Saturday, 9 April 2011

I'm Nobodys April Fool

Monday 28th March, Woke at 9am, I can't recall any dream. The weather is bright but cold today, so I dressed in my black wet look leggings, my camel cashmere polo neck, my black flat knee length boots, my black sleeveless body warmer, black gloves & then I straightened my hair into a long bob. I quickly checked my Hotmail & Facebook messages. Nigel had left a lot of comments on my wall, plus he also asked  me to go on IM, I said 'I don't use IM' (because as soon as I turn it on, about 10+ widows pop up, wanting to chat & if I'm online, I'm online to work on Blog or do job applications, not to chit chat drivel) If I want to chat I can go on Twitter & banter, popping on & off when I have a moment (coffee break etc) & I can still catch up, without being on it all the time. He said to go on as he had some information he needed to give me, I said 'I didn't have time now I have to go out now, either inbox me it (Don't know why the fuck it has to be on IM, why cant he put it in my inbox???) Or I'll be free around 3.40pm'.

I put my Bank Cards & Argos vouchers, in the inside pocket of my body warmer, along with a page torn from the Argos Mothers Day special offers pamphlet (offers available until 3rd April) Which included a pail pink Hitachi digital camera (above) that's selling temporarily at half price (£59.99 instead of £119.99) up until April 3rd. I decided that as I had some Argos Credit & £35 of Argos Vouchers, I'd get the camera, as I have been lost without a camera. Mine got broken at the filming of 'Houseparty Of The Dead 6' back in July & there has been many an occasion I would of liked to have been able to take photos to capture, but couldn't since it's been broke. 

Did 100 squats, with my Swiss Ball against the wall, before heading off for my 2hr walk in park. My neck and shoulders are still in a lot of pain. My stupid trainer socks slid down inside my boots & I got blisters on both of my heels, bloody hell my neck & heels are conspiring to keep me out of the gym! I went to Boots & got some Scholl blister plasters, as other makes are shite!!! Then popped into mums old bank, to draw some money out of the ATM to put towards paying my Feb rent (I'm still a month behind & trying to catch up!!) 

Then I went into Argos, with my £30 of Argos vouchers & credit note & got my girlie baby pink camera. Then popped into my fave local Cafe J K Palmers, for a cheese & bean loaded jacket potato & a cappuccino yummmmmm!! 'J K Palmers' is one of my 2 favourite local cafe's/restaurants & out of the two, it certainly has the most efficient & friendly staff, especially the lovely little blond waitress, who I think is either Polish or Czech? The food is always fresh & tasty & comes in large portions, some times I have to regrettably leave some, as I'm full. If your in St Albans & need to grab a bite I wholeheartedly recommend them (They have a take-away service too) You can find them in the centre of town, by the 'Clock Tower'

I got in just in time to chill & watch 'The Real Housewives Of Orange County' which finished at 4.40pm so after I checked my Facebook. There was NO inbox from Nigel, telling me about whatever this info was, that was so urgent, that I needed to pop on to IM for it? So reluctantly I turned on my Facebook IM & up popped Nigel. So what was so urgent & couldn't be inboxed? Some info on some paid extra work available, that I'd be suitable for? Had he recommended me for a job to someone, was there a agency local to me that were recruiting for new actors/extras?? ......

NO!!! He got me on IM just to say he'd forgotten to get my mobile number off me Saturday & to give me his!! OFFS!!! He could of inboxed me that & then now I wouldn't have to be typing into loads of IM boxes 'Sorry I can't talk I'm busy' I typed 'You could inboxed me that, no need for IM!!'  He replied with some bollocks about not feeling that inboxes are safe, FFS from what hackers?? If they could hack into his inbox they could hack into his settings, which has his phone number in anyway!!... Or he could of inboxed me for mine & then text me his, if he is so paranoid about people hacking him for his number (odd!!) Or does he have a girlfriend that knows his password & is he worried she might not like him swapping numbers? What does it matter if we are workmates & she'd be able to see postings on my wall from him anyway & he is not worried about posting loads of them!! (most odd) Got off IM asap!! Before more bloody windows wanting to chit chat, opened up!

Did a load of job searches & audition searches then did some more work on my blog, Nigel text me at 5.28pm saying 'just saying hello x'  I guess he is just checking my number works, I didn't reply. I'm very low on credit, I think I only have 1-3 texts left & I'm saving for emergency, or vital texts only. Not idle chit chat. I stopped writing blog to watch 'Home & Away' then feeling peckish, but not hungry (Thanks to my jacket potato earlier) I had some Alpen & watched the soaps. Then I watched 'Glee' while writing blog & intermittent chat on Twitter/Facebook. 

I phoned a local Canon Camera repairer earlier asking how much it would cost to fix my Cannon Camera? He said if it's lens isn't damaged £30 if it is about £100, he said it probably would be best if I tried pushing in the stuck out end myself, I said I was frightened of making it worse he said I couldn't really do any more damage than had been done already. So I did what he said & it went in & seemed OK (don't say I got a new camera for nothing I thought!!) But after the camera initially going to work, when I turned it off & on again the camera lens went to come out, but couldn't fully, damn so it was still unusable, but I think it is a £30 not £100 job!

The Event 

Later I watched the brilliant 'The Event' & had a coffee (decaf) & a chunky KitKat, then I opened my new camera put in the batteries, pretty self explanatory how to work it, didn't need the instructions. My memory card from my other camera annoyingly doesn't fit in it, so I am going to have to buy one from Jessops, apparently it does have some memory without one though. I went to bed at 12.20am as I was in so much pain with my neck & shoulders that I was feeling physically sick!! (Calories consumed 1,605)

Tuesday 29th March,  I  was in so much pain I didn't fall asleep until some time after 6am, with the start of a migraine looming, so I was less than happy, when less than 3hrs later, I was woken up again, by a text from Nigel at 8.52am!! FFS!! He obviously paid NO Attention when I said on Saturday 'I am not a morning person & that I HATE being woken in the morning, unless I HAVE to be up for something/work!!'  I didn't read it, or it would make getting back to sleep even harder & my head was already pounding & my eyes hurting with my impending migraine anyway! Eventually I fell asleep again, some time around 9.30am & slept until 11.15am. I woke with a migraine, as expected, so I downed a load of pain killers & lay in bed waiting for the pain to subside until 12.30pm. 

