Saturday, 11 September 2010

Cats & Dogs but I'm kissing No Frogs!!

Monday 6th Sept, and I woke at 8.30am in pain, the base of my spine (my Coccyx ) is extremely painful, which means it's going to rain today. I got a hairline fracture in my Coccyx, when I had a bad fall at just 11yrs old & it now has rheumatoid arthritis in it (how sexy!!!....NOT!!) so it plays up whenever the weather is cold & damp!!... it looked very warm & sunny out but I know thanks to the pain that won't last long, and soon it would be raining Cats & Dogs !!

Went through the Ken-Dolls Auditionee's on Star Now & on Facebook group & in my inbox, some more interesting entrants.

Then at noon I took the Dogs (2 Labradors & a Husky) to the park which was baking hot, I was sweating even though I was wearing my D&G jersey camisole top with a kitten on the front that looks just like my Cat Amy (who sadly died exactly 6 months after my mum) when she was a kitten, plus black cotton jersey leggings. I got a light sprinkling of rain on me in the sunshine as I walked home (hmmm that doesn't seem much for this pain! I thought) got in & sent out a few CV's to jobs I was interested in & popped out to Tescos, for some Sushi etc, It was now decidedly colder out, even though I was now also in my jersey waterfall front cardigan too & the sky was dark with rain clouds, a complete contrast to earlier & now looking well worthy of my extreme pain, I had found myself in.

Candie texted me & said to come over to hers Thurs/Fri if I'm free, which I was, so now she could come out with me & Sammy Friday night, in Mayfair, if she gets a babysitter. It poured with rain from 6pm until the wee hrs, (what my pain was warning me of) lets hope tomorrow is sunny again! watched Come Dine With Me, Big Brother Special, which was amusing, but although Brian Belo & Sophie Reade are sweethearts, their lack of intellect & knowledge is jaw dropping, Sophie didn't know what Parmesan, Courgettes or Asparagus were & asked where potatoes came from & if they grew on tree's?, plus she was unaware mincemeat was used to make burgers (luckily she didn't buy the sort of fruit mincemeat, that you get in Xmas mince pies!!)  also she & Brian pronounced Sorbet as (SORE-BIT) she also used a spatula to mix the recipe ingredients with, instead of a wooden spoon, not that unlike Brian Belo trying to get juice from a lemon by squashing it in a jug with a potato masher, and he didn't even suss that he needed water added to his ingredients to make his soup (and they say they are not dumbing down exams) how they  both got through school not knowing these simple things is a mystery!????
Watched ultimate big Brother After, Glad one of my Fave Gay housemates Brian Dowling is still in, I Met him in a Bar in Soho once, on the queens jubilee, lovely guy & a lot Taller than he looks on TV. But Gutted my two Gay BB buddies Richard (AKA Dicky) & Gerry are not in there, they would of been hysterical they really should have done a "GAY Ultimate Big Brother" full off all the past Gay or Transsexual housemates, that would be a very funny bitchfest!!

Tuesday 7th Sept & I woke at 8.20am with bad pain in my Coccyx yet again, it shoots out from the base of my spin in a V to my two hip bones, and when I pulled back the curtains, there were the looming rain clouds, Bloody Damp English Weather, that's why I love Dubai & Turkey both hot & arid with no damp humidity, I feel 10-20yrs younger whenever I'm in either of those country's, I LOVE dry heat, I love HOT weather, last time I was in Dubai, in June, it was 50C in the day (130F) and 38C at 11pm at night (106F) PERFECT!!!.. Also Dubai unlike most Hot Country's (Turkey inc) has a sea the temp of bath water, so your not going from hot to cold when you pop into the sea to cool off, but because its still a lot cooler than the heat of the sun its still cooling, there are some great restaurants there too, love sea food & Mediterranean/Middle Eastern food.
At The Dubai Marina
Flying The Flag, In The Warm Dubai Sea - Lovely!!

Looked through more of the band member applicants from Star Now, my Facebook audition group & from my emails, while Thunder & Lightning raged outside, as it threw down Torrential Rain by the bucket load! then I cooked some fresh King Prawns in an array of different spices & laid on a bed of wilted Spinach, drizzled with a warmed Balsamic dressing & sprinkled with Pine Nuts, yum!! then sorted some more of my items in the back room out, while the weather is whey too vile to go out!!

By 2.30pm the weather had changed to glorious sunshine (a kind of reverse of yesterdays weather) so I popped out and had a manicure, as my nails are growing so quick at the moment they were over 2" long so had  1cm cut off too & had them painted a neon orange, I like a wacky colour every now & then, got called by SHINE TV re filming a game show pilot on Thursday, but I already had plans with Candie so I declined.  

