Monday, 16 August 2010

Evil Barbie 2010 The Year Thus Far....

December 2009 One Year Ends & Another Begins!!

The run up to 2010 was a Sombre affair, I was dreading the 1st Xmas of my life spent without my beloved Mum, for me Mum was Christmas.... I was very fortunate to be invited to spend Christmas with my 2 Gay BFF Nat & Terry, but I knew in spite of their best efforts to make me feel better & the fact that they are my Second Family, there was going to be a deep emptiness deep inside of me, however much of a brave face I put on. But I donned the silly Hats/Antlers etc read the naff cracker jokes (always the best type) & spoke to my brother Bill & Sister Julie on Phone, thanking them for my prezzis (I got a fab Marilyn Monroe studded top & hair styler from Julie & her Turkish husband Erdal, amid numerous other items)
Spot the Turkey!
The Studded Marilyn Top!!

I met & became friends with Erdal after a couple of holidays in Cesme Turkey (which has become my 2nd home) I was determined my sister met him ,when we went on holiday there together,the The 1st holiday taken together since we were kids (a treat from my dad) My sister & I are very different & I knew if she didn't get on with any of my other friends there, it would be impossible for her not to like Erdal, as he is lovely & as they have been married over 10yrs, I was obviously right (it also sticks two fingers up at the workmates of my sister, that said he was just after her passport, just because he is 13yrs younger than her!!)
Erdal & Julie Yilmaz

January 2010

I went back home on December 28th & saw The New Year in with Friends Jennie & Edgar at a Local Party. It was only the 3rd time in my life that I'd seen the New Year in without my Mum (& I don't care how much of a Billy No Mates that makes me sound, I loved seeing in the New Year with a Glass of Bucks Fizz & My Mum) Though I still felt devastated, I was determined 2010 was going to be a good year for me, after all I'd had 3yrs of HELL from losing my jobs, ill health & then losing the most Important thing to me, my Mum!!.... thought I was due some good luck & 2010 would bring it, after all it has the perfect 10 at the end!!

One New Year Exception, was for The Millennium, I saw the New Year in with my friend Jennie, on a Yacht in the Centre of the Thames by the OXO building In a Shocking Pink, Long, Fish Tailed, Rubber, Off The Shoulder, Lace-Up Backed, Long Sleeved Dress, (well it was practical, Waterproof & Warm, without needing a Coat in the Dec/Jan cold) Pink Glitter Platforms & a Blonde & Silver Wig, that Rupaul would be Proud Of!! & the crowds on the banks & bridges would Chant,  "Barbie, Barbie, Barbie!!" as I got on & off the Water Taxi to peruse The Onshore, Thames Side, New Year Entertainments. Which was quite ironic seeing they didn't know they were chanting at The Evil Barbie!!...

Apparently I discovered later, via friends, seeing in the New Year at home, I was featured on the news (no idea which channel!!) I guess there were Cameras on the OXO Building. The Yacht was brilliant you had food & drink at hand, plus a Toilet (god knows how those who were on the Bridge & Thames Edge from 6am to get a good spot got on?? for food & toilet needs?) we moored in the Thames the night before so were nicely settled by morning. Come Midnight 8 of us were sat on the front of the yacht, a bottle of Champagne each, watching the fireworks leap into the sky from the Centre of The Thames both right in front of the Yacht & directly behind, it was definitely memorable.

On January 23rd it was the 40th Birthday of another Gay Friend, Richard, who I'd met through Nat & Terry Years ago. It was a 80's Theme So I got to indulge in my love of Fancy Dress & became Debbie Harry (Blondie) for the night, While Richard was Boy George, he was George Micheal the Year before, must like the name George!!
Do You Really Want To Hurt Me??
On January 29th I went to Elstree, Borehamwood, with yet another one of my Gay friends Ian Mann to appear on Big Brothers Big Mouth, as we are both loud & opinionated, The show went well despite me feeling violently sick 15 mins before I went on & having a very dodgy tummy after we left. I had come down with one of those annoying 24hr bugs that was going around!! YUCK!!......


Feb 6th and it was Big Brother 11, Auditions time, my Big Brother Friends Richard Newman (BB7) and Gerry Stergiopoulos (BB8) said I'd do well & would be brilliant on there (I'd certainly of out Cougared the Cougar that did go in) I got through the Auditions & got my hand stamped & had to fill in a lot of forms, and go through the usual tests, but obviously I didn't get in the final selection (or I'd not be typing this now..... unless I was voted out early of course) I am friends with quite a few BB housemates, including Jonty Stern who also was in BB8. 

My friend Tania, who use to work for my BFF Candie at Chanel, was in the much maligned BB5, she was the one everyone said looked like Liz Hurley & everyone was talking about her blusher (as she put lots on thinking the TV lights would make her look washed out) in fact I talk to Mario & Lisa, plus Lea quite a lot too!!......
Pissed Fag Hag & her boys Richard & Gerry
With BB8's Jonty
The Big Brother 11 Your Through Auditions Stamp
With My Gorri Girls
After The BB11 Auditions, I set off to Southgate North London, to catch up with my Greek Posse, from my Gorri Girl days, to celebrate my friend Sarah's 42nd Birthday, we were the same quiet wallflowers we have always been!!..... NOT!!!!