I had some Alpen for breakfast & then slobbed around in my turquoise velour lounge suit & white vest top, in too much pain for the gym. So did some stretches, holding Swiss Ball over my head to try and ease out the pain in my neck & shoulders, but had to stop as the pain was making me feel sick, read text Nigel had sent me at 8.52am it said 'Had a Grand night @ me Spiritual Class last nite. Have to talk to u more about it xx' OK he is into spiritualism like me, which is quite interesting, but he could of text me that later, or just told me on Facebook.

I popped to the shop for a Newspaper & was reading it when Nigel called at 1.36pm. I thought he no doubt wants to tell me all about his great night at his Spiritual Class, so I said 'Hi so you had a great spiritualist meeting last night then?' Expecting him to wax lyrical about some family member coming through, or some message from beyond the grave, about his career, or love life, or whatever! He replied 'Yeah, saw on your wall your into that too' I was expecting him to then elaborate, on this amazing night. The one that was so great he had to text me about it before 9am!....

But instead it was like pulling teeth.... So I spoke about how, my friend Julie Robinson, helps trapped spirits pass over & talked a bit about Redbourn's Spiritualist Church, but getting anything out of him, was really tough going, which meant that by the time he had said 'Well I'd better let you go' and rang off. I knew no more about this 'Great Spiritualist Evening', than I did when, he 1st text me this morning!! Which left me wondering what the point of the call was, if not to tell me all about his great night?? Moments later at 1.46pm he text me saying 'Grand talking to ya beautiful. Love ur profile pic BTW xx' I thought really? How was it grand? You hardly said anything, I had to ramble on to fill the awkward silence!

I had a Egg Mayo sandwich & some Twigets for lunch with a Diet Coke. Read some more of the paper, then checked, my Hotmail, Twitter & Facebook messages. Once my head wasn't thumping, quite as much, as it had been! When I went on Facebook I found I had a 21yr old fan, when a lad called *Leo inboxed me saying....  'Hi, were you the woman on John Bishop? the singer? got told you are....' I replied 'Yes I am ...why?' He replied back with 'My friend said 'did you see John Bishops programme? there's a stunner of a woman!' lol soo had to see for myself! lol and he's not wrong!! lol' We chatted for some time about this & that & he was often very complementary & charming and at no point crude, vulgar or crass!! Which was a nice change from what I often find in my inbox, I can tell you! Though I had to giggle at some comments like......

'You would be a dream to most guys!!' & ' OK...that is a lie lol you must have unbelievable amount of guy attention lol you already have mine!! lol haha' & 'That's fair enough, and without sounding bad....can you blame them? your so hot, guys would love to have a night with you, buttttttt, if they aren't stupid and petty, they would realise a relationship with you would be a hell of alot better!!'  & 'lol im just being honest! lol but its nice talking to you, didn't think you would even reply to be honest! lol' & 'Ooo very nice! :) well I guess ill leave you to it, I dnt wana overstay my welcome lol was lucky for you to reply in the first place x' & 'I will lol I hope to meet a woman just like yourself one day :) that would be amazing :) you sucha nice person, real kind, real pretty, your next bf will be very lucky!'

And then there's  'Wow! lol bit of a shock to me lol well, im not like most guys, im not gonna sit here and try and chat you up, flirt, just to go out with you, just to sleep with you, im not like any of that, im more than happy with you talking to me! i love women older than me, because i can have real chats with them, its fun, unlike talking to silly dumb little girls my age, im glad im speaking to you, and in the future, a drink or dinner would be amazing...x' & finally 'hmmm yeah i get that, alot of guys think older women would LOVE a toyboy, and thats why they try it on with them, ill be straight up and honest and say, a weekend away with you (think you can guess what that involves) would be AMAZING! because your lovely and stunning, but to be honest, im not really like that, having a friendship with a woman (when you actually never know what could end up happening) is much much much better than having a one time fling (even though it may be amazing) x'  Bless him anyone would think I'm something special, not just ordinary little ole me (I've still got it!!.... never lost it lol) But being serious, it's nice to know there are still some courteous 21yr olds out there (especially with all the scum youth of today, that you see on the streets & In the papers) & I now know who to talk to, when I'm feeling low, or having a fat minger day, for an instant ego boost lol!! 

Its very cold today, unlike recently, so I'm feeling rough, I stayed at home with the heating on full bast, & read Closer Magazine. There was a pic of a naked David Van Day, with his wife, copying a Yoko Ono & John Lennon pose, which made me laugh & think of Candie, who still has a thing for DVD himself lol. I Read the paper, news on angry mobs attacking the van carrying Sian O'Callaghans killer as he was taken before magistrates yesterday. Meanwhile arseholes masquerading as Top Court Judges want leniency for 'small time' dealers with £2,000 of the drug or less, MADNESS!!.

Did some dusting & washed down tiles in kitchen & bathroom, then watched 'Home & Away' before making a grilled tuna steak for dinner with some salad, then I watched 'Supersize V Superskinny' 'Katie: My Beautiful Friends' & 'Lilly Allen: From Riches To Rags' then CSI & CSI NY before making a coffee & having a chunky KitKat before crashing out for the night! (Calories consumed 1,469)

Wednesday 30th March, Woke at 10am to a cold grey day with the rain lashing my window, I dreamt about being back in my old house in Warninglid West Sussex, swimming in the pond in front of my house, but realised I had a crocodile shadowing me behind me, I must of got out but I don't recall doing so, then I was back working in retail again & there was something to do with my parents, then I was in Turkey & I was fixing food for my sister Julie & husband Erdal but I wasn't able to have any myself for some reason. 

