to short as it is anyway, and insulting to the victims of that crime! Instead he should be doubling the sentences of those who plead not guilty & are proven guilty!! Bean-sprouts are the latest food item to be blamed for the E.coli break out in Germany that has killed 22 so far (It  reminds me a slight variation on the Alien, Sophia's, plot to wipe out humans & take over, in the TV show The Event) I wouldn't put this past a test run, of food contamination, by Terrorists!!

Evicting gypsies from illegal camps has cost the UK £7Million in the past 3 years, Leeds City Council alone spent £930,000 evicting travellers from 285 illegal sites. That's £930,000 out of taxes they don't pay, think about that when your wondering how thy afford such lavish weddings on My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding. 

Cheryl Cole has been given 24hrs to decide if she will accept a lifeline to return to US Xfactor (Who cares) Apparently she is letting Simon sweat, as a punishment for her sacking!! Zzzzzzzzzzz!! Wise up girl your no big talent, just a pretty face & good clothes horse (When somebody else is choosing the clothes) You are beginning to believe your own hype, it wasn't long ago you was a council state Chav, it is Simon & one of his talent shows that put you where you are now, on what scant talent you have. You should be jumping at the 2nd chance not biting the hand that feeds you!!

Go it alone without Simon, or with Will-i-am & you will soon will vanish from the public eye (which will be a nice break for us, after Cheryl Cole overload over the past few years, there is bugger all left we haven't seen about her, unless they shove a small camera up her, during her next smear test!!) She Snubs this 2nd chance ...... HUGE Mistake!! As a singer as part of group Girls Allowed she's fine but, as a Solo artist she is Nothing Special!!

Sack The Stylist!!

I did the washing up & hoovered the sitting room, the hall & my bedroom. Then watched 'Home & Away' one of the best soaps on TV, definitely the best on UK TV at the moment, then I had a coffee with a KitKat & went through a load of old files & receipts, throwing out everything over 5yrs old. Deleted pics taken for eBay on my camera. I went online to check my messages & saw my hater GLPGodess had spouted the usual bile on my 'May Day' Blog yesterday, amazing how brave you are, when under a synonym! It's amusing to see the passive aggressive taunts, made to make me bite & hopefully hurt/annoy me, but they're wasting their time, Haters are nothing but Motivators! 

I'd have more respect for them if they said it to my face, as I am well aware, that it's someone I know, although they have tried their very best to make it appear as if they are just some random, commentating blog reader. But they've failed, making numerous, tell tail slip up's. I even purposely wove a few things into my blog occasionally, knowing what buttons to push, and the response was always exactly as expected. My friends find GLPGodess posts absolutely hysterical, they're always looking forward to what their next diatribe of spite & bitterness (Under the poor guise, of constructive criticism) will be. So much so, that they get rather disappointed if  GLP hasn't been on ranting for a while. 

We even take bets on which 4, of the 6 recurring trigger buttons they will try to push, in an ongoing attempt to touch a nerve (they're normally in batches of 4) The most common at 1st was to keep calling me a woman in my 50's (When seeing as they know me, they know full well, I'm in my 40's) Wrongly thinking I'm that vain, to be bothered if a 'Stranger' though I was older than I am & hoping I'd bite & say I'm in my 40's so they could reply, 'Oh really, I don't mean to sound rude, But you look so much older!!'  So laughably predictable, anyway enough GLP talk, it will only boost GLP's already inflated, pious, ego!! 


I watched 'The Hotel Inspector', followed by the NEW, 'The Restaurant Inspector', followed in turn by 'Made in Chelsea' on E4 +1. Which was amusing, especially when Ollie, who has just recently come out as Bi said "I'm just tired of being bummed out all the time!!!" (Looks like he's going straight back into that closet then!?) I had a bath & went to bed at 12.30am, with the rain still lashing down outside & listened to my Paul McKenna 'I Can Make You Thin' CD then settled down to sleep. (Calories consumed 1,301)  

Tuesday 7th June, despite a early night I didn't fall asleep until after 5.30am, dreamt but it was all a blur on waking at 9.30am. My neck & shoulders were aching on waking, went to my bedside draw to get some of my prescription painkillers but I'd run out I called to get a doctors appointment but I can't get one until Wednesday, my knees & hips were painful too, Bloody Rheumatoid Arthritis, no escaping it, it's hereditary both mum & dad had it & I have had it since 8yrs, though not as bad as now. I guess I can't escape knee/hip replacements like them, in the future either, unless there are medical breakthrough's, whoopee can't wait!! .....NOT! 

I dressed the same as yesterday, made a coffee & porridge with raisin's for breakfast & popped out for my power walk, before it rained again. I go to try ease my hips & knees, as well as for the exercise taking Bobbie, Stanley & Betty with me for some company. I got a call from my friend Damon (The brother of my Ex Murray) to catch up for a chat, he said it was a shame the train fare was so ridiculous to Cheshunt/Theobalds Grove, we'd have to take a rain check until he has a car again, he'd really wanted to treat me to his local Turkish Restaurant for the weekend, which was sweet of him.


I got in at 2pm with the sky, grey black & the pain in my neck & shoulders increasing steadily, I had a fresh salad sandwich & a Diet Coke for lunch & read a bit of the paper, Front page is still on Giggs betrayal of his brother & wife, bet he wished he'd not of bothered with that super-injunction now!! The press are going to ride this one out, for as long as possible for trying to muzzle them over Imogen! Apparently Giggs has convinced his wife it's not true, either she is dumb or wants to ignore the truth.


Brilliant Eddie Kid 51 One of the greatest stunt riders in the world (Until a horrific crash left him brain damaged) finished the London Marathon last night 43days after starting, what a courageous man, he was told he would never walk again in 1996! I remember having posters of handsome Eddie, on my wall as a teen.

Cheryl Cole's Xfactor career is over, after the stupid girl turned down a 2nd chance at the American Xfactor. Well hopefully that means we won't be bored shitless, by her being in every magazine, newspaper available & on every news item, music channel as well as adverts, for a while then, that will be a nice break.... (Though somehow I doubt we will be that lucky) She may even totally vanish, if new manager Will-i-am continues with his poor advice/management style. At least with him she's with someone with matching poor fashion sense. Also someone who made that god awful song with her 'Three Words' I guess those 3 words are 'This Song's shite!!'

Meanwhile Bean-sprouts have been eliminated as the source of the German E.coli outbreak, only 100+ more vegetables to go what next??.... Talking of Dangerous vegetables some vile piece of scum, barely further up the evolutionary scale than a fungus, in Worcestershire has murdered 20 cats & 1 dog with anti-freeze poisoning them, leaving them to die in agony, in the space of a few weeks, the Evil C**t!! A bloody Serial Killer/Terrorist in the making hope they are caught by a cat owner & then they're made to drink their anti-freeze & then be left alone die a painful death!


But by 4pm I was in such agony with my neck & shoulders, that I felt physically sick with pain, causing me to retch, and I had to go lay down, fearing it might trigger a migraine! At 6.45pm Nat text me saying  'Hey lady, any plans 4 ur birthday?'  I replied 'Nope absolutely stony broke'  he replied 'Me & Candy r coming up 2 u for lunchy' I said that sounded like a plan, he added they had to leave around 2ish (No doubt for Candy to pick up the kids) and he said they'd be here around 10ish. It took until 7pm, 3hrs later, for the pain to finally subside enough, to go to the shop, to get strong fast-acting Nurofen Plus Capsules. I took 4 (double the dosage) as the pain was less, but still unbearable!! Then I laid down some more, until I felt a bit better (Not just a pain in the neck, but a real pain in the ass) as I had planned to get lots done round the flat today, but the pain has prevented me. 

