Wednesday, 27 July 2011

Funerals, Gangsters, Comedians, Bars & Hospitals!!

Monday 11th July (Aunty Babs Funeral) I got up at 6am when my alarm went off, to a bright sunny day for a change, which made me feel it was shining for Aunty Babs, the way it did for Mums Funeral. I'd like to think of them both together looking down on us, having a giggle like they did on the phone to each other all the time. I'm in pain but not as bad as usual, thanks to the weather, it was eased a bit when I had a bath & washed my hair. My Aunt wanted no flowers & us to wear bright clothing, so I decided to wear my brightest orange tunic (Well actually a mini dress, but now I have regained 2.5st, I wouldn't inflict that eyesore on anyone!!) I wore that over navy leggings with zips at ankles, & my silver gladiator style thong sandals, as my feet are still sore from the restaurant shoot of 'St Georges Day' I dried my hair & didn't put in a hair piece as my neck was so painful, it wouldn't of been able to support the added weight on my head without causing more pain!!

I had porridge with some Goji berry's & a coffee for breakfast, and packed up the last of Bill & his family's Xmas presents in a bag, as I am assuming Bill will be coming to Aunty Babs funeral (Though I haven't heard one way or the other) So I can give him them all, as it will take some time until I'm able to afford to send them, as they are heavy & bulky & postage will be pricey (Unlike with eBay where they pay postage up front) No doubt there will be some sarcastic comments when they are handed over. At least I know now not to assume he will be down at Xmas time to put a wreath on mums grave. So in future it will be gift vouchers, or something small & easy to send through the post!! I put on my Dolce & Gabbana sunglasses & popped into the shop to get a Sun paper & a Diet Coke, then headed off down Hollywell Hill to the Abbey Train Station.

St Albans, Abbey Station

I got to St Albans Station at 9am, 20mins early for my train, I settled down, then I saw that the sign said the 1st train to Watford was the 10.10am!!! WTF!!!!!..... no No NO!! A announcement over the tannoy of the unmanned station, said a train had broken down & they were working as fast as they could to sort things, I texted Julie to tell her of the situation & said I had no timetable for trains to Leighton Buzzard or Milton Keynes, so don't know which I'll be able to catch, nor which station would be best for her to meet me at? I heard nothing back for a bit, so worried that she may not have noticed her text, I tried Erdal. 

But it kept being refused I thought "Shit no credit!!" So did a top up with my debit card & called Julie, she said she was on laptop checking trains & would call me back. She got back to me with the train I could catch, when the 10.10am got to Watford, I hoped they'd fix the train quicker, so I'd be there earlier, hopefully it's not too bad! I mean its only a shuttle train that goes backwards & forwards, on the one bit of track!!

St Albans Abbey Shuttle Train 

I sat & read the paper, while I waited for the train, The front page is about the Beckham's new daughter with the stupid name Harper Seven, (Sounds like Half Past Seven) & also that the last copy of News Of The World sold more than Four Million copies, with some shops sold out by 8am so that's Four Million people who are not as outraged at the phone hacking, as the media that are trying to hype it up to the max! More Importantly it is believed the economy has shrunk in the past 3 months!

Prince William & Kate are wowing L.A on their visit Kate looked Elegant at a charity event, in a long, lilac/white (looked lilac in some pics white in others) Alexander McQueen dress. Meanwhile MP's are still getting free 1st class rail travel at the taxpayers expense, raking up a fares bill of £400,000 from 2010 until now. If the taxpayers have to shell out for MP's rail travel it should be standard only rail travel & if the MP's want to upgrade to 1st class they should pay the extra out of their own pocket.... Simple!! 237 MP's over 1/3rd have put first class rail tickets on expenses.

Prince William & Kate In L.A

Rapper Dizzee Rascal was kicked off a British airways flight at Heathrow for abusing the stewardess, with a torrade of foul mouthed insults, in business class over delays due to a technical hitch (Arsehole) it's annoying but not their fault surely he'd rather have a safe flight!? He was marched off the plane & the plane took off 3hrs late & he missed his Portugal gig. He may now also face a BA life ban (Maybe that will teach him some manners & lose him some cool points!)

Shrien & Anni 

More on that very suss Honeymoon murder of the lovely Anni, her groom (Suspected in involvement in the murder) Shrien  Dewani, did not have sex with his bride before marriage OR on their wedding night, his family just assumed he was being a good Hindu. He told Anni they must not have sex until after the lavish ceremony in Mumbai India, Anni cried herself to sleep alone on the sofa their wedding day after a big row, just days before her murder she sent texts to people describing Shrien as a monster & mentioning divorce, SA cops are convinced Shrien led a gay double life, ordering a hitman when she threatened divorce!! Cops are investigating after a 2nd gay lover came forward & rumours that he regularly visited gay clubs!

You Vil Fuken Zee Doll Yavoll!!

New that Adolf Hitler ordered blonde haired, blue eyed, blow up dolls for his Nazi troops in 1940 because so many caught STD's from hookers in Paris during WWII, the prototypes were tested by Nazi's posted in Jersey, Himmler was so impressed he ordered 50 for his own troops but the 'Borghild Project' was axed 2yrs later, when soldiers refused to carry the dolls that were small enough to fit in rucksacks, due to the embarrassment of them being found if captured by the British!!

The NEW Dallas Lineup 

Dallas is being remade with the original Sue Ellen, Bobby & the delightfully bad, JR Ewing with a bunch of new hotties in toe like Jessie Metcalfe. Cant wait!! I looked up at the train board to see the time & then the board changed again saying about getting replacement buses WHAT!!!!! We (me & other people waiting) pressed the information button, an Indian chap who might as well been in India for what useless info he gave, it was now 10am and we wanted to know if the 10.10am train was coming or not? All he said was the 9.20am train was cancelled due to the train breaking down, but there was nothing saying the 10.10am was cancelled, we said was it definitely coming then? 

Because we told him the board was saying about replacement buses & the tannoy was saying sorry for delays & they were trying to resume normal service as soon as possible!!.... he just repeated "The 9.20am was cancelled & replacement buses & taxis to Watford were laid on, but the 10.10am is not down as cancelled!" I said "I have been here since 9am & there have been no replacement buses or taxis in the past hour!!" He then said to ask a member of staff at the station, frustrated we said "This is an non staffed station, that's why the information point  button is here!!" One of the guys asked for his name (As he was giving no useful information, not that he said that to him!) & he immediately put the phone down & when we pressed the button again it kept ringing with nobody answering!!

We were now Pissed Off as it was 10.10am & no sign of a train & a bus takes about a hour to get to Watford & I could of done that at 9am!! Another girl phoned the train company & they said replacement taxi's were coming, but they didn't know when & the problem was a member of staff hadn't turned up for work (So the broken down train was lies then, typical British Rail Bullshit!!!) Why could they not work with one less staff member? Was it due to health & safety? Or was it the driver who'd not turned up? Surely it could of gone without the ticket collector? 