On Feb 22nd my Late Fathers Birthday, my Sister-in-law Karen (my brother Bill's 2nd wife) went into labour with her 1st child & we hoped it would be born on Dads Birthday. But it wasn't until 3 days later on Feb 25th that Alex Daniel Philip Smith Was Born at 3.25am to a much relieved & very tired Karen!!


At the beginning of March I went back to the Gym in earnest, determined to lose the 2st gained due to being depressed over mums unexpected death, I wasn't quite up to the 3-4hrs 5-7days a week I was doing before, but it was a start in the right direction..... though I could feel how much 10 months of inactivity, had set me back!!

On March 8th I attended my friend Linda's Launch Night for Loyal Linda's Promotions, where I caught up with friends Ian Mann & Jonty Stern & 90's Pop sensation Anthony Kavanagh, a drunken night was had & Ian, Linda, Kav & I all ended up in Soho's Shadow Lounge, for some drunken disco dancing, after Kav & I had been singing our lungs out, on the way there in the taxi !!

With Kav, Coz 'He Can Make Me Feel Good'
Ian & I
The next day still drunk Ian & I went to the imax to watch Alice In Wonderland in 3D Excellent!!.....

Saturday was not so excellent as I got stood up!!!...... "His LOSS!!" Sunday was Mothers Day so I took flowers to Mum & Dads Grave....

Things were pretty quiet for a while apart from a bit of Ebaying to earn a few ££. Until Gerry Stergiopoulos told me to contact Endimol as Big Brother were doing a show talking to people who had auditioned for BB every year, but never got in, he said it was my chance to shine. So I emailed the email address he gave me, giving them my home & mobile number as well as email address.


Went off to Stay with my BFF Candies for a couple of weeks, to help decorate her house, when I got back I found someone from BB had left a message on my home phone & I called back leaving them a message to say that, I was going back to Candies for one more week after the weekend so to call me on my mobile there, leaving my number yet again. A week went by & no call so I called again & someone called me back & they said I would be Ideal, but they had done all there filming now & weren't sure they'd be doing any more & if she didn't call back in 2 days I'd be out of luck!! she didn't call "Bugger" I thought, Why didn't she Call me on my mobile instead of leave a message on my home phone!!.... but thought oh well maybe fate has something better than BB for me!!


On May 11th the 1yr Anniversary of Mums death I took flowers to mums grave & tidied it up & in the Evening had a meal with my Sister Julie & Erdal at The Peahen in St Albans

The Peahen

On May 22nd it was my friend Jennie's Husbands 50th & their 10yr Wedding Anniversary, they had a Vicars & Tarts Party, giving me another excuse for a bit of fancy dress. Even the busty mini gingerbread women had suspenders & Evil Barbie rocked with the band !!.... I got chatting to a guy there called *Jeff who invited me out for a drink, not really my normal type to be honest, he was 49yrs & looked older & was much shorter than me, even shorter when I was in my killer heels, I tend to go for a tall toy boy normally, but he was fun & nice to chat to so I agreed!!

Evil Barbie Rocks

May 24th & my Phone & Broadband is now with Talk Talk I set up my Modem & nothing!!

So let me inform you of My experience with Talk Talk since joining Talk Talk on May 21st. I was cold called by a Talk Talk sales person, while fed up with high £60-£80 bills by BT when I only spend £5-£10 a quarter for calls on my land-line & I was advised to swap to Talk Talk & to include a broadband package, rather than have my then present dial up by Eclipse & was told it would be a lot faster after checking my line, so I agreed to move to Talk Talk as the package was only £2 more than my Eclipse monthly bill alone & I was told they would liaise with BT & Eclipse, to inform them of the changes on my behalf, to save me time & effort, and I would be with talk Talk from May 21st.

I was 3days late trying to connect my broadband, as I didn't get my Talk Talk modem in the post until Monday 24th, but when I connected up my modem, although it was working correctly I had none of the start up symbols on my PC, for Windows Excel, or Windows 7 mentioned in booklet, as my PC was Windows 98, so I called customer services at 10am & was told my old PC was NOT compatible with Talk Talks broadband, I asked why the sales person didn't check I was PC compatible for the package before selling me it? (I was told in a blaze manner, oh they wouldn't do that, one would assume people used up to date PCs etc) I said that I was desperate to get back online, as I was between jobs, an used my PC to do job searches & send off CV's and apply for auditions & I needed to be able to check any replies which could mean possible job interviews.

Customer services kept putting me through from 1 dept to the next, and it was suggested I upgrade my PC to Windows 7, I said being presently unemployed I could not afford to do that, after being shunted from pillar to post speaking to people in India, America, South Africa & 1 other country, which I no longer can recall, I was told by Talk Talk that I could get an upgrade to Windows 7, for my PC for £10 at PC World, I said was she sure as that sounded very cheap & if that was the case I should of upgraded years ago, she said she was & my account would be credited £10 to pay for it, then my problem would be solved.

So I had a 2hr round trip by train to my nearest PC world in Hemel, to get the upgrade but nobody there knew what on earth I was on about?? saying an upgrade to Windows 7 would cost me £97-£98 (cant find piece of paper I wrote exact price on, at moment) To say I was not happy about my wasted 2hr journey, after 3 wasted hrs talking to Talk Talk on the phone, on what was the hottest day of the year, when I should of been enjoying the local park instead, is an understatement.