Looked round TK Max some nice things in & also Jane Norman, some lovely new items! then popped into New Look as I had £10 in Gift vouchers & got a lovely diamante bracelet that fastens like a belt (I have very slim wrists so its not often I can find a bracelet or watch that fits snug on my wrist this one did on tightest setting, asked about the Peacock Feather necklace I have been after & was told it would be in soon.
Had a look round River Island they have two variations on the Panda bobble hat I got 2 winters ago, love that hat (even though the ears should be black if its a Panda!!) they have some lovely tops in River Island & New Look at the moment too!!... shame I am not cash rich at the moment, but I have 100's of tops anyway!

My River Island Panda Hat

The New Version

Set off to my Acupuncture appointment at 4pm, it was still hot & sunny but with a light rain shower at same time, our weather continues to be as weird as always. Had my Acupuncture. I have neck problems after being in 7 car crashes, I was a passenger in all 7 crashes, 3 were on the same night Princess Diana had her fatal car crash, one was even at exactly the same time (my friend who's car I was in & I commented at the time, how it was as if all the drivers on the road had gone crazy that night, like a full moon madness) none of the 7 accidents, were the fault of the drivers of the car I was in at the time, it was always the other cars, drunk drivers & joy riders going through red lights, foreign drivers looking the wrong way before pulling out (due to being used to driving on opposite side of road) or animals/small kids running out into road without looking, from between parked cars only visable at last moment & our car having to swerve & lose control, I had 15 stitches in my head & 5 in my leg from one accident, my friends say I am so unlucky, but I think I am very lucky to have been in 7 car crashes & still be here, be able bodied & with no visible scars!!

Can't wait for Celebrity Juice's New Show to start on Thursday, I love Leigh Frances AKA Keith Lemon, The Bear, Avid Merrion, and a host of other Characters on Bo'Selecta, he has the same warped sense of humour of my friends & I, he went out on the razzle recently & got pissed with the guy who plays The Tree Of Temptation on Big Brother (Daniel Nettleton) not sure who I am more jealous of, I'd love to go on the razzle with those two!..... what a night that would be hysterical !!
Daniel AKA The Tree
Keith Lemon
As The Bear
As Avid Merrion
As Craig David on Bo'Selecta

Watched "This Is England 86" on Ch4 at 10pm after Ultimate big Brother, I hoped it would be better than the Film "This Is England" which to be honest bored me shitless, I never really understood how it won so many awards, when it managed to be so boring, despite copious amounts of violence, I found none of the characters likable or relatable to. Sadly the 1st of the 4 part TV adaptation was equally dull, at best it reminded me of the fashions I wore at art college, other than that, it was dullsville for me! maybe I just cant relate to it, as I have never hung about with that type of scummy drug addicts, off of rough council estates! I can honestly say that wasn't my England thank god! It certainly was nothing like 1986 for me, fresh from Art College & full of fun, excitement & adventure & positivity, none of the depressing gloom of this TV show

This Is England
This Is England 86

Wed 8th Sept  & the day started grey & dismal which made my 11am Fitness 1st Running Club, less enjoyable than it is when sunny, but thanks to the girls still fun.  Had a long soak in the bath after & was looking forward to "8 Out Of 10 Cats Big Brother Special" Tonight & wondering which of the Ex housemates will be on? Had to re plan my wardrobe as the weather has changed since I decided what I wanted to wear Monday (an Orange Jersey Summer Dress, to go with nails) so instead it was a long black jersey camisole over black wet look leggings a Draped Cream Roman/Toga style top with diamante trim some bling jewelery & black lace-up Victorian style Carvela ankle boots & my leopard print trench-coat (very Bette Lynch!!) curled my hair & added a few clip in curly hair extensions & set off at 4.30pm, my umbrella in my Salvador Ferregamo handbag just in case!!