I got up later at 8.50pm after the pain had subsided a bit more, as I was hungry. So I made a salad with some tinned tuna, as fish oils are meant to be good for joints & bones, with chopped celery, peppers, cucumber, tomato & watercress. Then I lay on the bed & watched 'CSI, CSI Miami' double bill & 'CSI' taking another 3 Nurofen at 10pm with a decaf coffee, as the pain started to get worse again!! By 1am miserable with pain I took 3 more Nurofen capsules (finishing the pack) & tried to get some sleep (Calories Consumed 1,036) 

Wednesday 8th June, I was still awake at 4am due to the unbearable pain gnawing away at my neck & shoulders like a raging toothache, that's been transferred to another part of the body!! I tried removing my pillows to lay flat, to see if that helped the pain in my neck & shoulders, eventually I fell asleep around 6am but although I'm aware I dreamt, my sleep was so restless I can't recall it. Woke in pain at 9.30am & had a bath to try ease the pain & also washed my hair, with difficulty, as the pain was travelling through my shoulders & down both of my arms. 

Carefully dried my hair & put on my dark grey 3/4 gym trousers, plus my Hydro Active Challenge 5K run mini marathon T-shirt from 2007 (power walked not ran) & my TrimSole B&W fitflops. An Ex text me at 10.18am responding to my FB inbox message saying 'I didn't delete you??? Are you in London today? X'  Well seeing he is no longer a FB friend & I didn't delete him, it doesn't need to be a case for Miss Marple, to determine that in fact, yes indeed he did delete me! I had no credit to reply ... so obviously didn't! Fail!!


I went to the shop to get more Nurofen Extra Capsules to try stem the pain & took 4 again with a coffee & porridge with raisins for breakfast. My friend Mike Called & he asked me what I was doing for my Birthday? I said I had nothing planned as I'm broke, he said he was going up to Leeds around the 19th-20th, so how did I fancy a drink or meal for my Birthday a few days early? I said that sounded like a plan, he said he'd call me soon. I decided I'd better get out & do my 2hr power-walk, quick. As it looked like it wouldn't be long before it lashed it down all afternoon again, like yesterday! I took Bobbie, Betty & Stanley with me, to make it more fun & less of a chore!... Plus hopefully take my mind off the pain!! 

Then I dropped a rent & electric cheque into my letting agents. Getting home at 3pm, just before the sky's opened up! I made a jacket potato with baked beans & grated cheese for lunch, with some salad. Then read The Sun paper I'd bought en route home. The front page is about Ryan Giggs paying £30,000 for a baldness treatment, machine that massages his follicles (Unlike Imogen who massaged his bollicles) After the stress of being caught with his pants down with 2 women (Neither his wife!) has made his hair fall out! He'd better get his eyes checked too while his at it, you know what they say about too much sex!! (Imogen & Natasha should do the same, but for different reasons)


Cheryl Cole, has thrown her toys out the pram & stamped her little Christian Louboutin clad feet, in a Temper Tantrum. Saying her relationship is over!! Stupid, Childish Girl! Still blaming Simon for humiliating her. Sorry love, but being fired didn't make you look half as bad, as your Childish, Prima Donna, Strop, behaviour, does NOW!!! Simon was a great guy to have on side & HE Made you!! Keep on acting like the Spoilt Brat, your acting as now!! Soon he will Stop feeling bad, for what was after all a business (NOT a personal) decision, and get royally pissed off with you & he is not someone you'd want to cross, as He Can Break You, as easily as He Made You!! You have got too big for your designer boots & think you are a lot more talented than you are!!.

 Is Simon's Elbow, Shielding The Modesty, Of A Female Nudist, 
In The Audience??

I finished the paper & went online & applied to several more jobs & auditions by email. I then did some ironing, while watching 'Come Dine With Me' & put a blue/green/grey wash in the machine. Then watched yesterdays 'Home & Away' that I missed due to pain, then watched today's on 5 Star. Then made a cappuccino & had it with a chunky KitKat then took a bunch of pic's of my Vintage 80's, Jungle, Designer coats/jackets on eBay (That I'd listed for free at the weekend!) & downloaded them onto eBay. Then at 9pm I watched 'The Apprentice' at 10pm I was feeling hungry & realised I'd not had dinner, so had another bowl of porridge with raisins again! Then I watched 'The Apprentice: Your Fired' & 'Desperate Housewives' before getting ready for bed & doing a bunch of online surveys. Finally settling down to sleep at 1am (Calories consumed 1,375)


Thursday 9th June,  I finally fell asleep around 5.30am & had two dreams one where I was going on holiday with my sister Julie & her husband Erdal, & maybe my brother Bill but I am not sure, feel there was a 3rd person but can't recall seeing them in my dream. I am not sure what country we were heading for? Maybe Turkey, I don't know but I was packing my case last minute (Unlike me I'm normally packed 1-2weeks beforehand, to make sure I have everything & nothing is in the laundry) and the clock was ticking to set off for the airport & Erdal was loading the car! It was then it suddenly dawned on my my 10yr passport, in it's baby pink cover Expired in June 2010!!! 

Shit!! then I was wondering if the quick 1yr passport, you use to be able to get from the Post Office, is in circulation yet or not? Then I dreamt something about being in the company of or friends, with some male & female models. I think I was showing them some of my fashion designs, I was chatting to one guy, who had short wavy black hair & a buff bod about his model portfolio & if I recall correct we were flirting. I woke at 11.30am, wow 6hrs sleep that's almost double what I have had all week.


I slipped on my 3/4 grey gym trousers & a Versace T-shirt & TrimSoles, after I had a wash & did my hair & popped to the shop for a Sun paper & a couple of Diet Cokes. It's grey miserable & rainy out, like dusk nothing like Summer. I didn't bother with breakfast as it was almost lunch time, so I made a cheese salad sandwich, which I washed down with a Diet Coke & read the paper. The front page says soft justice secretary Ken Clarke must go....  (PLEEEEEEASE!!!!) PM David Cameron has told him to scrap his crazy plans, to halve jail terms for serious criminals, that plead guilty (I should Bloody think so too!!) Talking of Vile Criminals Libyan Madman Colonel Gaddafi gave his troops Viagra & ordered mass rapes to terrorise rebels, it was claimed last night. Over 100 were raped in some areas! What a repulsive, evil man!

Roy Skelton the man behind the voices of the Darlik's plus, George & Zippy from  children's show Rainbow has died aged 79 from Pneumonia after a stroke. Talking of strokes a tearful teenager told a court how dwarf actor Nicholas Read (Who played a Ewok in Star Wars, Return Of the Jedi & a Goblin in Harry Potter) fondled himself next to her on a train. The 17yr old said he touched himself under a bowler-style jugglers hat, that rested on his lap, for 30mins after the 7.55pm train left Kings Cross. She was trapped against the window & said nothing, in case he touched her, but reported him (getting off next to her) Once she got off herself at Leicester, he was arrested at Sheffield. Asked why he had not put his hat on the luggage rack, he said he could not reach it. I wonder if he will get a 'Short' or a 'Stiff' sentence?

 Ewank Ewok

Lately, we haven't had enough of Cheryl Cole in the papers, but luckily she is auctioning off 20 of her favourite dresses to charity, for anyone rich enough to bid & skinny enough to fit in the 'Size 8' dresses. They must be smaller than that!! I was a size 8 two years ago & surely I wasn't that skinny & at 5ft 8.5" I'm taller than her! The dresses include a white halter-neck, Roberto Cavalli dress. A black Tory Burch dress with leather trim that she wore to boot camp for her 1st series of Xfactor. A multi mauve & blue sequinned Herve Lerger dress. A nothing special emerald green Paul & Joe dress (That looks more Florence & Fred) which she wore on her 1st day of Xfactor. A hot pink strapless dress by Herve Lerger. A drab looking grey high necked dress by Twenty8Twelve. A multicoloured Aztec print 3.1 Phillip Lim frock. A navy, green & white Milly NY dress she wore when JLS auditioned. A peach dress by Giles Decon & a lovely blue/black Herve Lerger dress. 

