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Monday, 10 January 2011

Evil Barbie's Weekly "Dancing On Ice" Critique 2011


I have decided to do a weekly armchair critique of Dancing On Ice, giving a viewers view. As a singer I gave my views on Xfactor, but in this case I have to say I can't Ice Skate, as my mum wouldn't allow me to have roller skates, or ice skates or a skate board, in case I injured myself! (I was a clumsy kid who'd trip over a feather... But even still) I'm still a tad amazed I was even allowed a bike to be honest! so my critique will be purely as a viewer with no technical knowledge or even rudimentary experience on skating!!


Sunday 9th Jan,  The Show started Phillip Schofield in Chocolate shiny 3 piece suit, white shirt & red tie & Holly Willoughby in a lovely bosom heaving strapless, corseted, floor length dress!! There are 16 contestants but only 12 will make it to final show, chosen by the audience & not the judges, 8 will skate this week  & 2 evicted, the same next week & then those final 12 will compete & the judges points will start to count towards their points & in the dance off tonight & next week, there will be a triple dance off decided by the voting public. The 16 Contenders are as follows........


1) Steven Arnold - AKA Ashley Peacock in Coronation St
2) Angela Rippon - News Anchor
3) Laura Hamilton - Kids Presenter (Never heard of her or show)
4) Johnson Beharry VC - Afghanistan War Hero 
5) Nadia Sawalha - Actress (with weight loss/fitness DVD out)
6) Kerry Katona - Ex Atomic Kitten (Has fitness DVD out)
7) Jeff Brazier - Reality TV (All round sweety & nice guy)
8) Vanilla Ice - USA Rapper (I love this guy in spite of his tattoo's)
9) Comedy Dave - DJ Chris Moyles sidekick (I've never tuned in)
10) Jenifer Matcalfe - Hollyoaks (I don't watch but know of her)
11) Craig McLachan - Neighbours Actor (Still hot & funny!!)
12) Denise Welch - Actress/Loose Women
13) Sam Attwater - Eastenders Leon (Don't recall him or character!)
14) Elen Rivas - Ex WAG (Apparently dating Peter Andre)
15) Dominic Cork - Cricketer (Never heard of him!!)
16) Chloe Madeley - D list Celebs Daughter

This week the line up was Steven Arnold, Angela Rippon, Laura Hamilton, Johnson Beharry VC, Nadia Sawalah, Kerry Katona, Jeff Brazier & Vanilla Ice. The Skating begins........

Steven Arnold & Nina - Clown like costumes, can't see if Nina is pretty or not under wacky hair & make-up. Dancing to (House Of Fun) Steven very stiff & awkward, moves nervously, when he moves at all, Nina is doing most of the work for him in their pairing rather than skating backwards he was pushed backwards as she skate forward. He almost tripped in funny walk, think he will be gone unless there is someone worse, or stupid Corrie viewers vote for him, just because they liked his Corrie Character Ashley!!

Angela Rippon & Shaun - Nice Ivory sparkly outfits, Shaun looks like Nightclub bouncer. Dancing to (At Last) A decent but safe unexciting performance, hardly a wobble, skated unaided by partner, even slight stumble was graceful. She may be joining Steve in the skate off.

Laura Hamilton & Colin - Lovely sexy hot pink outfits, American Colin is also hot, in a cute Gavin Henderson kind of way. Dancing to (Because We Belong Together) A very good Skater very graceful, impressive splits & also great back flip by Colin. The only thing going against them will be the public, like me, not knowing who the hell she is!

Johnson Beharry VC & Jodie - Pretty mint dress for her his outfit OK except for the Waist Coat which was a bit naff. Dancing to (Wishing On A Star) The Victoria Cross awarded War Hero is to be commended, when blown up at war he damaged, neck, shoulders, arms & spine, so must have mobility of movement disadvantages & suffer pain (I know how debilitating my neck & back can be at times, and my problems are nothing compared to his) Smooth skating not exciting, but to be commended.

Nadia Sawalha & Mark -  lovely purple/blueberry outfits, he looks like a nice guy. Dancing to (Proud Mary) Somewhat wobbly & all over the show in places & serious work needs to be done on her legs when posturing, when lifted off ice. She may be joining Steve in the skate off.

Kerry Katona & Daniel - Lovely Turquoise outfits, He seems nice. Dancing to (Make You Feel My Love) Surprisingly smooth set, with good graceful posturing, and good lines, she surprised me.

Jeff Brazier & Isabelle - Very nice slate grey outfits, she seems cute. Dancing to (not sure of songs name) He was very good, great lines, very fluid movements & looked relaxed & confident, only a slight wobble, when getting up from a knee slide. 


Vanilla Ice & Katie - Saucy sexy black outfits, she looked much older face wise, done up in this outfit & makeup, than she did in training video though. Dancing to (Word Up) Great fun routine LOVE him, despite all of his tattoo's.  


The Skate Off Show, I recon the 3 to be up for the skate off are Steven, Angela & Nadia. 

The results are in:-  

Vanilla Ice - THROUGH, 

Johnson - THROUGH, (Nobody is going to vote out a Hero before the show gets going are they? Even if he'd been worse than Steve!)

Jeff - THROUGH, 

Steven - THROUGH (Are you Frigging kidding me!!? Must be stupid Corrie fans Voting for Ashley not for Talent) 

Kerry - THROUGH 



They Did their dance again, Angela was consistent, but there was nothing exciting to the performance it was kind of staid & bland. Laura threw herself into it again, and was maybe not as polished as 1st time, but exciting to watch. Nadia was much improved on her 1st performance. But it would be a farce if Laura didn't get through.


The votes were in Laura is in, Angela & Nadia are out!!!


***************

Sunday 16th Jan, The Second lot of 8 contestants vie for their place to compete in Dancing On Ice!! This weeks contenders are Comedy Dave, Jenifer Matcalfe, Craig McLachan, Elen RivasDominic Cork, Chloe Madeley, Denise Welch & Sam Attwater.


Not so keen on pregnant Holly's Black Roman Toga-esque floor length dress today! Philip looks much the same as last week! The skating begins.....


Craig McLachan & Maria - Sexy Devil Outfit for her, Foppish Count outfit for Craig, she looks quite mature. Dancing to (Sympathy For The Devil) Steady skating, you can see he is enjoying himself getting into character, with cheeky wink to camera, but nothing outstanding ....... YET!...... think he may be a dark horse & one to watch. I think his personality alone, will get him through to the series next week.