Also why do they not have a few standby staff at Watford, in case of such an emergency? If it was the driver surely another driver could do, it's not as if he needs to know a route, it's just a straight shuttle backwards & forwards Grrrrr!! I text Julie my predicament, I can't believe my bad luck with post & travel (In fact my bad luck in general!) She said to keep her posted. Just as we were about to put down the phone a people carrier taxi finally turned up, I checked it was sent by the train company & then I & 5 others got in & set off for the station. 

Watford Junction Station

We got to Watford station, but then there was a huge wait to buy tickets, with only two windows open & as I had a reduced fair card I couldn't use the ticket machines. Annoyingly most people were not traveling just renewing monthly/yearly travel cards or wanting information (They should have a separate window for that like the passport/foreign money window in the post office!!) Meaning I missed the original connecting train I could of caught (If my train had not been canceled) by under a minute Grrrrrr!! So I had to wait for the other one, that Julie said I could of got if the 10.10am train had come!!

I caught the train to Leighton Buzzard & Julie & Erdal pulled up just as I got outside (At least that was one bit of good timing) We got to the Milton Keynes Crownhill Crematorium in good time & Brother Bill, Wife Karen & two of his children Jessica & Alex were there. Alex has really grown. I handed over the large bag of remaining Christmas presents for Bill to put in his car. I thought it was all going to be quite civil. 

But then Julie piped up with some sarcastic comment about it only being July & was that last years or this years presents? I thought "Why don't you butt out this is nothing to do with you!!" Obviously they have been talking amongst themselves, about me not being able to afford, to post everything by now! I'd like to see them survive on what little I have & still manage to buy gifts, let alone post them!! We Caught up with Aunty Babs, Daughters, Son & Granddaughter Vicky. We chatted to them for a bit before the ceremony. Uncle Fred was there, & was going to say some words about his sister Aunty Babs which kind of upset me a bit, as he never even turned up for mum, his youngest sister.

He is the last one standing & in his 90's, I'm not sure he realised who Julie, Bill & I were, as its been 20+ years since he's seen us. The ceremony started & it was a warm, funny one. All about Aunty Babs life. The woman conducting it was very nice & you felt she knew & really liked my aunt. My uncle Fred, my cousin Debbie (One of her daughters ) & Vicky stood up and gave a talk in her honour. Julie & I had a bit of a cry as the coffin slowly went behind the curtain. I was crying partly due to losing my favourite Aunt, the closest person to Mum, plus the thought of her being burnt, really upset me. 

Especially when I recall tales told to me years ago by a relative who worked at a crematorium, who said as the body burns the skin tightens & makes the body move about, sit up, wave its arms & legs about etc, so they have to be pushed back down with a rod. I never forgot that, it makes me cringe!

We then walked through the garden of remembrance to the cars & on to her reception at The Parkside Hotel, at Woughton On The Green, where there were sandwiches, muffin/cake selections & orange juice & coffee laid on. Most of Karen's time was taken up with Alex. Because if he wasn't stuffing his face with food he was crying, if not kept entertained probably due to being tired!! But boy can that littleun pack the food away!! The Tea was nice & I had 2 tuna/salmon/ cheese sandwiches (8 sandwich triangles, two trips of 4 triangles, no doubt if I made one trip with 8 I'd of had more weight digs) and 2 cakes, a mini scone with jam & cream plus a small mini brownie cup cake. As I was famished as it was 2.30pm & I'd not eaten since 6am. I washed them down with a couple of vodka slimline's.

I tried to make some conversation with Bill, about how things have been, since he set up his own financial advice business, this year? He said it was going well, but he ONLY made 50K this month (Lol ONLY 50K This Month!! Most people don't even make half that in a year, let alone a month) But good for him, for making it a success. I said well done. 

But no matter what conversation I had at the table, it was constantly turned around to digs or jokes about my weight. While also commenting on how Julie was looking slimmer (She is back on Slimfast, I think?) What is it with my siblings that no matter the reason for the get together, they have to dig at me? Poking fun at me for my weight gain at Aunty Babs funeral, wasn't exactly the ideal time, if there is such a time. Even when heartbroken at Mums funeral they had to have a dig. 

Julie said of my Monologue to mum (posted on one of my blogs pages in right hand column) "That went on a bit didn't it!" (Went on!!?  I could of spoke for 3hrs on mum & still not of done her justice!!) & my brother said "Good speech June, I didn't realise you knew so many LONG words!" They even poked fun at me for showing my respect by wearing a hat, saying "What's with the hat? having another bad hair day?"

At Mums Funeral In My Hat, With Brother Bill & Katy

In the end, at mums funeral, I gave up going over to them, to speak to them (Only Erdal, Mums Neighbour Mary & Aunty Babs came over to Candy, Nicky, Nat & I) In the end just stuck with my friends as my family, unlike my friends, gave me ridicule & no comfort on a day my heart was shattered. Not one of them put an arm around me as I stood alone at our mums grave. Bill got hugged by his wife & kids & Julie from her husband & son. I stood all alone, not one of my family came over & hugged me. 

I had no comfort from anyone on one of the worse days of my life, until my friend Nicky pushed through the group, from the back (Where my 3 friends stood, out of respect for the family) to hug me, they were all horrified that not one single family member, had come to give me comfort, as I stood silently weeping! So this funeral I could of done with a family meet up without criticism for once. But no, the present comments, came from Julie (It wasn't even anything to do with her) & the weight comments from both Bill & Julie had to come, I thought Julie who battles with her own weight would of been more sensitive!!

Like I'm not self-conscious enough, that I have gained 2.5st of the 3st I'd lost, after losing the weight gained after being laid up ill!! Funny when I was under 9st 5lb & a Size 8 the only 2 comments I got was Julie saying "You can see you've lost weight" & Karen saying "Your legs look even thinner than mine June"  Plus my friends often saying I was too thin. That was it, no complements from my Brother, family etc, except from my Mum. Yet as soon as I regained weight due to depression (plus weight gain due to the effect of the antidepressants) & being in too much pain to go to the gym like I did before, it seems to still be open season to ridicule & take the piss out of me, about my weight/size! 

Anyone would think I'm a Size 20 not a UK 12-14, & my body cant break down food & flush the fats & toxins away like it did before as I have had my gallbladder removed & so now I can't produce bile to break down food & flush it through my system, the way I done before. Like my life isn't, painful, lonely, stressed & depressing enough already, without having digs at me, whenever I see my family (Which isn't that often anyway!) The only proper decent conversation I had, was while sat with my brother-in-law Erdal. Talking about the nightmare trying to get another job in retail, that didn't close down shortly after starting & the irony that I am getting more response from acting, than I am for regular jobs applied for. Plus talking to Jessica about her acting & plans for the future & the bands she was going to see, at festivals.