So now both livid and frustrated I spoke to Talk Talk customer services yet again, I spoke to a nice American man in America & was told that, as dial up and broadband were different, I should still be able to use my dial up provider, or he could close down my account & open up a new Talk Talk account which was phone only, but I'd lose my present number and be assigned a new one, which I didn't want as I had an excellent memorable phone number & he said as the broadband was practically free in my package it was probably better to stick with present package, in case I got a laptop or similar in the future for my birthday that was coming up soon, but said he could as some compensation for situation, reduce my package by £2, as at the moment I couldn't at present make use of my broadband, I said that seemed fair and I'd contact Eclipse.

I contacted Eclipse & they said Talk Talk had not informed them of my change (like the sales girl said she would) & my Dial up was suspended the moment my BT line was disconnected, I asked if they could re connect me, via Talk Talk phone line, but they said their dial up was not compatible with Talk Talk, (after doing a line check) frustrated and after being in floods of tears of frustration on the phone to my friend I called Talk Talk customer services yet again.

I was now yet again, talking to yet another Talk talk guy in India, so I went into the long lengthy story of what had happened so far, which I had to repeat several times as his grasp of English was very VERY poor, he asked if I wanted to close my account?? I said even though after today's events I felt like going back to BT out of sheer frustration, I did NOT want to cancel as I want to keep my Talk Talk phone-line, but I did want a solution to my problem, he spoke to the tech dept & got back to me & said if I'd have bought the expensive Windows 7 upgrade, at PC world it probably would of been too advanced to be compatible with my windows 98 PC anyway, but it would upgrade to Window Excel & that could be done for £10-£20 from PC world. 

I said I'd spent 2hrs travelling to PC World earlier & they quoted £97-£98 to upgrade, he said as Talk Talk & PC World were interconnected company's, if I explained I was a Talk Talk customer & it was to enable my Talk Talk Broadband they would sort me out for £10-£20, I said I didn't want another 2hr wasted train journey,wasted train journey, he said he would give me the direct number of PC Worlds sales team & I could sort it over the phone, he said if he could do that would I be happy to stay with Talk Talk then? & I said of course, I don't want to leave I just want the problem sorted!! & quick!!.... so he said he would credit my account with another £10 in case upgrade costs £20 & gave me the number 0870 087 0870 to call PC World on.

Like Blondie, Talk Talk keep Me Hanging On The Telephone

So tired, irritated and stressed I called 0870 087 0870 & when a voice greeted me with "Carphone Warehouse Mobile Phones how can I help?" I didn't know whether to laugh, scream or cry!!!...

So yet again I called Talk Talk Customer Services, this time I spoke to a woman in South Africa, by then it was 5pm & I had spent 5hrs on the phone talking to Talk Talk & 2hrs on a wasted journey to PC World (at Talk Talks customer services suggestion), yet again I went through the whole story, from beginning to end, she said on the screen of my account that I wanted to cancel my account, I said to remove that, as it was wrong, I did NOT wish to cancel, I'd discussed the possibilities of cancelling my account & opening a phone line only one with an American chap, but we came to the conclusion it was not worth the trouble & best to keep present one.

I told her about my Trip to PC World & Call to PC World, that turned out to be the mobile phone dept of Carphone Warehouse!!... she was very apologetic about my stress & said she would talk to her supervisor for advice.

She got back to me and said she thought she had a solution that would work that would also save me having to go through any more bother myself, she would see if she could send someone out from Talk Talk Tech team, to come out to upgrade my PC to Windows Excel for me, she said as it was now 5.30pm the UK office was shut and not answering phone but she said she would call them 1st thing tomorrow morning & call me back to let me know the outcome. 

They would need to know my address etc for the appointment, but legally she couldn't give them that, but she would get them to call me for needed details, if I am happy with the response/outcome the following day (tues 25th May) she took my mobile number & home number & mentioned that she noticed we shared the same birthday June 20th, and said she would call me the next day & I thought at last someone doing something pro active who's taken details to call me back on, for once I felt optimistic.

Later that night *Jeff who I met at the Tarts & Vicars party, who had called earlier when I was in tears of sheer frustration, came round & he had bought me a packard bell notepad, to cheer me up, and to be able to check emails & apply for jobs online until Talk Talk sorted out my PC, they also gave me a 3 plug & play USB modem, in case I needed to use note pad away from home & a credit note for £179 in Riess to buy myself something with. I was touched by his kindness & also very surprised.

Just as well he did do that, as Tue 25th May Came & went & no call back from the Lady from Talk Talk ..... by May 30th Still no word, very frustrating, but thanks to *Jeff, at least I could now use my broadband with my new notebook, and I had too much on interview wise, to hang on the line to Talk Talk customer services again for hrs at a time.


Then on the night of June 2nd in the middle of sending off an important document I lost my Talk Talk Broadband connection, thank God I had my 3 plug & play USB modem *Jeff had got me with notebook or I'd not have been able to save my work to drafts or send, I restarted modem no joy, I checked phone line & I had a line & thought as its 1am I will wait until office hrs to call customer services tomorrow, 3rd June but when I went to call that morning, I now no longer had a phone-line either????? I tried customer services on my mobile but my pay as you go £5 credit was eaten up before anyone answered, deeply upset by this never ending saga I tried to contact Talk Talk via email on but 3 attempts I made would not send.....

