Wednesday, 27 October 2010

A Sick Count Down To Halloween, The Evil, Evil Barbie Hour!!!

Monday 25th Oct, Woke from a very weird dream where I stepped out of the home I was living in & when I turned round it had changed into another building & I couldn't find my home!! my mind is an enigma even to me!!.... This week is the lead up to Halloween a time that's normally as Weird as my dreams & one the big kid in me loves.
Rocky Horror Halloween!!

Very sunny out but very windy adding a chill to the air, my back was agony this morning, my exterior was calm but in my head I was screaming!!.... I can only akin the pain to toothache in my spine, its as if I have a mini spear head stuck into my nerve endings, When it is at its worse I want to make an incision with a Stanley knife & scrape the arthritic area away from the bone with a wire brush, then rinse it out & sew it back up, like a drill scraping away the decay from a tooth, or a toothbrush scraping away plaque, and then slooshing..... but of course I wouldn't it's a mass of nerve endings & I'd paralyze myself ..... but some times the pain drives you nuts!!

My buy now pay Oct 2011 Easytone Reebok trainers arrived in the post via Littkewoods at 9am (as I have no money now, so hoping I will have a decent job to pay for them in 12months in spite of the state of the country/economy) now I just need my back to improve so I can hit the gym!! but I guess I can wear them with my jeans when I am out & about etc.
Washed did hair & make-up wore black Jeans & black long sleeved T-Shirt & my loafers, my Parker coat & took the dogs for a run, in a vane attempt to ease my pain, and to get me out of the house, for some fresh air,  it was the one thing that kept me sane, when I had a bit of a break down, due to bereavement reactive depression last year, after my mum died, it's the only therapy the doc suggested, that actually had any effect on lifting my mood and stop me going stir crazy!!.
 Tallulah RIP

It was quite warm when the wind wasn't howling, I ran into my friend John in the park, who had a new female dog that looked like Tallulah, chatted about what I'd been doing since I last saw him, which wasn't a great deal, while Stanley tried romancing his new dog. He said he might come down to the premier of, Houseparty Of The Dead 6, in Camden at The Purple Turtle on the Tuesday 16th November.

Had Pasta with sun dried tomatoes for brunch, and did a bit of housework, no word back from the guy I have a soft spot for, since I replied to his message Saturday (lol guess it was the facebook inbox equivalent of a drunken text!) oh well that's the story of my life. I did a bit of housework & some more job searches, still waiting to hear back about Cosmetic Counter Manager job I applied for & I'm keen on getting!!  At 3.23pm I got a call from a gas engineer, to say they would be round Friday late afternoon to sort my cooker's, sticking, gas ring dials. Watched the soaps & had some Aubergine dip with Wholemeal Krisprolls for tea with a caffeine free diet coke.

Watched new Fiver dating show "The Love Bus" quite funny, and a bit cruel, I didn't get to be on "Take Me Out", as the show will be Airing around the time I'm on Showbiz (bugger) Made a big online Asda grocery order, used up what little money I had left in my bank account, as I will get more for my money doing one big shop with Asda rather than doing dribs & drabs in local stores & at least I can eat even for the next 3 weeks, even if I can't pay my bills at the moment, I got it to be delivered Wednesday morning, that should keep me fed for 3 weeks (hopefully if I use it wisely) all good healthy stuff.

I watched The Graham Norton Show, then the fantastically tacky, A Shot Of Love With Tila Tequila, then settled down in bed with The Sun Newspaper, while listening to Paul McKenna CD!!... back is still bad, ordered painkillers in Asda shop, but I can't order more than 2 boxes, due to some people using them for suicides, haven't noticed it rain today, if t hasn't it may rain in the night as the pain is too bad for it not to!!

There was a bit in The Sun, about the scum who murdered the kindly 89yr Widower Pensioner, who gave the homeless food & shelter under his own roof, he gave them food, cash & booze & the ungrateful scum battered the lovely old guy to death, obviously too nice for his own good, whoever killed Albert Feilding deserves the death penalty!! FACT!!

Tuesday 26th Oct, had a hugely complex dream with so much going on it was like a feature film, too much to even to begin to describe, woke in excruciating pain, got out off bed with difficulty, opening the curtains to a grey and rainy day!! knew it was coming!! Had some porridge with cinnamon & a coffee dressed the same as yesterday plus panda hat & gloves. Decided to go out to walk the dogs, even in the relentless misty rain (the kind that soaks you through to the skin) every step made me wince in pain, but I was determined to get out & get some exercise for myself & they'll reap the benefit at same time, it hurts but hopefully exercising some will stop it seizing up and getting worse, it also stops me being stir crazy, due to being stuck indoors bored day after day. Stanley was as good as gold as usual, but rapidly growing puppy Betty is still not trained to heel & still insists on pulling on the lead & jarring my back OUCH!!!!! which made me wonder if I should of stayed home & not botherd giving us all some excercise? Jennie, Edgar & their kids passed in their Range Rover & waved.

Got a Sun Newspaper later but was in too much pain to read it, in fact the pain made me feel nauseous it was so bad. In the end I had to take the last of my pain killers & go to bed, before I was in tears (Evil Barbie floored by her own spine!!!) not happy, very frustrated with my body's inadequacy!! So much for my idea about excercise easing it!!! by 5.30pm I was hungry but in too much pain to be cooking in the kitchen so snacked on 3 Krisprolls & some Aubergine dip & put heat pack in microwave to put on spine, to try ease the pain, which is becoming unbearable, while the bloody rain continued outside.

