Thursday, 2 June 2011

Evil Barbies, Britains Got Talent, 2011, Critique!!

The Britain's Got Talent's "mainly boring, lack lustre, auditions shows" are finally over & Now the Real show Begins & as usual Motor Mouth here, has opinions that she won't be keeping to herself (As Usual) so here it is Evil Barbies Britain's Got Talent Critique, Enjoy! (Or don't enjoy!..... I don't really care!!)

Semi Finals Day 1 Monday 30th May

The show begins with Amanda Holden in a beautiful light Creamy Beige cap sleeved dress, adorned with Gold applique & large chandelier like Gold earrings, with nice full hair. The Hoff in a Pail Blue shirt & Air-force Blue jacket, Michael McIntyre in a White shirt & Black thin tie & jacket, plus Simon in his usual open White shirt, but with a Light Grey jacket for a change.

Act 1 - Girls Roc - The Girl Troupe came on to one of my favourite Eurythmics songs 'Sweet Dreams' they had a much better set for the semi final & the choreography was better (what I could see of it as the bloody camera's kept sweeping out. Showing the whole set, so they were just dots in the distance on the stage!!) Which is just so FUCKING ANNOYING!! Zoom out as far as the stage area, so you can see the whole stage, fine!! But do Not do, the zoom out sweep of the whole studio, until the act has just finished, just before the judges get to talk!! We didn't tune in, for us to see the top of peoples heads!! 

The cameras did this a lot when Girls Roc were on & I think they could lose votes for it, as we missed a lot of their act due to it, which would be a shame, as they were more instep with each other tonight & I liked the costumes, although the costume for the blonde, with the very big, fake boobs (Who normally stands in centre, of the group of girls) fitted very badly at the chest area & wasn't very flattering to her boobs (Which is surprising, as they'd obviously had them made to measure!!) A Yes from me! but probably not the public!

Act 2 - Donelda Guy - The 1st time round, her two cute Collie dogs, Biba & Mega were amazing, they even did a conga, tonight they, or at least one of them, seemed confused by her signals & did it's own thing, circling the dog congaing with her, instead of joining on the back of the conga line itself, a few times, it seemed. But their little tapping of their front paws, in a march, in time with her, was clever & cute! I think the large, noisy, full, studio may of distracted & confused one of them (Still not sure which??) It's a regretful No from me!

Act 3 - Stuart Arnold - The Entertaininator, how he got through into the Semi's, when there were so many, far better acts that should of  got through, like the singer that was knocked out by Jay Worley (Wrongly I feel) I don't know!! Why part of his act is, to be badly done up as the Terminator, other than his surname being Arnold, I also don't know?? But his Plan B singing impersonation was good, but he is no Royal Variety act!! It's a NO from me!!

Act 4 - Paul Gbegbaje - An Extremely talented, super fast fingered, piano player & did a talented super fast medley. He will get into the top 3, maybe even into the final. But talented as he no doubt is, he is not interesting enough, to hold your attention on a Royal Variety Performance. He is the act that you will go make a coffee/tea while he's on, with the volume turned up on your TV, so you can hear, but not watch him, while you make your drink, or take a loo break!!! I'm Undecided but probably a Yes from the public!

Act 5 - Bruce Sistaz - Two Martial Arts teachers, plus sisters aged 19 & 27yrs, these girls are super talented & in perfect unison with each other, tonight they were even more spectacular, in both performance & costume where they were sexy ninjas, crossed with Brittany's Oops red latex outfit. They had a backing of male martial artists & added props, they were excellent, they would make fab Bond Girl baddies!! I hope they get through, but think somehow they wont, but even if they don't, I'm sure film makers will snap them up!!! It's a Yes from me!

Act 6 - Ted & Grace - I never saw their original audition & I wish I'd not not had to endure this painful & pointless act either!! Singing (If you can call that noise singing)  'Pack Up Your Troubles' What were the judges thinking putting them through? It must of been a pity vote for 92yr deaf Ted, who can't sing, no doubt due to being deaf &is totally out of time with the music, no doubt for the same reason. Then add Grace a 21yr old average singer, looking tonight like a Essex hooker, from the 1980's. A totally & utterly pointless act, which denied decent acts a place, a total farce, this is 'Britains Got Talent' NOT 'Jim Will Fix It'!!! It's a Very Angry NO!! from me!