Got a train from St Albans into Kings Cross & then caught the Victoria line tube to Oxford Circus & then got the Central Line to White City where I met Ian & his Lovely Aussie friend Nick Gentile (yes that's his real name) & we all eyed up the hot guys in the numerous queues, typically the Beeb (it's filmed in BBC studios despite being shown on Ch4) were totally disorganised & nobody seemed to know what queue was for what TV show (Strictly Come Dancing, The Michael Ball Show, 8 out of 10 Cat's etc) nor which queue was for people with priority tickets like ours were. Eventually we were placed in correct spot & eventually we got our luminous green wrist bands that indicated we were priority. Then we were ushered through a Airport Security like arch, while my bag was x-rayed & we walked up a flight of stairs & Ian & I posed for a pic in front of The Tardis (we are both sci-fi nuts) and once again in front of a Dr Who Canvas, then before we could even have a pee, or buy a drink from the cafe area, which we had just been guided straight through, en route to the studio.

we were guided to our seats half way up the Beecher seating, bang centre, the warm up guy came on who was quite entertaining & ripping the piss out of a few audience members, then out came a very dapper & handsome Jimmy Carr (I LOVE Jimmy Carr) he has all the elements I look for in a guy.... funny, sarcastic & a good dresser (helps if a guys taller than me too) he introduced his team captains Sean Lock & Jason Manford & their team mates, Sean's BB housemate was Brian Belo & Jason's was Josie, to their left were Ex housemates John James, Eugine, Mario Marconi, Samanda, Makosi & my arch Nemesis, Aisleyne Horgan-Wallace, who put me through hell for nothing, just after my mum died & made me out of pocket for £45 & gave me the night from hell, inc 8hrs of traveling home, due to her wrongly mistaking me for her *supposed* stalker (despite me having ID to prove I was NOT Jane Brooke, plus the fact Jane has BROWN eyes & mine are BLUE, but that's another blog) suffice to say I'm not a fan anymore of the jumped up little madam!!!..... maybe she should know herself!!!
Sean, Jimmy & Jason

The show started & Sean & Jimmy were deliciously cruel in their satirical jokes/piss-takes, mostly aimed at Makosi, Mario & Brian Belo, bringing Makosi to tears when some were directed at Nadia, Jimmy said he didn't care that she was crying, as he had money on Makosi Walking in the sweepstakes anyway (after her doing so due to question from Sean's New Zealand team mate on Big Brothers Big Mouth last week) The filming went way over time, due to Brian Belo often going off on a tangent on one story or another (most not even interesting, let alone amusing or with a punch line ending) which had Ian's friend Nick muttering under his breath "Shut the fuck up Brian!!" although he did tell us all about him shitting his pants/jeans on a train recently. Apparently he was stood up having a pee in train toilet & thought he was going to let out a fart & instead followed through & shit in his pants & his new  D&G Jeans, which cost him £300 & he was worried he'd ruined them & gave them to his mum to wash, & had tweeted when in train loo asking followers what to do!!!... you couldn't make it up!! after that Jimmy was asking if there were any females in the audience that would be interested in dating single Brian?....errrr NO!!!  But I would date Jimmy in a heartbeat, I definitely find him attractive, though not exactly classically, so that plus his humour, makes him a hell yes!!
It was obvious from Josie's demeanor that she was smitten with her John James (I'm very pleased for them) & obviously very happy, and she teased him every now & then from her seat on Jason's team, though I expected her to a bit more loud & funny than she actually was, mind you it was hard to get a word in with motor mouth Brian going on & on, let alone the comedian team panelists & host Jimmy. in one break Jimmy came up close to where we were but to the right of us to check out some woman who said she would date Brian (even after train incident story) & some lucky bugger managed to grab him to have a photo with before he had to go back to the stage. I was dying for the loo to spend a penny, plus so thirsty I was spitting feathers & while runners pandered to the ex housemates giving them water, none was offered to the parched audience. Jimmy made a quip about how much editing the show would need due to Brian's ramblings.

When the show was over we were ushered out at 10.30pm without a toilet en route (my back teeth were now floating) we were also hungry & thirsty (I'd not eaten since I had muesli for breakfast) so we popped to a Tesco Metro that was open & I got a Smoked Salmon & Cream Cheese Sandwich, Salt & Vinegar McCains Crisps & a bottle of caffeine free diet coke & managed to use a loo in the foyer of another BBC building, then Ian, Nick & I headed off to the tube, my feet killing me (normally the Carvela boots I was wearing were ultra comfy, but they were rubbing my heals, I am sure that when I put on weight after mum died uneectedly, my feet gained about half a size!!)