Spent the rest of the night in bed sick with pain, watching the odd bit of TV , What Katie Did Next, (we share quite a lot of Gemini traits Katie P & I)  The Vampire Diary's, then the Cheryl Cole Life Story's, program I missed on Saturday, as she described her Malaria, I was surprised how much it was like the Double Pneumonia I had (I was very lucky to survive that, I came very close to popping my clogs too, though I played it down to my late mum & family at the time, as I didn't want to scare mum)

I think mum guessed though I remembered how shocked she was when she ran into me unexpectedly in town, and didn't recognise who I was untill I spoke to her, when I'd gone to get my prescription, when I was coming out the other side of it. Lucky mum never saw me when I was in the deathly grip of Pneumonia, it would of caused her much fear & pain. The only difference from her description of Malaria seems to be the swollen up face! I watched Seven Days, as there was nothing much on. The supposed art pics were rubbish, but the actress girl seemed to think they were good. Tried again to see if I could read the paper later, as the pain had subsided a bit due to rest & heat pack!! But I didn't feel well enough to concentrate on it for long!

Wednesday 27th Oct, Woke in agony my back pain was so bad, I was near to tears, took me ages to get out of bed to go downstairs, to put heat pack in microwave, tried to ease pain with heat pack with no joy, got washed & dressed very slowly & carefully, had to dress as Asda Delivery was due in morning, the cupboards were empty and I was feeling weak, maybe due to not eating properly lately, due to struggling so badly financially, wish that bloody HRH agency would bloody get back to me re that job, I could do it standing on my head, I applied the day it was advertised 5days ago they would be an idiot to overlook me (bloody useless agency's if the company saw my CV I know I'd get an interview!!) as I got dressed (slowly) so I didn't scare the delivery guy when he arrived!!

The pain was so bad it was making me feel like I was going to throw up!! popped to corner shop for the paper before the delivery time (hopefully the pain will subside enough to read it & yesterdays paper properly this afternoon!!)  the delivery arrived, and I squealed with pain, as I tried to stoop to put things away in the fridge. I eventually got it done & couldn't believe how much it took it out of me (I felt shattered like the 3 years I'd spent in & out of hospital) not the lively person I was in May 2009, 6 months after my final op & just days before mum died. I'd ordered strong painkillers with my shopping & downed some as soon as I got to the bag they was in, like some junkie desperate for a fix!

Went to pop out to do a few chores at around 10.30am & put some rubbish in the wheelie bin, but the next thing I recall is waking up in hospital, apparently I must of collapsed in my courtyard after throwing away rubbish, as I was heading out into town, I don't really know what happened, apparently a neighbour found me & called ambulance (I have no idea who?) I don't know if I fainted or what? I have never fainted before if I did?

The doctors were doing a lot of tests as they didn't seem to know what the problem was, the possibility's ranged from.... 

Anemia (being a veggie I am occasionally slightly anemic) giving me some strong Iron tablets to boost my Iron levels

Or Malnutrition (admittedly I have been frugal with food past few weeks, because I am broke, I owe this months £650 rent & bills & god knows how I am going to pay them? thanks in part to Talk Talk, taking £80 they were not due, out of my bank account, making me unknowingly over drawn & costing me £100's in bank charges for an unauthorised overdraft, when I discovered by chance at a ATM that I was in minus not plus £, in my bank, I had to organise a overdraft, so that I was charged 50p per day, I was overdrawn, not the £5 a day I presently was, before I realised what Talk Talk had done, this was not helped by the fact they wouldn't refund the £80 they wrongly took, but only credit me the £80 to my Talk Talk account, so in doing so making me have no £ to pay off the bank debt they caused, plus another cock up with the government failing to make a payment they owed to me, costing me £25 for being unable to pay a direct debit, <neither being my fault> but even though money for food was scarce, and only then thanks to selling some of my own tatt on ebay, to afford a few bits, I thought I'd eaten enough veg & healthy stuff not to be malnourished??!!)

I mean its not like other times in the year when I've lived on porridge for breakfast/lunch & dinner to get by made with milk to start with, then water when what little change I had ran out, due tome  having nothing left money wise after paying rent, gas, electric & phone bills.Despite that I have always managed to blag that, I was doing OK & having the time of my life, to friends & family, and those around me though, Pride is a strange thing, and I don't do victim or asking for help well!

Or Stress (see same reasons as malnourished, plus at the moment it's a case of, lots of money going out & none coming in, it will be another bleak Xmas this year & a 2nd one without mum is not one I relish, I wish that bloody cosmetic counter manager job, I applied for, would respond!!)

Or Low Red & White Blood Cells, (Double Pneumonia, followed by shingles, followed by a tumour <fortunately benign> followed by 9 months with agonising gallstones, depleted my red & white cells & they were slowly increasing & then the shock of my mum dying hit me bad & health took a nosedive again, so maybe)

Or My Body Shutting Down to cope with the extreme pain of my spine recently (I have been saying the pain was making me nauseous) basically I think they don't have a bloody clue (I have little faith in UK doctors, or hospitals)

My dad died due to them not spotting his lung cancer (despite him complaining of chest pains for 2yrs) they misdiagnosed my menigism (a form of meningitis) once as a bad headache (thank god an ex insisted in taking me to hospital for a 2nd opinion) my Double Pneumonia was 1st misdiagnosed as asthma (despite me insisting that there was no family history or it & I thought I had pneumonia <I was right I knew better than the supposed trained doc> then it was misdiagnosed yet again as a chest cold) as I got worse & worse a pal rushed me to A&E where I was rushed into intensive care with Double Pneumonia. I was once told stomach pains were IBS, unconvinced I insisted on a ultrasound (that's when they found my tumour!!) I was also rushed into A&E screaming in agony by ambulance several times (thinking I was dying) before they eventually correctly diagnosed Gallstones.