Act 7 - Joe Oakley - A very talented Stunt Cyclist, his 1st audition was impressive (& I'm not even a fan of stunt cyclists/skateboards etc) But he excelled himself with the set up tonight. Many times, I thought ooh he could really hurt himself, if he makes a slight slip up!! Luckily for all he didn't!!! A possible finalist, It's a Yes from me!

Act 8 - Ronan Parke - A cute 12yr old Bieber haired singer, with a pitch perfect voice, he practically has it in the bag with the cute factor alone, then he sang Adele's, 'To Make You Feel My Love' perfectly, with absolute confidence, on that huge stage. He'd just made sure he's in the final, as every parent & grandparent will be voting for Ronan, which means some other good acts are going to not get through, as there are 4 other good acts on tonight too!!! It's a Yes from me!

After tonight's performances my final 3 would be - Ronan Parke, Girls Roc & Bruce Sistaz, although I'd also want to put through Joe Oakley & Paul Gbegbaje. 

But I don't think it will be that line up!! Because I think that tonight's bad camera shots, will screw over Girls Roc & possibly the Bruce Sistaz chances too!! 

I think the public will put through - Ronan Parke, Joe Oakley & Paul Gbegbaje & The 2 finalists being Ronan Park & Joe Oakley (Due to Joe being more visually entertaining to watch than Paul)

Results Show - final 3 

1 - Ronan Parke  (As Expected the cute factor never fails!!)

2 - Paul Gbegbaje (Expected very talented!!)

3 - Joe Oakley (Also Expected due to skills!!)

So Ronan Parke goes through - again no surprise due to cute factor (Though I do think there should be no kids in Britain's Got Talent, but that they should get a 2nd show Kids Have Got Talent)

So its Paul Gbegbaje V Joe Oakley for the judges to vote through..... Surely its a tough contest, as both are talented in their own fields personally I'd go for Joe. The Judges are split 2 votes each, so it goes to deadlock & now it's down to who gets the most phone votes..... & it's....... Paul Gbegbaje!!

Semi Finals Day 2 Tuesday 31st May

The show begins with Amanda Holden in a beautiful, clingy, Silver Grey, lacy number with Joanna Lumley/ Patsy, French pleated hair. The Hoff in a Black shirt & Grey Jacket, Michael McIntyre in a Burgundy shirt/tie combo & Grey jacket, plus Simon in his usual open White shirt & Black jacket uniform.

Act 1 - Two & A Half Men - A good fun act, their moves & also clothing, tied in well with their 30's music in the background, but is it enough to get through? Another lot of annoying panning out camera shots, yet again!! made the viewer miss a large slice of their act, unlike those in the studio, which could act against them, just like I feel it did for Girls Roc, so I'm not sure, but I like them! It's a Yes from me.

Act 2 - Enchantment  - Nice costumes & face paint, but the act itself was somewhat BORING, especially when he starts off his singing with Ave Maria, which seemed to have no connection whatsoever with what was going on, on stage! It was bitty & had no flow, nor was it interesting!! It was just a few women in Lycra Leopard, Tiger, Lion & Zebra outfits, plus a guy dressed as a Lycra clad Frog, bouncing & doing somersaults, on those running stilts amputees use in the Para Olympics & also some women in fairy like attire, in hoops spinning & dangling, above it all. None of it went together with each-other, nor the opera choices of music that he sung, it was unorganised chaos, I think they definitely wont be going through! It's a No from me!

Act 3 - Herbie Armstrong - I never liked him in the auditions, I just didn't like his singing voice at all & I felt Amanda, David & Co put him through out of pity, because they liked him, NOT because they liked his singing. Tonight he came on looking like a man in need of Prozac & then murdered Barry Manilow's 'Mandy' it was just so bloody awful, totally out of tune & it sounded like he was going to burst into tears & have a break down any minute. Painful to watch. It's a resounding NO from me!

Act 4 - Lorna Bliss - The Britney look-alike originally given 3 NO's was given a reprieve & returned tonight, to perform a medley of 'Slave' & 'Oops I Did It Again' She has a good figure, good costumes, & she looks like Britney. But she should either get singing lessons, or stick to being just a look-alike, as the singing voice was weak, and tonight's performance a bit lame! It's another NO from me!! (I have actually met her & she is as barking as Britney, in her shaving head days!)