 One Of The Auction Frocks

 The Hot Pink Strapless Herve Lerger Dress

Aztec print 3.1 Phillip Lim frock

Jennie text at 1.30pm & said to come over this Saturday & Next Friday at 8pm if I'm free. I did some job searches & applied for a bunch of jobs online & then did the same with auditions on StarNow, then cleared out another load of paperwork then during a brief break in the rain I popped to the post box to post off a cheque for a bill. 

Then watched 'Come Dine With Me' & 'Home And Away' before fixing some Prawn Tikka Marsala with saffron rice for dinner, with a berry berry Solero for desert. Watched Sarah Beeny's 'Help My House Is Falling Down' then made a coffee a literary agent & publisher contacted me out of the blue, about my two half written books one called 'Sophie's Secret Diary's' and the 2nd yet untitled one about my Ghost/ESP experiences since childhood. Saying he would be interested in seeing some of the work on my books if I don't already have an agent. 

That's Life - Adrian Mills

Which was unexpected & both interesting especially as I was told by 'That's Life' presenter Adrian Mills, that I should pursue writing. Also it is somewhat like fate that he contacted me today, because I was going through some paper work, with the intention of putting what I have written book wise, already, by hand, onto my PC, to write more as & when I find the time. Caught up with the backlog of my blog writing for the rest of the evening while watching 'NCIS & CSI NY' then went to bed at 1.30am (Calories consumed 1,514)

Friday 10th June, I eventually fell asleep some time after 6am & had a dream where I had moved home to a big city, possibly London, I was at a function with a pretty blonde girl a who looked like Caggie Dunlop (Made In Chelsea) or Natasha Williams (Neighbours) It was the 1st function of someone we knew & the venue itself was very grand, with a lot of wood wall panelling, I seemed to be chatting to a young handsome well to do guy, not sure if he was a friend, work colleague or boyfriend, we were eating a desert which was a load of mixed spices mixed into either cream or crème fresh, before I was due to head off somewhere. 

 Caggie Dunlop

Natasha Williams

I woke at 11.30am after around five & a half hours sleep. It is still gloomy & grey out & not how June should be. I had a shower & did hair & make-up & dressed the same as yesterday. I popped to the shop for a paper & some caffeine free Diet Coke's taking a load of rubbish out with me for the wheelie bin. I got home made a cheese & sliced onion roll for brunch, then sat down to watch the news & then read the paper!

The front page is how scumbag Ryan Giggs has offered his brother £250K to keep quiet about him sleeping with his wife!! (And no doubt all the other dirt he has on his brother) What total scum, not only is offering money insulting, but seeing he betrayed his brother & is a Multi Millionaire the sum is also insulting £250K what a tight-wad!! Even a Million would be insulting!! I hope Rhodri throws it in his face I'm sure he could make much more for an exclusive, with one of the big papers, seeing they are keen for Giggs blood after his attempted Super-injunction taken out on them!

 Brotherly Love

Once lunch & the paper was finished, I did some more sorting of the back room. Shame my attic doesn't have a pull down ladder & light like my home in Sussex, I could put boxable eBay items up there out of the way until sold! I did a bit of ironing of my dry laundry & put it away in draws/wardrobes. Money was taken out of my account, this week, for an item I returned 2weeks ago (Which was returned by recorded delivery & signed for on May 26th, I have constantly informed them they have it & I have proof , yet despite saying they will refund 'IF' they have it (Which they bloodywell have!!) they have not done so, so if not done by Monday I will be talking to the fraud dept of my bank! As well as going to Watchdog & similar!! I went online and did a bunch of job searches & as usual applied for a shed load of jobs. 

I made battered fish & chips for dinner, with some salad on the side, then caught up with & finished one blog, while watching the soaps & Channel 4's Comedy Gala, which was rather disappointing as apart from Jonathan Ross & John Bishop, I'd seen all of the routines the other comedians did, before, by them. The adverts where the comedians were Incorporated in present adverts were amusing though. Then I watched 'The Ricky Gervais Show' & then 'Comic's Choice: Sean Lock' retiring to bed at 1.330am

Saturday 11th June, I didn't fall asleep until after 7am (Bloody Insomnia) I know I dreamt but all I can recall is, what seemed like a swarm of bee's/wasps buzzing round my kitchen, so I grabbed some household cleaner & sprayed it on them & they fell down dead. I thought 'Wow that is more effective than insect spray' but when I went to clear them off my floor they seemed to be just two big fluffy Bumble Bee's the size of new born ducklings or chicks, and I felt awful as they looked so cute, a bit like the one's in the Vodafone Ads & I like Bumble Bee's!! I then went into the lounge to call my dad to come see the huge Bee's! Then I woke at 11am to bright sunshine (Which didn't last for long) I got up had a wash pulled on my jogging bottoms & turquoise frilly sleeved t-shirt & popped to the shop for a paper & a Diet coke.

I  made myself a bowl of breakfast & then I checked my eBay status, 2 days to go & one jacket has been bought & numerous watchers on my Vintage Designer, Jungle Garments. did the washing up then put some bed linen in the wash, I have been trying out a new freebie laundry detergent, but it's not as good as my usual Percil Gel at cleaning & it leaves no fresh aroma on the washing once cleaned! 

I put away some ironed laundry & did the washing up. Chatted to my friend Kathryn briefly on Twitter haven't really been on there this week, as I have been feeling quite down & also in a lot of pain, so I normally retreat into my cave at these times!! around 2.30-3pm I had a cheese & onion roll for lunch, with some Doritos (I bought a big bag of, 12 bags of Doritos & the same of Wotsits last week for just £1 in the Poundland in their 2 for 1 offer) Watched 'Come Dine With Me' (very funny) while doing work online, then joined CastingCallPro which (Caggie Dunlop is on as an actress, 'Made In Chelsea'  then read the paper....


The Front page is about Bruce Forsyth getting a knighthood, I'm pleased for him, but maybe he will now let somebody else take over on 'Strictly Come Dancing' or get a new script/joke writer, as it's so corny & so obvious what the punch line is leading up to be, it's embarrassing. I'd rather remember him on top form, on things like The Generation Game!

News that Rooney's hooker Jenny Thompson was rushed into hospital, after an expected Valium overdose, I'm guessing it's over her parents being suspects of drug farming & not over any shame over Rooney! Pippa Middleton modelled at a university fashion show, like her sister Kate, the difference being that Pippa's dress wasn't too bad unlike, the ugly, tatty, see-through, dish cloth, looking one Kate famously modelled 

 Kate's Revolting Catwalk Dress 2002

 Pippa's Catwalk Dress 2011

Proof that Gobby Scouser Cheryl Cole's, Diva behaviour over Xfactor has backfired on her comes today via the words of Simon Cowell. By saying her sacking was 'No big deal' adding 'It really wasn't such a big deal as everyone thought. Truth is you've got to move on, it's about the contestants. They've got no interest in us bickering!'  Very telling for 'it's about the contestants' read 'it's not all about you Cheryl' and for 'They've got no interest in us bickering' read 'Your throwing your toys out of the pram & don't expect me to lower myself to your level & join in!' 

He went on to say 'I hope we're going to be friends going forward. She'll be mad at me for a while, but I didn't do anything wrong'  In other words.... Cheryl your not grown up enough, to deal with this in an adult fashion, the way Dannii did. But the offer of friendship is there, if you wish to take it! But I am not going to chase round after you, begging for forgiveness, when I haven't done anything wrong, to apologise for! If you snub my friendship then that's your decision, but I'm being the bigger person here!!

Germany's killer E.coli outbreak's source has finally been found & tainted bean-sprouts from an 'Organic Farm' were found to be the cause! After saying it wasn't bean-sprouts a day or two ago. I wonder if all those 'Organic is Best' snobs who look down their noses at those that don't buy organic will go quiet for a while now??