Jenifer Matcalfe & Sylvian - Lovely Lime Green outfits, nice skimpy nymph like dress for her, she fancy's him. Dancing to (Crazy For You) good foot work, graceful on the ice & good posturing. A slight stumble on the Ice, then a bit of a mishap with a lift, but pretty safe to go through I'd Say!


Comedy Dave & Frankie - Colourful yellow, pink & purple outfit, she seems sweet. Dancing to (The Safety Dance) Fun routine that Incorporated his tendency for being a bit stiff into the routine! Looked pretty steady on ice except when he had to get in & out of crouched position! Might be in final 3 though not sure he'd be known by most of Dancing On Ice's audience.


Elen Rivas & Lukasz - Very sexy Hot Pink outfit for her, he is odd looking & somewhat arrogant. Dancing to (Your Love Is King) She looked uncomfortable, her face was grimacing a lot, she needs to sort her face out, IF she makes it through to show starting next week! Steady on ice, but a bit stiff reasonable posturing. I think she may be in the bottom 3!


Dominic Cork  & Alexander - Very attractive Electric blue outfits for them both, She has a cute, but an unusual face. Dancing to (Are You Ready For Love)  Good solid performance, looks comfortable on the ice, routine lacked oomph though.

Chloe Madeley  & Michael - Very pretty mauve-ish pink outfits, he seems a nice guy. Dancing to (My Ma Ma Told Me) Very confident on ice good performance, needs to work on confidence & posturing!

Sam Attwater & Brianne - Very lovely pail silver outfits, she is a cute feisty little bundle. Dancing to (Club Can't Handle Me) A Excellent, Exciting, Confident routine, but he unlike the others use to go to ice skating disco's to pull, so not a beginner! Shame he wasn't such a dynamic actor in EastEnders (I'd forgotten about his character already) god only knows the doom factory could of done with it!

Denise Welch & Matt - Cute Khaki GI outfit's though the 50's hair & make-up really aged Denise badly, Matt is a Charming Yank. Dancing to (I Don't Care) Skating has done wonders for Denise's figure she has become very toned, she managed well on the ice with quite a fun comedic performance, no stumbles or wobbles & her loose women viewers should ensure she gets through!


My guess for the bottom 3 are Elen, Comedy Dave & Dominic due to the audience less aware of them in the public eye sense, and Elen's Poe face throughout her performance!

The Skate Off Show, I recon the 3 to be up for the skate off are Elen, Comedy Dave & Dominic. 

The Results Show & the results are in:-  


Comedy Dave - THROUGH (that surprises me as it was an OK, fun  performance but nothing special)


Sam - THROUGH (no surprise)


Dominic - THROUGH (bit surprised skated well but performance was bland)

Chloe - THROUGH (no surprise  good skating & votes of Richard & Judy fans)

Denise - THROUGH (expected with her Loose Women fans)


Bottom 3 are Craig, Jennifer & Elen, Elen I expected, Jennifer did make some mistakes, but with her gracefullness  before that, I expected that to be overlooked. 

Craig has had less time to practice but I expected his personality to win him through!! 

Hopefully it will be Elen out, with one other as her stroppy face & demeana are not attractive to watch! I thought she said since she began dating Peter Andre she couldn't wipe the smile off her face!! Well she excelled at wiping it off tonight!

 Sultry Latino 
Or Sour Puss, You Decide!


They danced 2nd time round, Craig was better, as was Jennifer even Elen managed a smile this time! Clair her manager must of checked the tweets on her performance & had a word!


The votes were in Jennifer is in, Craig & Elen are out!!!

NEXT WEEK THE REAL BATTLE COMMENCES !! .......


***************


Sunday 23rd Jan, The Battle is on the 12 finalists now fight it out to win Dancing on Ice & this time the judges points count!!

Philip Schofield looking like a chocolate dream & Holly like a pretty Milk Maid! The 12 in the final are:-

Denise Welch - Sam Attwater - Dominic Cork - Chloe Madeley - Jeff Brazier - Vanilla Ice - Comedy Dave - Jenifer Matcalfe - Laura Hamilton - Johnson Beharry VC - Kerry Katona - Steven Arnold 

The Competition begins!!

Vanilla Ice & Katie -  Black Top Hat & Tails for him & cute Ivory dress for her. Dancing to (Minni The Moocher) This performance was a change of style & didn't excite like last weeks!! 

Chloe Madeley  & Michael - Very nice Navy Blue outfits. Dancing to (The Climb) Very confident on ice good performance, good posturing & seemed more confident, despite the frog lift worrying her! 

Denise Welch & Matt - Pastel Gold OTT Abba outfit's . Dancing to (Gimme, Gimme,Gimme) Skating another fun routine, but looked a lot less confident & more unsteady in this routine, than last week!!

Dominic Cork  & Alexander - Gorgeous Acid Yellow Dress, good outfits for them both. Dancing to (Feel)  Good solid performance, looks comfortable on the ice, much improved performance than last week. 

Laura Hamilton & Colin - Lovely Turquoise Blue outfits. Dancing to (All The Lovers) A very good Skater very graceful, lovely performance, he is still a hottie!! I so would!! The only thing going against them, will be the public, like me, not knowing who the hell she is! I think she will be safe this week tho!!

Steven Arnold & Nina Saucy Hot Pink & Nude Costumes, he looked quite trim in his outfit, Nina is quirky looking. Dancing to (Rhythm Of The Night) Steven very stiff & awkward, moves nervously, bit better than before, but I think he will be gone unless, stupid Corrie viewers vote for him, just because they liked his Corrie Character Ashley, but him being so unprofessional as to sleep through his alarm & miss choreography may work against even his corrie fans!!

Jeff Brazier & Isabelle - Very nice Deep Violet outfits. Dancing to (I Want You Back) He was quite good, good lines, quite fluid movements & but looked less relaxed & confident, this performance. Like his feisty-ness with Jason tho!!
 
Comedy Dave & Frankie - Nice Razzmatazz Slate Grey outfits. Dancing to (The Way You Look Tonight) Looked pretty steady on ice but still a bit stiff still.  