Act 5 - New Bounce -  A bunch of 4 kids singing 'Forget About The Money' (I bet their parents aren't, as they rub their hands together ... kerching!!) Not bad, though one kid 'James' sang flat a lot!! Plus the group name sounds like a washing detergent! They Will probably get through though, thanks to cute factor! I'm not blown away by them, I'm undecided, but I think it will be a Yes from the public!

Act 6 - Jean Martyn -  A organ playing, super smiley 'Marjorie Dawes, on Proac' looky likey, with a taste for gaudy sequined jackets!! Nice woman, plays well, but is hardly a Royal Variety standard of entertainment act, even with the semi naked, hot, male background dancers, as added fillers for the large stage!! It's a No from me!

Act 7 - David & Karen - Brilliant magic act, very fast & slick, this time the quick swap over, involved being locked in, a full tank of water, this is the stuff of Royal Variety Performances. Surely they must be the 1st BGT magic act through!!?? A resounding YES from me!

Act 8 - Up & Over It - Table Slappers (No not the type you see hanging round the VIP rope, at China White's) But a kind of pat-a-cake version of River Dance, not surprising I guess, as both have danced in River Dance. Alas on this performance, they also added, a bit of River Dance style dancing to their act, diluting the originality of their table slapping act somewhat & it didn't really flow as well, with this addition. It's another NO from me!

After tonight's performances my final 3 would be - Two And A Half Men, David & Karen, and New Bounce (due to cute appeal) over Jean Martyn a close 4th, The 2 finalists being New Bounce plus David & Karen.

Results Show - final 3 

1 - New Bounce (No surprise!!)

2 - Dave & Karen (No surprise!!)

3 - Jean Martyn (A bit of a surprise!!)

So New Bounce go through - again no surprise due to cute factor (Though I do think there should be no kids in Britain's Got Talent, but that they should get a 2nd show 'Kids Have Got Talent' shown earlier or later in year, getting the same prize, that way Simon gets 2 of his shows acts, in The Royal Variety Performance!!)

So its Jean Martyn V Dave & Karen for the judges to vote through..... surely its No Contest & Dave & Karen will walk it, but NO!!! ALL 4 judges went for Jean Martyn?? I just don't get it? She is a Game Ole Bird, but Dave & Karen are by far Superior!!! I think that was a Piss Poor Decision!

Semi Finals Day 3 Wednesday 1st June

The show begins with Amanda Holden in a beautiful backless, Red dress with big shoulder pads & very 1950's with a twist, pinned hair with platted sides, The Hoff in a White shirt & Royal Blue Jacket, Michael McIntyre in a mono tone Black shirt, tie & jacket, plus Simon in his usual open White shirt & Black jacket uniform, again!

Act 1 - Circus Of Horrors - The Normal COH Feast For The Eyes, of abnormality, from the already established act (I was filmed helping them, saw a man in half in 1996, for a German TV show, when I was one of the reporters for the German Show) They are fantastic, but I doubt they will go through, as so much was going on, on stage, that some viewers, could miss some great bits, especially with BGT's camera crews, fucking annoying habit, of zoom out to long shots, of the stage & audience while the acts are performing (Simon sort it out we tuned in to see the acts perform, NOT the Fucking auditorium & audience!!!!) If you must zoom out, wait until the acts finished, or do it to static acts, like piano players!!! It's a Yes from me, but I feel it will be a No from the viewers!

Act 2 - Jay Worley - This 18yr kid, had to sing off against another guy, for his place in the semi's & I much preferred the other guy, who was a far better singer & had the sexfactor, unlike Jay who to be honest, doesn't even have the cute factor. Tonight he sang The Kings Of Leon's 'Need Somebody' it was nothing special, and quite nasal, the other guy definitely should of got through, this kids just not good enough, or cute enough! It's an Absolute No from me!

Act 3 - Angela & Teddy - Angela a pensioner who reminds me of the Gran from BBC's The Royal Family (Aptly for a Royal Variety Performance I guess) & Teddy a sweet but old, 12yr old Poodle. Bless Teddy, he tries his best for potty Angela, but this act is just dog tired!!!! It's a regretful No from me!