  In My Bikini Top, By Pond Outside My House
Warninglid West Sussex

I really ache today, but I think it is down to the rainy weather, more than anything else. I'm not going to let it stop me starting at the gym tomorrow! Had some sugar free Alpen for breakfast & hung out my black/grey laundry out to dry. Watched 'This Morning'  which had this saddo freak on with his collection of 240 Sex Dolls which you can see if you click HERE  Today I wore black leggings & my pistachio, Georgio Armani, silk mix, long sleeved top, & my black patent pumps. I have two very painful mountain like hard zits on my chin, bloody hormones playing up me thinks!! Later I popped to the shop for The Sun & some Diet Cokes. Made a Pitta Pocket with Egg Mayo & Cress in & had with Twiglets & a Diet Coke For Lunch, while reading the paper.

I was infuriated by the front page headline!! A Moronic Judge, Stephen Holt let off a Drug Dealer with a £50,000 stash of Drugs! WTF!!!! Is the judge out of his mind on drugs?? Dealer scum Colin McDonald 34, had 90g of Crystal Meth, 90g of Cocaine, 100 Ecstasy Pills, 85g of Amphetamines & 3 bin bags full of Cannabis, but Idiot Judge Holt gave him a piddling 12month suspended sentence, its a bloody joke!!! The law is getting softer & softer on criminal scum. The police who brought McDonald to court are rightly fuming!! I have been a Tory Voter all my life, but what has happened to being tough on crime!!? I know sadly the Tories were saddled & diluted with the weak Lib Dems, in a hung Parliament, But crime needs addressing with some Balls!! And to get that started we first have to rid our self of, Conservative laughing stock Ken Clarke, who is so out of touch he is now in pre Dickensian times!! (Except at least we had the death sentence then!!)

 Ken Clarke
The Twins from 'Take Me Out' are whining that the show made them a joke, forcing them to wear naff matching outfits & poodle hairdo's & editing them down to sound stupid. Well nobody could force me to wear what I didn't want to, you could of always walked girls, but I guess being on the show was more important to you, than standing up for your beliefs, or maybe your both just young & not long enough in the tooth, to feel brave enough to stand up to TV folk? Also you can't be edited to sound stupid, if you don't say anything stupid! 'Louie Spence's Showbusiness' tried that with me at the garden party, but kinda failed. I'd have more sympathy for them complaining about the clothes they were put in, if they were not wearing something much worse in their photo shoot in the Sun paper!!! Was that their choice, or the papers choice? I actually quite liked how they looked & came across on the show, in general & I actually don't know what their worried about? Unless it was just a ploy for more publicity!?

The Twins, In Their Sun Article Outfits

Gypsies have put £150,000 price on the head of Sian's taxi cab murderer (1st good thing the gypsies have done in years) To either kill him or maim him for life, many are laying large bets that cabbie Chris Halliwell wont even survive to make it to court! (would be a better justice, than that of our soft prisons!) There was a  whole section in tVbiz on Mark & that vile, self obsessed, Lauren's TOWIE engagement/wedding YAWN!!!  And Kerry Katona is making a pop comeback YAWN!!

TOWIE's Mark & Lauren

Watched The Real Housewives Of Orange County, Gretchen's partner got her an amazing red Harley Davidson Motorbike (Tamra was well jealous, despite just getting a diamond bracelet from her vile husband) But sadly Gretchen's older boyfriend died due his Leukemia not long after that show. Of course now all the bitchier housewife's will all turn on her, when she gets a new guy in her life. 

Lovely Orange County Housewife Gretchen

I had the new show Fern on, while doing job searches online, wow what a boring load of old shite that is!! I like Fern Britain, but this show is a absolute stinker!! Put away dry laundry, its still grey & rainy outside, at least my plants will enjoy it in my little bit of garden. I had a sliced egg & coleslaw sandwich for dinner with some peanuts, while watching 'Home & Away'  as I wasn't feeling like a proper meal today, then later had a Curlywurly with a decaf coffee, for a bit of a boost. Nigel text at 7.57pm saying 'Ur so funny!! Ha ha x' I've no idea what about & no credit to find out. I'm assuming my blog or something I posted on my Facebook wall?

Did some squats with my Swiss ball against a wall, made some macaroni cheese, with some coleslaw for dinner, then it was chill in front of the TV time, I was on the final Louie Spence's Showbusiness tonight, but couldn't watch as I don't get Sky1. 

 My Cleavage Heaving Moment On 
The Final of 
Louie Spence's Showbusiness

I watched the NEW show 'Vacation, Vacation, Vacation' BORING!! NEW show 'Superscrimpers: Waste Not Want Not' BORING!! Kerry Katona: The Next Chapter' Kerry Katona whines on how hard her life is (If only my life was that hard) Kerry talks about being broke (in her huge Kent home & then she goes & buys new boots, gets her hair done by top hairdresser, works out with her personal trainer, then drives in her big Range rover off to a clinic to get a tattoo removed by having a bigger tattoo over it at £50+ a hour...... oh how I dream of being that broke!!!.... she has no concept of what broke is!!) I was surprised to see P.Rambo had inboxed me & apologised about his behaviour the other week, wanting to re add me, I found that somewhat strange & wondered why the sudden turn around? But I always give people 1 second chance, so lets see if he blows it, or turns out OK??

Then it was time to watch TOWIE (The Only Way Is Essex) Four things were apparent in tonight's show 1) Marks family are not keen on his Fiancé Lauren (not stupid then) 2) Lydia's White Witch looking mum is not too keen on lovely Arg as a Son-in-law! 3) Amy & her assistant, most definitely do not have beautician certificates! 4) and finally Arg is a sweetheart but he is NO singer!!! Freaky looking Chloe went out to Arg's singing event, supposedly as Audrey Hepburn (she wishes) But every time I look at her freakishly distorted cosmetically enhanced face, all I see is the image below!! Apparently she use to be blonde & fatter & look totally different before (my guess is better!!!)