 Vegas Lap Dancer
 Vegas Strip
Vegas Baby!

Bill was saying a super hot lap dancer in Vegas was all over him (When out there, on a Stag Do) wanting him to go back to hers for some extras, saying she could be his American Girlfriend (Obviously clocking, that he is not short of a few ££$$) His mates out there thought he was nuts for turning her down, as Karen would never know (Nice Friends) But he did say no! Mind you, he said that he did, in a way that felt that, he was expecting a pat on the back, or prize for not giving in! When only a low life cheating scumbag would of said yes! They had to go as a tiered Alex needed his sleep.

I thought they might of visited Mums Grave while here, as they didn't last Christmas, but as no offer came re a lift back to St Albans, I guess not!! Unless they went before coming to Milton Keynes?? But I doubt it some how it would of been cutting it fine for Aunty Babs funeral. I stayed there a bit longer with Erdal & Julie, speaking with some family members, that I haven't seen for 20-35yrs (Where has that time gone? It flew by!) Julie & Erdal dropped me off at Leighton Buzzard station at around 4.45 - 5pm. My commuting luck continued, as my train to Watford had been cancelled (Deep Joy!!) So I had a 45min wait until the next one! So I read the Newspaper.

Leighton buzzard Train Station 

Once I got to Watford I went to platform 11 to get the train to St Albans Abby Station (If it was running now!) It was now running but I had just missed one so I had a 45-60min wait, I couldn't be arsed with that & then the long walk up hill home on top of it. So I went outside & got a bus after a 15-20min wait to the top of London road & walked home getting in at 6.35pm just catching 'Home & Away' Then I made a boiled egg salad with humous & 3 rice cakes spread with Quark, plus some Shapers herb & tomato, snacks on the side, washed down with a Shapers 3cal Cream Soda. I watched the soaps, reclined on my bed, as I felt really tired from an emotional day, plus I was beginning to ache, in my neck arm & shoulder area! I watched 'The Hotel Inspector' then had to force myself to stay awake for 'Strictly Kosher' on ITV +1 & 'Dirty Sexy Things' on E4 +1 (Can't believe how unprofessional some of the models are) Then crashed out in bed shattered as I have another busy day tomorrow (Calories consumed 1,748)

Dirty Sexy Things!

Tuesday 12th July (Filming SGD) Woke at 8am & had porridge & Goji berry's for breakfast & a decaf coffee, I had a bath & washed my hair. Then I checked my emails I had a message in my inbox from 'Guys & Dolls' casting agents, with an invite to come register on there books on either the 31st of July or the 21st of August. So I quickly called up & reserved which day I wanted, as not to miss out. Then I did my make-up & hair, they want evening wear for a club but preferably pastel colours (to stand out in the dark) So I wore my white halterneck dress (Copy of Marilyn's 7yr itch dress) As I'm too big to fit in my lovely size 8-10 dresses at the moment! 

Then I put on my half wig (To look different from when I had my hair in a chignon in the restaurant) & big Turquoise & Gold ethnic style earrings. I remembered to pack my silver heels in my bag & wear my silver flat thong, gladiator style sandals. I also packed my silver cardie in case it got chilly later. I also  put in a bottle of Shapers Cream Soda & a couple of pack's of Shapers crisps, to keep me going if hungry when filming. I popped to the shop for a paper & then set off for the station at 12noon, with my leopard spot trench coat over my dress.

St Albans City Station

I got my train ticket & caught the 12.45pm Brighton train to London Bridge & settled down to read the paper the front page was how Victoria Beckham has told David after 4 kids that's it! Yet on a small snippet of the front page was the much bigger news that a secret book of phone numbers for The Queen & her family was offered for sale by bent Royal Cops! It is said NOTW paid £1,000 which was then used by phone hackers. Wonder who else these cops would of sold it too for the right price? That could be a serious security breach knowing where certain Royals would be at certain times etc or used to lure them somewhere under false pretenses, in the good old days those cops would of been executed for treason!!

The taxi driver involved in the SA Honeymoon killing has been accused of plotting his wife's death by text, as she was sat next to him looking at honeymoon photos. Surely somehow that can be checked by phone companies?

50 children watching an entertainer drowned while trapped in a cabin on the over crowded Russian river cruiser 'Bulgaria'  that sank killing 128, the 56yr boat listed (tilted) to one side, capsized & went down in just 2mins. A mother who tried in vain to save her child through a broken window, called it a floating coffin with many emergency exits locked or in some cases even welded shut (No health & safety in Russia then!) There were only 80 survivours!!

Cruel Mother Kelly Langham 

A vile mum drugged up on amphetamines left her 5 & 8yr girls locked in her car with the temp inside soaring to 104F  while outside it was 70F, the poor gasping mites, had to frantically beep the horn for help (bright kids) which alerted passers by. Their mum Kelly Langham 26 dashed back to motor just as the police arrived (no doubt tannoy's rang out asking for the driver of her car registration to go to her car! She had been in a queue in cash converters for 45mins. She plead guilty at a hearing yesterday to willful neglect & may face jail (good!) The 5yr old daughter was distressed & crying they are both now being looked after by a relative!

Once at London Bridge I changed from platform 5 to platform 4 & caught the train to Dartford Kent, and sat next to the window on the left hand side of the carriage. There was someone making sex noises on the train, like they were having a multiple orgasm (Think Harry Met Sally... but going on for much longer) I looked around but could see nobody doing it, but was also surprised that everyone else were sat, looking oblivious to it! Eventually a guy got up & got off the train, on the other side of the carriage, exactly to the right side of me, in an isle seat, when the train stopped at his station. 

Then I saw it was a black woman sat at the right window seat across from me, making the sex noises as she looked out the window, she was travelling alone so obviously not retarded (I think she probably was autistic & was unaware of making the noises) or maybe it's a form of tourettes? I guess everyone else had been on train longer than me, so no longer wondered what the noises were!! I got off at Dartford & having some time to spare I found a ATM & took out some cash & got some battery's for my camera in Savers. Then I found the stop for the quick bus service to Dartford FC & I found my way to the car park where the production vans & trailers were. I found Mary & got signed in, then I was checked over by wardrobe & given the thumbs up.

Dartford FC

I then went to the catering van & had a veggie patty in a bun & had with one of my packets Shapers crisps & cream soda for lunch & was soon spotted by film maker Owen, and we had a good old natter about upcoming projects & he was getting me to do Comedian Katherine Tate impersonations, of characters Lauren & Gran, as he thinks I'm just like her. Chatted to driver Nigel who gave me & Jamie a lift to London Bridge at the end of the last shift. I was only going to film until 10.30pm as the last train to St Albans via London Bridge from Dartford was at 11pm the next at 4.50am & we wrap at 3am & I wasn't willing to hang round Dartford station for two hrs, but Mary said she could give me a lift to Kings Cross if that was any help? So I agreed to stay until 3am, got chatting to a cute, cheeky 18yr black lad Josh (who reminded me a bit of a younger Jamie) and a cheeky, blonde, Jack the lad, called Perry, who reminds me a lot of Plan B (Ben Drew) not just to look at, but his expressions & the way he moves!