The tube journey was fine except for a black Muslim woman was sitting opposite me with one of those headscarves that go over their head & down to just below their chest, no problem with that, except for the fact that she was picking her nose & then wiping the bogie's/snot down the left side of her headdress, at chest level & there was a crusty runway all down that side ughh!! (thats just snot funny!!) I got on my slow train to St Albans, sat next to two American men, at Kentish Town a young guy in a suit got on, talking to his friend on the phone saying "No I don't want to go out with her, but I didn't want anyone else having her!!" obviously having copped off with someone, what a typical guy thing to say, you'd never hear a female say that about a guy (the closest equivalent for a woman is "if I can't have him, I don't want any of them bitches getting their claws into him!!") he continued "It's like your car, you love the look of it, but know you can't really afford to run it!!" had to laugh (I love eavesdropping at times)

Sat to my right in the train carriage was a very talented card magician who's various card shuffles were an art form in itself!! he got off at West Hamstead & a French Guy called Pepe (I'm assuming his surname was Le Pew, as he reaked to high heaven of BO & Garlic) got on, and took the magicians seat, he then decided he'd taken a shine to me & was doing the full on seduction bit, in his thick French accent, now I can see how a French accent on a woman is sexy, but the Male French accent to me sounds like some guy trying to clear catarrh & phlegm from his throat!! To be fare to him he wasn't unattractive, or badly dressed, but even if I could overlook that thick accent, I couldn't ever overlook that vile stench, the BO even overpowered the garlic, so I was horrified when he moved in for a kiss, in spite of the fact that I hadn't flirted back with him! fortunately he moved in for the kill just as the train stopped at St Albans & I managed to swerve it & exit pronto! (he was getting off at Bedford I was detarmined he wouldn't be getting off with me before then!) I know your supposed to Kiss a lot of Frogs before you meet your Prince, but I didn't care if it meant that my Prince would be one step closer..... I was NOT kissing that Frog!! (anyway knowing my luck, my Prince would probably turn up on four legs, with a wet nose & a love of bones, while I'm out in the park!!) got home & ripped off my boots to find two blisters the size of a 50 pence piece OUCH!!!.....

I got in & caught the last BBBM on E4 +1 and at the end Saw Mario & Lisa dancing on a pedestal at the end, he must of driven there straight from 8 out of 10 Cat's, bugger if I'd of known I'd of bummed a lift home as the studio is near by & it would of been a lot quicker than my 2 tubes a train & a 20 min walk!! sent Mario a FB message & Tweet, to say I saw him on both & I would of bummed a lift if I'd known he was off to Elstree too.
Pepe Le Pew

Thurday 9th Sept & I woke at 9.30am despite not falling asleep until after 6am (bloody insomnia!!) busy day ahead so no time for gym but I went up the park with Aku (Husky) and spent 45mins running around, saw two gorgeous Old English Sheepdog's & went  up to them for a cuddle & stroke, chatted to the owner, I love Old English Sheepdog's (or Dulux Dog's as they use to be known) my friend in Warninglid, when I lived in West Sussex had one, I loved it & seeing them took me straight back in time to the 1980's. I haven't seen one of those dogs in the flesh for at least 20yrs, on the way back home  the cute builder in his mid to late 20's who always comes out to chat to me said hello, it was hot & sunny out but rainclouds were already looming!!

Packed my case with clothes to chill at Candies with & 3 dresses for our girls night out Friday (3 different types to depend on how weather would be as its so changeable at the moment!!) checked my hotmail,  facebook & Twitter messages, Mario BB9 had Tweeted me back  "blast... had plenty of room did u enjoy it ? x" After answering messages I set off at 2pm & walked to station & got to Kings Cross where I quickly passed a Tranny was being questioned by a police man, on my way to the tube, don't know why?, maybe for soliciting as its rife around that station. The Transvestite/Transsexual, was in a short black trench coat tied tight at the waist, with I am assuming a mini skirt, or mini dress underneath, flat black plimsolls & either a bad short red wig, or a very bad haircut & dye job, plus dated blue 70's style eye  make-up, how did I know it was a guy not a woman? well the voice & the scrawny Lilly white legs, riddled with varicose veins, NO WOMAN with varicose veins, would ever wear a mini skirt with bare legs, to wear a mini skirt, she'd wear 2 pairs of 80 denier tights, one over the other at the very least!!!.... Got to Candies & let myself in with the spare key & at 3.30pm popped down to the local school to pick up her two boys Tiger & Xavier for her, then later we popped out to the shops to buy a few things inc a Laser Printer/Scanner/ Photocopier for Xavier, which was excellent and under £40 from Argos, which I set up for him after dinner & then it was a chilled evening of Ultimate Big Brother & then watching the "8 out Of 10 Cats" I'd seen filmed the day before, they had cut a hell of a lot out, the jokes were much crueler in live show, Makosi even cried, but you could see that she & Aisleyne, had a face like thunder 90% of time, & fake smiles the other 10%  whenever the camera panned to ex housemates!

