I had a wash & washed & dried my hair, then twisted it up into a French pleat, I did a light make-up, then Bob text me, to say he had been chosen for the Endimol pilot of the new show 'Is It Just Me' too, so he'd see me Wednesday. (I'm The Cougar & He's The Cockney Geezer!) lol typecast much???....
I dressed in 3/4 dark grey gym trousers, with white side stripe, black/white TrimSoles, light grey, V-neck long sleeved Petite Bateau T-shirt & white body warmer, then popped out for my 2hr walk round the park (in nice weather for a change!) I got chatting to a quite hunky, tall, rugby type, South African, with a cute Springer Spaniel, that was all over me (Which was how conversation started) I got home & Put a black wash in the machine, then made myself a veggie burger with 2 Quorn burgers & some salad in a bun & then headed off to Iceland & got £25 worth of shopping, with £25 of vouchers, as my fridge & freezer was empty, that should last me 1-2weeks (depending on hunger pangs!!)
Gretchen & Vicky (Me?)
Jeana (Candie?)I watched 'Come Dine With Me' I thought this was a new series, but you can tell this is shot on cheaper film, the whole look is different, as is the picture quality & lighting. So this must be an old series. I filled in my Census Form, I was expecting loads of questions & in total it asked less than half as much, as a housing benefit form! And why they want to know, if anyone will be visiting you on March 27th I don't know? What if you say NO & then somebody pops round on the 27th unexpectedly (Most odd!!) I watched 'Home & Away' and had a snack of salt & vinegar crisps, plus a Diet Coke. Then I began writing, last weeks blog (As thanks to my darling brother, after originally getting up to date with my blogs. I was too upset & in too much pain, from a stress induced migraine, to write last weeks) I watched the soaps, then 'How To Live With Women' followed by a double bill of, the brilliant 'The Event' really glad it's back I love my sci fi. Then I read the paper.
I'm Not Sure about Warwick
But Liverpool Has Some Stunner's!!
More on useless New Labours money wasting contracts, this time £17,000 spent last year on watering NHS HQ's pot plants, that works out as £140 per a pot plant (Madness) if the office workers can't water them themselves, then remove the pot plants from the offices. The over priced contract, was negated by surprise, surprise New Labour. I watched the Final of the 'American Apprentice' then had some fun, chatting on Twitter with @ClareAtCan (A spoof of Claire at CAN Associates) & then went to sleep (Calories consumed 1,576)
Tuesday 15th March, I dreamt that, I had moved into a house with big, roomy rooms, the kitchen was very large & the big kitchen table had left over food on it, from former tenants, pizzas etc... People who seemed to be helping me move in, were picking at it. So I threw it away to stop them, as I'd seen flies landing on it. But I kept food that was in the freezer and still fresh, the house was in London & I thought, 'Wow I'm back in London again, that's going to make auditions & getting a job easier!!' I had 2 Irish Wolfhound dogs and some other dogs (Can't recall their breed) and a cat which was very affectionate to the dogs, washing their faces. I also had a donkey & rode it up and down the road, that I lived on briefly (God only knows what that is all about!!) Woke at 9.30am in a lot of pain due to neck, shoulders & back problems. I have yet another Acupuncture session at 5pm, I hope this has some affect it's not had any recently.
It's another bright day out, I put a green/blue wash in the machine, had a wash, put on some make-up then headed to the shop for some milk & a paper & then had some Alpen for breakfast. I watched 'Loose Women' took the blue/green wash out of the machine & hung it up to dry & put in a black wash. Did a job search Nothing New that I'm suitable for today, so I checked the New Auditions on StarNow, and I applied for 11 New ones. Then I watched 'The Real Housewives Of Orange County' (I love ALL the Real Housewives Shows!) Other than jealousy I still don't know why, the other housewives are so unpleasant, to the lovely housewife Gretchen? She is lovely, she's my favourite & they really give her a hard time! Her Blog can be found on my Blog List, to the right!! ------->
The Lovely Gretchen
My Friend Simon & I In Piccadilly Circus
Then I made dinner, a marinated, grilled, Quorn fillet, with green salad, 6 cherry tomatoes, 4 pickled onions & a small packet of McCoy's cheese & onion crisps, followed by an apple. I did the washing up, then watched 'EastEnders' (Depressing as always) then 'Lion Country' (Brilliant as always) I chatted a bit online, then I watched 'Lilly Allen: From Riches to Rags' Quite ironic as the weekend before last, when my brother had badly upset me, I got it out of my system, by singing her song 'Fuck You' (Click on title to hear song, with music video) Singing it on repeat, on the top of my lungs, definitely helped!!......