My friend called by & found me in tears of anger & frustration yet again, and let me use their mobile to call customer services, where I spoke to someone in India, I said that I had no Broadband or Phone-line & didn't know why?? & he said the line/broadband had been disconnected, I said why as I have only been a customer 12 days & had not asked to close my account?? nor had there been any problem with my connection fee as far as I am aware??, nor had I received notice by post, email or phone of any pending disconnection, he said he would try to sort it for me & apologised for the poor customer service I had received thus far, but before I got any answer he cut me off (accidentally or not I don't know)

My friend had to go so couldn't leave me their phone & I had a DHSS appointment in 15mins time, so had no time to call again anyway, only to have to go through the whole thing again to yet another customer service person anywhere in the world. As he had my details on screen & he'd cut me off, he should of called me back on my mobile to continue to solve my dilemma!!!

Frustrated I gave my contact us form one more go which has finally 4th time lucky sent to Talk Talk but on 4th writing was a lot more brief in its explanation of the problem than the other 3!!...... I ended email with -please can you get my line & broadband up & running again I NEVER canceled it (though I said I came close to, several times when answering online, the HOW DID WE DO customer services survey)

They replied
Dear Miss.Smith,

Please accept our apologies for the delay in responding to your email. We always aim to provide a high level of customer service *thats a joke* and will respond to emails as quickly as possible.

I can confirm after viewing your account that you did speak to our Options Team to cancel your contract. If you would like to re-join TalkTalk please contact our Sales Team on 0800 049 9999. For any further queries, please visit the TalkTalk Helpdesk for answers to common broadband and landline questions. Alternatively, you can contact us by telephone on 0870 444 1820. Calls to this number are free from your TalkTalk landline.

Kind regards,
Amraize Hussain,
TalkTalk Customer Relations.

Totally Fucked Off, I replied

Dear Amraize

Thanks for your reply but I did NOT ask for my contract to be canceled, I discussed the possibility with one guy, when problems were being offered to problem & we decided against it & later when talking to someone else they said it said on my details I wanted to cancel & I said that was wrong & not the case & to remove from my details as it was discussed but opted against it, and the last person I was speaking to who was going to get back to me, was going to sort my broadband problem & no talk of cancelling was involved the cancellation was only mentioned once re broadband that I couldn't use NOT land line & I was told as it came as a package the whole package would have to be cancelled & I said I didn't want that, so wanted to stick with package & work on broadband solution. NEVER did I confirm to cancel, in fact once, when I was told that a cancellation request had been put on my account screen, I said to remove it as it was incorrect & even if I did ask for account to be cancelled (which I didn't) like BT I would think Talk talk would write or email me that a cancellation was going through giving me a few days to change mind. which never happened... obviously having no land line that FREE phone number is of NO use, to my mobile that phoning customer services yesterday ate all my £5 credit off of without even getting to speak to anyone!!...I guess I will have to try find a neighbour to let me use their phone.... And as I have no Talk Talk land line as you cancelled it NOT at MY Request that number being free from it is of no use!!! 

As I'd said b4 one of your operators have wrongly put me down to cancel, probably down to a language barrier, as I was told it was on my screen the next time I went to customer services after talking to someone in India, who had poor English & who I had to repeat myself to over & over again to be understood (which he still didn't seem to) and I told the next operator who said it was on there, that that was wrong & to remove it!!..... you would think after the messing about I would have customer services would call me on my mobile to re connect me as I did NOT ask for this and you think you'd bee keen to keep a customer, your claim in email above re aiming to deliver a high level of customer service is wide of the mark to say the least

Thankfully my neighbour was kind enough to let me use her phone I have asked to be reconnected, but would take 2-3weeks, my new ref number is NL10330467 I was told there would be a £69.99 connection fee & after talking to sales, she put me through to customer services who said as I NEVER requested to be disconnected in the 1st place they could remove that fee or refund if I find it on my bill, Sales also told me I'd lost my 01727 84 85 80 tel number as it went back to BT when I was disconnected, which I was very angry about as that was one of the main reasons I opted against disconnecting when discussed originally, she said once I got my new number, I could go to customer services to get my old one to replace it, I hope this info is correct, she also said she would contact me on my mobile in 1-2 days to try sort things I hope she is true to her word as last time the girl in SA who I spoke to last on May 24th said that she would call me back on May 25th & I never heard from her since & then got the shock of a disconnected phone/broadband on 1st June which it seems is the norm with Talk Talk customer services.
His response.......

Dear Miss.Smith,

Please accept our apologies for the delay in responding to your email. We always aim to provide a high level of customer service and will respond to emails as quickly as possible.I can confirm all the previous correspondence sent to you from myself regarding the disconnection are based on the notes on your account, however it is obvious you do want to be with TalkTalk and I sincerely hope we can regain your trust and give you better service than you have previously experienced. For any further queries, please visit the TalkTalk Helpdesk for answers to common broadband and landline questions. Alternatively, you can contact us by telephone on 0870 444 1820. Calls to this number are free from your TalkTalk landline.