Once about 10yrs ago I was treated like a hypochondriac by a Tottenham doctor, when I kept going back with a variety of systems & breaking down in tears in the surgery, when he said he could find nothing wrong, as all blood tests came back fine, when I knew something definitely wasn't right with me!! it turned out he was sending me for only a select few tests & not sending me for ALL available blood test options, a month later my gas central heating broke down, when the gas guy came to fix it, he went deathly white & said it was a miracle I was alive, apparently the system had not been serviced for at least 30-40yrs by his reckoning & the whole flu was blocked with leaves over 10" deep & all the fumes which were unable to escape, due to the blockage, were coming back into the flat, so I'd been breathing in pure carbon monoxide, he said he had no idea how I had survived the few months I'd lived there (my symptoms I'd been going to doc with, were apparently classic carbon monoxide poisoning symptoms!) I should of sued that landlord, he was so dodgy beyond belief & tried to screw me over when I left!

My beautiful mum had a few strange dizzy spells, which I made her go to doc about, they did a few blood tests & took her blood pressure & said nothing was wrong, then a month or two later she died unexpectedly of an aneurysm (it's always played on my mind, whether those dizzy spells were a warning sign of her aneurysm & the useless doctors missed it?) no doubt these tests will probably come to nothing, but we will see...... but I advise anyone if you feel something is wrong with you, and your doc fobs you off with something you don't feel is correct, get a 2nd opinion, or insist on an X-ray, or scan/ultrasound, or full blood test, no body knows your body like you, if you feel there is definitely something wrong do not be fobbed off by a doc playing things down, or acting like your wasting their time....  it could cost you your life!! it cost my dad his & nearly cost me mine 4 times!!!

I eventually was discharged & got home in the evening, with no conclusive answers, they said they would forward results to my doctor if they find anything & my doctor would then in turn contact me, I updated Facebook & Twitter statuses about being ill, then still weak & still in pain, I vegged in bed watching TV!! none of today's chores got done done, due to falling ill, I hope I feel better tomorrow and get to do them, it will be just my luck to get a response to the job I applied for & then be ill on the day of the interview & not on top form for the interview, it's getting me down that I have had no response from my application, when I would be brilliant at the job (even if I do say so myself!!) wish I knew who it was for so I could contact the company direct!!... but there is no info I can glean from the job listed on site.

Thought  maybe RuPauls Drag Race will cheer me up!?.... I managed to watch RuPaul despite feeling groggy it was very funny, glad Tatiana survived, then I crashed out for the night totally shattered!!

Thursday 28th Oct, Dozed on & off  until 2pm, I had a weird dream, where an unseen monster (that is often in my dreams) had lurked outside my home at night, in the day I looked into the back garden to see if there was any monster evidence (foot prints etc) and saw a negro woman who lived next door (in my dream) she confirmed she to had experienced the lurking monster before. I feel quite light headed, my back is still killing me, I'm wondering if it is a trapped nerve? as I have pins & needles in both my arms & hands, also woke with a sore throat too (oh bloody hell, body please don't give me a cold too!!)

I'm going to have lots of rest before Saturday, I love Halloween & I have missed too many Halloween do's due to ill health, over the past few years & I don't intend to this year!!.... had a golden syrup oat so simple with soya milk with a chopped banana in it & took a strong strength Iron tablet as suggested by doctor yesterday, as I'm quite anemic at the moment apparently (being a veggie I'm always slightly anemic, but apparently more so at the moment!) Ordered lots of spinach & green leafy veg on my Asda order, so hopefully my iron levels will be up soon.

I got a phone call from the people doing the music video I applied for, on Star Now Agency, she said they were interested in me being in it & the video, it is to be filmed in London this Sat afternoon, running through to the night. But I'm going to Andreas Halloween Party with Mike Saturday. I might of found a way round of doing it, if it was an actual paid job, but like most of Star Now Castings, it's unpaid (not even travel expenses refunded this time) I don't mind doing the free ones, if they pay travel (or else you are out of pocket £15) or if I can get a lift to it, as it boosts my acting CV & bumps up my performance numbers, to help me be eligible get an Equity Card, which helps you get good paid contact work, so I will do free ones if I'm not doing anything else except job searches, or taking a therapeutic walk round the park anyway, I can do either of  them any time I fancy, they are not like a time-tabled chore.

Shame, if it was on Sunday, maybe Mike would of given me a lift & maybe of done it with me for fun. I know years ago when I lived in London, I did a lot of free castings (I used my yearly travel-card for travel) and many of my really good well paid jobs (Like being featured background artist in "Bridget Jones Diary" and being on stage in numerous TV shows plus Bollywood Movies) came from originally doing a freebie and somebody on it liking me & using me on one of their big budget projects, or somebody spotting me in the thing I did for free & contacting me, to be in something their doing.  It certainly helped boost my day job wages. Hopefully It could happen  again even though I'm much older now.

It would be good to get some paid work before Xmas, still no word re Cosmetic Counter Manager job, it's pissing me off F**king useless retail employment agency staff, working in an office all their life, they never spot the potential of your CV if you don't have the right Buzz words in it (even if certain words in your CV mean the same thing, also the right Buzz words differ from one agency to the other, so you never know which one's to use!!) I think you shouldn't work in a Recruitment Agency unless you have worked in the industry you are recruiting for, for at least 3 years.