It was Very Cold again today! So I went in 'Winter Cougar' attire as opposed to 'Summer Cougar' attire (Slinky dress & heels) So it was the peacock green, Jane Norman, jersey/satin blouse, over black studded leggings, under long black boots, with my aqua Jacques Vert jacket, on top, with diamanté jewellery. Packed my Moschino shopper, with The Sun paper, to read on the journey, 2 Diet Cokes & a couple of packet of crisps (In case I got hungry & thirsty out!) Plus my electric blue, pashmina, just in case I'm still not warm enough!
My friend Kathryn (Check out her Beauty Lovers site on my blog list, to the right of this blog) Said, that there was a whole bit on a Sheffield woman, who has trailed 'Satura Pro' with one of the TV Execs at ITV (Like I'm doing) with amazing results, on 'This Morning' around 11.30am today. But that was too late for me, to be able to watch & ensure I got to my filming of the 'Is It Just Me' Pilot on time, at 2pm. Despite how vile my brother was to me, the other weekend, I still text him to say, to 'Watch This Morning at 11.30am if at home & possible, as there was a product I'm trialling on there, that may be very useful to you & is available via a local Sheffield woman on there!' Of course he didn't reply & I have no idea if he watched or not? But at least I know, that I wasn't petty & at least, tried to show him something, that could be of use to him, whether he chose to watch it or not! I made myself a veggie sausage & boiled egg sandwich, before I set off, as I didn't know when I'd next get to eat, probably 6 or 7pm if I'm lucky?
I set off at 11am, in my long black coat, drawing out £20 from the ATM to pay the £15 travel fare with, at the station. I got a receipt for the 1-6 Zones Travel Card, part of my journey, to be reimbursed by Endimol. I caught the 1st London train, a stopping one, reading the paper en route. I arrived at Kings Cross & then I got the Hammersmith & City line, to Edgeware Road & walked the long route down the Edgeware Road, then up Frampton Street, right down Capland Street, then on to Gateforth Street, to The Cockpit Theatre. I got there bang on 1.50pm & was given my release form to sign. Moments later Bob called me on my mobile, I said I had just arrived & he said he was just parking up, and did I want him to find a coffee shop & bring me a coffee? (Bob's such a gentleman, the sweetheart!) I said no need there was a coffee bar, just off the foyer, in the Cockpit Theatre. He said he'd see me in a tick, I said I was just popping to the ladies & I'd see him in the foyer.
The Cockpit Theatre Coffee/Bar Area
I exited the ladies, to see Bob filling in his release form, then we retired to the foyer bar area & Bob bought us both a coffee, and a double brandy chaser, to warm us up! We were chatting for a bit, when we saw the petite (About 4ft 10") American woman, we'd met, when we did the filming of the tour of Essex, with Jack Whitehall & Denise Van Outen. She was sat opposite waving & she joined us at the bar. We'd found out from her last time, that she use to pole dance in a club in Vegas & that her dad was a Mafia, Hotel or Club owner, in Vegas & that she fled to the UK, after a Mobster attempt on her life (We have yet to discover why!?) Where she'd got shot (She'd have a fascinating Biography if she writes one) She has fake boobs & said she was planning more work soon. While chatting in the Foyer Bar, we further discovered she was actually a well known USA 'Porn Star' (That news perked Bob up lol) She was telling us about working with US Porn Star, Ron Jeremy & was showing us clips on her phone!! She got Bob & I to pose for a pic with her (She is tiny) & we looked like giant minders either side of her! She said she would add us on Facebook & tag us in the picture.