 TOWIE's Chloe
What I see In My Head, When I Look At Chloe

Then watched 'The Model Agency' on Ch4+1 only one more show to go until it ends & still fucking boring as hell!!.... Who would of thought a program on such an interesting industry could be so bloody dull, boring & lacking in glamour!!? Also I'm really craving drinking  a jar of ice cold pickled onion vinegar, I use to drink the vinegar once the onions were gone, as a kid! It must be whatever is causing my skin eruptions causing the craving (Spots & I are a very rare combination) I Love pickled onions & pickle onion vinegar. Had a diet coke & some wine gums as I was oddly craving those too. Then I crashed for the night (Calories consumed 2,548)
Thursday 31st March, I had another bad nights sleep due to neck & shoulder pain, I was woken up by text from Nigel, yet again at 8.22am, I didn't read it as I'd not get back to sleep, finally got back to sleep, and then woke again at 10.45am. I then read the text, he was suggesting a rather unorthodox way of clearing my stuffy nose, to say the least!! One I won't be opting for, for sure! I ignored it, I have hardly any credit anyway! I had a breakfast of 3 chocolate Weetabix, I'm not impressed at all, very bland tasting, the normal Weetabix or Oatibix, has more flavour than this bland rubbish & it's not even as low in calories as the tastier versions either!

Jennie called me & suggested meeting up for a coffee, so I said I'd see her in Costa Coffee at 2.30pm, had a shower & washed my hair, dried hair & pinned it up in a french pleat, wore dark slate grey leggings & violet FCUK V-neck top with 3/4 puff sleeves, my long black flat boots, & put on my long black coat as its bitter, bitter cold out & I headed off to meet Jennie bracing myself against the gale force winds, that were trying to blow me away!! Jennie was running late as her daughter Lara had forgotten to take her flute for her music lesson so she had to quickly nip down there & drop it into the school. 

I arrived in Costa coffee had a Caramel Cappucchino (I think the guy put too much Caramel in as it was a bit bitter) She arrived & had a Latte, plus a caramel slice. We had a chat, it seems her hubby is getting a bit overly possessive & controlling (mid-life crisis??) I sometimes feel I have lost out never being married & then I hear some tails from married friends & I think ....errr maybe not!! Text my friend Julie to see if she was going to Redbourn's Spiritualist meeting tonight? She said 'No but it starts at 7.30pm tonight or 6.30pm Sunday, If your thinking of going' (Might go Sunday on mothers day maybe Mum will come through?!)

I got home just in time to see 'The Real Housewives Of Orange County' (it was the last show of season 4) I watched while eating lunch of a boiled egg & veggie sausage sandwich, with Nat's home made pickle & some peanuts on the side, plus some wine gums after, I haven't eaten them for years!! Did a load of job searches then wrote a £650 cheque & popped out & paid my February Rent (still trying to catch up!!) While out I did a bit of window shopping in New Look & Wished I hadn't as there is just sooooo many things I'd love to buy, but I can't because I'm broke there was a fab leopard print bikini, a black bikini, some fab bras like my fave New Look one but in different colours & some to die for ethnic earrings!!!

I got a home & decided to do a search for Casting agents in the Hertfordshire area, and discovered 'A1 Casting', in Elstree Studios & found they had been auditioning on 19th of March on a link to StarNow (the cut off date was the 19th) Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! Why the fuck did that not come up in my StarNow, New Matches in Audition the section? As I had ticked the casting agents box (why did they not send me A1's auditions, when they send me matches for jobs, needing black or Asian women, or men lmao)

Annoyed I missed out, I emailed them on the off chance anyway & put a gutted over missing out A1 casting update on my Facebook & Twitter statuses. Shortly after Nigel commented on my update saying 'U silly arse - I signed up to them' I replied  'How can I be a silly arse when a) I've never heard of them & b) StarNow never inboxed me their advert for books being open in my new castings?' He replied 'Just sayin surprised how it never came up.. U sure u never missed it,... There were loads of adverts:) x'  Which is absolute bollocks, that is obviously not what he was saying at all.... He is just back peddling & I am very sure I didn't, as I go through new castings twice a day & go through the lot, deleting the non suitable ones, so I don't miss a thing!! Sometimes Nigel really knows what buttons to push irk me (& not just the 8am text buttons!) Though admittedly I do have a short fuse at times, but I just don't suffer fools gladly. Nor do I like bullshitters, or people who who are thoughtless or can't take a hint! Or don't have the courage of their convictions. I joked back that somebody must have a Voodoo doll of me, to make me keep missing out on auditions for Casting Agents I want to join!

I did some more job & audition searches, then watched 'Home & Away' before fixing some Macaroni Cheese with some coleslaw on the side. Watched the soaps & the new series of 'Three In A Bed' which was a delightfully funny mix of odd bods, especially the old Rockabilly Marilyn & her hairdresser husband, she looked like an Octavian version of lady Gaga crossed with the female Gremlin from 'Gremlins 2' Which was a good start to the new series. Then it was back to the vile villagers of Grassington for 'Love Thy Neighbour' The Dr looks like a cross between a Alcoholic & a Nonce! Competing for the cottage in the village full of bigots this week were, a Academic Indian couple V a window cleaner & beautician, the Window cleaner couple won.... nuff said!! 

 Grassingtons Creepy Looking Doctor

Chilled with the paper, while munching on Branston Pickle Minni Cheddars for a bit & then went to bed as I was in a lot of pain thanks to my neck & shoulders & could feel a migraine coming on! Then I noticed on my phone that I'd had a missed call from Nigel at 10.56pm, it must of been when I put out the rubbish, or was in the bathroom, having a wash while getting ready for bed, I didn't text him back, as I didn't have any credit anyway (Calories consumed 2,548)

Friday 1st April (April Fools Day)  I struggled to sleep all night, due to excruciating pain in my neck and shoulders, that travelled down my arms (worst in my left arm) So eventually I ended up falling asleep some time after 6am. Woke at 11.30am still in a lot of pain in my neck, shoulders & arms plus a pre migraine headache. I had a very odd dream, where I got on this big, yellow, American like, bus/coach & my acting pal Nigel, was the bus driver, in a peaked cap, I got on it & found it was full of chest freezers, with dead body's in it & a few seats full of naked frozen solid corpses sat in the seats WTF is that about? Most odd. At least I wasn't woken by a text this morning, so at least I got some sleep.