With Perry

I had a few coffees & an orange juice as we chatted about other jobs we'd done/are doing, when Jamie turned up as cheeky as ever & joined in with the group. Shortly after we boarded the mini buses to o to our nightclub location in the town center, which oddly was next door to the ATM I went to, before getting my batteries from Savers.  We were in the garden area of the club for a while & I was chatting with several of the gangster members from the film, Craig Fairbrass wasn't acting today but Frank Harper who is also directing was along with a host of others including Sean Pertwee (The actor son of late actor John Pertwee) 

With Sean Pertwee

I clowned a round a bit with Owen Smith & a few others then went in to do my scene with Perry, Josh & Jamie behind me & me flirting with a guy called Dan. Then the heavies make their way into the club past us greeting us all as they come through, chatted to a few of them between takes (The scene was taken over & over again from different camera angles) Then at 10.30pm it was time to be shuttled back to base in the minivan & have some dinner. Today I had a rather tasty Haddock Kedgeree & Greek Salad, with a chocolate brownie with a scoop of mint choc chip ice cream & hot chocolate sauce. Jamie & Josh were really flirting & making me laugh, saying they were going to make me the white meat in their brown bread sandwich, Perry said I reminded him of Stacy Solomon (Yet another person that thinks that!)

Film Maker Owen 

Then it was back to the club for more filming we finished around 2.30am & went back to base I was waiting around for Mary to get a lift to Kings Cross, when Owen pulled up in his open top sports car & said "I'm going past Kings Cross, Mary is still going to be a while, jump in if you want a lift!" Which I did, though I kind of suffered by doing so, as Owen drives fast & the car is low & the sort of G-force when he took off at lights & round bends really took it out on my neck & like when you have a ear infection it made me feel very Woozy & Car Sick!!.... We laughed about the Jamaican girl who ponced a lift off him, after the filming at the restaurant, Jamie & I had laughed that she was sooooo going to groom him & flirt & get him to divert from his route to Brixton & get him to drive her all the way to her door in Peckham!! 

And Owen confirmed that she did exactly that, calling him constantly "Darling!!" he was making me laugh imitating her doing a strong West Indian accent!!.... Eventually around 4-4.30am I got to Kings Cross, feeling rather nauseous from my car journey & git the slow train to St Albans getting home around 6am. I accepted the load of people from the shoot that added me on Facebook tonight & then went to bed & crashed out (Calories consumed 1,391)

Wednesday 13th July (Wall Of Fame) Despite getting into bed at 6am, I woke at 10.30am with a really painful stiff neck & shoulders. But took some pain killers with a Diet Coke & popped to the shop for a news paper & lay on the bed for a while thinking well I don't need to be at Wall Of Fame's gates in Borehamwood until 4.30pm so I can chill & relax & get ready in my own time..... Or so I thought.... I read the paper while waiting for the drugs to kick in a bit, The front page headline was BROWN WRONG with the sun saying his accusations were an  inaccurate, smear. As they didn't probe his sick sons medical records, the source was a father of a fellow Cystic Fibrosis suffering child & Brown had actually given them consent to run the story! Brown still a bullshitter then, even when no longer in government!

Liar Brown With Liar Blair

The hitman who is vital to the honeymoon murder case of Anni, is on his death bed with cancer (I wouldn't be surprised if that is why Shrien is delaying the case citing depression!!) He had said earlier that it was a contract killing & not a random carjacking, but later retracted the statement, claiming it was made under torture.

Shrien & Anni 

One British ticket won last nights £162Million on Euromillions Lottery...... with the numbers 17 - 19 - 38 - 42 - 45 & lucky stars 9 & 10 ...... Sadly it wasn't me!! .......Mind you I didn't play & as none of my numbers came up, maybe just as well. 

I got in the shower around 12.45pm hoping the hot water would ease my neck & shoulders that the painkillers had, had no effect on thus far! I was sat in a towel with a heat pack on my neck to try & ease the pain, when Ian called me on my mobile about 1.45pm saying he planned to be in Borehamwood at 3pm adding "where shall we meet?"..... WTF!!!!! he could of told me sooner he planned to have a pre-show drinkipoo's, as well as after, I was planning on being there 4-4.15pm Shit!! I said "The pub by Tesco's by Elstree Studio's" while thinking 'Fuck why didn't he text me last night or this morning he was thinking of being there for 3pm' He said he had a casting/audition & then he'd go straight to Kings Cross & call me when he was on the train (I hoped the casting ran over to give me more time)

I had the new's on as I got ready, there has been a fare bit on the news lately about Amy Whinehouse, including worrying clips of her all over the place on stage, totally out of it and mumbling not singing, who the hell is her manager? She should never have been allowed to go on in that stage, doesn't she have people keeping an eye on her, to make sure she stays sober/clean while working? Her dad seems more interested in riding on Amy's coattails of fame than dragging her off to be helped (If that was me.... My dad would section me & not let me out until I was 100% clean & then made sure I was watched for a year by a minder until he was certain I'd not return to drink or drugs) Amy's dad doesn't seem to care, after concerned tweets from fans of Amy he tweeted this yesterday....

 mitch winehouse 

I dried my hair & did my make-up with great difficulty (A pain in the neck is a bloody pain in the neck!!) when just after 2pm, Ian called again, to say the casting was super quick & he was on the train.... 'fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!!' He is now going to be there before 3pm there is no way I will gt there in that time he will have to wait!!... I had no time to think of what to wear & I feel so awful pain wise I cant be arsed to get dressed up (I  doubt they show the audience anyway!!) I quickly had a falafel side salad & a cheese sandwich as I'd probably get no chance to eat until at least 8pm & I'd felt too nauseous to eat breakfast earlier! Partly due to pain & partly due to still feeling car sick from my car ride with Owen.

Then I just pulled on my jeggings & my bright pink Jane Norman, capped sleeved T-Shirt with the silver studded crown design & slipped on my TrimSoles & put my silver thong gladiator sandals, in my sequined tote bag, I reapplied my shocking pink Versace lipstick, & dropped it & my umbrella in my tote bag. I tied my hair back in a ponytail put in some earrings & pulled on my leopard print trench mac then headed off to the station, I was just on my way & locking the door when Ian called, I said I was on my way to the station & he was winging about me taking ages. Despite feeling like shit due to pain, I resisted to bring up the fact, that he is often late when we meet up & once he was over 2hrs late!! I got a paper en route to the station & when I got to the station the train was delayed (What is it with shit trains & me this week?) So I read some of the paper while I waited.