The Cougar, Boob Job & Cockney Bob
The foyer was really filling up & I was feeling quite hot & sweaty, when eventually, our bunch of 50 were called. Again I am not going to give you more than scant details of what Endimol's show 'Is It Just Me?' is about. Even though there was some mention of it in Sundays NOTW (Despite it not being commissioned, as of yet!!) So as not to spoil it for you, when it's commissioned & is shown on Ch4 (Which after what I saw today, I am most certain it will be, as it was bloody hilarious!... I haven't laughed so hard in ages!!) I will tell you the host is, as of the moment, Comedian Rhod Gilbert, best known for his stand up on subjects such as 'Bedding' (Which you can view Here) or a 'Torch With The Power of A Million Candles' (Which you can view Here) Who is very funny & was suffering with a bad cold, so had a Vick's inhaler up his nose, a lot!!
Next to him is a panel of 4 comedians/quirky celebs. Then there is a wall of the 50 (This is where Bob, The Porn Star & I came in) Think of BBC1's 'Test The Nation' a wall of typecast/pigeon holed public, except instead of being a group of type, like in 'Test The Nation' the 50 are an assortment, such as (Essex girl, Boob Job, Cockney Bob, Cheeky Chappie, Yummy Mummy, Just some Bloke, Computer Geek, Life Coach, Gym Bunny, Cougar etc) The wizard guy, that was on 'Take Me Out' on the Saturday I was upset by my brother, was one of the 50 too! Then there is also a studio audience.
When we (The 50) were called upstairs en mass, we were given the run down, of the pilot run through. And given out badges, 'Cougar' for me, 'Cockney Bob' for Bob, 'Yummy Mummy' for 'OMG cougar' Ruth (Who was also there) & oddly 'Boob Job' for our Porn friend, rather than Porn Star!? We had just 5mins to pee, before we went into studio. So I quickly popped down to the ladies in the foyer. Through a group of people that were to be the audience. A group of young guys (Late teens to mid 20's) let out an amused murmur, amid the word cougar, with a giggle, after obviously clocking, my Very Large Badge. Back in the holding area the 'Cheeky Chappie' said to Jay "Are we going to be sat in coordinating groups? like The Cheeky Chappie & The Cougar?" Giving me a sideways glance & a raised eyebrow, causing all of us to burst out laughing! Then we headed down to the studio.
Bob, the Porn Star (Forget her name) & I were sat at the front, of one of 'The 50's' sections, that faced the comedians/celebs & the audience. Each of 'The 50' also had a handset with a Yes or No button, plus a Red & a Green card, the celeb/comedian panel had a Yes & No handset too, plus a light in front of each that could go either Red or Green (But to know why, you will just have to wait for that show to come out!)
Today's Comedy/Celeb panel was an inspired mix, Comedian Jarred Christmas, Comedian Holly Walsh, Actor/Presenter Joe Swash & Funny Presenter/DJ Iain Lee.
The warm up guy interacted with me, the Porn Star & some of the audience & we had some banter, at one point he asked me "As a Cougar what do you do, to attract a younger guy?" I replied "Watch ITV2 at 9pm tonight & you will find out!!" He pulled out a young lad of about 21-23yrs, with a student like bum fluffish beard, saying how about him? (I think he may of been one of the young group of guys in the foyer, when I went to the ladies) I said "He's quite cute, but I don't like beards!!.... but I guess I could straddle him & shave it off!" The warm up guy said "That sounds like a Rapist not Cougar!" I smirked & then waggled my right palm, side to side & joked "Hmmm the the two are quite close at times!!"
The Show started & so now, I can't tell you much, except, it was hilarious. I haven't laughed so much in ages, Jarred Christmas did something, that involved a video tape & a flashers Mac, Holly Walsh did something very unpleasant, orally with Rhod, Joe messed about with a young boy & Iain told his old work mate of 12+ years, something shocking over the phone! That was quite uncomfortable to watch & I was (& still am) in two minds about whether it was real or not? But what I will say is, if he was faking, he has a 3rd career in acting looming, as his reaction & tentativeness, to person on phone, his interaction with Rhod during & also interaction with fellow panel after, was very convincing!!