Act 4- ABYSS - Another dance group, with good neon/fluorescent stripped clothes, which looked good under the low lights, fairly good dancing, but nothing special, they are whey behind Diversity's standard & also that of several dance acts, that we have seen since, I think the boys will be sent back into the Abyss!! It's a No from me!

Act 5 - Wachiraporn Nan Tirpak - I have no idea why this act got through to the Semis? It is basically costume changes while miming badly & not even any of those clever fast clothes changes at that! I think she only got through so Michael could call her "Watching Porn" again, on live TV!! I think tonight's act was even worse than her 1st offering, she changed outfits just 3 1/2 times coming on as beauty queen, her dress was ripped off to reveal a bikini, while miming to 'Only Girl In The World' 

Then she goes into one of two huge boxes, done up like a big present, to do a Not So Quick Change (Considering she is only in a bikini & obviously has dressers, helping her inside the huge box) Changing into Gerry Halliwell's, Union Jack dress, then coming out to 'I'll Tell You What I Want' walking across the stage to the next huge box & coming out again as yet another beauty/prom queen to 'Only Girl In The World' Again!!....... Boring!!.... Ting Tong..... Gone Wrong!! It's a NO NO NO!! from me (& any sane person)

Act 6 - Les Gibson - A very likable guy, doing some Very Good impressions of - Alan Sugar, Grant Mitchell, Gordon Ramsey, Louie Walsh, plus Ant & Dec put together in a good format. He's definitely going through to the final, unless the public are barking mad!! It's a Yes from me!

Act 7 - James Hobley - Likable Autistic Kid, who overcame his difficulty's with autism, via the medium of dance, and in doing so excelled in dance. Dancing to Leona Lewis 'Why Does It Hurt Me' a good mix of ballet & expressive dance, I think he stands a good chance of getting through, especially as there is scant competition tonight! It's a Yes from me!

Act 8 - Aeolian Chimes - I'm surprised this scruffy, married couple, Gay & Alan got through to the Semi's, despite their capability's at bell-ringing! They did a good Phantom Of The Opera medley, but unlike the phantom, it sent no chills down my spine, if they get through I will be amazed!! It's a NO from me!

After tonight's performances my final 3 would be - Les Gibson, James Hobley, and Circus Of Horrors or ABYSS, The 2 finalists being Les Gibson & James Hobley.

Results Show - final 3 

1 - Les Gibson (No surprise!!)

2 - James Hobley (No surprise!!)

3 - Aeolian Chimes (Bloody Amazed!!)

So Les Gibson goes through - Not surprisingly as his act was very good!

So its James Hobley V Aeolian Chimes for the judges to vote through..... it really was no contest & of course James Hobley went through.

Semi Finals Day 4 Thursday 2nd June

The show begins with Amanda Holden in a beautiful strapless, Gold figure hugging dress with a big blingy over-sized gold bead, necklace that me likey!! & nice full bobbed hair a bit 50's/60's starlet, The Hoff in a Pail Blue shirt & Black tie & Jacket, Michael McIntyre in a White shirt, skinny Black tie & Grey jacket, plus Simon in his usual open White shirt & Black jacket uniform, yet again!

Act 1 - Dance Angels - A female dance troupe, ranging in ages from 9yrs to 23yrs. They did exactly the same act, as they did for their audition, starting off in black cloaks/body-stockings with dayglow neon leggings & gloves & white masks. Dancing to Techno music, then bursting out into multi coloured samba costumes, to Samba music, with NO New Twists, not wise! The surprise of dark costumes to samba costumes has been seen before, so no longer a surprise! They really should of upped their game for a Semi Final, I feel they have shot themselves in their dance feet & made themselves seem a one trick troupe!! It's a No from me!

Act 2 - Jessica Hobson - I never saw her 1st audition, but tonight I certainly was not impressed with this 19yr olds interpretation of Beyonce's 'Single Ladies' and who on earth trowelled on her make-up, Baby Jane Hudson??? That Black eyeshadow & Red lips was way too harsh for that 19yr old face! If it wasn't Baby Jane Hudson, it must of been that god awful 'supposed' make-up artist  who calls herself 'The Glitter Fairy' on Jerseylicious on E!........."If you like it, then you should of put a ring on it"...... Jessica Hobson.... Ring Free..... Nuff said!!