Jenifer Matcalfe & Sylvian - Lovely Pastel Gold outfits, nice skimpy nymph like dress for her, she definitely still fancy's him. Dancing to (California Girls) good foot work, graceful on the ice & good posturing. Safe this week I feel

Sam Attwater & Brianne - Very lovely Pail Grayish Mauve outfits. Dancing to (Stop & Stare) A Excellent, Exciting, Confident routine, but he unlike the others use to go to ice skating disco's, Good lifts & movement. Safe this week. 


Johnson Beharry VC & Jodie - Pretty Lilac dress for her & shirt & tie for his outfit. Dancing to (I'm Into Something Good!!) Decent consistent performance. Nothing outstanding!

Kerry Katona & Daniel - Lovely Orange outfits. Dancing to (Respect) Surprisingly smooth set, with good graceful posturing, and good lines, but more time being carried or lifted than on the ice skating, once again, the finish was a bit stilted & lacked flow.

Steven Arnold should go if there is any justice, he Denise & Comedy Dave were the worst 3

Now a hours wait until the results!

The Results show.....

And The Results are in!!!......


Kerry - THROUGH


Sam - THROUGH


Comedy Dave - THROUGH (Lucky)


Johnson - THROUGH (Expected)


Laura - THROUGH

Vanilla Ice - THROUGH


Jeff - THROUGH


Jennifer - THROUGH

Chloe - THROUGH


Denise - THROUGH 
(By skin of teeth, no doubt due to loose women fans)


Dominic & Steven are in the skate off !! Like I thought over sleeping Steven did himself no favours!! .....Bye Bye Steve!!


The Judges choose who to save on skate off, and looks they were also not impressed by his lack of professionalism & as predicted Bye Bye Steven!!!!


***************

Sunday 30th Jan, the new show begins with the "Ice Pick" twist where its the competing celebs who will decide who will go out, from the bottom two's skate off!! 

Philip looking much the same as past weeks, but with a brownish instead of red tie & Holly looking cute in a black & silver dress, though not something I'd of put her in, there are more attractive maternity options out there!!

Chloe Madeley  & Michael - Very raunchy black leather & lace "Rocker" outfits, liked her lace catsuit a lot. Dancing to (I Love Rock & Roll) Very confident on ice good performance, good posturing & seemed confident, despite the dangerous her blades round his throat spin! (Safe this week)


Johnson Beharry VC & Jodie - Sexy red/orange/yellow dress for her, like a bikini with mini grass skirt & red glittery satin shirt & black trousers, for his outfit. Dancing to (One Love) Decent consistent performance, but no showman ship or personality in routine, nothing outstanding again! (One of the weaker contestants dance wise, but his war hero status may keep him in)

Jeff Brazier & Isabelle - Very pretty aqua floaty dress for her, matching Lycra V-neck top for him with black trousers. Dancing to (Better Together) He was quite good, good lines, quite fluid movements & but looked confident, shame he had a fall during this performance, but he has improved. (Hopefully as he is a nice enough bloke, the public wont punish  him for his fall)

Kerry Katona & Daniel -  Mauve-ish grey mesh/lace outfits, not that attractive & make-up did nothing for her either. Dancing to (Disturb You) Jerky awkward start, with good graceful posturing, and good lines later, but still most of the time time being carried or lifted than on the ice skating, once again, the finish was a bit stilted & lacked flow too. (she may be in danger this week)

Vanilla Ice & Katie -  Black trousers & electric blue shirt glitter pinstripes for him & cute sparkly electric blue dress for her. Dancing to (Always) This performance was a change of style again & fluid slow & romantic & better than last weeks!! (Safe this week)

Dominic Cork  & Alexander - Gorgeous Union Jack dress, that Gerry Halliwell would be jealous of, he had Union Jack waistcoat & black trousers with wide red stripe down side. Dancing to (I Can See For Miles)  Good solid performance, looks comfortable on the ice, decent performance than last week.(May not be exciting enough to get enough votes)

Laura Hamilton & Colin - Lovely red mini flamenco style dress, him in red frilled shirt. Dancing to (At You Feet) A very good Skater very graceful, lovely performance, shame about the hiccup at the end. I still so would Colin!! (I hope the hiccup wont go against them, partly due to not wanting hottie Colin off the screen, but the viewers might)

Jenifer Matcalfe & Sylvian - Lovely pastel candy pink outfits, nice 60's style mini dress for her, with hot candy pink hearts along skirt hem. Dancing to (Anyone Who Had a Heart) good foot work, graceful on the ice & good posturing. Slight stumble mid way, but good set. They have chemistry (Don't think most viewers will hold slight stumble against her this week, if they noticed it!)

Denise Welch & Matt - Attractive acid yellow outfit's. Dancing to (Slow) Skating a much more serious routine, but looked a tad unsteady in this routine, but improved, ability wise!! (I think she is safe due to Loose Women viewers votes if nothing else)


Sam Attwater & Brianne - Gorgeous, funky, fun, shocking pink outfits. Dancing to (Crazy Little Thing Called Love) A Excellent, Exciting, Fast, Confident routine. Good lifts & movement, bucket loads of chemistry. (Safe again this week)


Comedy Dave & Frankie - Fun outfits, orange mix lumberjack shirts, hers tied under bust, worn with 3/4 orange leggings, with with glitter stars coming out of top of leggings across her ribs like a spreading Vajazzle!!. Dancing to (Achy Breaky Heart) Looked pretty steady on ice, improved not so stiff. She stumbled slightly at end (might be in danger, depends how many radio fans watch DOI?)


There have been a few hiccups tonight & a few lack lustre performances, but I think the three in most danger are Kerry, Dominic & Comedy Dave (lets see if I'm right in a hour!!)


The Results Are in .........


Dennise - THROUGH (thanks to fan base)

Vanilla Ice - THROUGH (no surprise)

Sam - THROUGH (of course)

Comedy Dave - THROUGH (slightly surprised)

Laura - THROUGH (deserved)

Jennifer - THROUGH (deserved)

Johnson - THROUGH (due to being hero)

Chloe - THROUGH (Well deserved)

Down to final 3 Jeff, Dominic & Kerry

Kerry - THROUGH (quite a shock!)

So it's down to Jeff & Dominic, I expected Kerry & Dominic, despite Jeff's fall. Fingers crossed Jeff does it without a fall & Jeff goes through!!

Jeff did his perfect, Dominic still slightly stiff & jerky!! 