At 5pm when the pain killers had kicked in eventually somewhat, I got out of bed & pulled on a tracksuit (never normally seen on me, unless in the gym) an shoved on some make-up as not to look like the living dead, also looking cosmetically better, also has the placebo effect of making you feel better too, (as I learnt when giving my time for free for the "Look Great Feel Better" campagne, that involved free make overs & beauty kits, for Cancer patients in Hospital, when working in the beauty industry)

I went out to shop downstairs & got The Sun newspaper, they had thankfully not ran out, so later tonight I will try to read Tues, Wed & today's papers, then feeling more awake, I also called Asda & informed them they had charged me for 2 items they had not delivered! they said they will redeliver tomorrow, he asked what time I'd be in? I said I'm ill at the moment so I will be in all day. kept checking inbox for a email from RHR re Cosmetic Counter Manager but Nothing (gutted!!) returned my texts from friends saying they hoped I was better soon, I got a really sweet one from my local friend David, nice to know people care.
Turned on the TV & thought oooh there's Dance teacher Lauren from St Albans on The Weakest Link, she teaches Jennies daughter ballet. At 6pm I began reading today's paper (I will work backwards to Tuesdays one) Can't believe that vile woman, that murdered that poor Transvestite, by pushing him under a tube train at Kings Cross!! how horrific!! There was a fab pic of Kelly Osbourn painted gold to celebrate Sky's 50th HD Channel, I always said she was pretty & would look stunning without the puppy fat & that pic proved it!!
Link To Kelly Osbournes Golden Photos 
Had Danish Blue Cheese on Krisprolls & a fresh fruit salad for tea, while watching Home & Away, my Twitter friend  Ashley is in the Take Me Out studios, about to watch it, gutted I didn't make it onto the show but they decided not to use me, as the series Showbiz (which I'm in) comes out about the same time Take Me Out will be aired (maybe next year) shame as I haven't had a date in ages. Hope I end up getting some work out of Showbiz when aired (as that's the whole point!!) and they don't just use us to look like hopeful desperado losers!?.... no point letting them film me auditioning for work, if I'm not going to get anything positive out of it!!
My friend Greg text me but I had no phone credit to reply, also Candie Text me at 8.40pm saying she hoped I could come to their firework night on Friday (maybe I could get Mike to come with me & give me a lift?) too broke for two single fairs £15 Fri & £11.50 sat or a £15.50 return even. Maybe I could try the 712 bus that's £5 each way & runs on a Sat (not Sunday) that's still £10 when I have unpaid rent & bills, we will see. 

Got the munchies so I had some macaroni cheese for dinner at 9.30pm Watched the brilliant Celebrity Juice at 10pm followed by the fantastic True Blood!! which made me laugh when they used Leona's "Keep Bleeding" as a backing track to one of the scenes. Read some more of the papers including a bit about that Loser Charlie Sheen who was found naked after trashing his hotel room, high on drink & drugs, with a hooker locked in his wardrobe, what a total arsehole! I bet his dad & brother Emilio Estefez are so proud!! he looks much older than 45yrs even  with surgery (that's drink & drugs for you!!)

David Walliams model wife was in the paper, because she has won significant damages over unauthorised pictures of her in French Playboy, saying "No woman wants photos of themselves in Playboy without permission!" (for permission I think we can safely substitute payment!!) I think she should be flattered she is one hell of a minger, its amazing what make-up, lighting & airbrushing can do for a girl!!

There was a bit in Tuesdays paper about Cabbie Rapist John Worboys (above) they say he is officially the UK's worst sex predator, with at least 102 victims, I believe I was one of his intended victims. Because when I 1st read about it in the paper, March last year, it brought back memories of an experience in a black cab about 15 to 20yrs ago (when I was 26 to 31yrs old)  that I found odd & suspect. The experience went very much along the lines, that were described by some of his victims, the only difference being, that I was unwilling to drink anything offered by him, I can't say I recognise him from his picture in the paper (anyway he is about 15-20yrs older now anyway) but his MO is so akin I am sure it must be him (I have written it in a separate blog and posted it) I wrote to The Sun about it & the Journalist gave me a number for Scotland Yard line dealing with the case. I left a taped message with my number, but nobody called me back, maybe nobody was interested as I wasn't actually raped by him, but I thought my info might be able to show that he, may have been doing it for longer than was suspected at the time, I rang them a year back in March 2009.

Friday 29th Oct, had a complex dream which I can't really recall on waking but it was so full of action like a film, Called Asda again as I discovered they also charged me for carrot batons, but didn't deliver them, they said they would put the 3 missing items on a van for me to arrive between 2-6pm (it seems the guy I spoke to yesterday did NOT put the 2 missing items discovered yesterday, that he said would be delivered today, on a van, not impressed Hatfield!!)

I had a Golden Syrup Oat So Simple with a banana chopped in it & some crushed nuts sprinkles on top for brunch, got a Sun paper from local shop, moths flew out my purse at the till, I'm so broke, that if I found a penny & picked it up it would be for cash flow...... NOT Luck!!

Kept checking my Hotmail for a reply to my Cosmetic Counter Manager job application to RHR, nothing GUTTED!!!! today is the cut off day & they obviously are not going to contact me!! I'm livid I would excel at the job, and I have no idea who the company are that RHR are recruiting for?? so I can't go direct to the company!! Really want to scream!!!.... ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!