My friend Miriam Virgo called me on my mobile at around 10.30pm to see if I was going to the Big Brother send off at Elstree studios at 2pm tomorrow? I said, "No Emma from BBBM has emailed me to come, but I cant make it, as I already had plans, I'm at my friends for a couple of days!!" she said she would email Emma to see if she could have my place. Candie & I watched Jack Dee Live At The Appollo on Comedy Central (I'd seen it before but I LOVE Jack Dee, he's so dry) he reminds me of a shorter version of my Ex Kieron....

Friday 10th Sept, woke at 8am & went downstairs & had breakfast with Candie around 9.30 after she had dropped the kids off at school. She & Costa were going to go for a romantic lunch in Chicconi's in Mayfair & I was going to pick the kids up at 3.30pm for them.

I checked my emails, as I was being messed about by the TV company that was following me, for show on the show biz industry. I was about to start auditioning new band members for my Band, they had said to me that they would like to follow the auditions. I said I had yet to advertise for the new musicians needed & then whittle them down to the few I will audition in a local music studios, probably The Farm Factory we use to use in the old days, with the old band line up (The Farm Factory, 5 Woodfeild Rd, Welwyn Garden City)

They said they would put the auditions on Star Now for me & print any flyer's, if I would come to collect them & also arrange for me to use one of the Pineapple studios to audition in. That all sounded great but I wrote out the audition Ad in July, but it got put on in Sept, for a Sept 23rd audition (wasting a month of time that I could of  been sifting through auditionees) they hadn't got back to me re all the questions I asked them over the past month or so, which was mainly, what time on the 23rd was the studio booked from, for the auditions? would a drum kit be set up for the drummers? as it would be impractical for all the drummers to lug their drums to the studio & waste time setting up their kit & then disassembling it again, which would mean wasting precious audition time, I also asked about amps & speakers for the guitarists & microphones, for those that can do backing vocals (as all of that is available in The Farm Factory studio's for hire, which is why I was thinking of using them!!) I sent another email a few days ago asking for a response yet again, as now auditionee's were applying, they would be asking about such things & I would look an Idiot if I was unable to give them an answer!..... So today finally I got a reply!

Hi June,

Hope you are well and apologies for my delayed responses, we've been manic.

Sorry to let you down on this and I know we said we would follow this but unfortunately everything is clashing and we don't have enough cameras to cover it any longer.

Maybe we can pick this up later on in the run but at the moment I am afraid we are going to have to leave it

Hope you understand but we will be filming you on other items

Which to me is pretty much a Bullshit excuse, I'm sure! as it was a response I was already half expecting!!.... I think the real reason is, is the reason for the long delay & that reason is, the simple fact that they didn't think it through, when they said they wanted to film it & would provide the studio! I don't think they encompassed what exactly a band audition entailed & never gave a thought to the need for Amps, Speakers & a Permanent Drum Kit etc & thought that like a singing audition, all you need would be a room & probably didn't think about the fact that, the majority of guitarists would bring electric guitars, maybe they just had the image of people playing classical acoustic guitars in their mind?..... I am sure it has more to do with the work a audition of this type entails & bugger all to do with camera numbers, if I'm honest. But I will sift through entrants & sort out getting new members my own way!!... then if they want to cover the band when reformed fine!

Decided to do a bit of nostalgic window shopping in Wood Green, to kill time until picking up the Kids at 3.30pm. As I haven't shopped in Wood Green since I lived in Palmers Green & Bounds Green & feel quite nostalgic about the area (boy was I in for a shock) 10years ago a third of Wood Green was White Brits, a third Greek, a third Turkish with a sprinkling of Polish & Black Africans/Jamaicans. There was a mixture of Greek & Turkish Cafes, with the occasional illegal card games in a back room, and as you walked down the road you heard a blend of English, Turkish & Greek chatter & it was always amusing when you heard yourself discussed in Greek or Turkish, knowing they didn't realise you could understand them, (thanks to working as a belly dancer in Turkish & Greek Clubs, when younger, a Greek boyfriend & Greek and Turkish friends)

Walked down to the bottom of Alexandra Palace to catch a W3 to Wood Green, when I got on board, and enquired the price of the return ticked the African Woman driver mumbled something incomprehensible, so I said "I'm sorry what was that again?" to which she replied loudly & agressively "TWO PAND!!" (no please I noted!) paid the £2 & then noticed the whole of the bottom section of the double decker was full with just Somalian women with their kids, all wearing Muslim garb, the top row exactly the same except for one polish woman on her mobile, who had the only spare seat next to her. The next stop was Alexandra Palace nobody was at the stop, but I counted 15 Somalian women in Muslim dress, with their kids on the steps leading up to *Ally Pally (*Alexandra Palace) & I thought "oh maybe there is a Somalian event on, that would explain the bus being full of them", but nobody got off there, and the banner at Ally Pally just advertised a Children's Fair. Every Single stop after that had only Somalian Muslim women & their kids it was quite bizarre.