CALLS TO THIS NUMBER ARE FREE FROM YOUR TALK TALK LAND LINE!!! was he trying to piss me off further? ..... I replied

Dear Amraize,

I last spoke to you, via email on the 3rd June re me getting back in touch with Talk Talk via my neighbours phone & being given ref No NL10330467 to reconnect me to my Essentials package that I NEVER requested to be disconnected from in the 1st place (no matter which of the 10 customer service operators I spoke to on May 24th put on my on screen info!!) last time I spoke to you I said the last lady customer services I spoke to said she would put on my account that I would NOT be charged the £69.99 reconnection fee as I NEVER requested to be Disconnected in 1st place!! 

It was discussed as an option re broadband non compatibility problems with my PC but dismissed as not an option as I didn't want to lose my brilliant 01727 84 85 80 number that's on all my printed up CV's and on all my work agency details etc, she also said she would endeavor to get me back my original number, as it was due to a Talk Talks operator mistake I had lost it, and would call me back on my mobile in 1-2 days to confirm that that info was on my on screen info for ref NL10330567 as it takes 24hrs to be logged in system, you may be surprised to hear (I'm Not) that she didn't call me back on my mobile after 1-2 days in fact 10days later she still hasn't (despite me asking her to promise to several times, after saying to her, that so far EVERY Talk Talk customer service person who'd promised to call me back on my mobile/home phone, the next day, after hearing all past customer service people, who promised this before, NEVER had) 

Today I waited in for the engineer to come in & connect line etc as today is my new go live day, he was confused by your instructions to connect line but give no dial tone, as that's normally for work premises that want broadband but no telephone number, which is not the case, as I want to be reconnected to my same essentials phone & broadband package which I was wrongly disconnected from in the 1st place!!..... he said he also had no number assigned for my phone which he also thought odd, but after hearing my experiences with Talk Talk Thus far he said maybe it was because Talk Talk intended to reconnect my old number to my line (I wish I had as much optimism re Talk Talks actions as he has) maybe he thought that was why he was asked to give me no dial tone at the mo & as of yet no live broadband (though he said it may take 1hr to come through) so maybe you can enlighten me as to what exactly is going on & why was he informed NOT to give me a dialing tone etc??? you say in last email about hopefully me regaining trust in Talk Talk I'm not feeling it Thus far!!

2days later my phone line & broadband came back on, but I did NOT get my old number & was given a less memorable one (typical) I thought that was the end of the HELL, Talk Talk put me through ..... but no oh no it gets much worse, much worse, as you will see in due time, suffice to say every time I hear the "Neon Rainbow" song, I want to punch the TV screen. 


May 26th I had a Meal with *Jeff in local Italian Restaurant in a khaki bejeweled Riess dress I'd bought the day before, with the credit note gift he'd given me, he was really good company & we talked on every subject under the sun, but I still didn't feel a romantic vibe, more one of friendship, but it was only a 1st date as such.
The Dress in Black so you can see Detail
The  Dress
May 27th I went to The Orange Tree Totteridge with one of my best male friends Mike, who I have known ever since he tried to pull me when I was 21yrs, When I was a Marilyn Monroe look-alike, Assistant Manager of a Bar Called Marilyns, wearing the white 7year Itch dress. We were meeting up with mutual friend Gemma who we'd not seen for a few years (I was going to go on Ch4's "Coach Trip" with Gemma until they changed our dates for joining coach & Gemma couldn't do due to work commitments)

The Orange Tree
Gemma & I

Mike & I met Gemma's newish Egyptian boyfriend, who is a surgeon not quite what we imagined, but a good night was had & we said we must meet up more often, Gemma also said her trademark shocking pink was going back into her hair.

May 29th & I was having a Costa Coffee in The Maltins St Albans after running a few errands when *Jeff called & said what was I doing? I told him & he said he'd see me at Costa's in 5 mins, he rolled up saying he'd done brilliantly business wise that day & we were going shopping. Then whisked me into Jane Norman spending over £70 on me then into FCUK to get the White Morand style cap sleeved shift dress I loved (as seen recently on Kerry Katona) but the only one in my size so the manager said she would phone around to try get it for me. Then he whisked me off to one of my fave shoe shops Kurt Geiger & I couldn't decide between a blingy flat pair of thong sandals £96 or a bling pair of killer heels £120 (below)....... so he got me both!!.....BLIMEY!!!!

The £96 Thong Sandals SO COMFY!!

May 29th watched Eurovision alone for the 1st time in years (disappointed with winner yet again!!) normally I am at either Nat & Terry's, or Richards for a Campfest of A Eurovision Party, their Party's are Legendary!! There is always a fancy dress theme, such as past winners (I went as Dana International) "Viva La Diva" one year sewing loads of feathers on a shrug to make my copy of his/her Jean-Paul Gautier outfit, and in a air stewardess outfit one year to support (Scooch) "Flying The Flag" Candy went as Sandy Shaw.