Act 3 - Mexican Mayhem - Last time One Chihuahua was good & one was bad & the trainer mad! Micheal said one being good &one being bad, is what made the act. Telling her not to train the other one, but Melanie said in her VT, that she chose to ignore him & in which case, after watching her and her two dogs tonight. She'd obviously decided to train BOTH of the little cuties to be bad this time, the only improvement was her outfit!! Sadly it's a NO from me!

Act 4 - Out Of The Blue - A Oxford University Male Vocal Group. Think of a Public School Glee Club, they made good work of 'Jump For My Love' & 'What a feeling' but I can't help but think, they'd of done better, going on the show pre Glee, but even so, they may be in the final 3. It's a Yes from me!

Act 5 - Nathan Wyburn - Stage Artist, last time he made a Michael McIntyre portrait out of Toast & Marmite, This time he attempted to do 3 portraits, to the Theme Tune of 'Mission Impossible' (All 3 to be finished by the Derrr Dahhhh end of the theme tune!) One by tea lights (Marilyn Monroe) one by fire (Michael Jackson) & One by Glitter (Elvis) Really NOT impressive at all. 

He had obviously already done 95% of the glitter for the Elvis portrait already, then piled on loads of glitter on top, to hide the image (Until it was lifted aloft & the glitter dropped to the floor) This was born out, when he only worked with glue in one corner, which was no doubt, already lightly marked out as to where to put the glitter, but would not be seen at a distance, and out of the 3 portraits, this was his best (if not brilliant) likeness. 

His tea light image, on a board covered in tea lights, some red, some yellow, were also obviously on a pre-lightly drawn out board, so he just had to move them about on the area, onto the correct marked out areas, like a painting by numbers! But of course doing it in a manic fashion, that makes it look like he is creating it out of his head, against the clock of the theme tune. Yet this still looked like any generic pop-art, blonde, with red lip-stick on & absolutely nothing like Marilyn Monroe. 

The Micheal Jackson that was to be made by fire, this was obviously on a fire proof white fabric canvas, that had, had a line drawing of MJ on, that had, had a white chord, that had been soaked in a flammable liquid & left to dry, sewn over the lines of the drawing. Again the white cord on white cloth, not showing up to the audience from a distance. The chord then being lit & the flame traveling, of course would tie in to the opening scenes of the 'Mission Impossible' TV show. As the theme played, unfortunately for Nathan the flames went out!! At best it formed an outline not unlike Myra Hindley & NOT at all like Micheal Jackson, which if you look at it, was quite ironic!! It's a uninspired No from me!

Act 6 - Jai McDowall - Singer, A lovely, unassuming, caring, guy who works as a carer. He has a very good voice, although I wish he'd shave his beard off, he'd look much better looking without it!! He looks a lot like a young Marty Pellow when he smiles. Tonight's song was a great song choice of Evanescence's 'Bring Me To Life' He sang his heart out & I will be amazed It's a Yes from me!

Act 7 - Steven Hall - The dancing 53yr old (who looks much older!! can't believe he's younger than my sister!!) Steven Hall, looks like a cross between Roy Hattersley & John Major, dancing while on acid. Who admits his zany comedic dancing, was copied inspired by a hit YouTube viral video. Tonight he did some different dances (Having not seen the YouTube video, that his 1st act was copied from, I'm unaware if tonight's routine was also on the YouTube video or not!!) I'd put him in 4th place, but he may sneak into the top 3 due to old biddys at home, without access to YouTube finding him a bit of a wheeze, mistaking him for a sprightly fellow pensioner!! It's at best a Maybe from me!

Act 8 - Edward Reid - Last time Edward sang nursery rhymes to a popular hit, this time he described children's TV characters, to the tune of 'The Greatest Love Of All' very funny & very original & talented to make it fit with song & he sung with a very good singing voice. I am Very Keen on this Camp Act, well that's no surprise really, with me being a Fag Hag!! No confirmation as of yet, of him being related to cross-dresser Alex Reid!! He could get through only Out Of The Blue could oust him, as I'm certain Jai is definitely through!! It's an absolute YES from me!