I got to the station at 3.45pm & met Ian & we headed off to the BBC Elstree studios (My friend Maxine will be there filming her cameo role for Eastenders next week) There were kids sat outside the Eastenders exit waiting to get autographs, we went to our entrance & I was shocked to see that other than Ian, I looked really dressed up, in my very casual attire!! Jesus I know the camera probably doesn't show the audience but this looked like extras from 'Down & Out's R-us'.... I thought they'd got lost en route to the soup kitchen!! It was like a Hobo line up! 

BBC Elstree, EastEnders Lot

We got in & I was immediately spotted by one of the extras that did the Benidorm shoot, a woman in her mid to late 50's who was obsessed with Jake/Mateos (I think she was barking up wrong tree there) with wild red hair who looks a bit like a Druid, or a Wicca Witch. Ian and I got a glass of white wine (It was vile it was like turps mixed with white spirit) I'd of rather of been given a glass of pickled onion vinegar (I actually love that & I drink it from the jar!) It really was Vile! I didn't get red (my preferred wine) because it dyes my lips badly so need to be wearing dark lipstick or be at home or at dinner to drink it.

Before we went in the studio Ian bout a bottle of the vile white wine for himself (He must have the cast iron stomach wall lining, like that of a wino/alcoholic as it truly is like drinking acid!!) Not wanting the white or red wine options, I had to go with the only other option a bottle of Stella Artois which was OK considering I don't drink beer/larger. Eventually we went into the studio the whole set for 'Wall Of Fame' (which I'd not seen before as I don't get Sky on my TV) Looked very much like a Versace Woman Perfume Promo site & packaging.

The Wall Of Fame Set
Versace Woman Perfume

David Walliams came out & clowned a bit with the audience then the 6 other panelists came out, Jack Dee's team had Kim Marsh & some blonde female comedian I'd never heard of (Probably because she wasn't very funny) called Tamara Ecclestone, plus Kate Garraway's team, who had comedians Jack Whitehall & Andrew Maxwell (Irish comedian often on Mock the Week etc) The show that was being filmed was episode 6 that will be shown on Friday 15th July. They had a crocodile brought out called 'Baby' I felt really sorry for the poor thing it looked really scared & its poor legs couldn't get a grip anywhere on the shiny marble like floor & you could see its jaws were taped with clear tape so it couldn't open it's mouth & snap ( Here is a clip of 'Baby' on the show, below if you look closely you can see the tape about 3" in from the tip of his/her nose)

After the show was over we went to the bar just across the road from the studios in Borehamwood High St, By Tesco's, right near Elstree Studios. I had a Cider & Ian a White Wine. Then we popped into KFC where headed for Borehamwood train station (Ian buying a bottle of White Wine en route!!) Then we got the train from Elstree Borehamwood to St Albans. First stop was The Waterend Barn as they have a nice beer garden area for Ian to smoke in & being owned by Weatherspoons the drinks are cheaper! 

Ian had large glasses of Pinot Grigio & I had Vodka Slimline's. We got chatting two two nice blonde girls from Watford & Ian was showing them a cigarette rolling machine he was trialing, which you packed loose tobacco into & then it squeezes it into a rolled paper with filter. It's brilliant when it goes on sale I think I'll get one for Erdal (He is a heavy smoker & that will help him save money on all the packets of cigarettes he buys!!)

Similar To Ian's Machine, But Slightly Different Design

We left there & went back to mine & I had a glass of his white wine while he drank the rest & I played him my DVD of the film I'm in 'Losing It' as he recently met a pal of mine that was in it too at a casting! Ian popped downstairs to the courtyard to have a fag (cigarette to you Americans reading!!) When he came up he said I see you have microwave popcorn can I make some? Lol he'd been through my fridge, freezer & cupboards for stuff to eat (He must of been gutted to find apart from the popcorn, just Quorn, Quark, Pulses, Vegetables, Rice Cakes & porridge) I said yes & laughed as he was just like fellow Libra Candie, making himself at home & helping himself. Which is something I feel uncomfortable doing in other peoples homes myself, even when I am told I can!! (Even when I am staying at Candies who I have known around 25yrs!!)

I feel like I'm stealing even when I am staying at hers & told to help myself from the kitchen. Maybe it's because as kids when our parents are on a budget, we couldn't just take something from the fridge or larder if we were hungry, we had to ask a parent 1st & if it was close to meal time we had to wait, or if not we were told what we were allowed out of the cupboard. If it was April & we had Easter Eggs in the fridge we could take some of our Easter Egg if it was after Breakfast/Lunch/Dinner but not shortly before any of those, as not to spoil our appetite. 

Maybe that's why unlike Candie & Ian, I feel uncomfortable going into the kitchen of the homes of people I'm staying with, and helping myself? Even if I was feeling famished!! We sat chatting watching a bit of TV munching the popcorn with the wine (I had to laugh when he brought it up as he'd even found my popcorn bowl!!) We didn't have a late night as he had to be home late morning, for his Asda home delivery. So we blew out the candles & crashed out in bed & fell asleep surprisingly quick (Calories consumed 1,703)

Thursday 14th July, We woke fairly early-ish at 8.30am & Ian had a shower & I popped to the job center to check on any local jobs & also to post a parcel off to eBay customer while he had his shower, I got back & he was dressed & just sending a few emails on his laptop then he had to go home. I popped out & got a paper then had 4 Rice Cakes with Quark with a Shapers Cream Soda for breakfast & read the paper. 

The front headlines is about a teen England Mascot who has been stabbed to death by a Greek Taxi Driver on his dream holiday in Zante after battling a serious bowel disorder. It seems he & his group had been a mouthy pain in the arse's, giving lip to the cabbie Stelios Morfis while somewhat pissed up as many lads on holiday get, they may of deserved a clip round the ear but not stabbing, it seem a row erupted (maybe over fare costs, foreign taxi drivers love to try rip of tourists with their fares) that got heated & then the cabbie spurred on by his friend & fellow cabbie finally went berserk & stabbed several of the teens killing Robert Sebbage 18.

Aimee Bowen

A 10 year old Welsh school girl was badly bunt after her school banned pupils using suncream (WTF??) Fair skinned Aimee Bowen got blistered skin at her sports day practice. She & her friends were not allowed to put sun lotion on, in case some pupils were allergic to it....... errr what were the sports day sports? Wrestling, How is enough of their sun cream going to rub off of them to, get on other pupils, for them to have an allergic reaction? (On the scant chance they would!) The Schools Head Sharon Freeguard said "They tell the pupils to apply lotion before arriving. It would not be appropriate for staff to put cream on 200 children!" Anyone knows that sun cream needs to be applied more than once throughout the day on children & if put on 1st thing in the morning, some of it will be rubbed off by their school uniform, then once in gym kit more would need to be applied, nobody I'm sure is expecting staff to cream 200 children, at 10yrs they are more than capable of reapplying it themselves if it wasn't banned ..... Idiots!!