Ahhhhhh that's better (well actually its not!! I'm sick of applying for 100's of jobs a month & 90% of the time not even getting a reply, especially when I have a good CV & education!!) You see all these dole scroungers in the papers, not wanting to work, as they have a cushy life paid by the state, they can afford to smoke, have satellite/cable TV, iphones, Xboxes, Holidays, huge flat screen TVs, takeaways, a social life with lots of booze HOW??? I don't get it, does having lots of  illegitimate kids really pay that well??

I'm frugal with my heating/lighting & food & still struggle to pay my rent, gas, electric & phone bills, it's been years since I have had a holiday & nights out have to involve free entry, a lift & either drinking soda water all night, or poncing a few drinks, or living on porridge for a few weeks to afford the fare into London, or if I sell something on ebay for more than 99p- £2 then I might be able to have a treat, I don't know how these people can be on the dole & rake it in??

The guys came & fixed my oven at 2.45pm  (so not that late) kept checking my email preying for a interview with RHR no joy  but I did find a email from Davina McCall's new show Find My Family, saying the following......

Dear June,

Thank you very much for getting in touch with 'Long Lost Family' and telling us about the search for your half-siblings.

We have nearly finished making the first series of 'Long Lost Family' and are therefore reducing the number of searches we are currently taking on. Unfortunately we have decided that we may not have time to take on and conclude the search for your half-siblings in time for inclusion in the first series, and for this reason we're sorry to say we're not going to be able to help you find your half-siblings at present.

However, when we begin work on the second series of 'Long Lost Family' in early 2011 we would very much like to get back in touch with you to see if you are still searching for your half-siblings and if you'd still
like our help.

Many thanks for applying and best of luck with your continued search for your half-siblings. We look forward to speaking to you again in a few months time.

Kind regards

Which was a nice Surprise, as I had given up hope of hearing from them, after contacting them at the start of the year (you will know if you have read past blogs, that I have been trying to find the two half siblings I have never met, for years)  At 5.50pm Asda delivered the items they'd charged me for, but not delivered on Wednesday. Put them away in the freezer/fridge & took the 2 quorn fillets I'd been marinading in Soy Sauce & Ginger out of the fridge, grilled them & had with watercress salad. 

Still no word from RHR so I applied to actually work for them (I think they need someone who has worked in retail, to recognise a good retail CV when they see one, as they haven't got back to me!) and I can't apply more than once on the InRetail site. I then had a brain wave & googled the job description & found several sites advertising the same job (though still no info as to which company it is, the only clue is a Vibrant Cosmetic Retailer) all got sent off to RHR but to a different person each time (maybe one will spot my potential even  if another doesn't) Also found one for Selfridges that looked promising too!!.... plus one for Benefit on Gumtree, I'm "Fed Up" with being broke especially with Xmas on the way!!!... 

I really am on a mission to get that Counter Manager job through RHR. I think it's because out of the hundreds of jobs I have applied for over the past two months, that one leaped off the page screaming this job is tailor made for you!! so not hearing back from RHR has made me bloody minded in my determination to get an interview this time, as I could do it with my eyes closed, standing on my head, with one arm tied behind my back!!!.... even if the recruitment agency's can't see it!!

Got the nibbles later so had some Humus with carrot batons (that arrived earlier) and a bit of 80% dark chocolate, with a decaf coffee, and watched "Come Dine With Me" very amusing!! Then the fantastic "The Event" (I LOVE Science Fiction!!) Some people say The Event is Good but confusing but I don't see why??  It's Quite Simple Aliens crash landed in the 50's half escaped & blended in with human population the others were captured & kept in a secure USA, UFO stronghold, as prisoners & were questioned about the others, one alien has infiltrated the FBI and so is privy on all they are doing to track other Aliens etc, the boyfriend of the lead captured Alien Female, is becoming a bit of a loose cannon due to her not being released for over 50-60yrs, the humans on plane were meant to be saved, the FBI infiltrating Alien knew this, but the rogue loose cannon Alien killed them, for reasons yet unknown, the ones that stole the guys GF have an agenda either 4 or against the Aliens (we won't know which until we know whether her captures are Alien or human!!) at the end the suposed dead humans started to come back alive (thats funny as at the end of the last show I half wondered if that would happen!!)

My friend Mike called he said he is taking me to another friends Halloween Party after Andreas Saturday, the theme is Vampires & Virgins (so Vampire it is Lol) my friend Nicky invited me to a Halloween Bash in St Albans but I already had plans, she text me today saying did I want to go on Davina McCalls "The Million Pound Drop Live" with her if she applied, I said hell yeah that would change my fortune if we won big!! (to be honest even £200 would change my circumstances at the moment, let alone £1,000 or £1Million!!..... in fact I'd be grateful for £10-£50 at the moment!!)

Watched The Gorgeous George Lamb & his Dad play on The Million Pound Drop for charity, they made it through to the end, Georges face was just so cute as he cringed waiting to see if they were going to loose every thing due to their choices, I use to fancy his dad Larry years ago, when he was in Triangle, now years later when I'm older, I fancy his son George, Phwoooooor!!!  funny!!........

My friend Ian Mann is at The Buffy Halloween Weekender with his costume being Little Red Riding Hood, can't wait to see his pictures of it should be a scream in more ways than one!!.......

My What Big Hands You Have!!

Saturday 30th Oct, woke to a surprisingly bright sunny day, not quite so aching today, later I planned to go out to the market/shops to see if there was anything to add to my costume tonight. I got a letter in the post today, asking me to go to a appointment on Monday 8th of November, at 11am, no idea what that's all about?, but I guess I'll find out in just over a week! Had Golden Syrup Oats So Simple for breakfast, with some chopped nuts on top & a coffee. Pulled on Jersey Trousers & T-Shirt my lofa's & my cream Coat pulled back hair in pony tail (haven't washed hair for a few days, so it will smooth down & not show under black wig better tonight!)