After tonight's performances my final 3 would be - Jai McDowall, Out Of The Blue, and Edward Reid, just pushing Steven Hall to 4th place. The 2 finalists being Jai McDowall & Edward Reid (HOPEFULLY!!)

Results Show - final 3 

1 - Jai McDowell  (No surprise, exactly what I said!!)

2 - Edward Reid  (No surprise!!)

3 - Steven Hall (I would of said 4th place but was a possibility!!)

So Jai McDowell go through - Not surprising, at all, as his act was excellent!

So its Edward Reid V Steven Hall for the judges to vote through..... The Hoff rightly voted for Edward, Michael & Amanda for Steven, I feel it really was down to the pro Steven studio audience, that in turn influenced Simon, voting for Steven, over Edward. With their chants of "Steven, Steven, Steven" with Simon saying, he was going to vote with, what he thought, the public wanted. 

When it seemed he personally would prefer Edward, so he voted for Steven. Steven was what the studio audience wanted, but was it what the public wanted?? He should of taken it to deadlock & let the phone votes show what the public, as a whole, wanted, it may or may not of been Steven!!

Semi Finals Day 5 Friday 3rd June 

The show begins with Amanda Holden in a  absolutely beautiful long, fishtail looking, Black backless dress with  a squarish sweetheart neckline, with gorgeous sheer & black cap sleeves giving a bandaged shrug effect & with bouffant hair pinned behind the ears, that wore Black filigree earrings. The Hoff in a Grayish Blue shirt & sheeny Grey jacket & tie. With Michael McIntyre in a Navy shirt & tie with his Dark Grey jacket, plus Simon in his usual open White shirt & Black jacket uniform, Yes Again!!!

Act 1 - Marawa - She flew in, wearing sexy latex, blue-mix, tiger print, leggings & bra top with a big Afro, pulling comedic, but cute, Betty Boo type faces, doing numerous hula-hoop tricks, some even involving fire, and multiple hula-hoops, excellent! I've seen her before as part of a Burlesque troupe, called Kitty Bang Bang Bang! It's a Yes from me!

Act 2 - Pip & Puppy - Pippa looked pretty & had a lovely white appliqued strapless dress on, Buddy her very cute dog looked adorable in his little Tuxedo, Pippa sang well with her operatic voice & gorgeous little Buddy joined in immediately almost drowning her out & the platform she stood on, raised to create a almost never ending dress, lucky that she had a firm grip on Buddy. An endearing act, Buddy is adorable, but is it Royal Variety Show Calibre?? I think not! With regret it's a No from me!

Act 3 - Celtic Colleens - They dance in darkness, in black with just florescent blue legs & hands showing doing a kind of River Dance, with the effect that there are amputated lower torso's dancing & at the end the neon hands come together, to spell Celtic Colleens, very good & very clever & would fit in well with a Royal Variety Show, but it's not for me. It's a No from me!

Act 4 - Mr & Mrs - I never saw their original audition act, that got them through. But soon as they started off, I knew I'd not missed anything, out of time, out of tune, out of fashion, singing 'Teenage Dream' The black wife's red dress was OK though a bit wedding guest, come power meeting speaker & her white hubby looked like he had just got in from from work knackered & took off his tie and undid his shirt to chill out!! Like a bad Karaoke Simon was right to Buzz them, dire!!! It's a resounding NO!! from me!

Act 5 - Follow The Right Path - Two teen male rappers, 13 & 14yrs old, trying to rap about doing the right thing, rather than guns & violence. But alas they did the same rap about their Grandad, which makes them look a one rap pony!!! Sorry boys I appreciate what are trying to do, BUT it's a NO from me!!

Act 6 - Antonio Popeye - The Bulging eyed, fatso, came on in a purple satin shirt, surrounded by show girls with big white feathered fans, to EYE Of The Tiger (How much Cornea could he get??) He sort of moved his eyes to the music, but you'd not of seen without the camera zooming in, which is no use for a Royal Performance where the audience is sat well back from the stage (What were the judges thinking??) 