A mum was banned from breastfeeding her hungry, crying, baby in a council office to avoid upsetting Muslims (Oh fuck right off!!!) Suggesting she use the public toilets in local shopping center instead (How sanitary!!) Especially as she could of done it facing the corner of a wall where nobody could of seen anything.

Two foreign embassies have finally paid back thousands of pounds in outstanding parking fines their diplomats incurred in London in 2010 (Only took them 7 months) Kazakhstan who owed the most (Obviously the worst  parker's) paid £37,160 for 627 tickets, while Nigeria paid back £3,450 for 78 tickets (they will soon make that back on internet scams!!)

Once I'd read the paper I did a bunch of job searches online & applied for a bunch of auditions & casting agents, & took a load of pain killers as I was in a lot of pain in my neck & shoulders. I made a Tuna Baguette with a Side Caesar Salad which I had with Chilli Crisps. While watching 'The Real Housewives Of Orange County' the majority of the housewives etc are still being vile to the lovely Gretchen Rossi, with no good reason, the girl is going through a hard enough time as it is, without them constantly picking on her, and misconstruing every single thing thing she says or does, twisting every thing she says & does to fit the negative persona they want to attach to her, which is not her at all! She is kind & considerate, with a really genuine heart she does selfless things with good intentions & yet they try to twist it that's she is doing things for ulterior motives (Which is bullshit) 

Gretchen Rossi

Just because she is beautiful,chirpy, smiley & a tad loud at times!! Good God, with what the girl has to go through day in day out, behind closed doors with her partner dying of leukemia, having to wash him & wipe his butt etc cant be easy! So if she paints on a smile & throws herself into a night out with the girls, when she actually gets one & maybe drinks a bit too much on occasion, to help her forget her heartaches, so what!! good for her she deserves it & who the hell are any of them to judge?? They really do victimise her for no good reason & it's painful to watch, they're meant to be her friends!

Did some housework then watched 'Home & Away' at 6.30pm then made some Macaroni Cheese for Dinner Watched EastEnders (Depressing as ever) & Corrie (Quite amusing!) Then I made the mistake of watching Peter Andres new show 'Here To Help' Good god is that a stinker (I wont be suffering any other episodes!!) The format is a pile of crap, there is no good reason why he has to do anything for a trade, for the things he needs, to use to help the person, that he's helping. The production company could easily pay for them it's nothing excessive (In fact I'm sure the production did pay for everything he used as the trade offs  were so lame, short & easy but more importantly BLOODY BORING!!! Plus at one point he just happens to call his friend Gino for help & he just happens to be in the area (Birmingham!) then later Gino gives the woman a set of his NEW kitchen range of pots & pans (Nice free advertising of your mates new merchandise Peter ..... hmmmm did I see the product placement triangle at the start/Ad breaks of this show??..... Errrr No I don't think I did!!!) I don't dislike Peter Andre, but it has to be said 'Here To Help' is one massive steaming turd of a show!! It truly stinks!!!

Then I watched 'The Killing' Brilliant Drama which totally made up for the waste of 1hr of my life watching that pile of dung before & munched on a few handful's of salted peanuts as I had the munchies & then crashed out at midnight surprisingly tired (Bless You Paul McKenna ....... & Candie ) So I had a shower & went to bed as I had to be up early for the Hospital Pain Clinic tomorrow ..... At Last!!!(Calories consumed 2,267 ...... whoops!!)

Friday 15th July (Pain Clinic) I got up at 7.30am when the alarm went off, I dreamt but I can't recall it anymore, I had shower & then fixed a grapefruit & a Diet Coke for breakfast & popped to the shop for a newspaper & took it to the Hospital with me in case I end up sat there for hours despite my appointment time (Which is the norm in British Hospitals) I wore my Jeggings & my white cheesecloth smock (which is low on the back of the neck, so good for the doc if he needs to check it over!!.. plus my white Reebok trainers to work on my muscles, while I'm in too much pain for the gym. Today is my Ex Kieron's 51st & also it would of been my cat Amy's 17th Birthday. 

I got to the Hospital at 9.15am ready for my 9.30am appointment & once I signed in at the desk I was seen surprisingly quickly, the doc said he couldn't see my X-ray as it wouldn't come up on his PC but from the report it appears I have unaligned discs, no doubt caused by my whiplash, which has Osteoarthritis set into it, as well as a form of Arthritis that causes curvature of the spine (Which mum had) They will do a MRI on me to see the extent of both the disc displacement & the added problems, but said although they can fix the discs, as I have the neck deterioration by the 2 forms of Arthritis of a woman in her 70's they will only be able to offer pain relief for that as it cannot be repaired/reversed & that will be hit & miss for a while until they find what works. He said seeing a professional masseuse would help in the meantime, I'm sure it would but I don't have the money for that. I can't get it on the NHS sadly & although I have friends trained in it, they live in London & so there not about to help!

MRI Scan Machine

I had to take a bunch of forms to the X-ray to arrange a MRI appointment, they said they'd call me with a date for it. Then I had to go to Reception & book in for the next available Pain Clinic appointment, they also said they would have to call me with an appointment date lets hope neither are too long!! Came home & read the paper. The Front page is an Apology to the sun from The Guardian Newspaper, after the wrongful accusation that they hacked Gordon Browns sick son's medical records!!

Also the front page was about how Yorkshire murderers, Rose & Fred West's Bradford house is now a Brothel, so you could say it's gone from housing one bunch of stiff's to a different type! Scotland Yards vice squad fear over 40 women, some aged just 18 were trafficked into the house by Czech criminals.  They were conned into thinking they were coming over for jobs or to be be paid cash for agreeing to a sham marriage (I feel less sorry for the latter group!!) Forced into prostitution each girl could make the gang up to £3,000 a week, those that defied orders were punished with rape & sexual assault! They also raked in £4,000 for each sham marriage. One brave victim escaped & raised the alarm.

Fred & Rose West, Pure Evil

The £162Million Euro Millions Lottery, solo winner (Lucky bugger) have claimed their win (please let it be a generous relative/ friend lol)

Manchester cops were probing the deaths of two hospital patients who's medication was interfered with the victims were a man of 71yrs & a woman of 44yrs, both with terminal illnesses. 10 other patients were affected after drugs were contaminated! Police were only alerted when an experienced nurse spotted a number of patients on her ward with unexplained low blood-sugar levels. After her sharp observations it was discovered saline ampoules had been interfered with.

I made myself lunch of a small jacket potato with baked beans, with spicy steamed veg & 4 Krisprolls, washed down with a coffee, while watching 'Loose Women' Then did a bunch of laundry & Ironing & watered the plants, then I watched 'The Real Housewives Of Orange County' the housewives are still picking on poor Gretchen Rossi for no good reason (Give the girl a break, jealousy is an ugly thing!!) 

Why The Hate For Lovely Gretchen Housewives?