One year the theme was Country's (I went as "Turkish De Fright", for Turkey in Belly dance outfit) my Post Pregnant best friend Candy went as "Biggy Bardot" For France & Nat & Terry went as "Frank & Ferta" for Germany, or a Eurotrash theme, which was a funny one. We all get score sheets & you score out of 10 for song, dance routine, costume, and lyrics (there is cefax 888 for lyrics in English if not sung in English) points are deducted from final score for pit flashing in dance routine a covered pit (-2) a bare pit (-4) a bare hairy pit (-8) There is a buffet of food from all the country's entered, plus a punch with booze from each country entered. 

Then there is the Drag Queen waitress who enters at start of each song, with a tray with smallish tumbler glasses of the drink of the country singing, (Wine for France, Oozo Greece, Shcnapps Poland, Vodka Russia you get the idea) which you must drink by time song ends or do a forfeit, then at the end there is a Marque to dance in with CD's playing on random of all past Eurovision hits... It's great fun & anyone who poo poo's Eurovision should try it, they may grow to love Eurovision. One of my Fave Eurovision tracks was from the year Scooch was our entry, it was "Drama Queen" by DQ the fact it didn't make it past the semi's was a travesty it should of won!!


June 7th & I auditioned with my friends Ian Man, Polly Furse, Nerissa Cole, Paul Wilder & Bob Davies & a few others for a New show by the makers of Pineapple Dance Studio's called Louie Spence's Showbusiness (look out for it on Sky1 from Jan 2011) we would be followed by their cameras from June until Dec.... 

The Showbusiness Gang
Let me take you to a Gay Bar, Gay Bar
The Man Himself & The Show!!

We were successful, we all went out for a celebratory drink at Ku Bar & then Polly, Ian & I kept going hitting the Soho Gay Bars, such as The Friendly Society, Retro Bar (above) & the Yard, ending up with me crashing at Ian's, the next morning I set off to Audition for BBC1's John Bishops Britain........ Got the gig!!

Ku Bar
Friendly Society Soho
Retro Bar
The Yard

13th June *Jeff took me out shopping for my Ascot Hat for my Birthday & I found a fab big cream one for £90 in Debenhams, he said to find myself a dress for the event over the next few days & he'd pay for it, I said he didn't have to but he insisted. The next day I found two both cost £30 & I didn't know whether to go for the black or the purple one? I called him to see if he was about to choose for me? He said he wasn't but as they were cheap to get both & he'd reimburse me when he next saw me.

15th  June Filming for Louie Spences Showbusiness begins at a Extras House Party round Nerissa's, I had a bit of a laugh with lovely Bob Davies, during the 5+ hours of filming. John Bishops Britain called my mobile re my dates for filming, while I was being filmed by Pulse, saying they wanted to film me for the show on Thursday June 17th in London.

16th June I went to the black book Industry Networking Party, at the Mayfair Millennium Hotel, in Grovenor Square, with Ian Mann (who left early) and ended up talking for ages to the lovely Adrian Mills from "That's Life" His wife is a lucky lady, he is funny, charming, intellegent & handsome (not often can I say that about an older man) and looks years younger than his age. 

The Millennium Hotel
Adrian Mills
17th June Filmed my part for John Bishops Britain in The Victoria Pub Paddington (below) in a little black cocktail dress, on a gloriously Hot Day dragging my suitcase for my stay at Nat & Terry's & My Huge Ascot Hatbox up & down untold escalators & staircases .... Got to Nat & Terry's hrs later & crashed out shattered.

18th June Candy Nat & I went to Royal Ascot (A Yearly Tradition for my Birthday) getting the train from Waterloo, The weather was chilly & overcast, a complete change from the glorious weather the day before. Then just before it got rainy (just before 2 last races) we got chatting to a group of guys, who were in the hospitality marque & they sneaked us in with their passes & we enjoyed the free bar & free food (Result) we then went on a pub crawl with them, round Ascot after the races had finished, 

Candy & I on Train to Ascot
With Nat & Candy In Hospitality
The Lads

The next day was freezing & raining & I went on a Walthemstow Historic Walk with Nat & Terry, during the day & then in the evening there was a mass Gay Gathering round the house for an inside (due to weather) BBQ party, to herald in my Birthday at 12 midnight, my Fab Pink Posse sang me Happy Birthday!! & then "Viva La Diva" blasted out (my theme tune lol) & we danced round the kitchen singing our lungs out!!

20th June My 46th Birthday was spent chilled at Nat & Terry's then in the Evening the Pink Posse & I trawled the Walthemstow Gay Bars, then Karaoke'd like demons possessed

Things went pretty quiet for a while & spent a very sunny June 27th in my garden chair & with a picnic in my bag, sat in St Albans, High St, enjoying the St Albans Music Festival, Paul Young & his country & western band were among the 5 acts playing.

1st July I saw Shreck in 3D with Ian Mann at the imax (excellent)

2nd July I was on Big Brothers Big mouth with my lovely & beautiful friend Miriam Virgo (who has a book out at the moment "The Naked Truth" see below, well worth a read) We were even filmed for a blog for OK Magazine. (Yellow link below) I discovered I had 1 person slagging me off on digital spy, saying who is that irritating blonde in the front with her friend?, about 30-40yrs with hair extensions... PML as insults go it was a compliment, being described as about 30-40yrs at 46yrs lol            


3rd July *Jeff called he sounded real down & I felt so sorry for him he is going through absolute hell with his divorce. I really feel for him he is a decent guy & doesn't deserve it.