Oddly after last nights dream, there was a whole article on, how Britain's growing hobby is Bee keeping, saying even Breakfast TV presenter Bill Turnbull is one of them, and he has even written a foreword, to the Bee Manual from Haynes!

 "Hi is that Bill?? 
I wondered if you needed a early morning fashion expert?

I'd Bee Ideal!"

I  went round Jennies around 7.30pm  & her two daughters Lara & Francesca were calling for auntie jooooooooooooonie to go up to see them in bed & see there latest toys etc Then it was back down stairs for Tuna & cucumber sandwiches some diet coke & an apple while watching the Film 'Sahara' Staring Matthew McConaughey & Penelope Cruz, Matthew is a funny one great bod & often looks handsome in films, but some times in his fragrance Ads they make him look unattractive. 

 Matthew in Sahara

After that it was time to watch the double bill of the NEW Camelot, which looked right up my street (& was) though disappointed at the unattractive weedy looking Arthur (his brother looks more king like) Good bodice ripping rampant romp though!! Edgar asked me if I saw the final of 'The Mentalist' when you find out about Red John on Friday? I said no I stupidly forgot about it & watched Ch4's rubbish Comedy Gala!! They said if it's not repeated in the week to watch it at theirs on catch up!!! 

I left there at around 12.15-12.30am  got in & had a wash and went to bed & watched 'Egypt's Warrior King' on Thutmosis & 'Engineering Ancient Egypt' About the amazing structures of ancient Egypt which focused on 2 Pharaohs one being my personal hero Ramses II so I loved seeing more about Karnak & Thebes then crashed out at 2.30am (Calories consumed 1,422)

Sunday 12th June, Woke at 9.45am I dreamt I'd been on a TV show & was now sat in the audience with Polly & a black female TV presenter it may have been Tricia, it wasn't Oprah, don't recall much else about the dream except for being in an amazing designer boutique and looking at some crème eye shadow's in shades of mauve & silver, there seemed to be a make-up artist there doing women's make-up for free & I wondered if she could do mine & make me look stunning instead of my plain ordinary self??  Then I was in a busy city, that I'd never been to before I was trying to find a bus stop to catch a bus back to where I'd come from or a tube. I came to a spot I recognised I recalled it was the end point of a set of directions I'd gone down not so long ago (Not sure if in real life or in a dream) 

I surmised if I did the route backwards I'd get back to where I'd started from, so began back tracking but it was night & I came up against a long path with turns with high wooden fences either side & scant light to see in. I realised this was the same path I have had to face many times in dreams, that was fraught with danger, although it looked a tad different, the turns meant that there were points where I couldn't see what laid beyond. Being short sighted I was not at my best should danger lurk, I was deciding whether to press on, or to retreat back? I decided that, as I did not recall this path in the original journey, that I must of taken a wrong turn somewhere along the line & so retreated, re tracing my footsteps, before waking up!


I got up had a wash & dressed the same as yesterday & went to the shops make-up free hair scraped back, I have been doing that a lot lately, that's the slippery slope, I have stopped making the effort & have given up on my self, I have to pull my socks pronto or before I know it I will be a single, 20st, unkempt woman in her 50's, living in a hostel, stinking of pee & cats!! I got the NOTW & a Diet Coke, watched 'Glee' then 'Survival: Tales From the Wild' On an amazing & adorable Tiger family, I LOVE Tigers!! 

 Raja & I

Jennie text & said 'The Mentalist' is repeated on 5Star at 7pm tonight, definitely watching that!! I read the paper, the front paper is about how Ryan Giggs, bunged his Sister-in-law £500 after telling her to  have an abortion, when she became pregnant with his child, just weeks before her wedding to his brother ..... It just gets worse & worse! If his wife stays with him she is a either a mug or her WAG status & money is more important to her than self respect!! I certainly wont have any pity or respect for her!

Stunning Corrie actress Michelle Keegan is engaged to her Munter boyfriend Max George, from pikey looking boy band The Wanted, after just 7 months (crazy) he gave her a £10,000 diamond ring & a long haired Chihuahua called pip. 


Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawn!!! Cheryl Cole, has been slagging off Simon Cowell to pals saying he messed her about (Oh boo hoo poor little princess!!!) Adding 'I'm better off without him, I'll make my own decisions now & not have to be dependant on someone else. I've moved on!' (Oh the arrogance, if it wasn't for him you'd still be in your down market tracksuits, living with mum & your criminal siblings dear!!) Lets just see how big she makes it without him (I'm betting in 5yrs time we will be saying Cheryl who??) She is still snubbing all communications with Simon (so pathetic) 

She is now planning to turn her back on America, saying it was Never her dream to break the States (More like she knows she is no where good enough) That was Simon's dream for me! She now plans to take some time out, while deciding what to do next. Apparently some film studios have expressed an interest (we will see) I have to say I agree with Carol Malone's comments on her page (As I have said much the same) Carol says ' Cheryl Cole says: "I'm not Simon Cowell's puppet" Oh yes she is.She's been manufactured, bought & paid for by him. And if she continues to publicly snub & disrespect him he'll turn on her & she'll never work again!!'  

I wonder if Cher Lloyd is taking notes on how not to behave like her idol, as if Cheryl with all her hype can be fired, maybe she should reign in her own gob, before she goes the same way before she has even experienced the fame & wide spread publicity Cheryl has!! Meanwhile Xfactor judge Louie Walsh has dumped Boyzone & advised them they should split, but Ronan Keating is refusing to believe they are finished!


Made a Tuna & Cucumber Sandwich which I had with Some Mexican Chilli McCain crisps & a Diet Coke, its grey, chilly, rainy & miserable out .... where did Summer go? yet apparently elsewhere in the UK has droughts!!? Last Sunday in London more rain fell than the whole of  March, April & May!! Sorted some more stuff to eBay, then put a while load in the washing machine. Then settled down to watch Midsomer Murders!

Watered the plants & did some laundry & washing up then made some Prawn Tikka Marsala for dinner & had a berry berry Solero for dessert than settled down to watch 'Possibly Maybe' with hottie Ryan Reynolds in. Then did some job searches & online surveys until 1am then went to bed (Calories consumed 1,283)

Evil Barbies, Britains Got Talent, 2011, Critique!!

The Britain's Got Talent's "mainly boring, lack lustre, auditions shows" are finally over & Now the Real show Begins & as usual Motor Mouth here, has opinions that she won't be keeping to herself (As Usual) so here it is Evil Barbies Britain's Got Talent Critique, Enjoy! (Or don't enjoy!..... I don't really care!!)

Semi Finals Day 1 Monday 30th May

The show begins with Amanda Holden in a beautiful light Creamy Beige cap sleeved dress, adorned with Gold applique & large chandelier like Gold earrings, with nice full hair. The Hoff in a Pail Blue shirt & Air-force Blue jacket, Michael McIntyre in a White shirt & Black thin tie & jacket, plus Simon in his usual open White shirt, but with a Light Grey jacket for a change.

Act 1 - Girls Roc - The Girl Troupe came on to one of my favourite Eurythmics songs 'Sweet Dreams' they had a much better set for the semi final & the choreography was better (what I could see of it as the bloody camera's kept sweeping out. Showing the whole set, so they were just dots in the distance on the stage!!) Which is just so FUCKING ANNOYING!! Zoom out as far as the stage area, so you can see the whole stage, fine!! But do Not do, the zoom out sweep of the whole studio, until the act has just finished, just before the judges get to talk!! We didn't tune in, for us to see the top of peoples heads!! 

The cameras did this a lot when Girls Roc were on & I think they could lose votes for it, as we missed a lot of their act due to it, which would be a shame, as they were more instep with each other tonight & I liked the costumes, although the costume for the blonde, with the very big, fake boobs (Who normally stands in centre, of the group of girls) fitted very badly at the chest area & wasn't very flattering to her boobs (Which is surprising, as they'd obviously had them made to measure!!) A Yes from me! but probably not the public!