I can also say Joe was very intrigued by the Porn Star & I (Both re our boobs & as to whether we worked together!! Once he knew that she was a Porn Star, when she told him) He even said to the Porn Star, Bob & I "Are you 3 together & can I join in!!?" He was also intrigued 'Surprise, Surprise' by 'Pretty Girl' & 'Essex Girl'. Iain Lee also interacted with us a bit & one of 'The 50' (The Welsh Guy) said I was abnormal being a Veggie, and seconds later as the convo moved on. I kicked myself for not saying to The Welsh Guy "Well you don't expect me to eat Lamb, after you Welsh buggers have been shagging it do you??" (Damn it coming to me, seconds too late) There is also a 3 person, story choice, with the chance for them to win 50grand. Plus The 50 will be a permanent weekly panel. More than that I can't tell you, or it will spoil the novelty of a brand new show for you, but its good ohhh so good!!
We wrapped at about 5-5.30pm & Bob rushed to his car to check the metre hadn't expired & I rushed to get my coat & bag, ready to collect my £8 towards expenses. Bob came back in as he still had 5mins left & we got chatting to funny, but charming, Iain Lee. Though at one point he said to me "Sorry but I can't help staring at your breasts!" Which wasn't his fault, as in 'Cougar' attire they were pretty apparent & Iain is so tall that, looking down to talk to me (Despite me being, a tall girl myself) The Girls couldn't help but be in his eye line!! Bob & I looked for the 'Porn Star' to get her Facebook name to add her & get pics she took. But she'd vanished.
Yo Rip OffWe chatted for a bit & I told him how funny 'Is It Just Me?' was, then when he'd finished eating, we headed off to Ku Bar for a drink (1pnt Cider) & then onto The Retro Bar (Another Pint of Cider) where another guy said, that I reminded him of Catherine Tate (Yet again!!) Does a look alike career loom? The bar was pretty packed for a Wednesday & we sat on stools, at a kind of DJ area & it looked like I was sat behind a bar & Ian took a picture.
Ian & I chatted to the barman for a bit, then at around 9.30-10pm Ian Jumped on his night-bus & I got my tube to Kings Cross & then my train home & managed to get home in time, to catch myself on OMG on ITV2+1 & cringed when the 'world peace' line was left in, the camera was also shooting from below, when I was stood on the stage (Not the most flattering of, up the nostrils angles!!) But I was reasonably amusing, plus got the most camera & talk time of the cougars & name checked, so might get something out of it.
Thursday 17th March, woke at 8.30am, had a odd dream, where I had moved home again, to a big house. I was out somewhere with my late Mother & my Brother and they said "wait there a sec" & then went off somewhere. I was stood for ages alone & it got cold & began to snow on me, in the end I went into an entrance to shelter & keep warm thinking 'They know my mobile number, if they need to find me!' But when I stepped inside, I discovered it was a shopping mall & as I wandered around, I saw my mum & brother sat in a cafe, in the mall, drinking coffee & eating cake, laughing, surrounded by bags of shopping. I was stunned & thought 'How could they say wait a minute, then go off shopping & having coffee & cake knowing they have, left me out in the cold? How could they just abandon me like that?' I couldn't believe my mum of all people would do such a thing, it was so not her!... I got up had a wash, I got on the scales, I have gained 1 1/2lb (That will be all the bread & crisps yesterday!)
Had lunch of 2 marinated Quorn cutlets (Cooked then allowed to go cold) with a green salad, 4 cherry tomatoes, 4 pickled onions & some coleslaw. With a mini pack of cheese & onion crisps on the side. Did the Washing up then hoovered the lounge. Then I had to re organise, the back room, after it got messed up a bit after searching through things, to get to my Hat Box, for my photo shoot with Automatic Weapons, for Award winning photographer, Philip Gatward, last week. That was fun, but boy are those Automatic Weapons heavy!! Pic Below
My Manager @ClareAtCan
She's Gonna Make Me A Big Fat Star!!