The Skaters Vote 

 Chloe - Jeff
Johnson - Dominic
Kerry - Jeff
Vanilla Ice - Jeff
Laura - Jeff
Jennifer - Jeff
Dennise - Dominic
Sam - Jeff
Comedy Dave - Dominic 

So Jeff was through with 6 votes to 2 even if Vanilla Ice's coin toss fell on Dominic it would of still been 5 votes to 3. The Ice Pick was somewhat lacking in the tension & excitement it was meant to cause, hope its back to normal next week!! 

****************


Sunday 6th Feb, the show begins with a Vegas theme!! With Torvil & Dean & the professionals dancing to Barry Manilow's Copa Cabanna. Phillip has changed from his normal shiny brown suit to black tie attire, Holly is Sparkling in a glittery gold number (a improvement on last weeks dress) with black sequined cumberbund at waist. The challenges start from this week, which are to skate separate from their partner mirroring them in unison among, other foot steps also needing including.

The Skating begins!!........

Jenifer Matcalfe & Sylvian - Gorgeous transparent black sparkly leotard and tights in a homage to Cher for her & transparent black sparkly T-Shirt with V-Neck for him. Dancing to (If I Could Hold Back Time) good foot work, graceful on the ice & good posturing. She mirrored him well, only a slight hiccup mid way, by having difficulty keeping her legs held up in position in her high lift, but good set. (Yet again I don't think most viewers will hold slight hiccup against her this week, if they even noticed it!)


Jeff Brazier & Isabelle - Very cute red floaty dress for her, matching red shirt & waistcoat with black trousers for him. Dancing to (It's Not Unusual) He was really good, good lines, quite fluid movements & looked more  confident, footsteps were good & he mirrored well he has improved.


Laura Hamilton & Colin - Lovely white sparkly A-Symmetrical straps mini dress, with him in white trousers & a white spangly clingy white long sleeved top Phwoooooor!!!. Dancing to (It's All Coming Back To Me Now) A very good Skater very graceful, lovely performance, shame about the hiccup at the end of a perfect unaided mirroring performance. (I hope the hiccup wont go against them)

Denise Welch & Matt - Attractive shocking pink outfit's. Dancing to (Swonderful) Skating a much more serious routine, not in a fancy dress outfit for a change, but trying too hard with the comedy & failed with the passion bit of the song (which belies her cougar roots) but improved, ability wise!! (I think she is safe, due to Loose Women viewers votes if nothing else)

Comedy Dave & Frankie - Gorgeous little mint dress for her & mint frilled front satin shirt for him. Dancing to (Release Me) Looked pretty steady on ice, improved maybe a tad, stiff still, a slip up where she stumbled trying to catch hold of his hand in the routine (I think it's time he went, he has had a lucky escape 2 weeks in a row)



Vanilla Ice & Katie -  Ugly Vegas Gold Lame Suit & Electric Blue shirt, gold tie & electric blue boots & cute sparkly gold skirt with Electric blue petticoats, with electric blue spaghetti string straps for her. Dancing to (Blue Suede Shoes) This performance was good except he nearly fell twice, once after a good shadowing effort (Safe this week I think as Comedy Dave was much worse)


Johnson Beharry VC & Jodie - Pretty purple, one strapped dress for her & Purple jacket, black sparkly shirt & black trousers, for his outfit. Dancing to (Piano Man) Decent consistent performance, but more showmanship & personality than before in routine, nothing outstanding, but better than Comedy Dave! (One of the weaker contestants dance wise, but his war hero status may keep him in)

After a real bitch fest between Coach Karen & judge Jason, that got nasty! 



Sam Attwater & Brianne - Gorgeous, baby pink dress a black suit with a matching pink with silver sequined striped shirt for him. Dancing to (I Get A Kick Out Of You) A Excellent, Exciting, Fast, Confident routine. Good lifts & movement, bucket loads of chemistry, perfect mirroring. (Safe again this week) 


Kerry Katona & Daniel -  Absolutely beautiful shade of Candy Pink babydoll dress with floaty pleated lower part, lovely matching pink sparkly shirt for him . Dancing to (Woman In Love) Good graceful posturing, and good lines later, but still most of the time time being carried or lifted her mirroring part was so simple compared to everyone else's yet looked awkward & lumpy and her lack of confidence showed on face when not clinging to him. (she is in danger this week, of being in bottom two, with Comedy Dave)

Chloe Madeley  & Michael - Very cute 50's sailor & sweetheart outfit him in vest & braces & sailor hat, her in sheer white pussy cat bow blouse & black short flared skirt. Dancing to (In The Mood) Very confident on ice good performance, good posturing & seemed confident, good mirroring, a tad messy in spots but it was very fast! (Safe this week)

Now the break if Comedy Dave & Kery Katona are not in the bottom to I will be shocked & an injustice will have happened!! 

Results Show begins!! 


The results are in ......


in no particular order .......


Sam - SAFE


Jeff - SAFE


Kerry - SAFE (SHOCKED!!!!!)


Laura - SAFE

Comedy Dave - SAFE (SHOCKED AGAIN)


Chloe - SAFE


Dennise - SAFE


Johnson - SAFE (he was left to last thought he was in skate off which would of been fare enough, but no.....)


Jennifer & Vanilla Ice in skate off  TOTAL MADNESS!!

Jennifer skates 1st good performance but this time her arms flay, instead of her legs in high lift. (found out she injured her knee in 1st round in the high lift)



Rob AKA Vanilla Ice skates good performance, none of the near falls like last time, (find out after his partner has broken toe)


& The Winner who lives to Skate another day is Vanilla Ice!!!!


Not fair that Jennifer didn't go through, Dave or Kerry or Johnson should of gone!!! Stupid public voting for personality's not ability's!!

***************** 


Sunday 13th Feb,  The Show begins, Philip back in his trusty chocolate brown suit with a sheen & Holly in a very pretty, pail pink, dress, which is a tad too pail for her colouring, she looks a tad washed out by it!! Lets hope the public are not so stupid in their voting this week, liked Jane Torvill's long green dress. The Skill this week is a waltz jump, the theme 'A night At The Theatre'


The Skating Begins.....


Jeff Brazier & Isabelle - Very cute red floaty dress for her, matching red cummerbund & white shirt with black trousers for him. Dancing to (All I Ask Of You) He was really good, good lines, quite fluid movements & very good lifts, footsteps were good, his jump though was a very small one, but he has improved yet again.