Did some more chores & after that  a bunch of job & audition applications on line. Then it was time for 'Home & Away' Braxton may be a bad boy, but he's a HOT Bad Boy!!! I had a Tuna & Cucumber Sandwich for tea with some Chilli McCoy Crisps washed down with a Diet Coke & had a Berry Berry Solero for dessert. I watched the Soaps & a very funny 'Come Dine With Me' followed by '8 Out Of 10 Cats' 'Alan Carr: Chatty Man' & 'Chris Moyle's Quiz Night'. Chris Moyle is irritating, but I watched for guests David Walliams & Dermot O'leary who didn't disappoint!  

I got hungry so munched on some peanuts & drank some Diet Coke & watched 'The BBC Apprentice' I missed on BBC iPlayer. It was a Fast food task and was full of embarrassing gaffs from the apprentices who are meant to be business elite including thinking Christopher Columbus was English & discovered the potato!! PML (For those of you who don't know, Christopher was Italian & discovered America, Sir Francis Drake was English & discovered the potato!!) I also watched the  'The Apprentice Your Fired' program I missed too then went to bed tired around 2am (Calories consumed 2,117 whoops again!!)

Saturday 16th July, I had a really complex bizarre dream but forgot to write it down, so no longer can recall it, but I do recall it had the backing track of the song 'Praise You' which has kept popping into my mind for some reason?? What that reason is I have no idea!! Woke in intense pain, but not only my neck & shoulders this time, but my arms, hands, coccyx & left knee, Damn You Bloody Osteoarthritis!!! & Damn You Overcast, Rainy, English, Weather !!(Which heightens the joint pain tenfold!!) What happened to the scorching, drought inducing summer we were promised & which I got so excited about? (I am never going to trust the weather people again!!! They build up your hopes, only for reality to come along & smash them!!!

I took some painkillers & hobbled to the bathroom to wash, like some shuffling pensioner. then pulled on my pink & white jogging bottoms, white vest, my B&W TrimSoles & pulled on my Black Velour Petite Bateau jogging top & pulled up the hood & went out into the lashing rain & hobbled to the shop to get some milk for a coffee & a Sun paper. The front cover was on the Scottish couple Chris (55) & Colin (64) Weir, who won the huge £161Million Euromillions Lottery, they & there family will be set up for life & generations to come! I wouldn't have gone public if I'd won such a huge amount, they will be deluged with begging letters & targeted by con artists now! 

I'd rather stay anonymous & decide how much to give friends, family & charity's without anyone trying to target, con or influence me!! The win makes them 430th on the British Rich List just underneath the Beckham's (Ooh the pain killers I could buy with that!!) Imagine winning £161,653,000!!! £1Million, would change my life forever (Hell a £100,000 win would change my life forever! But I won't be one of the begging letter writers)

I got in & made a coffee to take my pain killers with, and had 4 Krisprolls spread with Nutella for breakfast then I darned 30 pairs of socks while reading the paper. J-Lo has split with her husband Marc Anthony after 7yrs together. He always seemed to me to be, too short, ugly & boring for her anyway!

Apparently cute playboy model Kayla Collins wants a showdown with Cheryl Cole over Ashley what the hell other than a large wage packet has Ashley got that two stunning women are after him? He has a very ordinary face, a weedy body, horrible taste in baggy white pants and is totally unfaithful with munters even a sane munter wouldn't want him let alone two pretty financially stable women!!..... I just don't get it!!? I wouldn't want him, even if he came wrapped in Gold, that was embedded with Canary Diamonds (My favourite type of diamond!!) 

The idiot druggy stepson of Pink Floyd's David Gilmore has been sent to jail for 16months (should of been a lot more) for his part in the student riots while high on LSD & booze, wielding a mannequins leg after Top Shops window was smashed in, kicking a window, hanging off a Union Jack flag at the Cenotaph, & lobbing a bin at a Jaguar escorting Prince Charles & Camilla to the theater. No doubt the privileged junkie will serve only a fraction of that!!.... Mind you the vile Muslim extremist Emdadur Choudhury who burned a poppy wreath on Armistice Day was only fined a mere £50!!!

Three earthquakes hit the south coast in 14hrs Just before the weekend, the biggest in West Sussex (I use to live in Warninglid West Sussex) causing houses to shake due to a magnitude of 3.9 on Thursday the tremor was the biggest in the region since 1734, the other 2 quakes measured 1.8, the main quake had a depth of 10Km (6.2miles) with its epicenter south of Portsmouth. Bloody hell Pissing rain, floods now earthquakes, can UK summer weather get any more shit??

I finished darning all my socks then made 2 small jacket potatoes which I had with quark & some tinned tuna, some Rivita's & lots of water. I did some washing up & laundry. Then later watched 'Odd One In' still gutted I lost out to that job due to one idiot, who pulled out, haven't spotted any of my fellow extras in it so far. Got peckish not hungry so had some chocolate porridge (I stirred some Nutella in it) for tea & watched the brilliant Camelot (Still think they could of got a better looking Arthur!!) 

Then the film 'The Others' with Nichole Kidman, while munching on some salted popcorn. Not a bad film but sadly I guessed the twist 5min into the film, would of been better if I'd not. Went to bad at 12.20am as I was feeling miserable with pain & the pain killers were just not doing their job!! (Calories consumed 1,725)

Sunday 17th July, I know I dreamt but I can't recall what about on waking, except a cat was in it somewhere! I woke in pain, but the pain was much less extreme than yesterday & was just in my neck & shoulders again! It's still grey & rainy out but not as stormy (Bloody English Summer!!!! It's been shit since the 70's to late 80's) I have to say it feels weird having no Sunday paper to buy today, and no alternative I fancy getting either, even though NOTW was getting less & less news & more & more features on a Sunday! Only the Sunday joke of a paper which is more of a Comic 'The Sunday Sport' comes close appeal wise!  

I got up and had a wash at 10am & dressed the same as yesterday, had a grapefruit & 2 Rivita spread with Nutella for breakfast, then I re-listed a load of stuff on eBay as it's free listings weekend, this weekend! I then popped to the shop around 3pm for some Diet Cokes & feeling lost without a Sunday paper, I decided to try out 2 Sunday Red-tops 'Daily Star Sunday' & 'The Sunday Mirror' but I seem to recall they rather like the BBC tend to have a Labour Party bias/leaning.