Then I chatted for a bit on Twitter, @ClareAtCan & I had a bit of rapport going & It was now playing out that, I was her new client & I'd received the Contract on KFC scented paper, which I signed in Mayo & Mustard. Which I sent back to her in a Kebab envelope, in a cab, along with the deep fried contents of my fridge (Including the deep fried fridge itself) as stipulated, in the said contract. In return, I was sent a crack pipe & a self harm manual & told to be in an abusive relationship by Mon, for the paps on Tues lol. Eventually went to bed, to sleep at 1.30am (Calories consumed 1,376)
Friday 18th March, I had a dream about living in some house, and my mum & dad were there, and it was my birthday & I accidentally found my present mum & dad had got me, it was a kit to make about 10 pairs of ugly lace gloves (By hand) that you then sell, to raise money for charity. I was a bit disappointed, but said nothing. I went out with mum down the high street & I was talking to mum about looking for work & we stood still a moment, I was saying, how it was really hard, to get a interview for a beauty retail job, at the moment, despite being highly qualified for one & I said I really needed to get a job with a large Dept Store, as they paid better than smaller chemists like 'Boots' & 'Superdrug' As I said that, a guy behind me said "That's a shame I was about to offer you a job" I turned round to see, that we were stood outside of 'Boots' & the MD was behind us... oops!! I quickly said "No don't go, wait, I want a job what is it? I can start straight away!!" I went into the store with him, but by the time I woke at 8.30am I still had no clue as to, what the job was to be, or the wages!
Got up & had a Golden Syrup, Oat So Simple, for breakfast and did the laundry (A black wash) made a coffee & popped to the shop for a paper (Still no news of the death of the Crossbow Cannibal yet, sadly) I watched a bit of morning TV, while doing my job searches & applying for jobs & also for auditions. Then once I'd done that, I re manoeuvred, my large cheese plant, in the living room & tied up some of the leaves, as to not hang over the sofa & watered my plants. My Orchid has at least 8 flowers on it at the moment. Then I fixed lunch, a roasted Quorn steak, with sun dried tomatoes stuffed with feta, 4 pickled onions & some coleslaw, with some salted crisps on the side, washed down with a Decaf Diet Coke.
From his Pics I would imagine he works in a bar, or club, or as a doorman. When I asked him what he did, he said he worked with disabled kids, but when I talked of an incident, I had while working with disabled kids, he never told me any 'working with kids story's' back, which made me suspect it was Bull Shit & only said to make him seem caring & deep! Anyway at some point, later in the evening, when bored, I decided to click on his profile & have another look, to suss him out & it was set to private again, as he'd deleted me as a friend, WTF?? I tweeted 'Why would someone beg for an add & then a few hrs delete you?' The common consensus among the guys who responded to my tweet was, that he was a 'Wank Bank' collector.....
Apparently, these guys get you to add them, then they trawl through your pics, copying all those they consider wanking material, then if they get that your not the kind of girl, who is going to flirt back with them & get dirty online, maybe even have webcam sex, they delete you, as they have what they need for their next Wank!! How Fucking Sad!! Well he did ask 'What would you do to me, if i had been in the OMG audience, when you was on there as a cougar?' I said 'The same as I did to all the other cubs..... NOTHING!.... it was just a set up bit of fun! I was not remotely interested in anyone!' Guess that meant he knew that, other than his stolen Wank Bank, he was going to get bugger all else from me it seems! Saddo!
Hung out black wash to dry & put a white wash in, watched 'Home & Away' then made dinner, a Tuna steak grilled with coleslaw, pickled onions & salad with some cheese & onion crisps. Its 'Comic Relief' on BBC1 from 7pm to 2.35am, which I will be avoiding, as it's never funny & no doubt James Corden will be on, doing some self indulgent 'Smithy' shit sketch, which will just irk me! While his sycophantical tongue, is so far up celebs arses, he can lick their larynx. So instead I opted for 'Corrie' & perving over Pierce Brosnan in 'Die another Day' while writing last weeks blog. I had a coffee, then went off to bed at 1am, my neck & shoulders have been less painful since my last, quite sever, acupuncture session, lets hope it gets better after my one next week! (Calories consumed 1,775)
Saturday 19th March, woke at 9.45am if I dreamt I can't recall it, got up & had a wash, then had some Oat So Simple for breakfast, plus a coffee to start the day with. Wore Dark jeggings & my over-sized, Grecian like, draped top, massaged the Satura into my scalp & pulled hair back in a high tight pony tail!