Denise Welch & Matt - Attractive black Cabaret like outfit's, with her in sparkly black tuxedo jacket with crystal encrusted lapels, over a see-through black sparkly leotard, with black knickers & bra showing, her bodys looking great (skating obviously does wonders for your figure) & a bowler hat. Dancing to (Roxy) Skating well, did well on her jumps but failed with the passion with partner again (needs to get her cougar roots back) despite throwing off her jacket, but improved, ability wise!! (I think she is safe, due to Loose Women viewers votes if nothing else)


Sam Attwater & Brianne - Gorgeous, White Mini Wedding dress a White Candy Striped Jacket, with white shirt & trousers, plus a matching patterned bow tie, for him. Dancing to (What A Picture) A Excellent, Exciting, Fast, Confident Comedic routine. Good lifts & movement, bucket loads of chemistry, good jumps, even though they were what he was worried about. (Safe again this week)


Kerry Katona & Daniel -  A Gold leotard with a Cream & Gold waistcoat on top with a gold bow tie at neck, hair looked bloody awful. A white shirt & trousers & matching waistcoat & bow tie for him . Dancing to (There's No Business Like Showbusiness) Good graceful posturing, and good lines later, but still 98% of the time time being carried or lifted her partner her brief moment of lone skating was average & jumps so tiny almost unnoticeable (she is in danger this week, of being in bottom two, due to her STILL relying on holding on to her partner)


Chloe Madeley  & Michael - Very pretty sparkly Navy halterneck dress with a floaty chiffon knee length skirt to it, with him in a brocade military waistcoat, in a soldiers outfit, that's quite Adam Ant. Dancing to (On My Own) Very confident on ice, good performance, good posturing & seemed confident, not as exciting as other routines! (Safe this week)

Johnson Beharry VC & Jodie - Pretty yellow dress with tiny feather tutu skirt for her & Purple satin shirt & purple & yellow plaid trousers, with braces, for his outfit. Dancing to (Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life) A consistent performance, with more personality than before in routine, nothing outstanding. (But still one of the weaker contestants dance wise, but his war hero status may keep him in)


Vanilla Ice & Katie -  Funky dusky pink & black Zebra stripe jacket for him over a Black shirt &  trousers, for her cute sparkly navy 3/4 Lycra leggings & a pinky mauve sparkly, spaghetti strapped leotard underneath. Dancing to (Born To Hand Jive) This performance was good and fast paced & two different jumps (Safe this week I think)


Comedy Dave & Frankie - Great multi coloured fringed outfits, turquoise hot pants for her purple flares for him. Dancing to (Aquarius) Looked pretty steady on ice, improved maybe a tad, stiff still, muffed up his two 1st lifts and looked unsteady in other lifts & his jumps (I think it's time he went, he has had many a lucky escape)

Laura Hamilton & Colin - Lovely Candy Pink sparkly 60's style mini dress (very much like one I have in my wardrobe) with a big matching bow in her hair, with him in black trousers & a pink shirt, pink & grey large plaid jacket & grey tie. Dancing to (You Cant Stop The Beat) A very good Skater very graceful, lovely performance, 1st ever celebrity to do a back flip on the show EVER. (Safe)



I think its Comedy Dave & Johnson in bottom two, as Kerry seems to be untouchable, unless people are eventually tired of her not moving forward!! 

The Results Show......

The results are in, so in no particular order........

Vanilla Ice - SAFE (Expected)


Laura - SAFE (Obviously)


Jeff - SAFE (Expected)


Sam - SAFE (Naturally)


Chloe - SAFE (Expected)


Johnson - SAFE (Somewhat Lucky)


Denise - Kerry & Comedy Dave are the final 3 standing.....


Denise - SAFE (Expected)


Comedy Dave & Kerry in skate off either could go, as judges decision & although Kerry is better in her lines & poses when held, she has not improved much from day one tho & still is holding partner 98% of time, Comedy Dave is worse in his posturing, but unlike Kerry, he has made a improvement each week!!


The Judges save Kerry 2 to 1 Jason & Emma save Kerry for performance, but it's the Olympic Gold Winning Skater, Cousins that votes for someone who's skating has actually improved. (Thought this was a skating competition NOT a performance one!)




*****************


Sunday 20th Feb, The show begins, oooh Philip in a lovely mauve-ish slate grey 3-piece suit with matching tie & white shirt, which makes a change from the chocolate one! Holly in a long pail blue-grey draped Grecian like dress that flows over her baby bump nicely! This week they have to incorporate all 3 skills they've learnt thus far, the step, the jump & the spin.
The Skating Begins........


Chloe Madeley  & Michael - Attractive, but nothing special,  sparkly, black dress, with a floaty chiffon knee length skirt to it, wouldn't look out of place in a club, a bit cocktail dress like, with him in black trousers & transparent crystal covered black vest. Dancing to (Little Bird) Less confident on ice, than usual, fair performance, fair posturing & not as exciting as other routines! Steps OK, jump OK but stumbled at end of spin & nearly went over, her worst performance so far, but.. (Probably safe this week, not for her performance but due to die hard Richard & Judy fans)

Johnson Beharry VC & Jodie - Pretty turquoise dress with tiny feather tutu skirt for her & matching satin shirt & black trousers for his outfit. Dancing to (Will be loved) A consistent performance, but needs more personality in routine, but still nothing outstanding. (still one of the weaker contestants dance wise)

Laura Hamilton & Colin - Lovely Amethyst sparkly strappy mini dress, with transparent waist area with sparkly stripes, with him in black trousers & a matching Amethyst transparent vest with sparkly stripes. Dancing to (Stop) A very good Skater very graceful, lovely performance, it looked effortless, fast paced exciting to watch, the step, jump & spins were excellent as were added lifts only once did she look slightly less graceful as she came out of one of the lifts. (Safe)

Jeff Brazier & Isabelle - Very cute Fuchsia floaty dress for her, matching Fuchsia V-neck Lycra top with black trousers for him. Dancing to (Forget You) He was really good, good lines, quite fluid movements & very good lifts, footsteps were good, as was his spin (he seemed relieved he'd not fallen after spin) his jump was better this week, he has improved yet again. (Safe)


Denise Welch & Matt - Attractive Ivory outfits, hers a sparkly champagne sequined top to dress with Ivory fringing from below bust, Him in Ivory trousers & matching sparkly Lycra T-shirt. Dancing to (True Colours) Skating well, did well on her steps & jump & spin was OK & for once you could actually see chemistry with her partner for once, much improved (I think she is safe)