Act 2 - Donelda Guy - The 1st time round, her two cute Collie dogs, Biba & Mega were amazing, they even did a conga, tonight they, or at least one of them, seemed confused by her signals & did it's own thing, circling the dog congaing with her, instead of joining on the back of the conga line itself, a few times, it seemed. But their little tapping of their front paws, in a march, in time with her, was clever & cute! I think the large, noisy, full, studio may of distracted & confused one of them (Still not sure which??) It's a regretful No from me!

Act 3 - Stuart Arnold - The Entertaininator, how he got through into the Semi's, when there were so many, far better acts that should of  got through, like the singer that was knocked out by Jay Worley (Wrongly I feel) I don't know!! Why part of his act is, to be badly done up as the Terminator, other than his surname being Arnold, I also don't know?? But his Plan B singing impersonation was good, but he is no Royal Variety act!! It's a NO from me!!

Act 4 - Paul Gbegbaje - An Extremely talented, super fast fingered, piano player & did a talented super fast medley. He will get into the top 3, maybe even into the final. But talented as he no doubt is, he is not interesting enough, to hold your attention on a Royal Variety Performance. He is the act that you will go make a coffee/tea while he's on, with the volume turned up on your TV, so you can hear, but not watch him, while you make your drink, or take a loo break!!! I'm Undecided but probably a Yes from the public!


Act 5 - Bruce Sistaz - Two Martial Arts teachers, plus sisters aged 19 & 27yrs, these girls are super talented & in perfect unison with each other, tonight they were even more spectacular, in both performance & costume where they were sexy ninjas, crossed with Brittany's Oops red latex outfit. They had a backing of male martial artists & added props, they were excellent, they would make fab Bond Girl baddies!! I hope they get through, but think somehow they wont, but even if they don't, I'm sure film makers will snap them up!!! It's a Yes from me!


Act 6 - Ted & Grace - I never saw their original audition & I wish I'd not not had to endure this painful & pointless act either!! Singing (If you can call that noise singing)  'Pack Up Your Troubles' What were the judges thinking putting them through? It must of been a pity vote for 92yr deaf Ted, who can't sing, no doubt due to being deaf &is totally out of time with the music, no doubt for the same reason. Then add Grace a 21yr old average singer, looking tonight like a Essex hooker, from the 1980's. A totally & utterly pointless act, which denied decent acts a place, a total farce, this is 'Britains Got Talent' NOT 'Jim Will Fix It'!!! It's a Very Angry NO!! from me!


Act 7 - Joe Oakley - A very talented Stunt Cyclist, his 1st audition was impressive (& I'm not even a fan of stunt cyclists/skateboards etc) But he excelled himself with the set up tonight. Many times, I thought ooh he could really hurt himself, if he makes a slight slip up!! Luckily for all he didn't!!! A possible finalist, It's a Yes from me!


Act 8 - Ronan Parke - A cute 12yr old Bieber haired singer, with a pitch perfect voice, he practically has it in the bag with the cute factor alone, then he sang Adele's, 'To Make You Feel My Love' perfectly, with absolute confidence, on that huge stage. He'd just made sure he's in the final, as every parent & grandparent will be voting for Ronan, which means some other good acts are going to not get through, as there are 4 other good acts on tonight too!!! It's a Yes from me!

After tonight's performances my final 3 would be - Ronan Parke, Girls Roc & Bruce Sistaz, although I'd also want to put through Joe Oakley & Paul Gbegbaje. 

But I don't think it will be that line up!! Because I think that tonight's bad camera shots, will screw over Girls Roc & possibly the Bruce Sistaz chances too!! 

I think the public will put through - Ronan Parke, Joe Oakley & Paul Gbegbaje & The 2 finalists being Ronan Park & Joe Oakley (Due to Joe being more visually entertaining to watch than Paul)

Results Show - final 3 

1 - Ronan Parke  (As Expected the cute factor never fails!!)


2 - Paul Gbegbaje (Expected very talented!!)


3 - Joe Oakley (Also Expected due to skills!!)

So Ronan Parke goes through - again no surprise due to cute factor (Though I do think there should be no kids in Britain's Got Talent, but that they should get a 2nd show Kids Have Got Talent)

So its Paul Gbegbaje V Joe Oakley for the judges to vote through..... Surely its a tough contest, as both are talented in their own fields personally I'd go for Joe. The Judges are split 2 votes each, so it goes to deadlock & now it's down to who gets the most phone votes..... & it's....... Paul Gbegbaje!!

Semi Finals Day 2 Tuesday 31st May

The show begins with Amanda Holden in a beautiful, clingy, Silver Grey, lacy number with Joanna Lumley/ Patsy, French pleated hair. The Hoff in a Black shirt & Grey Jacket, Michael McIntyre in a Burgundy shirt/tie combo & Grey jacket, plus Simon in his usual open White shirt & Black jacket uniform.

Act 1 - Two & A Half Men - A good fun act, their moves & also clothing, tied in well with their 30's music in the background, but is it enough to get through? Another lot of annoying panning out camera shots, yet again!! made the viewer miss a large slice of their act, unlike those in the studio, which could act against them, just like I feel it did for Girls Roc, so I'm not sure, but I like them! It's a Yes from me.


Act 2 - Enchantment  - Nice costumes & face paint, but the act itself was somewhat BORING, especially when he starts off his singing with Ave Maria, which seemed to have no connection whatsoever with what was going on, on stage! It was bitty & had no flow, nor was it interesting!! It was just a few women in Lycra Leopard, Tiger, Lion & Zebra outfits, plus a guy dressed as a Lycra clad Frog, bouncing & doing somersaults, on those running stilts amputees use in the Para Olympics & also some women in fairy like attire, in hoops spinning & dangling, above it all. None of it went together with each-other, nor the opera choices of music that he sung, it was unorganised chaos, I think they definitely wont be going through! It's a No from me!


Act 3 - Herbie Armstrong - I never liked him in the auditions, I just didn't like his singing voice at all & I felt Amanda, David & Co put him through out of pity, because they liked him, NOT because they liked his singing. Tonight he came on looking like a man in need of Prozac & then murdered Barry Manilow's 'Mandy' it was just so bloody awful, totally out of tune & it sounded like he was going to burst into tears & have a break down any minute. Painful to watch. It's a resounding NO from me!


Act 4 - Lorna Bliss - The Britney look-alike originally given 3 NO's was given a reprieve & returned tonight, to perform a medley of 'Slave' & 'Oops I Did It Again' She has a good figure, good costumes, & she looks like Britney. But she should either get singing lessons, or stick to being just a look-alike, as the singing voice was weak, and tonight's performance a bit lame! It's another NO from me!! (I have actually met her & she is as barking as Britney, in her shaving head days!)


Act 5 - New Bounce -  A bunch of 4 kids singing 'Forget About The Money' (I bet their parents aren't, as they rub their hands together ... kerching!!) Not bad, though one kid 'James' sang flat a lot!! Plus the group name sounds like a washing detergent! They Will probably get through though, thanks to cute factor! I'm not blown away by them, I'm undecided, but I think it will be a Yes from the public!


Act 6 - Jean Martyn -  A organ playing, super smiley 'Marjorie Dawes, on Proac' looky likey, with a taste for gaudy sequined jackets!! Nice woman, plays well, but is hardly a Royal Variety standard of entertainment act, even with the semi naked, hot, male background dancers, as added fillers for the large stage!! It's a No from me!


Act 7 - David & Karen - Brilliant magic act, very fast & slick, this time the quick swap over, involved being locked in, a full tank of water, this is the stuff of Royal Variety Performances. Surely they must be the 1st BGT magic act through!!?? A resounding YES from me!