I went on Facebook & Twitter & posted my 'April Fools' joke on my statuses on both, which was - 'Really excited, I've just got off the phone.... I have just heard I've got the part of Shane Richie's funny niece in EastEnders!!!! woop woop she's very very aloof & a bit backwards!' (lets see how many realise that a bit of aloof backwards makes a fool) Also as Spencer (Alfie's brother) is only in his 20's how could he possibly have a daughter in her 40's (unless Alfie had another secret sibling) Lots of people fell for it & were congratulating me, one old school friend asked how long I was going to be on it & didn't twig when I said it was only a one day cameo only!! lol 

I had 2 chocolate Weetabix for breakfast, still not impressed by it, sprinkled some paprika & nutmeg on it, to give it some oomph. I had a wash & cleansed my face, the two hard lumps under my chin are going down thankfully. Then I did a light make-up & put hair up in a bun. I put on my dark olive 3/4 leggings & white T-shirt with a beige vest top, over the top & my TrimSoles, then I popped to the shops & got a Sun paper & a couple of Diet Cokes. 

You would of thought that the papers, front page headline, would be a April Fools joke, but no!! Police have quizzed a boy, over an assault with a marshmallow!! You couldn't make it up!! after it hit a kids head, when Nathan Watch was fooling around with a group of friends. His father Nigel was called to his school 'Torpoint Community College' & told his son was accused of common assault & would be quizzed as it had become a police matter. The Father was fuming as of course nobody was injured by the marshmallow. The pupil the marshmallow hit accidentally called his parents to complain (what a wuss!!) who in turn called the school & the police (how pathetic!!)

There was a funny pic though of Gorillas using iPads apparently to aid alertness which was definitely the papers April Fool Trick!!

I went on Facebook for a bit & posted a message on Nigel's wall, telling him about my odd dream. He replied with 'What is that supposed to mean?' Confused I replied 'That I dreamt that you was a bus driver, on a bus full of frozen bodies, lol I can't help what I dream, odd huh!?' He replied 'What is that supposed to mean? That I'm cold or I bore you stiff?... what you trying to say?' WTF!!? What an odd attitude reply. I replied 'I'm not trying to tell you anything! I don't know what it means, I'm not a dream analyst, I was just telling you I had a odd dream with you in!!' ..........FFS touchy attitude or what!!?

Sophie from Extra people text me to ask if I was free for a casting on Tuesday 12th April, shooting on 19th/20th April £80 for max 4hrs work. I said I was & will wait to see if I get picked by client to go to casting on the 12th, A1 Casting got back to me rapidly too, saying 'Thank you very much for your kind email. Unfortunately, our registration period has now closed as our intake has reached capacity.We will however certainly keep your information on file and would be delighted to meet you in the Autumn cycle..We will be in touch later in the year'  Which was good news, I had some lunch of a cheese & coleslaw sandwich & Twiglets & watched 'The Real Housewives Of Orange County' Season 4, the bits you didn't see...... lovely!! Nigel text at 2.58pm saying 'How's ur Voodoo Doll!!! X'  I had no credit to reply, so posted on his Facebook wall saying, 'Voodoo Doll seems to be unused today as A1 & another agency has contacted me so far' Checked my emails, while munching some wine gums, as I fancied something a bit sharp. I'm craving sharp things, quite a lot, like pickled onion vinegar lately!!

Today is not just April Fools Day, it's also the Santura Pro results day, time for me to tell you about the Satura Rosta I was using on my eyebrows & lashes. I can't say the outer end of my eyebrows have got thicker (as I was hoping, as end 3rd of my eyebrow is almost non-existent due to hair being fine & needs to be pencilled in) But the downy hairs there, seem thicker, so maybe in time they will form, like outer eyebrows. As for my lashes, I do believe they are longer, they don't seem thicker to me (I may be wrong) but they do seem longer. I need to ask Candie, as she dyed them for me a while back, she'd notice if they were longer, or thicker, if she did them for me again! I was going to try the roll off mascara on them again, to see if they looked different, from the 1st time I used it, after using it after a period of using Satura Rosta, but the rubberised like mascara obviously has sealed the lid shut & I couldn't open it to try!

I think the Satura Pro is making some change to my hair too! I'm sure I'm not imagining it, even though it's early days of usage. I did some laundry & watered the plants, read the paper then later on I watched 'Home & Away' then made dinner a grilled tuna steak, with salad & coleslaw washed down with a Diet Coke, did the washing up & watched the soaps, 'The Mentalist' & 'Friday Night Dinner' I got a text from Nigel at 9.23 saying 'Fancy going to a gig on Wednesday? Slaughtered Lamb in EC2 ..  friend of mine is  playing there xx & can u text me back to my phone this time please!!! ;)'  Well no I couldn't text him back to his phone I had no credit & no cash to buy any credit with. I had exactly £6 in my bank & ATM's do not disperse £5 notes, also I had no money to travel to London, so would not be able to, make the gig. 