I got off at Wood Green & had my nostalgia quickly stripped from me, there was hardly any white people at all whether Greek, Turkish, Polish, English or otherwise, it was now little Somalia & I felt like a tourist, it was more Black than Tottenham & I was the ethnic minority there (when I briefly lived their between moves) I'm Not racist, but the dramatic change in 10yrs was a shock to the system & it was the biggest indication I have seen thus far, as to just how bad the immigration situation is thanks to Labours open door policy's. Gone were the quaint Greek & Turkish restaurants & cafe bars, in there place were Halal butchers & Halal Kebab shops, even the old Pizza hut was a Kebab restaurant. The only old days nostalgic food place left, was the Take Away Bagel outlet. The independant shops in the Shopping City had changed too, less of the glitzy clothes stores aimed at the glam Greek gori girls & the Jewish princesses & instead more aimed at Nigerian tastes, there were two shops that sold more of the glitzy stuff reminiscent of the days I ran with my Greek Posse, Hype & *Check Mate (*I shopped here in my gori girl days)  both had the same dress in their window (available in black or red) a clingy short spaghetti strapped number with small rivets (like mini versions you get on Hells Angel biker jackets) on the chest area, the black one on Hypes window & the red one in Check mates almost diagonally opposite, yet Hype were charging £40 for it Check mate £29, that's an £11 mark up in Hype, on top of the mark up Check Mate obviously has already done on theirs, what a rip off!! popped into Burger King For some lunch (A Veggieburger) & again I was the only white face, not even a white staff member, most odd, there was a real cute Jamaican little girl, about 2 yrs old sat in a high chair, with a family at one table, the little girl had a massive Afro, she looked like a cute little doll.

I text my friend Ian to say have fun at the BB Send Off & he called back to say he didn't go as he was hung over & had flatmate problems (dog poo all over the bedroom) she should get a covered cat litter box that has a cat flap like I had for my Cat, as its a small pooch. No smells & no litter or poo kicked all over the floor!

Picked up kids & later when Candie & Costa returned, said to her I was amazed how much Wood Green had changed in just 10yrs, she said she rarely goes there anymore, but told me a story about a friend who went there for the 1st time in years & couldn't quite remember how to get into where in the Shopping City Car park, she'd left her car, so spotting two policemen she asked for some assistance, and they said "we will walk you to your car madam" she said "that's OK just point me in the right direction!" but they were adamant "No madam we will escort you to the vehicle!" Once at her car they asked "Do you come to Wood Green often?" she said she hadn't been in years to which he replied "May I suggest you don't do so again, don't come here, not ever, it's far too dangerous for a nice lady like you!!.... Blimey it has changed!!

I had a wash & washed hair & got done up in Khaki Riess dress & Khaki CK court shoes & set off with Candie to meet my friend Sammy at The London Cocktail Club (6-7 Great Newport Street) events on bus & tube had Candie & I in fits of giggles, including a come on from a very strange man dressed in London Underground Uniform. It freaked Candie out as she had been hit on all week by very random guys, even a guy who came to collect the Ebay items he bought off her left the feedback, "stunning Ebayer xx" which had her in tears of laughter!! Even her husband Costa found it amusing.
We arrived at the very busy, cocktail bar filled with lots of hot totty in a various range of ages & nationality's all well dressed, well groomed, fun, friendly & STRAIGHT (so this is where they have all been hiding!!!) I had a Porn Star Martini & Candie a Black Russian. Found Sammy with her girlys & introduced Candie to them, one of Sammy's Crew was a shy Oriental girl who was about 4ft 6-8" tall, who looked nervously around the place, Candie said she kept expecting her to pull out a small tube out of her pocket & blow poisoned darts into people, which gave me a fit of the giggles, we spent a lot of the time eyeing up the fit talent. So as I haven't had a snog in over 18months (& as I have been celibate for over 2yrs 3months, arggghhhhh!!!!) we thought it's about time I got back in the lip locking action, before getting back in the saddle under the sheets!!.... (but not with a smelly Frog like Pepe)