Then for some reason, the music changed to Billy Idols White Wedding, with lookalikes of Prince William & Kate on a pedestal, then it changed to Jedwards Eurovision Entry with either lookalikes of Jedward, on another pedestal with Antonio wandering around between them! WTF??? It's a bulgy eye act not a look at the lookalikes act!!.... I think his only fans will be the ones he was surrounded by at the top of his excuse for an act!! Rightly he soon had 4 Buzzers!! Antonio it's also a NO!! from me!!

Act 7 - Michael Moral - The Better Looking of the two amazing dancers on tonight's show, the one injecting some sex appeal into his act, my only concern is the fact he is French & has been flown back from France & can hardly speak English, makes me confused how he is British? As the show is called 'Britain's Got Talent' NOT 'Europe's Got Talent!!' But his act was excellent his body is so fluid (Compared to Razy's body movements which are so animated yet rigid!!) 

He certainly has sex appeal, in spite of the fact, his body looks contorted in many of his moves. Again his act was plagued with the cameras Zooming out to a studio shot just it looked like he was about to do an amazing move, which they did right at the end, which was infuriating, even more so when Simon, Micheal & The Hoff all spoke of his weird finish, which thanks to the morons in the studio gallery none of us watching at home saw it, as they got the cameras to zoom out just before he did it!!! Sometimes I feel someone in the gallery has a hidden agenda, to scupper acts they don't want in, by moving the cameras away from the artist, just when they are doing something that could clinch it, on Stage. Well without seeing the odd ending it's a Yes from me!!

Act 8 - Michael Collings - I never got the hype over this chubby gypo boy, I never found anything outstanding in his audition, and tonight though it was nice to see him out of his orange fleece & into his jeans & checked shirt, he sang 'You Do Something To Me' but despite the judges raving over his performance tonight. Sorry Michael you still did nothing for, or to me, it's a No from me!!

Act 9 - Razy Gogonea - An amazingly talented dancer, but still with the same set of Matrix inspired moves, but this time with a much bigger production!! Which fortunately stopped the same Matrix moves becoming stale, and made his jerky moves look even more animated!! That said I would of liked him to have pulled out a few unseen before moves, by him, out of the hat!!! But it's still a Yes from me!!

After tonight's performances my final 3 would be - Razy Gogonea, Marawa & Michael Moral, Though I think the public might put through Micheal Collings, Razy Gogonea & the Celtic Colleens, or Follow The Right Path (to be politically correct!!)
Results Show - final 3 

1 -  Micheal Collings (Expected but just don't get his appeal!!)

2 -  Razy (As Expected!!)

3 -  Pip & Puppy (A amusing surprise, Buddy's cuteness helped!!)

So Razy Gogonea got through - Not surprising as his dancing was excellent!

So it's Michael Collings V Pip & Puppy for the judges to vote through..... Simon I know wanted to put Pip & Puppy through, as he LOVES singing dog acts (No not Sinita!!!) and dog acts in general, but yet he caved in for the 2nd day in a row, and went with the baying audience chanting Michael & chose to save Micheal, as did the rest of the judges. So Micheal is through (I still don't get it!!) & joins Razy & the others in tomorrows final!!........   

Britain's Got Talent's Final, Saturday 4th June

The show begins with Amanda Holden in a very beautiful Ivory  sleeveless, V-neck dress, with 80's padded shoulders, with a black diamante sprinkled, triangular adornment, along the right hand side of V-neckline, which goes over the shoulder & wraps round to her waist, on the left & long dangly earrings, with nice shorter full hair. The Hoff in a White shirt & Black jacket, Michael McIntyre in a White shirt & Black thin tie & jacket, plus Simon in his usual open White shirt, with a Black jacket for a change......... NOT!!

Act 1 - Steven Hall - I think seeing that we all now know Steven Hall stole his original act from a YouTube viral. The most shocking part of his act is that he is only 52!!! In the same old office Telecommunications garb, of white shirt, grey trousers & tie he trotted out the same old routine. I notice he hasn't done the fun quick costume changes of his 1st routine since (Wonder if it's copyrighted by the original person, who's YouTube act, Steven Plagiarised??) Lacking originality, unlike Edward Reid, who he pipped to the post in the semi's. It's a NO from me!!!