Act 8 - Up & Over It - Table Slappers (No not the type you see hanging round the VIP rope, at China White's) But a kind of pat-a-cake version of River Dance, not surprising I guess, as both have danced in River Dance. Alas on this performance, they also added, a bit of River Dance style dancing to their act, diluting the originality of their table slapping act somewhat & it didn't really flow as well, with this addition. It's another NO from me!

After tonight's performances my final 3 would be - Two And A Half Men, David & Karen, and New Bounce (due to cute appeal) over Jean Martyn a close 4th, The 2 finalists being New Bounce plus David & Karen.

Results Show - final 3 

1 - New Bounce (No surprise!!)


2 - Dave & Karen (No surprise!!)


3 - Jean Martyn (A bit of a surprise!!)

So New Bounce go through - again no surprise due to cute factor (Though I do think there should be no kids in Britain's Got Talent, but that they should get a 2nd show 'Kids Have Got Talent' shown earlier or later in year, getting the same prize, that way Simon gets 2 of his shows acts, in The Royal Variety Performance!!)

So its Jean Martyn V Dave & Karen for the judges to vote through..... surely its No Contest & Dave & Karen will walk it, but NO!!! ALL 4 judges went for Jean Martyn?? I just don't get it? She is a Game Ole Bird, but Dave & Karen are by far Superior!!! I think that was a Piss Poor Decision!

Semi Finals Day 3 Wednesday 1st June

The show begins with Amanda Holden in a beautiful backless, Red dress with big shoulder pads & very 1950's with a twist, pinned hair with platted sides, The Hoff in a White shirt & Royal Blue Jacket, Michael McIntyre in a mono tone Black shirt, tie & jacket, plus Simon in his usual open White shirt & Black jacket uniform, again!

Act 1 - Circus Of Horrors - The Normal COH Feast For The Eyes, of abnormality, from the already established act (I was filmed helping them, saw a man in half in 1996, for a German TV show, when I was one of the reporters for the German Show) They are fantastic, but I doubt they will go through, as so much was going on, on stage, that some viewers, could miss some great bits, especially with BGT's camera crews, fucking annoying habit, of zoom out to long shots, of the stage & audience while the acts are performing (Simon sort it out we tuned in to see the acts perform, NOT the Fucking auditorium & audience!!!!) If you must zoom out, wait until the acts finished, or do it to static acts, like piano players!!! It's a Yes from me, but I feel it will be a No from the viewers!

Act 2 - Jay Worley - This 18yr kid, had to sing off against another guy, for his place in the semi's & I much preferred the other guy, who was a far better singer & had the sexfactor, unlike Jay who to be honest, doesn't even have the cute factor. Tonight he sang The Kings Of Leon's 'Need Somebody' it was nothing special, and quite nasal, the other guy definitely should of got through, this kids just not good enough, or cute enough! It's an Absolute No from me!

Act 3 - Angela & Teddy - Angela a pensioner who reminds me of the Gran from BBC's The Royal Family (Aptly for a Royal Variety Performance I guess) & Teddy a sweet but old, 12yr old Poodle. Bless Teddy, he tries his best for potty Angela, but this act is just dog tired!!!! It's a regretful No from me!


Act 4- ABYSS - Another dance group, with good neon/fluorescent stripped clothes, which looked good under the low lights, fairly good dancing, but nothing special, they are whey behind Diversity's standard & also that of several dance acts, that we have seen since, I think the boys will be sent back into the Abyss!! It's a No from me!


Act 5 - Wachiraporn Nan Tirpak - I have no idea why this act got through to the Semis? It is basically costume changes while miming badly & not even any of those clever fast clothes changes at that! I think she only got through so Michael could call her "Watching Porn" again, on live TV!! I think tonight's act was even worse than her 1st offering, she changed outfits just 3 1/2 times coming on as beauty queen, her dress was ripped off to reveal a bikini, while miming to 'Only Girl In The World' 

Then she goes into one of two huge boxes, done up like a big present, to do a Not So Quick Change (Considering she is only in a bikini & obviously has dressers, helping her inside the huge box) Changing into Gerry Halliwell's, Union Jack dress, then coming out to 'I'll Tell You What I Want' walking across the stage to the next huge box & coming out again as yet another beauty/prom queen to 'Only Girl In The World' Again!!....... Boring!!.... Ting Tong..... Gone Wrong!! It's a NO NO NO!! from me (& any sane person)

Act 6 - Les Gibson - A very likable guy, doing some Very Good impressions of - Alan Sugar, Grant Mitchell, Gordon Ramsey, Louie Walsh, plus Ant & Dec put together in a good format. He's definitely going through to the final, unless the public are barking mad!! It's a Yes from me!


Act 7 - James Hobley - Likable Autistic Kid, who overcame his difficulty's with autism, via the medium of dance, and in doing so excelled in dance. Dancing to Leona Lewis 'Why Does It Hurt Me' a good mix of ballet & expressive dance, I think he stands a good chance of getting through, especially as there is scant competition tonight! It's a Yes from me!

Act 8 - Aeolian Chimes - I'm surprised this scruffy, married couple, Gay & Alan got through to the Semi's, despite their capability's at bell-ringing! They did a good Phantom Of The Opera medley, but unlike the phantom, it sent no chills down my spine, if they get through I will be amazed!! It's a NO from me!

After tonight's performances my final 3 would be - Les Gibson, James Hobley, and Circus Of Horrors or ABYSS, The 2 finalists being Les Gibson & James Hobley.

Results Show - final 3 

1 - Les Gibson (No surprise!!)


2 - James Hobley (No surprise!!)

3 - Aeolian Chimes (Bloody Amazed!!)

So Les Gibson goes through - Not surprisingly as his act was very good!

So its James Hobley V Aeolian Chimes for the judges to vote through..... it really was no contest & of course James Hobley went through.

Semi Finals Day 4 Thursday 2nd June

The show begins with Amanda Holden in a beautiful strapless, Gold figure hugging dress with a big blingy over-sized gold bead, necklace that me likey!! & nice full bobbed hair a bit 50's/60's starlet, The Hoff in a Pail Blue shirt & Black tie & Jacket, Michael McIntyre in a White shirt, skinny Black tie & Grey jacket, plus Simon in his usual open White shirt & Black jacket uniform, yet again!

Act 1 - Dance Angels - A female dance troupe, ranging in ages from 9yrs to 23yrs. They did exactly the same act, as they did for their audition, starting off in black cloaks/body-stockings with dayglow neon leggings & gloves & white masks. Dancing to Techno music, then bursting out into multi coloured samba costumes, to Samba music, with NO New Twists, not wise! The surprise of dark costumes to samba costumes has been seen before, so no longer a surprise! They really should of upped their game for a Semi Final, I feel they have shot themselves in their dance feet & made themselves seem a one trick troupe!! It's a No from me!


Act 2 - Jessica Hobson - I never saw her 1st audition, but tonight I certainly was not impressed with this 19yr olds interpretation of Beyonce's 'Single Ladies' and who on earth trowelled on her make-up, Baby Jane Hudson??? That Black eyeshadow & Red lips was way too harsh for that 19yr old face! If it wasn't Baby Jane Hudson, it must of been that god awful 'supposed' make-up artist  who calls herself 'The Glitter Fairy' on Jerseylicious on E!........."If you like it, then you should of put a ring on it"...... Jessica Hobson.... Ring Free..... Nuff said!!


Act 3 - Mexican Mayhem - Last time One Chihuahua was good & one was bad & the trainer mad! Micheal said one being good &one being bad, is what made the act. Telling her not to train the other one, but Melanie said in her VT, that she chose to ignore him & in which case, after watching her and her two dogs tonight. She'd obviously decided to train BOTH of the little cuties to be bad this time, the only improvement was her outfit!! Sadly it's a NO from me!