Popped out to the shops, I thought I'd see if the long Grey wig, like the black one I got for £2 in Wilkinsons, was still there & maybe gone down in sale as they don't want to be left with stock after Halloween, yep they had reduced items & BLIMEY the shelves were practically empty & hoards were scavenging over the remains, passed by Anne Summers & saw a FAB Vampire Cape in the window, it had been reduced from £10 to £5 so I treated myself (even though I'm broke, as Mike is taking care of any expenses tonight) as it will go well with my theme of Burlesque Vampire Witch, and it will be great for future Halloween's too!!. Sadly I won't have a camera to take with me, as mine broke filming Houseparty Of The Living Dead 6, and I'm just too broke at the moment to have it fixed, or buy another one, even 2nd hand on ebay!! So will have to hope Mike, Andrea & Sarah bring theirs!

Lot's of cute dogs in town today including an adorable St Bernard, I LOVE them their like big cuddly teddy bears, I miss the days when I lived in West Sussex when I had 2 dogs, 6 cats, 3 buggies, 1 Green Amazon Parrot, 2 Hamsters & 2 goldfish. Local kids use to ask if they could come see my zoo lol (well there were horses, a donkey, sheep & wallaby's on the estate too) sadly some passed over time & more were added, but much a I love my flat, I hate the no pets clause, that meant I had to give my pets away, to Friends, Family & Strangers, but at least I could still visit & play with & walk those I gave to friends & family, but I do often wonder how Paris, my Pedigree Persian Cat, that I had to rehouse via the Cats Protection League is? 
 Paris June Symphony at Bath Time

Mum took in my cat Amy, so I saw her regularly, But nobody took Paris a she was a Persian & took lots of grooming & washing etc, which was really sad as she was such an affectionate cat, I often wonder who got her & if she is happy? It broke my heart, when my Amy died 6months (to the day) after mum died, but at least we secretly had 6months together! 

My Beautiful Amy RIP

It was my doc that told me, after I was extra low after losing Amy too, to spend more time getting out of my flat with my dogs, or my friends & their dogs, as I am so animal orientated & miss them like I do my late parents. 


I often wonder how Charlie my Parrot is he was in his 70's when I had him & they can live well over 100yrs he had such a vocabulary after all those years, you could practically have a conversation with him, I loved him so much, we really had a close bond, I gave him to my Boyfriend of the time Ricky, in Brighton as when he wasn't in his band he worked in a pet shop, so Charlie use to travel to the pet shop with him in the car on his shoulder, or sat on the back of the passenger seat, & sit on a perch in the shop, chatting away to everyone (and hopefully not swearing too much!! lol, he was so funny & always swore in context!!) so hopefully he was happy in his new home & at the pet shop.

Had a Quorn fillet marinated in Soy Sauce & Ginger, with a Jacket Potato & Watercress Salad for Lunch. Then it was time to start getting ready, decided on being a burlesque like Vampire Witch, as 2nd Party was a Vampire's and Virgin's theme & Andrea's more your traditional Witchypoo's type, female Vampires are often depicted in Victorian corsetry & modern Vampires are often depicted as quite raunchy & erotic so think a Burlesque underwearish themed costume is apt (have gone as numerous, Witches, Ghouls, a Bat & once as a Rocky Horror Character in the past) So this one is a bit different for me this year.

Most girls when they do Halloween Witches or Vampires they always do Pretty make-up rarely a green face or truly pail gory Gothic, (not exactly the point, Halloween has nothing to do with being pretty) not me I'm not worried about pulling & looking attractive, for me it's all about the fun of getting into character!!...... So while watching "Strictly Come Dancing" (who had great tunes for their Halloween based show) my transformation started by me scraping my hair back with in a tight low pony tail, and then slipped a black stocking over it like a cap, wrapping the rest round my head & tucking under at the back to hide my blonde hair, stopping it showing through wig. I then applied a pail ivory foundation base, a powdering of talc, then over that I powdered "Versace's Lights All Over" Luminescent powder, which gave my face a white pearlized sheen, then I shaded my cheek hollows & temples in grey, then outlined my eyes with black, and applied black eyeshadow & penciled in black eyebrows as my blonde one's would look odd with black wig!! I then applied a brilliant red lipstick then patted fine red glitter (used by drag queens) all over it so my lips looked like Dorothy's Ruby Slippers, and sparkled as if made of jewels (sadly this effect doesn't ever seem to pick up in photographs) finally my make-up was completed with my over sized duo of Black, and Pink spotted Evil Barbie Lashes, giving a dramatic look with a slight burlesque twist. 

Next the outfit, going with the Vampire, Underwear Burlesque theme, I wore a vintage basque-esque looking lacy slip as a dress, and fishnet tights, but the waistband showed through slip, so I wore a wide leather belt to cover it, I'd tried stockings but the suspender belt showed up worse under it!! then I added a necklace I'd made out of bits of broken jewelry with a diamante skull on it, no point in earrings as the ling black wig, and high collar of cape would hide them anyway!! then I tied my vampire cloak at the neck with the bow at the back, Then I pulled on the long black wig (Very Cher!!) then added a jaunty mini witches hat on a band (very burlesque) The look was almost completed, I then  went to get my Patrick Cox Wannabe, black pointy knee high kinky boots (very catwoman like!!) 