Act 2 - Micheal Collings - The singer that does nothing for me teamed the check shirt look of yesterday (with similar one a bit of red in it today) with Navy jeans & Navy Jacket, to sing 'Fast Car' AGAIN. But he still leaves me cold, I am just NOT getting what it seems the judges are feeling about him. It's a NO from me!! 

Act 3 - Les Gibson - A Celeb Master Chef  routine, with Simon Cowell, Louie Walsh, Dermot O'leary, The Hoff, Micheal McIntyre woven in, but not as good as prior routines, it was good, but I feel not good enough, but he will do well from this. Tonight sadly it's a No from me!!

Act 4 - James Hobley - Another perfectly performed mix of expressive dance & ballet, to Coldplay's 'Fix You' very talented worth a top 3. It's a Yes from me!!

Act 5 - Paul Gbegbaje - Brilliant fast playing, an obvious talent, not a piece of music I knew, but then I discovered it was his own piece, very good, but again he's the Royal Variety Act I'd make the coffee to, or take a loo break to with the TV volume turned up. It's an, your excellent, plus talented, but it's a No from me!!

Act 6 - Ronan Parke - The Bieber looking cutie sang 'Because Of You' A somewhat shaky nervous start, but he pulled it back! Cute factor will help, I don't think he is the best act, but he is damn good. It's a Yes from me.

Act 7 - Jean Martyn - Yet another dated gaudy sequined jacket, yet another dated medley, a game old bird, but dated. It's a No from me!!!

Act 8 - Jai McDowell - Not a song I know, but sang with real passion, I think he may of lost himself quite a few votes, by singing a song that many (like me) wont know!! But for likability & Passion alone, it's a Yes from me!

Act 9 - Razy Gogonea - Same dance moves ,in a different order, Matrix music swapped for different music, dressed all in White, instead of, all in Black, Fire Poi thrown in at end for an attempt to look different, but is more suited to Girls Roc, or Circus Of Horrors act, than to what is billed as a dance act. Sorry Razy that's lost you points. It's a NO from me!

Act 10 - New Bounce -  Cute Kid with Afro is the young MJ of the group, sang 'Ain't No Sunshine' well, not blown away, but they will do well, the kid who was flat before upped his game. It's a unexcited Yes from me. 

After tonight's performances my top 3 would be - Ronan Parke, James Hobley & Jai McDowall, My top 2 Ronan & Jai McDowall. Jai to win!

But I think the top 3 the public will vote for is - Ronan Parke, Jai McDowall & New Bounce, The top 2 being Ronan Park & New Bounce, Ronan to win! Tho I think out of that 3 it should be Jai & Ronan in top 2 & Jai to win!

Final Results Show - Top 3

After tonight's rather lack lustre final, where I was disappointed that the acts didn't pull more out of the bag to win! I don't really give a toss one way or the other who wins (As long as it isn't Steve or Jean) It would of been much improved with Edward Reid in the final instead of Steven Hall, he would of brought true originality & I'd love to see what he would of pulled out the bag tonight!!! But Alas it was not to be, Edward was Robbed!!

1st the runners up in reverse order from 10 - 4

10 - Jean Martyn - No Surprise

9 - Les Gibson - His judges gamble didn't pay off

8 - James Hobley - Shame, but not a huge surprise

7- Steve Hall - Knew he'd not make the top three

6 - Paul Gbegbaje - Not a surprised, talented, but not a visual feast

5 - Michael Collings - Obviously the public felt like me re Micheal

4 - Razy Gogonea - Changing just outfit & music is not enough!

Now the top 3

OMG the top 3, Are the top 3, I said the public would put through!!

1- New Bounce - OMG out of the public's choice I said 3rd

2 - Ronan Park - SHIT I said I'd put 2nd out of pulic top 3 choice

3 - Jai McDowell - Damn I should of placed bet, I got top 3 & in the exact order!!

And The Winner Is - Jai McDowell


  1. Hiya

    I love your blog and wondered if you'd be able to help me with an article I'm writing. It’s about faghags in the UK

    I wondered if you'd be interested in chatting about it, with the possibility of being in the article? There's a cocktail in it for you!

    Many thanks :-):-)


  2. Oh, and my email is


  3. Thanks I am glad you like & as you asked so charmingly how can I say no!!