I'd  written a status earlier on facebook saying 'Sorry to all of those who have text me today & yesterday & who's calls I have missed but I am out of phone credit & unable to reply' . So I inboxed Nigel on Facebook saying unfortunately I was unable to make Wednesday, and if he has a problem with me inboxing it & not texting him it to his phone, then to check my Facebook Status which says how I have no credit to text him or anyone else. If he freaks out over me inboxing him then that's his problem. Had a decaf coffee, then spent the rest of the night writing my blog, plus chatting on Twitter to @Unnamedinsider about what he should wear to an event for Carole Whites 'The Model Agency' show's wrap party, on Thursday next week!! That he's going to, as it will be full of models. But I stopped after a bit though, as I could feel the onset of a migraine starting. I just hope the Wrap Party is a damn more exciting than 'The Model Agency' show ended up being, because that is a crashing bore!!! So I had a decaf coffee & a Curlywurly & an early (for me) night as it's Nicky's Birthday get together tomorrow (Calories consumed 1,928)

Saturday 2nd April, Dreamt that I had moved to a new area, and It seemed quite rural like St Albans or Sussex, I was wondering around in an attempt to get to know the area, and realised I stood out quite a bit, as I was dressed a bit like a Goth. I was looking for a certain hairdresser, that I often go to in my dreams (she has a beauty salon attached and she dyes my hair pail blonde, she has a shoulder length bob with a fringe) I couldn't find her, but somehow came to Candies house. So I visited her, and played some kind of electronic game with her son Xavier. Then we wandered round local shops, as it was Xavier's birthday, to see what he would like? 

 Iggy Pop Puppet

He chose this odd silicone moulding, of a naked Iggy Pop curled in a foetal position, with a small baby clutched to his chest, this figurine had long blonde nylon doll hair. I wondered why he'd want that? and if Candie would allow him it to have it? he also wanted a lamp with a Easter egg sized, cream silicone egg, encased in a gold gilded like setting (a bit like a Faberge egg) But when it was turned on, the egg had a gold like marbled glow. I wandered off somewhere & I walked down a flight of stairs outside somewhere, but the bottom 4 steps were missing, so I had to jump down. I got to a circular outside bar, and sat waiting to be served & Hugh Grant seemed to be standing at 3 O'clock to me, at the circular bar to my right ....

Hugh Grant

Then I seemed to be in a car with my mum & dad, Auntie Babs & I think also my sister Julie. They all got out the car and were going to go off somewhere to eat, leaving me sat in the car. The 2 doors on my side closed, the other 2 left open. But it suddenly poured with rain, so they had to get back in again & drive us somewhere. Then we were in a Italian restaurant inside a department store, I needed the toilet, so I went to the ladies, the toilet had a short pipe with water tickling out at the back (like toilets in Turkey) But when you sat down there was this large urinal/fountain looking thing, that raw sewage kept running down & I was thinking how dirty & unhygienic that was!! 

Mum Aged 20yrs

I went out and my Dad, Aunt & now my Brother seemed to be going down some stairs & I was trying to find Mum to go with them. I found her in a cafe, behind a counter helping herself to a cup of tea from a big urn. She looked like she did when she was 20yrs. She was saying how cheap the cafe was & I told her that was because it was the staff canteen. We went through a room where 3 old men were gambling & I was going to gamble on what % of their bets would win. I then had to get somewhere & was looking at a map, the place I needed to get to, looked about 15miles away, judging by the map & yet an old man told me, I'd be able to walk it in 30mins.

I got up at 10am & had breakfast of the boring chocolate Weetabix & coffee. I checked my mail, I still have a migraine hangover headache, so took a load of pain killers, too try kill the pain before tonight, and chilled laying in bed for a few hrs while they kicked in, then a hr after they did, and the pain went from high to low, I took some more too take the final pain away. It seemed to work & I had a bath & washed hair & made lunch of Quorn Marsala & Rice, washed down with a Diet Coke! Dried hair now feeling pain free & chipper singing & dancing along to Lady Gaga's 'Fame Monster' then did my make-up dancing and singing along to the album (Obviously feeling a lot better than I had earlier!!) 

I decided to not use any half wigs or clip in hair extensions/hair-pieces to see if the Santura Pro has made my hair thicker, I'll be taking my new camera to see if my hair looks thicker in the pictures. I got a text message from Orange saying I had £1.50 in bonus top ups this month, that I can use (OK, well that will be OK for using for emergency's until I can afford to top up my phone!!) 

 The Evidence, Does My Hair Look Any Thicker?

I checked my Hotmail, Twitter & Facebook & was surprised to see a message from my Belgium Ex Jan saying 'Found you! sorry i just emailed you to say i couldn't find you on FB. how are you? doing anything this weekend? would love to see you again... :) I know i messed up last time but i really want to make it up to you. x'  ahh of course it's April, the month when all my Exes, without fail come out of the woodwork, and suddenly remember what a great girlfriend I was, and how much fun they had when with me!! Then they want me to get back with them!!.... Quite impressed, Jan has been trying now for 4yrs, he must be 27-28yrs now!!? He said he'd been at home enjoying the sunshine & would really like to see me again & would pay my fare, if I wanted to come over for a visit sometime?? lol He is definitely trying, I'll give him that! We chatted for a bit & he gave me his new mobile number & I said I had to go and get ready to go out!

I decided on my dark denim look, jersey, Jane Norman dress over wet look leggings & long flat boots & my hooped earrings with Navy dipped fringing, I was just heading off at 8.45pm when my friend Emma text saying 'Junie where are you? hurry up I don't know anyone here!!' I pulled on my denim jacket as it is quite mild out tonight, then headed out the door to the Peahen. There was quite a few hotties in The Peahen tonight (Hello boys where have you been hiding?) After searching The Peahen's interior I found the 'Fag Ash Lills' all smoking (yuck!) in the Beer Garden. Emma was all excited to see me rushing over saying how amazing I was looking, saying I looked even younger than when she last saw me & she loved my hair like that, without any extensions (One point to Satura Pro) She'd been talking to Nicky's rather inebriated friend Carrie, who was going on & on about the same ole story, that she had been banging on about, last time I saw her, about a year or more ago, which is  the question 'Why has she been single for so long? why can't she find a boyfriend? She isn't that minging is she?' etc etc....

To be honest, her staying sober might be a start (I don't think I have ever met her when she wasn't either pissed, or stoned & maybe making her grunge look more better coordinated, or some make-up. She sings in a band, I said doesn't she get any groupies interested? She said there were some but she didn't like them (too too fussy maybe??) Emma & I went to the bar & I had a Vodka Slimline with a squeeze of lime, Emma had a Vodka & Coke. We re joined the group where Carrie was still harping on about the 'No man' topic there was a group of about 8 men stood together so Emma & I said 'Right lets go find out, from the horses mouth, where your going wrong!' 