I went into my wardrobe and took them out, only to find each had a sticky honey/resin like residue at the top of each inner leg, don't know what that is?? only clothes hanging above & other boots next to them in wardrobe!! tried using my Skin Therapy cleansing wipes to remove but it only made it worse,  making some of the rubber coating come away (SHIT shit shit  they're £300 boots) it also made the coating tacky all over, with fluff from my bedspread sticking to it,  making them look coated with cobwebs (good news for Halloween, bad news for one of my top 3 pairs, of fave boots!!) they are fucked .....shit!!, washed them down with a water soaked flannel, maybe I can get them cut down to mid calf length, or to ankle boots, bugger ..... mind you I have had them over 10yrs now & they have served me well!!

Mike arrived and I went to the car to meet him & the Turkish guys from the shop & the hairdresser girls, said I looked amazing & they'd never recognise me!!... Even Mike said he wouldn't of recognised me & he has known me 25yrs!! We got to the Venue "The Green Dragon" Winchmore Hill, and spotted Anna outside in a pink wig & halo as we pulled into the car park, Andrea had done a great job of doing up her half of the bar, with cobwebs, skulls, bats, skeletons, ghouls, pumpkins and fab Mona Lisa Paintings which turn into a Vampire Mona Lisa when you move side to side. 

Andrea looked great as a vampy vampire & the girls ranged from Morticia to naughty nun, witches, Mrs Freddie Kruger, vampires, with Sarah coming as a Pumpkin. 

 The Girls
Sexy Devil
Witchipoo's (look at all the spirit orbs to the right!!)
Mike Pops In For A Bite 
Lucky Sarah Is A Pumpkin & NOT A Blood Orange 
 Is That A Bone In Your Pocket?
Or Are You Just Pleased To See Me??
Burlesque Vampire Witch, Meets Burlesque Nun 

Chatted to Anna, Sarah, Andrea, Mike & the rest of the gang!! Mike bought me a few Vodka & Slimlines & a pint of Cider (classy or what!!) Anna kept going on about how skinny I was, I said "Thanks Anna, but I'm not, I have put on 2st since mum died last year!!" she said "Maybe but your still very slim!!" (thanks for that Anna) She said she is disgusted at herself for putting on so much weight, I said to try Paul McKenna's "I Can Make You Thin" CD as I found it a really easy way to drop weight & I've just started it again myself! she said to send her the link for book at a reduced price of £4.99 (the link is below for anyone else who wants to try it)

She said she would give it a go, I said I bet she finds herself surprised with the results, funnily enough after that the Halloween Platters came out chicken drumsticks with a red sticky coating & potato fritters with hot spicy red sauces. Being a Veggie Vampire I went for the fritters (guess a veggie vampire would live on blood oranges) At Midnight we left to go to another friends party, on the outskirts of London, as they kept texting that it was packed & really buzzing. We went to a late night off licence just as it was closing & Mike got a few cans of cider & beer as it was a bring a bottle party, and Mike wasn't drinking as he was driving, and I didn't fancy any more vodka, or wine. 

We got to the party & it was packed and it was full of an array of costumes, lots of Virgin Brides, one guy was a Vampire version of The Child Catcher, which was good, the house was massive and one room was done up like a dungeon with stocks & an electric chair etc which was fun, the electric chair was really comfy to sit on & the arm handy for standing your drink on. It was massive I joked it was my Vampire Throne, I clowned about with Mike (who went as my virgin dinner, with two fang marks & blood on his neck) Saying "Fetch Your Vampire Mistress a Virgin Gimp Boy to drain of blood!!!" and we joked in character for a bit especially when we saw two very short guys with great physiques in virgin slave costumes, and I Bellowed  fetch me my Gimps!!! Everyone was very friendly and chatty, even the people we didn't know. The music was good and Halloween appropriate. 

We left at around  2.15am which with the clocks going back became 1.15am & I got home at 3.10am (2.10am with clock change) just in time to see Xfactor repeat on ITV2 +1. Disappointed in Dannii's and Cheryl's outfits not very Halloween & Simon & Louie could of had a more Count Dracula looking shirt & Jacket

This Weeks Personal Critique Of The 11 Xfactor Finalists

Matt Cardle :- Good voice, but his least successful performance so far, not a good song choice, the fact it has blood in the title hardly makes it a Halloween song, styling boring again!

Rebecca Ferguson :- Her performance left me cold this, week not sure why, styling apt for theme, though not sure having wicked in the title, made Chris Issak's song theme appropriate (seemed like yet another theme cop-out!!)

Mary Byrne :- Yet again the lacking imagination stylists dressed her head to toe in black, and the same severe hair, but with horns this time, good voice, but I feel again the Take That song never reflected Halloween, just having Magic in the title does not make it a Halloween song, the hair yet again made her look like (below)

Paije Richardson :- His best performance, thus far but still didn't set the world on fire, again having black in the title does not make Back To Black a Halloween Song (Strictly Come Dancing were better at choosing their Halloween music) Styling much improved, even if a bit old for his age.

Treyc Cohen :- Good Vocals, a Take That Song yet again, not exactly Halloween, but more so than others on the night, unlike the hooded red dress & black lipstick outfit was a lame Halloween attempt, plus the lipstick was unflattering, either do a totally scary unattractive Halloween look or don't, The lipstick was off putting.

Aiden Grimshaw :- He still wasn't doing it for me again this week, he managed to make a fun lively song like Thriller droning & boring, very Emo, styling was so so

One Direction :- Good performance, good song choice, good vocals, Naf Styling

Katie Waissel :- Fare vocals, fun and apt for theme song, kooky spooky make-up was fun & wild wig hid those roots & ears nicely!!