The Two young barmen in their 20's were flirting outrageously with Candie & I (after bigger tips boys?) Candy stuck with Black Russians, but I went on the Donkey Punches, later Sammy wanted me to down most of her Mojito for her that she'd been bought, as she couldn't handle it (she is only tiny about  5ft 9") but didn't want to say so to drink buyer, we were having a chat and a laugh, then Candie made me tell the vile but funny story of my late Cat Stripe (he died of Leukemia about 12yrs ago) which she thinks is just the funniest story ever! he was found starving outside my house in Bounds Green, & he was like my child always wanting to be near me, I sleep naked & he use to get under the covers & sleep, lying on my tummy with his head between my boobs like pillows & his front paws either side of them, one day he kept fidgeting & I tried to push him down to lay still, when suddenly my tummy was wet, that's when I discovered he was fidgeting because his willy was rubbing against my belly stud, and he'd just cum on me!!! YUCK!!!

We ended up talking to two guys Tim Mitchell & his pal Leland, Candie said "how is Tim getting served? he looks 12" which I told Tim she'd said, Tim said "I'm 22!!" ..... Candy likes older guys & I prefer younger, when we went out back in the good old days when she was single & in her 20's she use to snog 50yr olds even if they were minging & she didn't fancy them, just to horrify me, they bought us some shots & Tim was really hitting on me big time. So as I was up for a snog, to break my snogging famine, I thought why not snog Tim, he's cute plus it would also horrify Candie (as he looks so young for his age) the way her snogging the old codgers use to horrify me, back in the day. So when Tim moved in for the kill, I let him, even though normally I'd never kiss in public & Candies face was a picture, to be fair Tim was a good snog! the barmen were a bit shocked too, as Tim it turned out was their friend!.... Tim was quick to check if I was on Facebook & add me, but it wouldn't allow him, saying I had too many friends, not so, I only have just over 500 I don't add strangers (friend requests probably clogged up again, with over 500 friend requests, haven't checked them this week, I get so many from same people I have already rejected ) then he got my number.

Candie & I got a cab home around 2.15am at 2.45am when we were in the taxi my phone went it was Leland saying Tim was too shy to say it, but had got him to call to ask me to come stay at his in Elephant & Castle, PML I said we were almost home to Muswell Hill & I would not be getting the cab to The Elephant & Castle (what kind of girl did he/they hope I was?) The Elephant & Castle is the last area a girl would want to be alone in in the wee hrs, (worse than Tottenham, and now it appears Wood Green) only Jensen Ackles could coax me out there in the wee hrs even then with difficulty & sweet as Tim was, he's no Jensen!! He called again after I got in, but I quickly switched off phone as not to wake the sleeping kids & Costas.
Jensen Akles

Saturday 11th Sept & Candie was going to give me a lift to Gemma's Party Tonight at the Orange Tree in Totteridge. We watched the repeat of last nights Ultimate BB final (the Lovely Brian Dowling won hurrrahhhh!!) and the BB send off I was invited to.... Damn Gorge George Lamb was hosting it could of got a few more pics of him & past housemates too.

In the day we popped into Sports Direct to get the boys some new trainers, my poor blistered heel's stinging like they had been rubbed in nettles. Later Candie & I chilled watching the start of the NEW "Strictly Come Dancing" (which was being filmed in the other studio, when Ian & I was at 8 Out Of 10 Cats) not much fussed about watching it, to be honest, but Gavin Henson the super fit Rugby Player might keep me tuned in
That and maybe Ann Widdecombe as she is a game old bird, my feet were just so sore, so I wasn't in the party mood, so we just chilled in front of the TV watching Xfactor, then the NEW 71 Degrees North, which again had Gavin Hendson on it, swimming in frozen water (I'd warm him up!!) and the brilliant CSI and then I watched two old episodes of Your Face Or Mine, with the lovely Jimmy Carr again, & June Sarpong they really should recommission that show it's so funny!!....

Sunday 12th Sept was another chilled day with a visit to the Muswell Hill Farmers Market, where I saw the cutest dog, a Pug crossed with a Spaniel, I also saw a hysterical basebal  cap Costa has with a revolving fan in the peak, too cool your forehead powered by a solar panel on the crown, it actually worked & was a good idea for fishing or golfing, but less than attractive, but would of been great for Gemma's Hat themed Birthday Piss Up at The Orange Tree if I'd gone. Headed back home at 4.30pm in readiness for the week ahead. At the station I saw another gorgeous puppy a Golden Labrador & Lassie /Collie Cross, too too cute, got home & Crashed out on the bed!!.... & watched The remake of Bouquet of Barbed Wire (I loved the original) before having an early night!
Bouquet Of Barbed Wire Original
Bouquet Of Barbed Wire Remake