9th July went for a drink with *Jeff he seemed more upbeat, but you can see what his soon to be ex wife is putting him through, he is looking haggard, with bags under eyes & he is getting very thin & looks as though he is shrinking in height too, he goes out of his way for her but she uses every opportunity to twist the knife & she is the one that went off with someone else, not him. He is also looking very twitchy & nervy his eyes always scanning the place (looking out for his soon to be ex wife or her friends??) He seemed to have foggoten about saying hed pay for the two dresses I got (which cost me £60 I couldn't afford to spend) But I didn't bring it up.

I think this nervousness & him lacking in confidence (down to being pussy whipped by the wife) plus his lack of height & shrinking build is why, I think I will never see him as sexy & as anything more than a friend, despite the fact I know he would be a kind, considerate, caring, generous partner, some woman one day will be lucky to have him.  

11th July I did a casting in Knightsbridge, for Models Of diversity as the woman who runs it Angel said she wanted me for Front of House Model, for a Celebrity Launch Night for M.O.D

16th July filmed a Pop Video for Chase & Status for their NEW single "Let You Go" Ian, Nerissa & I were in Chat Show Scenes (we are shown a lot, I'm in Red Dress) & Ian & I were in club scene too but its all out of focus so you can only see main character "Patrick Chase"clearly. Patrick Chase is played by Glen Carter (Jersey Boys) the video was a hoot to make it was like one of those Jerry Springer/Jeremy Kyle type shows, so the on stage characters were accusing each other of all sorts off the cuff, most of it filthy & very funny. This was also filmed by Pulse for Sky 1's Louie Spences Showbusiness.
Trio Of trouble, Ian, Nerissa & I
Patrick Chase Groupies

 The Chase & Status Video "Let You Go"

Click on the video link (above) to see the video with Ian, Nerissa & I in it, I'm in the red dress, Nerissa in Orange & Ian in the Check shirt, I love the song & the video concept myself!

19th July Auditioned for the part of a sexually frustrated 40 something woman, (typecasting?) in the Black comedy "Footless Men", they said I was the only one who had memorised their lines & not used the script (hope that's a plus point)

July 25th  I was being interviewed by my friend Polly Russell Furse for the Pilot of her Chat Show "Polly Puts The Kettle On" which was also filmed by the Louie Spence Showbusiness, Pulse Crew & part of it was used to make Polly's Show Reel, I was filmed being transformed into my alter ego Evil Barbie & talking about the auditions at Pineapple Dance Studio's for NEW Ken-Dolls. Nerissa was given a make over & Paul Wilder about his Book "My Quest For TV Fame" My Amazingly Talented friend MadSid McMad made me an amazing Beehive with side Ponytail Wig & did my Face Art. Sid is wonderfully creative with both his face art, as you will see when I dedicate a blog to him, when I get a moment, and his wigs are equally creative. 

Sid works at The Gay Club, Club DV8 in Birmingham, right on the corner of Kent Street and Lower Essex Street, bang in the middle of Birmingham’s Gay Village, just 5 minutes walk away from Birmingham New Street Station where he is a Club Host, he is the most lovely guy you could possibly hope to meet & is very modest for a Creative Genius. He sells his Amazing Drag Wigs on Ebay the link is below in YELLOW , for those of you interested in acquiring some, I highly recomend them.

Sids Amazing Face Art
Sids Amazing Wig
With The Genius himself  MadSid McMad

Chatted with Andy (while being filmed by Pulse) who is setting up his own TV network & suggested  he gives MadSid McMad his own show, showcasing his face art & wigs. Andy and his female side-kick loved the idea so the wheels are being set in motion. I believe one day MadSid McMad will be a household name. If not I will go to my grave trying to make it so!!

MadSid McMad

For a laugh I decided to keep on the face paint for the train journey home, to see the reaction of the Sunday afternoon commuters!! though the 18" wig was too tall to wear on tube & train & didn't want to risk damaging it but it was fun!!.... even with my greased down wig flattened hair, I also got bought a drink when I walked past a pub in St Albans like it!''
Marilyn Manson Eat Your Heart Out
Train Victim

July 27th & I test out a Quiz Show Gogglebox due to be shown on Ch 4 Some time in the future.....

July 28th the Horror of Talk Talk continued when I went to my ATM to take out cash for travel to London to Party with Anthony Kavanah & My friend Linda on the 29th of July & my Gay Pals Housewarming on the 30th, only to find instead of being a few £100 in credit I was in fact £150+ overdrawn (I have never been overdrawn in my life!!) it turns out despite Talk Talk promising that I would not be charged the £69.99 reconnection fee (as I never requested them to disconnect me in the 1st place!!) They took £80+ from my account for reconnection, meaning when a few small direct debits came out unbeknown to me I went overdrawn & was charged £5 a day, by my bank, for each day I was unknowingly overdrawn, until July 28th I was fuming & Called Talk Talk Customer Services (being cut off several times as usual & having to re go over it again & again to different nations) I was told they could not transfer the money WRONGLY taken from my account, back into my account!! (why? they had no problem removing it, when it wasn't theirs to remove!!) but they would credit my account the amount!! HOW F*#KING KIND OF THEM !!!....NOT!!! that did fuck all to help my overdraft they bloody caused!!! 