Belle Amie :- The styling was much improved  and looked more coordinated, and apt for theme as was song, better vocals than before but still not outstanding!!

Cher Lloyd :- Good to see her not rapp for a change, her best singing performance thus far, song was perfect for theme! As was styling for once.

Wagner:- Well I wasn't far off with my Halloween song predictions, with predictable Louie, he did choose Bat Out Of Hell, Just for Wagner not Mary as I guessed, also a mish mash of 2 songs (as always!) for Wagner, can't he remember one song all the way through? Odd Styling like a Circus Ringmaster with one eye bleeding red sequins, and surely backing dancers should of been Bat's not Skeletons!!.... Think he & Aiden are in trouble this week 

The Xtra Factor, Again the bloody stylist looked awful, also amazed gawky Singing Coach Savan can get them to sing, as he appears to have trouble, talking coherently on camera. BUT I pissed myself laughing when The "Supposed" Stylist took Mary out clothes shopping, to make her feel more current & up to date!!! and ended up with a BLACK jumper, with a dated red outlined Ziggy Stardust flash across the front, frumpy, shapeless, dated & BLACK yet again!!, that stylist hasn't a clue!!..... That was NOT, CURRENT & UP TO DATE!! I'd not wear it a its too frumpy & I'm 4 years younger than Mary & neither would my teenage niece's, nor my niece's in their 20's & 30's It's the kind of thing Waynetta Slob would wear after a win at the bingo, or someone who buys those Wolf fleece jackets on QVC would wear!!

 Waynetta was thrilled by her Xfactor Stylist Make-Over

Crashed out around 4am while watching the Xtra Factor.... 

Sunday 31st October Halloween, Woke at 10.30am, and got up to make a coffee and got on the scales dreading a weight gain after the two party's last night........ but to my surprise I have lost 2lb since Thursday (Good ole Paul McKenna) WOW how much would I have lost without the partying?? Had some Cottage Cheese on Rice Cakes, and popped out to get a News Of The World, and watched the repeat of The Xtra Factor as I drifted in & out of sleep watching it in the wee hrs, didn't recognise any of the celebrity guest judges except Titchy Strider, then made lunch of a jacket potato & baked beans, (good Halloween/Guy Fawkes food) Then watched The Mummy on ITV2 seen it so many times even have it on DVD but I absolutely Adore Egyptology & find Mummy Imhotep sexy!! Andreas boyfriend had taken some pics at the Halloween Party & Put them on Facebook there were quite a lot of spirit orbs in the pics (Spirits love the positive energy of party's & are drawn to them, I bet they even get the irony of a Halloween one!!) but one had the hugest array of spirit orbs clustered together in one picture that I have ever seen!! I counted over 50 of them before I gave up (below)

Chatted a bit on Facebook & Twitter before watching The Xfactor Results Show, not wowed by the female judges outfits, Dannii's made her top half look broad, Cheryl's clashed with her hair, Bon Jovie did a great set with minimal help from the finalists, I had almost forgotten how cute John Bonjovi was with short hair!! Jamiriqui was also excellent, Rhianna's voice was good, and she looked pretty in spite of the horrid red hair, though not one of her better songs, not a single I'd buy. Surprised Aiden & Wagner wasn't in the bottom two, not surprised Belle Amie are, Surprised Katie was, as hers was Kooky but good, Belle Amie were out by the 1st three opening lines of their sing off song!, Katie was better than the girls, yet for a sing off song it was, not as good a performance as she was on last two weeks songs!!... Louie chickened out of voting Belle Amie out & opted for Katie making it go to deadlock but Belle Amie were still goners!!!.....

I was just about to watch this weeks "The Only Way Is Essex" when I got a Text out of the blue from my sister-in-law Karen saying "Question for You June....Have You Seen The Only Way Is Essex? Xx"

I replied "Yeah it cracks me up they are so dumb! x" 

to which she responded with "Ironic as I was going 2say how much they speak like you!! Ur Mum Wud of made a cracking Nana Pat! U OK hun? Xx

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry or be insulted, I was totally dumbfounded, Is that really how she thinks I sound? Thick & common, when in fact I'm very linguistic & eloquent, in fact one ex called me his posh totty due to my pronunciation, where as they can hardly string a sentence together & everything they say is peppered with "shaaaaaatup!" "He's so Jel" "Fanks" "Wotevahhhh" "innit" does she really see me as some common incoherent imbecile? I'm totally shocked!!

Or as a Northerner is that how all us Southerners sound to her? I truly was miffed!!.... last year she said Stacey Soloman from Xfactor reminded her of me!!! so I guess she does see me as a ditsy, incoherent, air head!.... I am far from flattered!!

I replied "OMG 1st Stacey & then this lot of lobotomised! you must see me as thick and common, lol OK I guess but I'm thinking of investing in elocution lessons now!!... xx"

She asked if I'd seen much of Nat & Terry lately & what I'd been up to? 

I said no I have been to broke to go to London unless, I have an audition that pays travel expense's, mostly I have been at home sending out constant job applications daily, to no avail, but had been to a few friends birthday event's that I couldn't  really afford to do, but I didn't want to let my friends down. I asked how things were for Bill & Her & Baby Alex?

She said "Fine Chick, Bill has gone self employed last month, so we have no income yet either, I start work again after maternity leave from tomorrow, Alex is fab we love him so Much.

Spent the rest of the night reading The News Of the World, it's Fabulous supplement & Now Magazine!! before my head hit the pillow!!

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