Act 4 - Out Of The Blue - A Oxford University Male Vocal Group. Think of a Public School Glee Club, they made good work of 'Jump For My Love' & 'What a feeling' but I can't help but think, they'd of done better, going on the show pre Glee, but even so, they may be in the final 3. It's a Yes from me!


Act 5 - Nathan Wyburn - Stage Artist, last time he made a Michael McIntyre portrait out of Toast & Marmite, This time he attempted to do 3 portraits, to the Theme Tune of 'Mission Impossible' (All 3 to be finished by the Derrr Dahhhh end of the theme tune!) One by tea lights (Marilyn Monroe) one by fire (Michael Jackson) & One by Glitter (Elvis) Really NOT impressive at all. 

He had obviously already done 95% of the glitter for the Elvis portrait already, then piled on loads of glitter on top, to hide the image (Until it was lifted aloft & the glitter dropped to the floor) This was born out, when he only worked with glue in one corner, which was no doubt, already lightly marked out as to where to put the glitter, but would not be seen at a distance, and out of the 3 portraits, this was his best (if not brilliant) likeness. 

His tea light image, on a board covered in tea lights, some red, some yellow, were also obviously on a pre-lightly drawn out board, so he just had to move them about on the area, onto the correct marked out areas, like a painting by numbers! But of course doing it in a manic fashion, that makes it look like he is creating it out of his head, against the clock of the theme tune. Yet this still looked like any generic pop-art, blonde, with red lip-stick on & absolutely nothing like Marilyn Monroe. 

The Micheal Jackson that was to be made by fire, this was obviously on a fire proof white fabric canvas, that had, had a line drawing of MJ on, that had, had a white chord, that had been soaked in a flammable liquid & left to dry, sewn over the lines of the drawing. Again the white cord on white cloth, not showing up to the audience from a distance. The chord then being lit & the flame traveling, of course would tie in to the opening scenes of the 'Mission Impossible' TV show. As the theme played, unfortunately for Nathan the flames went out!! At best it formed an outline not unlike Myra Hindley & NOT at all like Micheal Jackson, which if you look at it, was quite ironic!! It's a uninspired No from me!


Act 6 - Jai McDowall - Singer, A lovely, unassuming, caring, guy who works as a carer. He has a very good voice, although I wish he'd shave his beard off, he'd look much better looking without it!! He looks a lot like a young Marty Pellow when he smiles. Tonight's song was a great song choice of Evanescence's 'Bring Me To Life' He sang his heart out & I will be amazed It's a Yes from me!


Act 7 - Steven Hall - The dancing 53yr old (who looks much older!! can't believe he's younger than my sister!!) Steven Hall, looks like a cross between Roy Hattersley & John Major, dancing while on acid. Who admits his zany comedic dancing, was copied inspired by a hit YouTube viral video. Tonight he did some different dances (Having not seen the YouTube video, that his 1st act was copied from, I'm unaware if tonight's routine was also on the YouTube video or not!!) I'd put him in 4th place, but he may sneak into the top 3 due to old biddys at home, without access to YouTube finding him a bit of a wheeze, mistaking him for a sprightly fellow pensioner!! It's at best a Maybe from me!


Act 8 - Edward Reid - Last time Edward sang nursery rhymes to a popular hit, this time he described children's TV characters, to the tune of 'The Greatest Love Of All' very funny & very original & talented to make it fit with song & he sung with a very good singing voice. I am Very Keen on this Camp Act, well that's no surprise really, with me being a Fag Hag!! No confirmation as of yet, of him being related to cross-dresser Alex Reid!! He could get through only Out Of The Blue could oust him, as I'm certain Jai is definitely through!! It's an absolute YES from me!


After tonight's performances my final 3 would be - Jai McDowall, Out Of The Blue, and Edward Reid, just pushing Steven Hall to 4th place. The 2 finalists being Jai McDowall & Edward Reid (HOPEFULLY!!)

Results Show - final 3 

1 - Jai McDowell  (No surprise, exactly what I said!!)

2 - Edward Reid  (No surprise!!)


3 - Steven Hall (I would of said 4th place but was a possibility!!)


So Jai McDowell go through - Not surprising, at all, as his act was excellent!

So its Edward Reid V Steven Hall for the judges to vote through..... The Hoff rightly voted for Edward, Michael & Amanda for Steven, I feel it really was down to the pro Steven studio audience, that in turn influenced Simon, voting for Steven, over Edward. With their chants of "Steven, Steven, Steven" with Simon saying, he was going to vote with, what he thought, the public wanted. 

When it seemed he personally would prefer Edward, so he voted for Steven. Steven was what the studio audience wanted, but was it what the public wanted?? He should of taken it to deadlock & let the phone votes show what the public, as a whole, wanted, it may or may not of been Steven!!

Semi Finals Day 5 Friday 3rd June 

The show begins with Amanda Holden in a  absolutely beautiful long, fishtail looking, Black backless dress with  a squarish sweetheart neckline, with gorgeous sheer & black cap sleeves giving a bandaged shrug effect & with bouffant hair pinned behind the ears, that wore Black filigree earrings. The Hoff in a Grayish Blue shirt & sheeny Grey jacket & tie. With Michael McIntyre in a Navy shirt & tie with his Dark Grey jacket, plus Simon in his usual open White shirt & Black jacket uniform, Yes Again!!!

Act 1 - Marawa - She flew in, wearing sexy latex, blue-mix, tiger print, leggings & bra top with a big Afro, pulling comedic, but cute, Betty Boo type faces, doing numerous hula-hoop tricks, some even involving fire, and multiple hula-hoops, excellent! I've seen her before as part of a Burlesque troupe, called Kitty Bang Bang Bang! It's a Yes from me!

Act 2 - Pip & Puppy - Pippa looked pretty & had a lovely white appliqued strapless dress on, Buddy her very cute dog looked adorable in his little Tuxedo, Pippa sang well with her operatic voice & gorgeous little Buddy joined in immediately almost drowning her out & the platform she stood on, raised to create a almost never ending dress, lucky that she had a firm grip on Buddy. An endearing act, Buddy is adorable, but is it Royal Variety Show Calibre?? I think not! With regret it's a No from me!


Act 3 - Celtic Colleens - They dance in darkness, in black with just florescent blue legs & hands showing doing a kind of River Dance, with the effect that there are amputated lower torso's dancing & at the end the neon hands come together, to spell Celtic Colleens, very good & very clever & would fit in well with a Royal Variety Show, but it's not for me. It's a No from me!

Act 4 - Mr & Mrs - I never saw their original audition act, that got them through. But soon as they started off, I knew I'd not missed anything, out of time, out of tune, out of fashion, singing 'Teenage Dream' The black wife's red dress was OK though a bit wedding guest, come power meeting speaker & her white hubby looked like he had just got in from from work knackered & took off his tie and undid his shirt to chill out!! Like a bad Karaoke Simon was right to Buzz them, dire!!! It's a resounding NO!! from me!


Act 5 - Follow The Right Path - Two teen male rappers, 13 & 14yrs old, trying to rap about doing the right thing, rather than guns & violence. But alas they did the same rap about their Grandad, which makes them look a one rap pony!!! Sorry boys I appreciate what are trying to do, BUT it's a NO from me!!


Act 6 - Antonio Popeye - The Bulging eyed, fatso, came on in a purple satin shirt, surrounded by show girls with big white feathered fans, to EYE Of The Tiger (How much Cornea could he get??) He sort of moved his eyes to the music, but you'd not of seen without the camera zooming in, which is no use for a Royal Performance where the audience is sat well back from the stage (What were the judges thinking??) 