Sam Attwater & Brianne - Cute, skimpy, dress with a two tone, chequer board, top to it with a tiny fringed skirt with pom pom like pony tail hair do & Lovely Air-force Blue satin shirt, with jet gems on & black trousers for him. Dancing to (She Said) A Excellent, Exciting, Fast, Confident routine, with lots of content. Good lifts & movement, loads of chemistry, good jumps, steps & he even did the dangerous head banger spin (Safe again this week)

Kerry Katona & Daniel -  A pretty short pastel mint dress with tiny fringed skirt, for her & matching pastel Mint T-shirt with crystals with black trousers for him. Dancing to (Hush Hush) Good graceful posturing, and good lines later, but still 99% of the time time being carried or lifted & jumps almost unnoticeable, even when she did her spin, Daniel was ever so close to her, to catch her if she fell (she is surly in bottom two again this week, due to her STILL Totally relying on holding on to her partner)

Vanilla Ice & Katie -  Funky, sexy, black sheer body stocking, with black sequined hot pants & bra over the knee socks/boots & white baseball cap & vest with baggy sequined black trousers for him. Dancing to (Ice Ice Baby) This performance was good and fast paced & very at home with his own song (Safe this week I think)


I think bottom 3 will be Kerry, Johnson & Chloe with Kerry & Johnson in skate off & Kerry to go!

The Results Show.......

And the results are in........


In No Particular Order!!........


Denise -  SAFE (Expected)


Sam - SAFE (No Shit Sherlock)

Laura - SAFE (Expected)


Vanilla Ice - SAFE (Expected)


Chloe - SAFE (Lucky)


Bottom Three - Johnson, Kerry & Jeff (Jeff is a shock!!)

Johnson - SAFE


Kerry (not a surprise) & Jeff (a surprise) in the skate off ...... Bye Bye Kerry!!!


No Surprise when all 3 judges saved Jeff, also no surprise when Kerry poured out the same old speil of her kids being proud of her (yes Kerry so you have told us every single week, we get it, its getting boring & meaningless now!) She said she could now go on holiday, that's around the 3rd this year, wish I could be bankrupt instead of just skint!! as I'm lucky to have a holiday every 3-6 years!! obviously if I was bankrupt I'd be perma-tanned!! 


*****************

Sunday 27th Feb,  The show begins, Philip in his trusty brown ensamble & Coleen Nolan in a sparkling jet floor length dress, replacing Holly, who is suffering morning sickness or some other pregnancy ailments. 

The skating begins.......


Laura Hamilton & Colin - Lovely Tri-coloured fringed flapper dress in tiers of pink, white and baby blue, worn with a cute pink bob wig & silver headband, with him in white trousers & a pink satin shirt with bow tie & multi coloured Golfers Check singlet. Dancing Charleston (America) to (Upside Down) Very good skating very graceful, lovely performance, it looked effortless, fast paced fun & cheeky to watch. (Safe)

Jeff Brazier & Isabelle - Very cute white floaty A-symmetrical dress for her, matching white shirt & white trousers for him. Dancing a Waltz (Germany) to (When I Need You) He was really good, good lines, fluid movements & very good lifts, footsteps were good, as was his spin (he seemed relieved he'd not fallen after spin) his jump was better this week, he has improved yet again. (Safe)

Denise Welch & Matt - Fun Red & Gold Samba outfits, hers with a frilly sleeved & A-symmetrical hem Red dress, edged with gold, Him in a matching cropped top with frilled sleeves & black trousers. Dancing Samba (Latin America) to (Lets Get Loud) Skating well, but not as good as she was before, chemistry with her partner has paled again, she both hammed & comedied up the passion of the Samba & in doing it spoilt it somewhat (I think she is safe, due to Loose Women fans)

Vanilla Ice & Katie -  Sexy, black flamenco mini dress with red rhinestones & black satin shirt with red rhinestones, and red waist sash, worn with black trousers, matador style for him. Dancing Flamenco (Spain) to (Like I Love You) This performance was very good and fast paced & played the brooding sexuality of the flamenco well, not hamming it up like Denise (Safe this week I think)


Sam Attwater & Brianne - Cute Emerald Green & White traditional Irish Dress & Emerald sparkly satin shirt, with gold trim & black trousers for him. Dancing Irish Dancing to (Riverdance) A Excellent, Exciting, Fast, Confident routine, with lots of content & movement, Great footwork, but personally I preferred other routines more! (Safe again this week)
Chloe Madeley  & Michael - Very Sexy yellow skimpy mini skirt & bra top for her, with him in just black trousers & gold sash belt. Egyptian Belly dance (Middle east) Dancing to (Kiss Kiss) Looked more confident on ice, fast fun performance, more exciting as other routines!  (Probably safe this week)

Johnson Beharry VC & Jodie - Red long sleeved leotard with tiny A-symmetrical black dipped, red fringed skirt for her & matching red satin shirt & black trousers with red side stripe for his outfit. Dancing the Tango to (She Drives Me Crazy) A consistent but dull performance, for a tango not passionate enough, still needs more personality in routine, nothing outstanding. (still one of the weaker contestants dance wise, time to go I think)

I think Johnson & Denise are in danger tonight!!..... we will see!!

Results Show begins!! 


The results are in ......


in no particular order .......


Chloe - THROUGH

Jeff - THROUGH


Johnson - THROUGH 


Denise - THROUGH

Bottom 3 are Sam, Laura, Vanilla Ice

Sam - THROUGH  


So in the skate off Vanilla Ice & Katey Absolute madness should of been Denise & Johnson!!


And Vanilla Ice goes out!!!..... well done on a Crap decision Public!!

*********************

Sunday 6th March,  The Show begins, Philip in a dark grey suit with a sheen, with a white shirt & burgundy tie with matching hanky in top pocket & Holly in a very pretty, burgundy strapless dress, Lets hope the public are not so stupid in their voting this week. This week there is a Ice Team Challenge & the winning team will see their judges points doubled!


The Skating Begins.....


Denise Welch & Matt - Pretty grey/mauve dress, with a floaty short skirt & sheer top part, Him in black trousers & matching grey/mauve sparkly Lycra, short sleeved, V-neck T-shirt. Dancing to (Alone) Skating gracefully, better today, there was less hamming it up, which deters from her ability's. But as the skaters are getting less and less and some are excellent I think she may be in 'real' danger for the 1st time tonight!