So Emma & I marched over to the group of guys, to find out why they think Carrie is unlucky in love? While she squealed refusing to come with us, saying she wasn't confident enough to talk to strangers (maybe that's another reason why!?) The guys were great fun & willing to chat to Carrie, to give her some honest feedback (But Carrie wouldn't come over) But to be honest they seemed far more interested in Emma & I, especially when Emma dropped into the conversation that I was also single..... Thanks for that Emma lol. 

I tried to take some pics with my NEW camera but it kept turning itself off! Emma said 'The batteries must have run down' I said 'They can't have, I haven't used it yet, other than turning it on, to set date etc when I 1st got it!!'.... so they are either shit, new, batteries, or this camera is shit, and drains them, if they are kept in! (which may explain why it's half price!!) 

3 Looks Of Zara Phillips 
Do You Think We Look Alike?

With Carrie being a wuss, we went back over to Nicky, Carrie & the gang, Nicky's friend Lorraine said she thought I looked like Zara Philips (above) adding had I been told that before? I said 'Funnily enough some of my Aunt's and Uncles think the same' A real hottie walked into the beer garden & our eyes locked, he was about 26-29yrs with stunning piercing blue eyes, a trendy messed up, hair puttied hairdo and stubble, which I'm not normally keen on, but with those eyes he was such a head turner, that I didn't care. He was stood near us for a bit then went back inside, but we kept crossing paths every time I went to the ladies, or to the bar & our eyes locked every time. 

Nicky's friends Bernie, Carrie & a few others were nagging Nicky to go to The Peacock, god only knows why? it's full of old pikeys, or old Irish gangsters & drug dealers. Emma & I were of the same mind that, Nicky's friends should stick to the venue, that the Birthday Girl wants to go to, and not force the Birthday Girl to go where they want to go!!... They went off ahead to The Peacock, which I think is rather rude of them and we finished our drinks inside The Peahen.

Mr Sexy Eyes, in his jeans & checked shirt, was just ahead of us, on the raised area, and he kept looking over his friends shoulder down to where we were & our eyes continued to lock, but due to some of Nicky's more selfish friends we had to go. So hot as he was, it was Chicks before Dicks. But before heading off to the 'Paddy's Palace' ie The Peacock, we headed off to our old haunt, where Nicky & I 1st met, Barneys. Barneys was having it's closing party, as the owner was selling it, as after her husband died last year, she couldn't cope with both bars, Billy's (Harpenden) and Barneys (St Albans) so she stuck to Billy's & sold Barneys. 

Some Past Nights Out, With the Gang, In Barneys 
Ciggy Belongs to Photographer, I've Never Smoked!!

It was rammed like the old days, and some young lads from local footie club were all over us, telling me I was 'bang tidy!!' They seemed to have a older guy with them, called Andrew, who was around my age, who was trying to chat me up. He seemed nice enough, if a bit cheesy, but I wasn't particularly interested, Nicky joked 'Your too old for her!!' the footballers, who he was the manager of were all over me again (Not that I was interested in any of them either...... they were a bit young, even for me & not in Mr Sexy Eyes league!!) Andrew said 'How come I'm making my moves & seconds later, the boys have edged me out' Nicky said 'I told you, your too old!!' which amused me as she kept saying it & I thought 'She likes him & wants to put him off me, to chat him up herself lol'

He asked where we were going next? We said 'The Peacock' he said they were probably going to Havana's & to go there. I said we couldn't, we were meeting others in The Peahen. He asked me to write my number down, saying he'd forgotten to bring his phone out, which I thought maybe bullshit & maybe he was married & just said that, so his Wife/Girlfriend wouldn't find a suspect number in his phone contacts, but I gave him the benefit of the doubt, though I thought the fact that he didn't return the favour, before heading off to the gents,  kind of underlined my suspicions somewhat!.... When he walked off Nicky said 'You lucky cow I so would, but I've no chance he is obviously into you, you better go on a date with him or I will be angry with you, he is too good to turn down' I laughed & said 'Thought you liked him, the way you kept emphasizing he's too old for me, well we will see if he calls and asks for a date or not!' Personally I have the gut feeling he is just after a leg-over tonight!

 Birthday Girl Nicky & Carrie 
Having a Fag Outside The Peacock

We left the bar, dragging Emma away from some 21yr old trying to seduce her, and headed off to 'Pikey's R Us' & we saw Bernie & Carrie sat outside having a fag as we neared 'The Peacock' we went inside & there was a live band called 'The Von Trapps' that were actually quite good & did some Muse & Stereophonics numbers among a lot of other rock & punk numbers. I groaned when I saw the same old 70's-80's Irish pensioner eyeing me up, that had tried hitting on me last year when Nicky had her Birthday there. I saw him go up to Nick who I know from around St Albans & ask him about me & when I went to the bar he said 'Hi are you Felicity?' I said 'Sorry I'm afraid not!... why?' 

He looked at Nick, who was laughing & said 'Your in big trouble mate!!' The band pulled me up to sing & play tambourine on stage & I had a laugh clowning around as I played with the band, which amused Nicky, who was taking photos of it all & it also kept me away from my pensioner admirer. I managed to get my camera on & managed to take 5 pics, before it said memory full (must go to Jessops to get a memory card that fits it, as other cameras doesn't annoyingly enough!!) 