But I thought I'd give them a go, as their Sunday magazines looked OK! The Daily Sunday Star's front page was 'Lotto Couple On The Run, £162Million winners forced to flee home (Thought not being anonymous was a mistake ... they also seem to have gained £1Million overnight!) The chunky middle-aged couple who love a Chinese take-away treat, have been targeted by cranks & weirdo's coming round their house & ALREADY sackloads of begging letters (Do these people have no pride/shame?) from people from all over the UK  (Exactly why I said yesterday, that I'd stay anonymous if I'd won) A neighbour said "Why on earth have they let the cat out of the bag? If they wanted to stay here in this street, they should of kept quiet, Colin hardly ever goes out, he's a home bird & I can't see him spending much of all that money, it's hard to believe he & his wife can contemplate staying here, now everyone knows they have £162Million in the bank, they will be pestered to death!" Both their children Jamie 22 & Carley 24 have closed down their Facebook accounts. Colin who is unable to work after being crippled with Rheumatoid Arthritis (know how he feels)was apparently already comfortably off, due to investing in a group of rental holiday homes on the Ayrshire coast.

Alex & Chantelle's Fauxmance

There was a bit on Alex Reid who said he broke up with Jordan as she couldn't keep up with him in bed (Yawn) then him going on about how his relationship with Chantelle Haughton isn't a showmance (She goes through blokes like Immogen Thomas goes through footballers, jumping from one relationship straight into another!!) He boasts he is in the process of opening a chain of gyms & has a fitness DVD coming out, then says he is a serious actor (A seriously bad actor anyone who saw 'Killer Bitches' would say) & name dropped big style saying 'I had dinner with Rupert Everett the other night, after watching him in Pygmalion' hmmmm is that a cozy dinner for two Alex? Or did you just eat dinner in the same Theater Restaurant at the same time after the show??

Wannabe WAGs & female holiday reps are homing in on Marbella to bag a rich bloke (What happened to women, homing in on a lovely, dependable, cute, funny bloke?) 80% of the Rich blokes are arrogant, misogynist, vain, bastards, who will use the dumb bints, then throw them aside. Many of those men will be happily married with no intention of ever divorcing! Promotions girl Jodie Lee says Premier league players & playboy Arabs are the main targets for sash hungry gold diggers (They may well get more than they bargained for with the often misogynistic Arabs) 

Many Arabs see women as 3rd class citizens & have a saying 'Women for baby's & men for pleasure' and they view easy women with contempt. I got to know many escorts & prostitutes over the years, from frequenting top London Nightclubs & hotels & they often told my friend Candie & I, horror story's of what Arab clients did to them (Many needing medical care in hospital after) As Arab clients enjoyed very brutal forms of sex, with girls on the game, or who were easy, many were roasted & gang raped, by those who had diplomatic immunity, so the girls couldn't go to the police. Many told the same story of Arabs shoving a round bristled brush up them, dildo fashion *both orifices* often while the girl was held down & forced!!


Not much else in The Daily Star Sunday but the two magazines were not bad ...... 'Take 5' was quite good, soon to be divorced Wag Lizzie Cundy 42 was saying how her heart goes out to Stacey Giggs (mine did too until she stayed with the cheating chump, unlike Lizzie!!) Lizzie Cundy is odd looking, she looks older than 42yrs & is an example of too much Botox/fillers/plastic surgery etc & is way to thin she looks like a scrawny bag of bones which is aging too!! It also had a weeks TV listings. Plus 'OK! Extra' which was quite good there was an article on Elen Rivas with a bit of a fashion shoot & for once she didn't look sour faced, a big improvement, she should try to look less moody more often!

The Sunday Mirror went with 'Ashley's Rat It Again, Cole beds air hostess... as he's wooing back Cheryl' If true she gets no sympathy from me, for being such a pathetic mug! Apparently the wimpy footballer with appalling taste in baggy white pants, sneaked Virgin Atlantic Stewardess Kerry Meades (Who he'd slept with before, back in 2004 after being introduced in Leeds) into his LA hotel bedroom, just days before flying back to the UK to seal his reunion with Cheryl at her 28th Birthday Party. Meanwhile Ashley has phoned Cheryl's mum to ask for her blessing to propose to Cheryl again! Kerry even reckons a bag in the room, containing saucy Hustler Lingerie inside, was probably his Birthday Gift for Cheryl. She said Ashley deleted her from his blackberry list on July 4th, the day after Cheryl gave him a sexy lapdance on her birthday (Though unless she has hacking skills, not quite sure how she knows he did that? As she has not spoken to him since!!)

Kerry & Dan

Next it was a Bit on Kerry Katona desperately trying to get back with her Ex boyfriend Dan Foden (I'm sorry but 2-3 dates do not an Ex Boyfriend make!!) Ex 'Take Me Out' Dan 27 said as soon as Kerry's divorce to vile arsehole Mark Croft had been finalised she was on the phone to him. "It's obvious she wan't us to get back together!" (Errrr is it not unless she has said lets get back together or inviting you out on a date its not!) continuing "But there is no chance of that happening, being with her was a nightmare! she knows I've got a new girlfriend now, but she keeps calling me!" (Cant you still be friends & chat on the phone it's not like you had a long relationship & painful break up) "I want her to be happy but she needs to know there is no going back!" (Bit full of yourself aren't you Dan!!) He said he couldn't cope with their dates constantly having the press there due to them being staged by her management (CAN Associates at the time)

The homeowner accused of stabbing to death a burglar who broke into his home, will not be charged with murder (GOOD!!!) Peter Flanagan was arrested after confronting four armed robbers, that had kicked in the back door of his home, knifing thieving scum Jon Bennell 27 in the struggle.

The father of the wife, who was one half of Britain's biggest lottery Millionaire couple, said he hadn't known they'd won the £161Million (See its gone back down £1Million again, I guess The Star rounds up the rest of the press rounds down to the nearest £)

Food scientists have helped Leicester chippie owner develop a salt & vinegar flavoured salt to put an end to soggy chips, but if they are proper fresh cut, crispy, chip shop, chips, they don't go soggy and the moist vinegar enhances them, if they are those reconstructed french fries type you get from kebab houses they are dry without vinegar, so you would need ketchup or mayo to go with the new salt!

Traditional Fish & Chips

Again there wasn't much in that paper either & the 'Homes & Holidays' pull out was of no interest 'Celebs On Sunday' was better though with a bit on the 1st ever National Reality TV Awards (Which Ian & I went to) at Proud at The O2 Arena. Plus it had a weeks worth of TV listings.

I was still a lot of pain by lunchtime & washed down more painkillers with Diet Coke while eating a cheese & raw onion roll & some Branston Mini Cheddars & later I had a coffee & more painkillers a lie down when the pain got just too bad to bare! I fell asleep until 8.30pm  & woke hungry & had 2 Quorn steaks with a small jacket potato & roast parsnips. 

Annoyingly the film 'Australia' (That I wanted to see) was on at the same time as the final of 'The Apprentice' (Australia 8 - 11.10pm / The Apprentice 9 - 11pm) I was glad Tom won I was routing for him all along! Though I was amazed how Shite all 4 finalists Business plans were!! I'd be curios to see what the other 12 failed apprentices had as their business plans & if any of them would be any better? Watched some CSI & had a small bowl of porridge when peckish & went to bed, tired & in a lot of pain at 1am (Calories consumed 1,984)