Comedy was added when her inebriated, husband, Tim, jumped to her defence with Judge Jason, by getting out of his seat in the audience & right into Jason's Face .... see HERE!!


Jeff Brazier & Isabelle - Very sexy black sparkly leotard & sheer black sparkly tights & black gauntlets for her. White shirt & black suit with jeweled side panels to jacket, a untied bow tie round neck & a fedora hat for him. Dancing to (Hit The Road Jack) He was really good, good lines, fluid movements & very good lifts, footsteps were good, a very slight slip up, but getting better each week, he has shown he's improved yet again. (Safe)

Sam Attwater & Brianne - Cute pink, short, floaty dress & white trousers with white sparkly T-shirt with a pail pink waistcoat on top. Dancing to (Crazy Love) Another Excellent, Exciting, Fast, Confident routine, with lots of content & movement, Great fancy footwork, plus I have to say his butt looked mighty fine in those tight white trousers! (Safe again this week)

Chloe Madeley  & Michael - Electric blue floaty dress for her, with him in black trousers & Electric blue vest top. Dancing to (Empire State Of Mind) Looking confident on ice, good consistent, fast performance, good lines, good posture. (Safe this week)

Johnson Beharry VC & Jodie - Simple A-line turquoise dress for her & matching sparkly turquoise satin shirt & black trousers for him. Dancing to (You Are So Beautiful) A good, elegant & graceful performance with good lifts, good but nothing exciting. (still one of the weaker contestants dance wise, might be time to go I think)

Laura Hamilton & Colin - Lovely shocking pink dress for her, with him in black trousers & a shocking vest top. Dancing to (I'm So Excited) Very good fun, fast, skating very graceful, lovely performance, yet again it looked effortless, fast paced fun & cheeky!! (Safe)

Then came the team performances.....



Team Sam - Sam Attwater & Brianne - Chloe Madeley  & Michael - Johnson Beharry VC & Jodie 

Team Laura - Laura Hamilton & Colin - Denise Welch & Matt - Jeff Brazier & Isabelle 

Team Sam - Danced to (I Don't Feel Like Dancing) In Orange and Black costumes, good fun performance with good speed & timing!!

Team Laura - Danced to (Rocking All Over The World) In Black and Gold costumes, good fun performance also, but not as polished, I think team Sam was better!

Surprisingly the judges thought differently (well the two that aren't skaters Jason & Emma did) so the majority vote went to Team Laura! 

I would of put Denise, Johnson & Chloe in bottom 3 but not sure now that Laura's team has won & Denise has double points, think Johnson will definitely be one of the bottom ones!  

Results Show begins!! 


The results are in ......


in no particular order .......

Laura - THROUGH (Expected)


Jeff - THROUGH (Expected)


Chloe - THROUGH (Expected)


The Bottom 3 are Denise, Sam & Johnson


Sam - THROUGH (Expected)


So as expected Denise & Johnson are in the skate off, I expected Johnson to go, but with Jason's final vote, it was Denise that was out (Wonder if Tim's breath in his face influenced Jason??)


********************

 Sunday 13 March,  The Show begins, Philip in a dark grey suit with a sheen, with a white shirt & taupe tie with matching hanky in top pocket & Holly in a very pretty, Teal dress. This week there is a Props Challenge.


The Skating Begins.....

Sam Attwater & Brianne - Cute red crushed velvet looking leotard with a short fringed skirt & black trousers with a red satin shirt plus a Trilby. Dancing to (Peggy) Props A Microphone & A Trilby. Another Excellent, Exciting, Fast, Confident routine, with lots of content & movement, Great fancy footwork, he used the 2 props well & also included a stool prop too! He dropped the hat once though but it didn't deter from the performance!! (Safe again this week)

Johnson Beharry VC & Jodie - Simple A-line white halterneck dress for her & white blazer & frilled dress shirt plus black trousers for him. Dancing to (Goodnight Sweetheart) Props A Umbrella & A Straw Boater. A good, elegant & graceful performance with good lifts & he handled the props well both with tossing the hat & umbrella, his best performance to date. (but it's probably time to go, he is the weakest skater left)

Laura Hamilton & Colin - Lovely Asymetrical spangled black dress for her, with him in black trousers & matching black spangled shirt. Dancing to (Rolling In The Deep) Props Cane & A Chair. Very good fun, fast, skating, quite passionate, yet again it looked very effortless, she used the props well Colin looked particularly hot!! (Safe)

Jeff Brazier & Isabelle - Very cute floaty baby blue, babydoll dress for her, matching sparkly turtle neck & black trousers for him. Dancing to (We Can Work It Out) Props a Table & a Office Chair He was really good, good lines, fluid movements & very good lifts, footsteps were good, shame the chair tipped once & that he nearly fell once. (He might not be Safe due to that, but if in the skate off with Johnson he is safe)

Chloe Madeley  & Michael - Candy pink Tutu for her, with him in white trousers & baby pink V-neck T-shirt. Dancing to (Only Girl In The World) Props Hoola Hoop & Skipping Rope. Looking confident on ice, good consistent, fast performance, good lines, good posture, the props were used excelently very good routine. (Safe this week)

I think it will be Johnson & Jeff in skate off (due to misshaps) and in the skate off Johnson will go!


The Results Show.......

And the results are in........


In No Particular Order!!........


Johnson - THROUGH (Big surprise!!)

Chloe - THROUGH (Expected)

Laura - THROUGH (Expected)


Sam & Jeff in the skate off..... think it should of been Johnson & Jeff & Johnson should of gone.... he is through, purely due to his hero status, not for his skating!!!

Jeff went 1st & performed it perfectly!!


Sam went 2nd & also performed perfectly!!


It is a shame one has to go it really should of been Johnson.... well done public, stupid voting again!!!.....


*******************


 Sunday 20th March,  The Semi Final Show begins, with Philip in a Dark Navy suit, with a white shirt & Navy tie & Holly in a very pretty, Ivory Grecian style dress, with Gold detailing under bust. This week there is a Solo Performance Challenge.


The Skating Begins.....