The Von Trapps in The Peacock

I went to the toilet & Bernie was saying how Nick had a thing for me, I said I thought she was mistaken, adding 'I've known him around town for years, I have never noticed him show any interest' she said 'Well I know him well & I know different' Hmmm odd, if she is right, though maybe that might explain his prank on the horny pensioner! I went back into the bar & said to Emma what Bernie had just said & she got really excited & squealed 'Oh please go out with Nick, please, please, please.... he's lovely & your lovely! I'd love you two to date!!!' I laughed & said 'Steady on, I'm just repeating what Bernie reckons.... he's not indicated anything to me!!'  Funnily enough though shortly after Nick came over and was making small talk & bought us both a drink. Then I saw I had a missed call, by an unknown number, on my mobile, assuming it must be Andrew I text back 'You tried to call me sorry I couldn't hear the call over the band playing' I got the reply 'Soz Andrew was using my phone think he will be with you soon in da Peacock'  I replied with 'Thanks well at least he will of missed me being a fool on stage' whoever it was replied 'lol well come to Havana we av all gone there' I replied 'Can't I'm here for my friend' 30mins past & no Andrew appeared, so I assume he either went home, or to Havana's with the lads, or pulled some other bird & went off with her, which made me also assume my 1st thought was correct.

Nick came over & chatted some more & invited me out for a drink at the start of next week, so we swapped numbers, and I tried to ignore the exited looking Emma, in case I laughed! We ended up in a lock in until 3am (That's why I think Bernie & Carrie like The Peacock) I got a lift home from Emma's husband, stopping off at Subway on the way, I had a 6" Sub & she had a 12" Sub as we were starved, then they dropped me home & I went to bed, lets see if Andrew contacts me next week, from his forgotten phone, to ask me out for a date! Personally I doubt it!! (Calories consumed Far too many!!)

Sunday 3rd April,  (Mothers Day) I woke at 10am to a sunny but chilly day, I had a wash, brushed hair & did a light make-up. I wore dark navy jeggings, with my rainbow striped French designer, long sleeved V-neck T-shirt. With my silver cardie on top, under my faux cream sheepskin jacket & faux beige sheepskin body warmer & had a coffee & 2 chocolate Weetabix for breakfast, before I popped to the shop & got a NOTW & brought it indoors, then I set off out, to mums grave, with a small purple rockery/bourder flower. I thought it would be more likely to survive & may grow over the rather rocky grave. 

Nick text at 11.47am saying 'You OK? Still fancy popping out 4a drink or 2? & when? X'  I said yes & either this Monday or Tuesday should be OK. Nick isn't who I'd normally go for, for one he is my age, with white hair, but he is 6ft 4" trendy & as a sports instructor in good shape, he also seems amiable enough & one of my New Years Resolutions is, that I said I'd give more guys a chance with me & not to be so quick to rule them out, as incompatible. He replied 'Tuesdays fine but where shall we meet x' I suggested The Peahen at around 8.30, he replied 'See you there at 8.33 then x'.  

I walked the 75mins to the grave, on the way Mike Called to say he'd pop by tomorrow, to pick up the money for the sink I sold for him on eBay (shame he didn't text before I left, I could of popped it into him on the way to Mum & Dads grave, as he lives close to the cemetery!) Got to Mums grave, Julie & Erdal had obviously come down earlier or yesterday & left some flowers, the grave seems raked over too with less rocks & more grass covering it. I stood there talking to mum (& dad a little bit) and sobbed for a while, I still miss her so much!!

After a while I began the 75min walk back to home 15mins in the heavens opened up and I was soaked got in 60mins later & dried off & made a late lunch of Prawn Tikka Marsala washed down with a diet coke, which was much appreciated as I was famished!! I'd checked the bus stop to see the times for the 34 bus to Redbourn tonight to get me there for the Spiritualist meeting at 6.30pm, but I discovered somebody in their wisdom had decided not to run the 34 anymore on a Sunday, which really upset me as I thought if I went tonight mum might come through to me!! 

I settled down & read the NOTW, There was a story in there saying that Dan Foden who is 'Supposedly' dating Kerry Katona, is only doing it for the money & fame, according to his 5yr secret lap-dance lover (What did I tell you in my last blog!!!) She said Dan told her he was just using the opportunity to kick-start his modelling career, adding 'It's all made up rubbish I've not been shagging her' (what did I tell you!!!.... I bet he has been signed by CAN!!) He added 'If it fucking gets me where I need to get, I will do, wont I!!' He even text his lover of 5yrs while on a date with Kerry saying 'I love you!!Xxxxx'  

She say's he is not a rich property developer, he is in fact jobless & living with his mum Tanya, even the flash Range Rover he drives is his mums, the number plate T4 NYA is a give away! The Paper says the revelation will devastate Kerry. Bollocks will it! only the truth being out will horrify her. Like I said in Last weeks blog this 'FAKE' relationship has been instigated by her management team 'CAN' to act as a smoke screen, to distract us from her, real lover the Boot Camp trainer, who is now going through a divorce, brought about by his dalliance's with Kerry (We the public are not that Naive & Stupid or forgetful CAN!!)

Kerrys Faux-mance

Nicky text at 4.48pm  saying 'Nice 2c ya on top form last night. U had me in hysterics it was like the good old days again & if you don't go out with Matey I will!' I said 'Haven't heard from matey boy, I think he was a player after a leg over, find it hard to believe he didn't have his mobile with him! and if he really had forgotten it & was really as keen as he attested to be, he would of text me by noon today! Even if he lost my number, he could of got it off of the lad, who's phone he borrowed to call me!' She replied 'I did think that, but if he was then he would of tried bedding you last night & not bothered getting number, but then I'm a bad judge of character. My friend Lorraine with the red hair thinks you look like Zara Philips' I replied 'I think he took it, in case he didn't find someone to bed in Havanas, yeah she said that to me too x'

I made a grilled tuna steak salad, with coleslaw & dipped a chunky KitKat in Greek yoghurt for dessert, there was not much on TV watched 'Come Dine With Me' missed the last of 'The Tudors' yesterday (bugger) Then I watched 'The Only Way Is Essex' Nicky text me during it, saying 'Your Lydia Lol' after that it was a night of  'Hawaii Five-O' 'CSI' & 'NCSI' then another mental week came to an end, as I went to bed to crash out for the night. The question is what will next week bring? (Calories consumed 1,878)

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