  1. Sorry but a lot of this makes for very uncomfortable reading. You are absolutely obsessed with looks that you no longer have and probably didn't have in the first place...teh guy at KS chatting you up ?? sorry but it reads like a fantasy you were having. All the name dropping ' I know a friend of a friend of..spoke to them once' it is all rather sad and smacks of someone who wants to be famous but knows it's too late so is relying on the fact that they know friends of friends etc..or deliverately tried chatting people up on shows...good god grow up ! Go out into0 the real world and get a real job honey, you talk about Dubai like it is your second home' the last time I was in Dubai' You went ONCE ...and you didn't even bloody well pay for it did you..but you didn't tell anyone that fact. I admit it is fascinating to read all this but for all teh wrong reasons, you big yourself up far too much and should just sit back take a long hard look at the way you are acting and acceopt that you are a middle aged woman with no prosepcts..not because you were ill etc. etc i notice you mention how ill you have been or how your mum died unexpectedly any chance you can purely for the sympathy vote and it's sickening)but because you have ideas above your station and refuse to entertain a normal job as it would be beneath you. I shall continue reading for the sheer humour of your fantasy world.

  2. AHHHHH there you are, I kind of missed you!

    The bit about KS guy (on another blog)is all true, as anyone who works there, or was on the course could tell you.... he ended up fired for sexual harassment & my blog was used in evidence, after he'd harassed several other females.

    BTW how is mentioning my friends & who we know each other through "namedropping"?

    The famous thing I have addressed b4 so wont bother again! by the way its deliberately NOT deliverately! & I chatted up nobody! read properly!

    No Your right I didn't Pay for my Holiday to Dubai,(that's pictured) it was a Birthday Present (So What!!?) and as it appears you know that, so you are obviously someone who knows me, with an "Axe to grind" but yet too gutless to use your own name & have used a pseudonym instead, which is both cowardly & more sad than your, accusing me of being! Or someone who has got a bit of info off my Myspace & based their opinions on that (Whatever!)

    I Don't need a sympathy vote, as I am not sorry for myself, just for my mum & for you too, for all the bitter bile you need to keep spewing (maybe you should have your Gallbladder removed & all your bile with it!)

    Anyway nice to know your still alive & kicking!
    Keep taking the venom!

  3. Simply love this blog and the lady herself is very easy on the eye too. Keep doing what you're doing June. You obviously put an awaful lot of work into it and and it's a joy to read. xxx

  4. oh glp goddess how you make me laugh i love your comments so much more than i love junes blogs please dont stop posting them as junes blogs would be so boring without your comments at the end and june maybe if you remembered to put your teeth in and get rid of that manky old wig you might get yourself a life!!!! how is life in the old folks home i bet youve tried it on with all the inmates grandchildren i bet they cant resist such an old pathetic famehungry old dear like yaself!!!! you should take a leaf out of the lovelu glp goddess???? and get a life!!!!

  5. Ha ha ha ha love it Candie, nobody can put me down quite the way you (or maybe the vet) can!! I LOVE GLP's comments too, so entertaining & such a unique way with spelling and grammar, I'm just gutted she is so busy with her wonderful life, that she doesn't have the time to share it with us on her own & no doubt superior blog, I just wish one day she will grace us with the chance to know what its like to be an alchemist, ancient Egyptian Alchemist's worked wonders with snake venom!

  6. Boy oh boy, what a pair of jealous bitches you are! I think June is an extremely attractive and interesting character. She has an eye for fashion and the asthestic. Why all the personal comments anyway? That means that you are either extremely unattractive yourselves, jealous of her voluptuous figure or both. Get a life and give her a break!

  7. Ha ha ha Candy is my best friend, she is just taking the piss out of GLP & proving whatever digs GLP makes my friends can slate me better!! Plus as she is my friend she knows unlike GPL that I'm not obsessed about my looks, she knows I will laugh & not give a toss.... but thanks for being so Gallant Jake, its nice to have a handsome knight standing up for me! xx

  8. i am jealous of junes handsome good looks and her manly ooops i mean womanly figure come on glp goddess???? what do you think??

  9. Damn I knew I should of had a closer shave this morning!!....

  10. hey ya glam chick well i think ur the fucking nuts and good on u and reading top comment i find u rather rude and jelous and insecure if someone does well in life well good on them keep up the good work june xx

  11. Cheers Jo, glad you have been enjoying them more than some ;o)

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