Chloe Madeley  & Michael - A very tiny white cut out leotard with silver stars, bra front & a tiny white fringed skirt for her, with him in black trousers white vest with silver stars . Dancing to (Firework) Consistent, fast performance, good lines, good posture, good lifts, unfortunately he stepped to far out on a crossover & their skates locked & they fell over, good but even without the fall, I have seen better performances from her. (That fall may put her in bottom two this week)


Johnson Beharry VC & Jodie - Sexy sparkly pistachio sparkly bra & tiny pistachio rara skirt edged in black with a black full frilled petticoat, for her. Bright lime satin shirt, with a lime & black cravat plus black trousers for him. Dancing to (Life Goes On) A fair, graceful performance with good lifts, but end one was a bit awkward & jerky but rather boring routine (Time to go, he is the weakest skater left, surely the hero status voting has to stop)

Laura Hamilton & Colin - Lovely turquoise blue spangled long sleeved leotard dress, with tiny fringed skirt for her, with him in black trousers & matching turquoise spangled shirt. Dancing to (The Last Dance) Excellent, fast, skating, very exciting performance, including the headbanger move, which was very fast & went very high& VERY low to the ice!! yet again it looked very effortless, Colin looked sexy!! (Very Safe)

Sam Attwater & Brianne - Sexy little halterneck A-line mini dress, with a diamante's with a sheer torso panel for her & black trousers with a black open chested shirt with a open chest & diamante's, for him. Dancing to (Don't Stop The Music) Yet another Excellent, Exciting, Fast, Confident routine, with lots of content & movement, plus the headbanger, it was the 1st time too, that I noticed how minute she is next to him! Is he mega tall or is she minuscule?? (Safe again this week)

So now the solo performances!!!....

1st to go is......

Chloe - Wearing a red & white deckchair striped, cheerleader like dress, with white headband curled hair & a red hair extension or two (That's Not My Name) A bit disappointing, somehow I expected a much more exciting routine (Still may be in bottom two!)


Johnson - Wearing a bright canary yellow sparkly satin shirt, with black trousers. Dancing to (Don't Worry Be Happy) He stayed upright, skated OK but it was a lack lustre and slow routine (Time to go!)


Laura - Dressed in denim look hotpants, with a stars & stripes shredded vest top, with hair in Hill Billy bunches & skates made to look like cowboy boots, plus stars & stripes flag painted on face. Dancing to (These Boots Are Made For Walking) Cute & fun & faster than the 1st two definitely the best solo skate so far (Soooo Safe!!) 

Sam - Dressed in what looked like a white army dress suit, white trousers with black side stripe & white black trimmed cropped jacket & white Satin Shirt. Dancing to (Superstition) As expected fast confident skating but the hip hop moves & Caterpillar moves lying on the ice spoilt it for me as that's not really ice dancing, as your lying down so I still like Laura's performance best (But he is still deffo in the final!!) 

So unless the public are mental & vote Johnson to stay in then I think Johnson will be in skate off & go, if he is not in skate off Chloe will be &  she will go!!! 


WE will see in 1 hr's time if I'm correct!!?.....

Results Show begins!! 


The results are in ......


in no particular order .......

Sam - THROUGH (Expected)


Laura - THROUGH (Expected)


Just like I said it will be Johnson & Chloe in the skate off & I can say with assurance it will be Johnson going!!


Chloe up 1st ... excellent performance, it was far better than 1st performance, even if they'd not fallen last time!!


Next Johnson .... Sweet, but dull performance.... 


Now The Judges Vote ....


Robin Saves - Chloe


Jason Saves - Chloe 


Emma Saves - Chloe 


There was never a doubt tonight that if Johnson was in the skate off, that he would be going, the other 3 are in a different class to him! So heres to the final next week. I'd like to see Laura & Colin win personally!


*********************


Sunday 27th March,  The Show Final begins, Philip in Black suit & tie with a white shirt & Holly in a stunning floorlength Post Box Red Dress, the 3 finallists have to do their own showcase routine, then their most memorable/favorite (to them) performance the winning two go on to perform The Bolero in the skate off final!

The skating begins....... 

Sam Attwater & Brianne - Sexy little denim look hotpants with a cropped tie front, sleeveless red & white blouse for her & black trousers with a white diamante T-Shirt for him with a black leather jacket. Dancing to (Footloose) With a 4 other professional dancers. Yet another Excellent, Exciting, Fast, Confident routine, with lots of content & movement, with lots of interaction with his partner & the 4 other professionals.


Laura Hamilton & Colin - Laura wore a black spangly panti girdle & pointy bra, with him in ONLY in black trousers, skates & a smile PHWOOOOOOR!! Dancing to (Express Yourself) Excellent, fast, skating, very exciting performance, partly due to 3 fit topless men, although she seemed to be lifted etc more than she actually skated which is odd as she is a excellent skater Colin looked sexy!! (Very Safe)
 
Chloe Madeley  & Michael - A very sexy Asymetrical pink mini skirt, with matching bra top for her, with him in black trousers & T-Shirt. Dancing to (I've Had The Time Of My Life) Consistent, fast performance, good lines, good posture, good lifts, unfortunately though her leg positioning in a few looked clompy & in one where 3 girls were lifted in a row the 2 girls both had one knee bent up, but hers were kind of flopping there.
 
 
Sam Attwater & Brianne - Sam chose his (Riverdance) routine as his most memorable/favorite routine to do! In the traditional Irish costumes. He got 3 x 9.5 scores


Laura Hamilton & Colin - Laura chose her (I'm So Excited) routine as her most memorable/favorite routine to do! In their hot pink & black costumes! She got 3 x 10 scores 
 
Chloe Madeley  & Michael - Chloe chose her (Kiss Kiss) routine as her most memorable/favourite routine to do! In her hot yellow belly dancers outfit with him topless in black trousers & gold waist sash. She got 3 x 9.5 scores

I would like to see Laura win, not only due to hottie Colin but, she has just got better & better & although Sam is excelent, he could already skate & went to ice rink discos when younger. I think it will be Laura & Sam through!!

The results are in ......


in no particular order .......

Sam - THROUGH 
Laura - THROUGH


So as I expected Chloe came 3rd......


Sam Attwater & Brianne - Sam & Brianne's Bolero was very strong & agressively passionate, fast paced & highly emotionally charged! 
 
Laura Hamilton & Colin - Laura  & Colin's Bolero was full of a more romantic passion, than the aggressive passion of Sam's, excellent skating & Colin looked HOT!!!

The Results are in and the Winner is!!!......

Sam Attwater & Brianne

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