In My Baggy Grecian Style Top
Popped to the shop & got a paper & a couple of decaf Diet Cokes. Then put a green/blue/lilac wash in the machine, before going on line to check my emails, Facebook & Twitter & then did my job/audition searches & applications. I had a surprise when I went into my Facebook messages, as I received one from a stranger (Lets call him *John) saying....
I hope you don't mind me messaging - I just wanted to say hi, that and that I thought you were great at Rhod Gilbert's panel show - you were definitely a highlight of the afternoon.Well, I took your recommendation and watched OMG (hence finding you on here), what an excruciatingly terrible hostess Peaches is!
Anyway, I hope you are well.
Which really surprised me, yet impressed me at the same time, he tracked me down quick a career in MI5 & MI6 looms!! We chatted for a bit & he seemed refreshingly normal (Most 'But not all' of those who contact me, after seeing me on TV, are a bit odd!!) We chatted for a bit & he said if he was ever down London way he'd give me a shout, & If I was ever near/in Leicester to come say hi, I said will do, we chatted a bit & he said "Come to think of it how near Reading was I?" Adding he was working there Wednesday & we could meet up for a drink, if I fancied it? I said I'd check to see if there were buses that go there, from here. Once I'd discovered it was 35miles away, it would also depend on the bus fare & my finances too, as I'm broke still, we continued talking throughout the day.
I know he was definitely at 'Is It Just Me' pilot as he spoke of things only someone there would know (& I'd not posted this blog) Yet his profile pic was so familiar, like I'd seen it before, but we don't seem to have any mutual friends Odd? I then did some online surveys. Mikes sink has sold on eBay, so once the money has gone into my paypal account & then into my bank, I'll pay him the money!
I had a cheese & coleslaw sandwich, with some Twiglets & a Diet Coke for lunch, then I cleared more crap off my courtyard, that had amassed over night. I found I had a message on StarNow from a film company, wanting to know if I can come for an audition in Feltham Tuesday? For a main role NOT an extra, that will film April-May for £120 a day? The Character they want me to audition for is Cleopatra, I really can't afford the £15 fare, especially as I need to come into London for the premier of 'Losing It' (Which I'm in) & to meet the backers who, will be backing the other film, 'The Fortune Teller' which Angus sent me a script for (For me to play Felicity)
But can I really afford to not go? when I could get the part & earn some money (As they approached me, not vice versa, so obviously they liked what they saw, from my clips on my StarNow profile) I will have to go to Library tomorrow & print off my script & learn it if I decide to do it. I'm going to think on it over the afternoon, it's a long way to go & I have a much needed acupuncture appointment at 5pm hmmmm, but they obviously saw something in me to contact me!? I definitely need the money too! As well as the satisfaction of having a job!
I put the situation out there, for my friends on Facebook & Twitter & they said to go for it, as there is a chance I might get it & I'd be kicking myself, if I didn't at least try. I watched 'Dancing On Ice' while writing my critique on it (You can read that HERE) Then during the break, before the results show, I made a King Prawn & lentil salad, with some coleslaw on the side, and made myself a coffee. Then watched 'Duran Duran: One Night Only' & then the 'Dancing on Ice Results Show'
Amy Gives 'Bunny' Chloe A Spray Tan - TOWIE
Finally finished last weeks blog & posted it chatted a bit on Twitter & Facebook, then read some of my Marilyn Monroe book, I finally decided I'd go to audition Tuesday, in the end, so emailed them back & got a 3.20pm time slot. I will print off my lines to learn tomorrow, chatted some more to *John on Facebook, I said we'd chatted so much we might as well be Facebook friends, he agreed & so I sent him a friend request. It looks like a busy week next week. If I don't get expenses for travelling to my film audition, I may not be able to meet *John in Reading. Went to bed at 3am (Calories consumed 1,839)