So that meant I had to miss two party's in London as until my next lot of £££ cleared in my bank I had bugger all £££ for food let alone travel fares. I FUCKING HATE TALK TALK, I RECOMMEND THAT IF ANY OF YOU READING THIS BLOG ARE THINKING OF CHANGING TO TALK TALK, FOR GOD'S SAKE DON'T THEY ARE A BUNCH OF COWBOY CU#TS!!!



August 1st I spent the day filming a Short Independent British Film "Losing It" (which is to be entered at Cannes) it was shot in Brick Lane. I was playing one of the IMP's in a rather unfetching boiler suit, I'd run into the Producer Angus Gafraidh, en route to the studio & he seemed to take a shine to me, Only taking me & one other actor off for a drink, in the pub after, with some of the crew. He said he would send me a DVD of the film when finished & an invite to the Premier.
Feeling IMPish
Some more of the cast

July 4th & I got a call re an all singing, all dancing game show for Ch 5 & my team of Ian Mann & my (ballet trained) model friend Jennie Mitchell & I are in the running ....good the prize is 10K

Jennie Mitchell

August 5th I was contacted re playing either a Zombie or Trophy Wife, in a Zombie movie called Houseparty Of The Dead 6 & I also got another call re a new Ch4 show "Beauty & The Beast", plus a message from someone at ITV, I returned call & left message on answerphone, I was also contacted about being the voice of a Deviant Cartoon Cat, called  Cat Of Nine Tails, for Badeyedeer cartoons which looks funny & interesting & kind of Ren & Stimpy dark humour!!

August 7th I was meant to go to Borehamwood to be filmed by the Pulse Showbusiness crew, supporting my friend Paul Wilder at his book signing, but had to cancel as it was my new nephew Alex's christening on the 8th & my sister said she was picking me up on the 6th to drive to hers to stay the night & then up to Sheffield on the morning before the Christening (today!!)

The signing

August 8th and the christening of Alex Daniel Philip Smith went off without a hitch, not even a cry when he was doused with the holy water, he is so good I only saw him for the 1st time on the 7th when we arrived, as Bill & his wife Karen live so far away, so not easy to get to see them. Erdal my brother-in-law mixed me 9 Turkish, Latin & UK/USA CD's (he use to be a DJ in Turkey) when I stayed the night at their's on the 6th 

August 10th Zombie/Miranda audition (also filmed by Pulse for Louie Spences Showbusiness) I learnt the 5 lines on the script, but only had to say one (the least emotive of the lot) where in it the script only says Miranda has a sad face, as she says the lines, which I found confusing as one of her two daughters has turned into a zombie & her husband has just been killed (I assumed the character Miranda must of become numbed to the horror around her, if she was just sad looking & not ranting and screaming) also I was to act as if I was being slowly surrounded by Zombies, I looked afraid but didn't let out any blood curdling screams, I thought after maybe I should have, but I read the entire script & although other female characters screamed Miranda never did!!.... 

Then we had to do an improv scene with me & the leading man (Brad Moore) our daughter was meant to be going to a friends birthday party, and he wants me to take her as he wants to play golf & I want him to do it as I want to shop & do lunch with the lady's, the scene was making everyone laugh & the director said that was a sitcom in itself!! & The Sky1 Pulse crew said it was Brilliant!! & that Improvisation was definitely my strength & they loved it. Then they filmed me asking me how I felt it went? I was honest & said if it was down to the improv then maybe, but if it's down to the cold read I'd say no!!.... I didn't know enough about character (why she was only sad at husbands death & child turning into zombie, or why she never screamed in script) I needed to have her back story when I got the script, to know her motivation, to put on a credible performance. The entire thing lasted 10-15mins cold, so no chance to warm myself into her character which I knew nothing about. If I'd done the cold read after improv it may have been better.

August 11th was spent with my best friend Candy & her two sons, Tiger & Xavier swimming in & relaxing around The Lido, at The Grove Herts, The England Football Team were there, as they often are, before a match, it was a lovely sunny day but a few clouds spoilt it a tad.

The Grove
August 17th I played The Cougar in a new Game show to be commissioned for ITV called "The One" great fun, among the other people was Graham (he played the millionaire) who has been on "Four Weddings" with his fellow naturist wife, who also on "Coach Trip" & was one of the group of hopefuls waiting to go into the Big Brother 11 house at the start of Big Brother this year, which made me laugh as 2 of my friends cant stand him! Then I was off to film the The Late List a topical show that I think is going to be aired on Ch5, with Cudge (Mark Cullinan) who was also on "The One" with me (playing the taxi driver)

Cool Kid & The Cougar on "The One"
August 19th I auditioned for Dating Show, "Take Me Out" which was great fun & so you are now up to date with the highs & lows, of my year so far, tomorrow I will be filming the Zombie movie & from then on my blogs will be daily or weekly & not long ones like this, but for now I am off to put the finishing touches to my Donkey for my friends Daughters Birthday....... So that's it for 2010 up to mid August for the rest you will have to keep reading!!......Ciao for now!!

Off To My Friends Daughters 2nd Birthday 
With The Finished Donkey!!


  1. Anyone wishing to comment on blogs its best to click follow with google friend connect button (top of follow box on top right)I have heard many are having problems commenting......