Then for some reason, the music changed to Billy Idols White Wedding, with lookalikes of Prince William & Kate on a pedestal, then it changed to Jedwards Eurovision Entry with either lookalikes of Jedward, on another pedestal with Antonio wandering around between them! WTF??? It's a bulgy eye act not a look at the lookalikes act!!.... I think his only fans will be the ones he was surrounded by at the top of his excuse for an act!! Rightly he soon had 4 Buzzers!! Antonio it's also a NO!! from me!!


Act 7 - Michael Moral - The Better Looking of the two amazing dancers on tonight's show, the one injecting some sex appeal into his act, my only concern is the fact he is French & has been flown back from France & can hardly speak English, makes me confused how he is British? As the show is called 'Britain's Got Talent' NOT 'Europe's Got Talent!!' But his act was excellent his body is so fluid (Compared to Razy's body movements which are so animated yet rigid!!) 

He certainly has sex appeal, in spite of the fact, his body looks contorted in many of his moves. Again his act was plagued with the cameras Zooming out to a studio shot just it looked like he was about to do an amazing move, which they did right at the end, which was infuriating, even more so when Simon, Micheal & The Hoff all spoke of his weird finish, which thanks to the morons in the studio gallery none of us watching at home saw it, as they got the cameras to zoom out just before he did it!!! Sometimes I feel someone in the gallery has a hidden agenda, to scupper acts they don't want in, by moving the cameras away from the artist, just when they are doing something that could clinch it, on Stage. Well without seeing the odd ending it's a Yes from me!!

Act 8 - Michael Collings - I never got the hype over this chubby gypo boy, I never found anything outstanding in his audition, and tonight though it was nice to see him out of his orange fleece & into his jeans & checked shirt, he sang 'You Do Something To Me' but despite the judges raving over his performance tonight. Sorry Michael you still did nothing for, or to me, it's a No from me!!


Act 9 - Razy Gogonea - An amazingly talented dancer, but still with the same set of Matrix inspired moves, but this time with a much bigger production!! Which fortunately stopped the same Matrix moves becoming stale, and made his jerky moves look even more animated!! That said I would of liked him to have pulled out a few unseen before moves, by him, out of the hat!!! But it's still a Yes from me!!

After tonight's performances my final 3 would be - Razy Gogonea, Marawa & Michael Moral, Though I think the public might put through Micheal Collings, Razy Gogonea & the Celtic Colleens, or Follow The Right Path (to be politically correct!!)
 

Results Show - final 3 

1 -  Micheal Collings (Expected but just don't get his appeal!!)


2 -  Razy (As Expected!!)

3 -  Pip & Puppy (A amusing surprise, Buddy's cuteness helped!!)

So Razy Gogonea got through - Not surprising as his dancing was excellent!

So it's Michael Collings V Pip & Puppy for the judges to vote through..... Simon I know wanted to put Pip & Puppy through, as he LOVES singing dog acts (No not Sinita!!!) and dog acts in general, but yet he caved in for the 2nd day in a row, and went with the baying audience chanting Michael & chose to save Micheal, as did the rest of the judges. So Micheal is through (I still don't get it!!) & joins Razy & the others in tomorrows final!!........   

Britain's Got Talent's Final, Saturday 4th June

The show begins with Amanda Holden in a very beautiful Ivory  sleeveless, V-neck dress, with 80's padded shoulders, with a black diamante sprinkled, triangular adornment, along the right hand side of V-neckline, which goes over the shoulder & wraps round to her waist, on the left & long dangly earrings, with nice shorter full hair. The Hoff in a White shirt & Black jacket, Michael McIntyre in a White shirt & Black thin tie & jacket, plus Simon in his usual open White shirt, with a Black jacket for a change......... NOT!!

Act 1 - Steven Hall - I think seeing that we all now know Steven Hall stole his original act from a YouTube viral. The most shocking part of his act is that he is only 52!!! In the same old office Telecommunications garb, of white shirt, grey trousers & tie he trotted out the same old routine. I notice he hasn't done the fun quick costume changes of his 1st routine since (Wonder if it's copyrighted by the original person, who's YouTube act, Steven Plagiarised??) Lacking originality, unlike Edward Reid, who he pipped to the post in the semi's. It's a NO from me!!!


Act 2 - Micheal Collings - The singer that does nothing for me teamed the check shirt look of yesterday (with similar one a bit of red in it today) with Navy jeans & Navy Jacket, to sing 'Fast Car' AGAIN. But he still leaves me cold, I am just NOT getting what it seems the judges are feeling about him. It's a NO from me!! 


Act 3 - Les Gibson - A Celeb Master Chef  routine, with Simon Cowell, Louie Walsh, Dermot O'leary, The Hoff, Micheal McIntyre woven in, but not as good as prior routines, it was good, but I feel not good enough, but he will do well from this. Tonight sadly it's a No from me!!


Act 4 - James Hobley - Another perfectly performed mix of expressive dance & ballet, to Coldplay's 'Fix You' very talented worth a top 3. It's a Yes from me!!

Act 5 - Paul Gbegbaje - Brilliant fast playing, an obvious talent, not a piece of music I knew, but then I discovered it was his own piece, very good, but again he's the Royal Variety Act I'd make the coffee to, or take a loo break to with the TV volume turned up. It's an, your excellent, plus talented, but it's a No from me!!

Act 6 - Ronan Parke - The Bieber looking cutie sang 'Because Of You' A somewhat shaky nervous start, but he pulled it back! Cute factor will help, I don't think he is the best act, but he is damn good. It's a Yes from me.


Act 7 - Jean Martyn - Yet another dated gaudy sequined jacket, yet another dated medley, a game old bird, but dated. It's a No from me!!!


Act 8 - Jai McDowell - Not a song I know, but sang with real passion, I think he may of lost himself quite a few votes, by singing a song that many (like me) wont know!! But for likability & Passion alone, it's a Yes from me!


Act 9 - Razy Gogonea - Same dance moves ,in a different order, Matrix music swapped for different music, dressed all in White, instead of, all in Black, Fire Poi thrown in at end for an attempt to look different, but is more suited to Girls Roc, or Circus Of Horrors act, than to what is billed as a dance act. Sorry Razy that's lost you points. It's a NO from me!

Act 10 - New Bounce -  Cute Kid with Afro is the young MJ of the group, sang 'Ain't No Sunshine' well, not blown away, but they will do well, the kid who was flat before upped his game. It's a unexcited Yes from me. 


After tonight's performances my top 3 would be - Ronan Parke, James Hobley & Jai McDowall, My top 2 Ronan & Jai McDowall. Jai to win!



But I think the top 3 the public will vote for is - Ronan Parke, Jai McDowall & New Bounce, The top 2 being Ronan Park & New Bounce, Ronan to win! Tho I think out of that 3 it should be Jai & Ronan in top 2 & Jai to win!

Final Results Show - Top 3

After tonight's rather lack lustre final, where I was disappointed that the acts didn't pull more out of the bag to win! I don't really give a toss one way or the other who wins (As long as it isn't Steve or Jean) It would of been much improved with Edward Reid in the final instead of Steven Hall, he would of brought true originality & I'd love to see what he would of pulled out the bag tonight!!! But Alas it was not to be, Edward was Robbed!!

1st the runners up in reverse order from 10 - 4

10 - Jean Martyn - No Surprise

9 - Les Gibson - His judges gamble didn't pay off

8 - James Hobley - Shame, but not a huge surprise


7- Steve Hall - Knew he'd not make the top three


6 - Paul Gbegbaje - Not a surprised, talented, but not a visual feast

5 - Michael Collings - Obviously the public felt like me re Micheal


4 - Razy Gogonea - Changing just outfit & music is not enough!

Now the top 3


OMG the top 3, Are the top 3, I said the public would put through!!

1- New Bounce - OMG out of the public's choice I said 3rd

2 - Ronan Park - SHIT I said I'd put 2nd out of pulic top 3 choice

3 - Jai McDowell - Damn I should of placed bet, I got top 3 & in the exact order!!

And The Winner Is - Jai McDowell